sigh-i'm-really-happy-with-this

hello friends!! so i’ve been thinking about my life and who i am/want to be a lot in the past few months and i’ve finally come to the conclusion that i’m trans. i’ve felt like something wasn’t “right” about me all my life but i could never put my finger on it. unfortunately, i can’t quite start transitioning any time soon because of my family and financial situation so that will have to wait a few more years and i’m also planning to see a therapist in the near future to sort things out. 

this is all pretty new and scary to me since i sort of declined my situation for a long time or never wanted to deal with it (mostly because my family/father aren’t exactly supportive and it would be hell for me to come out to them) and i’m still not entirely sure about who i am or who i want to be but i’m on the right track. either way, it’d be super nice if you could use she/her pronouns; that would make me feel a lot more confident and would also help me adapt myself to my situation.

4

Have a scribble dump. Mediocre doodles the blog

not nice when you’re all excited talking about a band/tv show/movie/artist/youtuber/whatever you’re really passionate about and the person you’re talking to can’t even pretend they care it’s almost like they’re yelling ‘I DONT GIVE A SHIT’ at your face but with different words 

Tbh I don’t really know why I’m posting this after all but what everrrr //D

I just wanted to say thAT I HATE YOSUKES HAIR SO MUCH LIKE HOW DOES IT EVEN WORK?! I tried so hard to draw it but it looks nothing like him after all. ಠ╭╮ಠ It’s the second time I messed his hair up *cries*
Oh and I had so much problems with the eye on the right side that I almost made a hole into the paper after correcting it too often ahahah *sweats nervously*
In short- I got really angry while drawing this. Really really angry x”DD

Okay, this sucks, I’m done *falls on the floor*

|| poppy&shay

{ xpetrixhor }

Shay smiled at the way her friend’s eyes glowed as soon as she spotted her boyfriend. Seconds later however, she’d already run off with a hasty “Laters” to hug the boy, and left Shay alone in the crowded hallway. A soft sigh escaping her lips, the brunette turned around to open up her locker and put her books in. When she turned around again, she spotted her friend now lost in a kiss. She sighed again. Not that she was jealous, quite the contrary she was truly happy for her, but lately everyone seemed to just be completely and utterly in love with another person - only she wasn’t. Of course she had a couple of relationships, but even if she didn’t quite know what love was, she knew she hadn’t been in love with any of the guys then. Sure, she had boys practically lining up, but the thing was, she didn’t find anything in them that made her feel - alive, different, anywhere near to movie-like with sparks. She was beginning to think love didn’t even exist, but when she took a last glance at her friend, she knew there had to be something there. 

Shutting her locker after putting her books away, Shay turned around to make her way to the exit. Cheerleader training was canceled for today so she had the afternoon to herself. While she was thinking about what she should do - whether to call a friend and go shopping or just laze around - she only noticed she had tripped over her own two feet the second she landed on another person, pulling them to the ground with her. Groaning, she rubbed her wrist that she’d used to lessen the hard fall, before she turned to the other. “Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry“

SO LIKE

i had this dream

about exo

and it’s only the second time this has happened, so  i was like .. o_o .. when i woke up. it was a couple of nights ago but because of school and other activities i haven’t had time to share before now so here goes

i was in a train, where freaking exo happened to be too. not alone though, there were a couple of fangirls in the seats around them, “subtly” filming them on their phones. the boys were obviously uncomfortable with it and slouched down a bit as to hide. i sat in the seat right across from chanyeol, and on his side sat jongin. i felt bad for them, so to distract them a bit i suddenly said “chanyeol?” and he looked up at me surprised. with a still heart (HOW?!?!) i then gestured to their album, which they all happened to have in their hands. “can i see?” i asked and he nodded before handing me his copy. i looked through it while going “oooh, cool!” and both him and jongin smiled.
then a jump-cut to me and chanyeol playing cards lol. i had to guess which card he had in his hand, and if i got it right i could have anything i wanted, he told me. i thought about it for at bit before i said “i want your album” (BRAIN, THIS IS A DREAM YOU COULD HAVE ASKED FOR ANYTHING AND THIS IS WHAT YOU COME UP WITH??!) and chanyeol looked surprised while jongin just gave me this radiant smile as if he was very pleased with my answer. i ended up guessing the card right (7 of diamonds) aaaaaaand then a jump cut again
suddenly i was in the airport with a ton of other fangirls, waiting for exo to arrive. when they did, people started screaming and pushing and the boys again looked very uncomfortable, keeping their gaze fixed on the ground as they made their way through the passage made for them. chanyeol looked up though and recognized me and he was like, “hey, i still owe you that album!” so he walked over to me. apparently i saw us as friends already lol so i went in for the hug, but he dodged it kinda smoothly making me feel hella awkward, before i realized i of course can’t hug him with all the fans around. so i settled with just following him to a quieter corner of the airport (again, brain, i’m so disappointed in you), where chanyeol took out the album and signed it quickly before handing it to me. he patted my shoulder and winked at me, before leaving to join the others.

and then my alarm went off

……………..

  • Me:*sees TOS on my dash* Oh, I love this show! I wish more people did!
  • Me:*sees TNG on my dash* Oh, I love this show! I wish more people did!
  • Me:*sees DS9 on my dash* Oh, I love this show! I wish more people did!
  • Me:*sees VOY on my dash* Oh, I love this show! I wish more people did!
  • Me:*sees ENT on my dash* Oh, I love this show! I wish more people did!
2

Made my first patch today 💫

kingclumsy asked:

This isn't a question but sweet jeesus your art is brilliant, both in the designs and your artistic skills in portraying them (if that makes sense). My one main dislike about Trek is the nearly all humanoid aliens and you utterly and completely remedy that! :D Thank you for making me very very happy with your art.

Thank you, I’m so glad you enjoy it all! It’s been too long, but I love drawing these aliens (and all aliens), so I’m really glad that they’re enjoyable to others too. :D

I honestly feel gross about myself. Like promposal season usually makes me really happy for other girls but after seeing quite a few girls react really rudely as if they weren’t basking in all the attention, I realized how I don’t remember if I ever felt that way. That someone would care enough to take time out of their day to ask me to go somewhere nice. Prom isn’t something that is a huge marker but as far as high school goes, I feel like it kinda does. &’ not getting asked at all while friends get asked more than 5 times becomes unnerving. Not to mention how disconnected I feel with my needs. I need to workout, I need to be happy I need to do stats homework and yet I don’t feel anything compelling me to do so.

idk why that simple thing is bugging me so much, why do I feel that much threatened when that simple little thing makes me quite happy? I mean, it’s something that I’ve been thinking about a lot and then stopped but thought about it again. the worst part is that I’m okay with what is bugging me it really makes me happy but I feel overly threatened every single day by it. I had like a bunch of anxiety attack because of that and dissociate when I think about it too much (idk why).

*happy sigh*

Lotsa dancing tonight. The band was amazing and really super friendly and one of them sent me the music to the encore waltz they got bullied into playing, which is minor key and fantastic.

And they’re super dorks, which is, of course, even better.