sigh-idk-what-i'm-doing-anymore

Idk why there are companies out there who expect a recent graduate to apply for an entry level position with 2-3 years of experience under their belt already.

Some of us didn’t have the time or liberty to handle a full-time job or an internship during our years at University, but that doesn’t make us any less of an asset.

Heroin

This is on my wattpad but idk I wanted to post it here too b/c boredom but if you want to check out my wattpad page go here.


“I can’t take this anymore Kellin!” Vic said exasperated. He had just walked in on his boyfriend holding a crack pipe to his mouth, but it wasn’t crack. It was something Vic had thought Kellin had stopped doing. Kellin sighed, his head falling into his hands.

“Vic, I’m sorry. I ran into my old dealer and he gave me an offer I just couldn’t pass up.”

“So you start smoking this again?” Vic asked angrily holding the glass pipe in his hand careful to not dump out the contents.

“It was just a little bit of heroin Vic, it’s not going to kill me.” He said shrugging and sitting up.

“Really Kellin? It’s not going to kill you!?” Vic asked incredulously. “It’s fucking heroin, this stuff fucks you up! It can give you a fucking heart attack, it makes your teeth rot out. Sorry babe but I don’t plan on kissing that.” Vic said and threw the pipe against the wall as hard as he could the glass shattering and the drug showers to the ground.

“Dude! You just wasted all of that!” Kellin yelled standing up from his seat.

“Dude.” Vic mocked making a face at his boyfriend, “You’re pathetic. I can’t believe I thought I would ever be able to be with a recovering addict.” He spat and Kellins eyes widened.

Vic had never done this before, he’d never treated Kellin like this when he slipped up. The two had been together for about two years now and before Kellin met Vic he was just starting to quit heroin. He had checked himself into rehab where he had met Vic, one of the volunteers who helped out.

They fell in love quickly and Vic had been convinced that his love would be enough to keep Kellin clean but apparently that was no longer the case. He would tell Kellin that he was worth something to someone , to him. He said that he could never stop loving Kellin. That he wouldn’t give up on him. Was all of that just a lie?

“Are you listening?”

“I’m listening.” Kellin said glaring at his lover. “I don’t think you understand Vic! It’s like my morphine, it makes me numb.  It’s my sweetest sin and I can’t seem to get enough. ”

“I don’t care anymore Kellin! Don’t you see? I’m falling to pieces just worrying about you all the time and I’m tired of having to pick them up, I don’t even want to. I don’t want to watch you do this anymore- I can’t.” Vic said his eyes watering. “I love you too much to watch you destroy yourself like this. I can’t do it.”

“Vic, please just stay with me.” Kellin pleaded, “I can get better.”

Vic shook his head. “I don’t think you can. This is the fifth time you’ve relapsed since you got out of rehab.”

“I can! Vic please, why won’t you just believe me?”

“I can’t,  I love you.” He said walking away from Kellin. “Just know that I won’t forget you, I can’t.”

“What if I get better?” Kellin called as Vic opened the door.

“If you stay clean for a whole year call me.” He said before leaving the house that he once shared with Kellin.

Tears ran down Kellins face as he sat in the empty house and scratched furiously at the bugs under his skin.

“I’ll get better.” He whispered and grabbed his extra pipe and small baggie from his pocket. “I just need to do it one more time.” He said and poured the contents into the little hole at the top of the pipe licking his fingers a little when some got on them. He put the tip to his mouth and put the lighter under the round part the flames licked at the glass and Kellin inhaled.

It was done, Vic decided as he left Kellins life forever. He knew Kellin would never be able to quit. And as for Vic, well there was so much more than Kellin that mattered in the world.

So this time, he wasn’t going to pick up the pieces.