I really do hope that one day I’ll see you again. I don’t want this to be how our story ends, because little phrases scribbled into the other’s book of memories just won’t cut it. I want more from you.
So I will wait for you. I will wait one day, one week, 7 months, 3 years, hell even a decade. I will wait for you even if you don’t remember my name or the colour of my eyes. I will wait for you even if you claim to not love me anymore. I will try and make you fall in love again. You’re worth all the effort. I will wait for you even if it kills me because I will never ever find a love that burned as bright as ours. I will wait for you, my love. Take your time.
I hate that you’ve made me into someone who has to ask herself about what could be wrong with her, about what it is that needs to be fixed. I’ve confessed it to you before, told you all about feeling like too much of me needs to be contained or shielded from other people, all because it’s not something that people want to find in a person. And now I’m comparing myself to girls I know only on the surface level, wondering if these are girls who might say things or do things for you that I can’t, who might make you feel things that I never have. A huge part of me wants to know what you like just so that I can be that for you instead. because the truth is, I don’t want to mess this up.
One day, I’m going to be happily married to the love of my life. A guy who I can’t get enough of will be standing in front of me in a suit before everyone important to me, and I’m going to tell the world how much I want to be with him forever. He’ll adopt a couple kids with me. We’ll live in a big house with two stories and a basement outside of New York City. He’ll play guitar when we have bonfire nights. We’ll have parties often with close friends. He’ll have a huge family that compensates for my lack of one. He’ll be the perfect father, perfect gentleman. It’ll be like living for the first time. I’ll remember how stupid it was to think I’d ever been in love before. And he’ll love me back until we die.
-or none of that will happen. Life is a mystery, and I’m not guaranteed happiness.
Nap Date Part 7! Find other parts Here! Send me ideas!! Or come talk in my asks!!!
“Babe, we don’t need cookies.” He says as she’s pushing the cart towards the cookie dough.
“You might not need cookies but I do.” She says glaring at him over her shoulder.
“The things I do for you.”
“Whatever, you can’t have any then.”
“We’ll see about that.” He chuckles, walking up behind. He wraps his arms around her waist, head resting on her shoulder.
“You’re cuddly tonight.” She says leaning back into him.
“I just wanna cuddle you.” He says, voice muffled by her (his) sweatshirt.
“You’re cute.” She giggles, raising her hand to run them through his curls.
“You smell good.” He says against her neck.
“Thanks..?” She laughs. He takes in another whiff.
“Is that my signature?” He asks pulling his head back.
“Yeah.” She says pushing the cart away after grabbing two packets of cookie dough.
“Where did you get it?” He asks catching up, holding her again.
“Bought it from Macy’s I think.”
“You bought it?” He asks, stopping her.
“Yeah.” She says looking at him confused.
“Baby, it’s too much.”
“But you expect your fans to buy it, I can afford your fragrance Shawn.” She says pushing him away.
“Don’t push me.”
“I can push you if I want to.”
“Oh really?” He asks, playful smirk on his face.
“Yeah.” She says turning back to the cart. He comes up behind her, picking her up and setting her in the cart. “Shawn!!” She squeals.
“Shh.” He says looking at her.
“Get me out, I’m stuck.” She whines.
“Nah, now you can’t get away from me.” He grins.
“Ugh, you’re annoying.” She says crossing her arms.
“I thought I was cute.”
“Not anymore.” She huffs. He laughs and starts pushing the cart towards the register.
Being 10 at night, Target it pretty empty. They’ve been messing around in all the aisles, having light saber battles, dressing him up like a princess, picking out new movies, and getting cookie dough.
“Wait.” She says as he walks past the fuzzy blankets.
“What?” He looks down at her.
“I want that green one.” She says pointing at the green blanket.
“You do not need anymore blankets.”
“You’re right, I don’t. But you do.” She grins.
“What are you talking about I have blankets.”
“Not a green fuzzy one.”
“I have a blue fuzzy one.” He says shaking his head.
“Yeah but you never share.”
“You’re gonna complain till I get the blanket aren’t you.”
“Yep.” She smiles at him.
“Ugh, now who’s the annoying one.” He mumbles grabbing the green blanket and throwing it on her.
“Still you.” She giggles, sticking her tongue out at him.
“Watch yourself.” He playfully warns her.
“Or what?” She challenges.
“Are you challenging me?”
“Maybe.” She glares at him.
He shoves the cart forward, laughing as she screams for him to stop her. She’s looking behind her, hoping she won’t crash into anything or anyone. She looks back at him laughing.
“You’re such an ass.” She hollers at him. He jogs to catch up with her, taking hold of the cart.
“Don’t challenge me.” He grins down at her.
“Whatever.” She rolls her eyes. He walks over to the register, pulling up and unloading their belongings on the belt.
“Hi there.” The worker says looking over at them. She laughs when she sees Y/n sitting in the cart.
“Hi.” Shawn smiles.
“Comfy?” The worker asks Y/n.
“No, I’m stuck.”
“Oh.” The worker laughs.
“She was being difficult.” Shawn shrugs, tongue sticking out at Y/n.
“Whatever.” She rolls her eyes.
“I can see.” The worker laughs ringing up their items.
Shawn pays for the items throwing them on Y/n in the cart. He pushes her out to the jeep, throwing the bags in the back.
“Come on rascal.” He says standing in front of her with his hands on his hips.
“Shawn.” She says looking at him.
“We have to go.” He says waiting for her.
“Shawn I’m stuck, you have to help me.”
“Wait you were being serious?” He says rushing to help her.
“If I wasn’t being serious I would have gotten out a long time away.”
He picks her up, taking her out of the cart. She stands in front of him, stretching.
“I’m sorry baby, I thought you were joking.” He says putting the cart away.
“Don’t be sorry it was cute.”
“Am I cute again?”
“Get in.” He laughs opening her door. “Hey.” He says before she can climb in.
“You’re cute too.” He grins, leaning in and kissing her. She giggles against his lips. He pushes her against the side of the jeep, deepening the kiss.
Her fingers slip into his curls, sucking his bottom lip in between her teeth. He groans and pushes up against her further.
“You’re killing me.” He whispers against her lips. She laughs and pushes him away.
“How the hell am I killing you?” She laughs climbing up into his jeep.
“Sexy girl in my jeep? How is that not supposed to kill me?” He shrugs closing the door, and rushing to get in himself.
“Shawn I am literally wearing a sweatshirt and yoga pants.” She says as he settles in his seat.
“First off, it’s my sweat shirt. It’s my red one, which always makes the gold flecks in your eyes stand out. And secondly your yoga pants make your ass look real good. So yeah, you’re killing me.” He says looking over at her.
She rolls her eyes and looks away, blushing. He laughs, hand moving over the console landing on her thigh. He rubs small circles on her thigh.
“Hey.” She says looking over at him, bringing her hand up and playing with the curls on his neck.
“Hmm?” He asks looking over at her.
“Are you okay?” She asks softly.
“What?” He asks, looking back at the road.
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah.” He says smiling.
“Okay, just checking.” She smiles at him.
“Are you okay?” He asks, looking back at her.
“I’m pretty perfect.” She says nodding.
“Yeah?” He asks squeezing her leg.
“Okay we can make cookies.” He says sighing looking back at the road.
“Yeah?” She asks getting excited.
“You can’t just say that, and then not get cookies.”
“Awe thanks Baby.” She says leaning over and kissing his cheek.
He drives home, and gets out grabbing the bags. They both walk into his apartment, following her in the door. She starts getting things ready for cookies and we walks up behind her, snaking his hands around her from behind.
“Hey you.” He whispers into her ear.
“Hey.” She says leaning against back against him.
“Are we making cookies?” He asks, planting small kisses against her neck.
“Well I am, you’re kissing me.” She giggles, he squeezes her sides making her laugh harder.
“I can love on you if I want to .” He says chuckling with her.
“Okay well when you do that it makes it hard for me to concentrate.” She says swatting hum away.
“Are you saying that I can distract you, I can distract Y/n L/n?” He teases.
“Hush over there.” She says pointing at him.
“Challenging me again?” He questions, eyebrows raising.
“Maybe?” She shrugs, smirking at him.
She’s mixing the batter, sugar and flour around her. He takes a handful of flour when she turns away and grins at his idea.
“Hey can you,” She turns towards him. He throws the flour at her face before she can even finish her question. “Oh. My. God. SHAWN!” She screams biting back her laugh.
“Don’t challenge me.” He points at her. She raises her eyebrows and looks over, grabbing an egg. “Don’t.” He says backing away from her.
“But you just challenged me.”
“No, Y/n no. I’m sorry, don’t do it.”
“I would never.” She giggles setting the egg down, hiding the one in her other hand.
“Good.” He breathes a sigh of relief.
“Or would I.” She laughs smashing the egg into his mop of curls.
“Y/n!” He yells, look of shock on her face. “You’re in for it now.” He says reaching and grabbing anything he can which happens to be the batter she’s already made. He turns with his eggy hair rubbing the batter onto her face.
“No stop.” She’s giggles as she licks her lips.
By then its a full blown food fight and their chasing each other around the kitchen, throwing ingredients like their snowballs. The kitchen is covered in food, and filled with giggles.
“Okay, okay.” She laughs one he catches her, taking her to the ground with him.
“Yeah.” She says, calming down.
“Yeah.” He nods.
“We just wasted all the cookie dough ingredients.” She says looking around the kitchen.
“Totally worth it.” He snickers.
“But I really wanted cookies.” She whines looking at him.
“Me too.” He sighs, looking around then back at her. His eyes light up a bit and he reaches up, grabbing hold of a few chocolate chips. He places them on the top of her head with a grin. He leans in and kisses her.
“Best fucking cookie I’ve ever had.” He grins pulling away.
“You’re so damn cheesy.”
“You love it though.”
“I do.” She giggles.
“I need a shower.” He says, lightly touching his egg hair.
“I heard that egg adds texture and volume to your hair.” She says sitting up a bit.
“Yeah like my curls need more volume.” He says dipping his chin towards his neck so he can lean his forehead against hers.
“I don’t know, I like the curls.”
“Their pretty cute.”
“You also like to tug on them when we make out and do…. other things.” He smirks, eyebrow raising. She sighs, blushing and hiding herself in his shoulder.
“True.” She mumbles against his shoulder.
“Take a shower with me?” He asks pulling her closer.
“Yeah I’m gonna need help getting egg and batter out of my hair.” She says leaning against him.
“I can help.” He smiles nodding.
“Good.” She says snuggling closer.
“This isn’t getting us to the shower.”
“No but it’s getting me closer to you.” She sighs.
“I love days like today.” She whispers, closing her eyes.
“These are the things I miss when you’re away.” She says looking up at him. He looks down, waiting for her to go on. “I know you think I miss dates, and fancy nights. But I miss when I can cuddle with you all day, screw around in a target, and then get into a food fight when we get home. I don’t miss the publicness, I miss the privateness.” She says staring into his eyes.
“Yeah?” He asks softly. She nods, blinking at him. “Me too, I would much rather stay home with a pizza and a movie than go out and have steak at some restaurant.”
“Same.” She sighs sinking further into him.
“I really wanna snuggle and cuddle with you, but we seriously gotta shower. We can’t go to bed like this.” He says starting to get up.
“Awe.” She sighs, having to support herself.
“Here.” He says, offering his hands to pull her up. She takes his hands and he pulls her up, crashing her into his chest.
“Hi.” She giggles.
“You smell like cookie dough.”
“So do you.”
“Come on.” She says dragging him back to the shower.
“Shawn come cuddle.” She whines, walking into his home studio.
“In a sec Babe, I got an idea.” He says, lost in the lyrics pouring out his brain.
“Fine I’ll go find someone else to cuddle with.” She mumbles, smirking, knowing that she’ll get a reaction out of that one.
“Yeah okay.” He says grabbing her hand as she turns away from him. He pulls her back and she laughs knowing that she’s got him wrapped around her finger.
“Wait I want my new blanket.” She giggles trying to get away.
“I’ll share my blue one.”
“Play for me and we have a deal.”
“We always have that deal.” He grins pulling her down to his lap. She get’s comfy and he grabs his guitar strumming the new riff he can hear in his head.
“That’s new.” She says looking at him. “I like it.”
He starts humming, singing a few of the lyrics he’s written. She just sits there watching him as he write this song. He’s forgotten that she’s there, lost in his own music world.
He starts to get frustrated as he can’t quite come up with a good word to add.
“Dream.” She whispers catching his attention again.
“What?” He asks, eyes focusing on her.
“Dream, use the word dream.” She says pointing at his notebook with the lyrics.
“Dream.” He says looking back at his notebook.
He sings the chorus again, loving the change she made. He turns to her with a smile, she looks focused and catches his stare.
“Thanks Baby.” He says leaning down kissing her. “Cuddle?” He asks.
“No finish the song.”
“I can finish it later, we’ll cuddle now.”
“Shawn we are cuddling now, instead of watching a show you’re writing a song. I prefer that anyway.” She says rubbing his arm.
“I prefer when you help.” He grins.
“Yeah it’s interesting to watch you.”
“I might have to just add you to the team, be a co writer.” He smiles.
“Yeah okay.” She huffs.
Little does she know that he is actually being serious.
“Y/n.” He says looking at her. She looks up, waiting for him. “I love you.”
The first time I kissed my wife, she wasn’t my wife then, she was just this girl in a bar. But when we kissed, it was like, I gotta tell you, it was like I’d never kissed any other woman before. It was like my first kiss. The right kiss.
Anyone ready for some wild SPN season 12 speculation?
OK DISCLAIMER: this is just my opinion and I know nothing more than anyone else OK and I’m more than happy to be proved wrong or have lots and lots of opinions on this, please do, its just fun and I wanted to write down my thoughts as I flailed about this a lot today, lets be honest :)
Foreshadowing points through the season and Speculation under the cut.