sigh this is ugly oh well

Guys. Target is evil

I need a coffee table.

(I spend two days thrifting and antiquing. I do not find the oval shaped table of my dreams for my cream colored chalk paint. Ikea’s coffee tables are ugly AND expensive. So I turn to Target)

I’m picky. I find a coffee table I like. It’s expensive. Husband is going to be annoyed. Oh well. I buy it.

After just two hours I have buyer’s remorse. I think “Oh! Doesn’t Walmart have inexpensive furniture? Let me just check there to assuage my feelings. I bet their furniture sucks.”

And what do I find?

THE EXACT SAME FUCKING COFFEE TABLE FOR TWENTY FOUR DOLLARS CHEAPER.

Sigh. So I login to cancel my Target order. Haha. You can’t after a certain window of time. I guess that window has to be less than two hours. Fuckers.

So now I’m hoping I can return the damn thing while my husband is at work, none the wiser. Then I’ll purchase THE EXACT SAME TABLE for $24 cheaper at Walmart.

Shame on you, Target.

BTS - JiHope Annoying Other Members
  • Jimin: ur cute
  • J-Hope: no you're cuter
  • Jimin: no, you're the cuter one here
  • J-Hope: Actually *thinks about it* I am
  • Jimin: Wait what, you were supposed to say that I'm cuter
  • J-Hope: I mean, if you think about the situation logically I am the cute one
  • Jimin: The fuck Hobi this was supposed to be cute
  • J-Hope: listen I'm just trying to be honest here, I feel like being honest is best
  • Jimin: *voice gets louder* Well if being honest means calling me ugly then I don't like it!
  • Jin: *sighs* oh my fucking goodness
  • J-Hope: Hun, I'm not calling you ugly, but in the band, I'm the cute one!
  • Rapmon: Can you guys just shut up
  • Jimin: No! I can't! Because this mofucker thinks that I ain't as cute as his little ass
  • J-Hope: Wha- What are you trying to say!
  • Jimin: I might as well say that I'm only with you to make Jungkook jealous
  • Jungkook: I'm not jealous
  • Jimin: That's because Hobi ruined it!
  • Suga: Guys shut the fuck up i'm trying to accomplish things
  • J-Hope: *ignores* Well I guess now would be the right to tell you that I kissed V!
  • Jimin: *gasps*
  • V: Jimin u were there
  • J-Hope: I think it's time to end this
  • Jimin: Yeah... I need some time...
  • Jin: Thank God I think that they're done-
  • J-Hope: Jimin I miss you!
  • Jimin: I missed you too!
  • Every Other Member of BTS: *sighs*
Couches and Sneak Attacks

Steve x Reader x Bucky

Warnings: language

Word Count: 1,384

Authors Note: more fluffy living with Steve and Bucky because I loveeeeee it (also I suck a naming things so I’m very sorry)

Supersoldier Roommates 


“Oh man, this thing is fucking ugly.” Bucky snorted.

“Dude! There’s kid here!” Steve shot back at him.

“Sorry man, but look at this thing. No way am I letting it into the apartment.”

“Well we have to get something.” You sighed. “If you guy hadn’t broke the couch, we wouldn’t even be here.”

“It was just some friendly wrestling.” Steve clarified.

You looked over at him in disbelief, “Friendly wrestling? I watched you body slam Bucky into the couch!”

“He kicked me in the face!” Steve reasoned.

“Fury made us promise that when we moved out of the Tower, we would keep ourselves in shape! I was surprise attacking him to keep him on his toes!” Bucky rationalized.

“I promised the same thing! But you don’t see me inviting Nat over and throwing the lamp at her when she’s not looking!” You sassed, “Just don’t use our living room as a damn gym.”

Bucky let out a snort before turning his attention back to the brown couch in front of you. Minutes had passed and the longer you looked at it, the more Bucky was right. That thing was ugly.

“Come on,” you sighed, “next couch!”

Bucky did a little celebratory dance and started to follow you.

“I’m glad were not getting that thing, it looks like Steve when he first wakes up in the morning.” Bucky mused, ruffling Steve’s hair. Steve retaliated by punching Bucky in the shoulder. Bucky was going to hit Steve’s stomach, but before he could reach it, you stepped in. His fist stopped before it collided with you.

“If you guys break another couch here, I swear I’m locking you out of the damn apartment.” You scolded, pointing your finger at them. They tried to look apologetic, but failed miserably as they were holding back laughter.

“Sorry (Y/N), it just comes with living us, broken couches and sneak attacks.” Bucky smirked.

“You guys are a couple of pains in my ass.” You laughed, rubbing your hands on your face.

“Yes but we loooove you.” Steve responded, sending you kissy faces.

You let out a loud laugh and turned back to start browsing some more. Your focus was on the room, for it was massive. You were looking for an area that held couches that would appeal to your style. Spotting a section that looked promising, you headed over. Excitement coursed through your veins when you thought you spotted a potential couch. Not paying attention to the ground, it was no surprise when you hit a couch and fell over it. You landed half way on the couch and halfway on the ground, your hands gripped the cushion and it took a moment for you to realize what happened. Letting out a groan, you could hear Bucky and Steve laughing behind you. You pulled yourself up and turned around and gave them the middle finger.

“That’s one way to look at couches.” Bucky joked, before hopping over the back of it and plopping down next to you.

“Real smooth (Y/N), real smooth.” Steve piped in before following Bucky in suit.

“I don’t know how you two can wrestle each other like that, because that hurt like a bitch.”

Steve let out a laugh before pulling you into his side.

“It’s a guy thing.” Bucky added, snuggling into your other side.

You wrapped your arms around the both of them and kicked your feet onto the coffee table that was set up in front of you. The three of you sat in silence for a minute, enjoying the softness of the couch and watching the people in the store bustle about. After about three families had walked by, clearly wanting to look at the couch but not wanting to disturb you, you spoke up.

“You know, this couch isn’t half bad.”

“I agree, good for snuggling and for falling onto.” Steve added.

You smacked his head and hopped off the couch. Looking down at it, you realized it was perfect. It could fit you and the other two goons that you lived with. It was grey and simple; it didn’t have any fancy embellishments and it would go perfect with the apartment.

“Oo! And it’s in on sale!” You exclaimed, grabbing the price tag.

“Let’s take it and get the hell outta here.” Bucky huffed, pulling himself from the couch.


“Oh fuck me!” Bucky groaned.

He was currently sandwiched between the doorway and the couch that Steve and him were attempting to get inside the apartment.

“I’m sure the girl down the hall would love that.” Steve snickered.

“Quit being an asswipe and help me get this damn thing in the room!” Bucky laughed.

The store had offered to deliver it for us for free, but your two supersoldier roommates assured them that they could handle it. Watching the scene in front of you, it was clear that they couldn’t. Bucky was grimacing while Steve was pushing the right end of the couch into the living room. It was still wrapped in the plastic and it was smashing against Bucky’s face.

“You guys need some help with that?” You asked, watching over the scene.

“I know it may not look like it, but we have it under control.” Bucky grunted, his face still smashed between the couch and the door.

“I’m sure you do.” You laughed.

After about five minutes, and countless groans from Bucky, the couch had made it into the room. It was currently lying upside down, about 30 feet from where it should be. Steve was resting against the doorframe, panting heavily from the heavy lifting. Bucky was hunched over next to him, rubbing his now very red face.

“We are never buying another couch again.” He huffed, straightening himself out.

“Then don’t break this one.” You added sarcastically.

“Alright man,” Steve started, placing a hand on Bucky’s shoulder, “let’s move this bad boy into place.”

Together they picked up the couch and flipped it over. Their muscles were bulging as they carried it over and placed it into its spot.

“Alright boys, let get this bubble wrap off!” You exclaimed, clapping your hands together.

The three of you sat around the base of the couch and were picking away at the tape that held the plastic in place.

“This couch has been such a pain in my ass.” Steve moaned. “First I had to get it into the apartment and now the damn tape won’t come off!”

Bucky let out a frustrated sigh, “I’m just going to tear this shit off.”

He flexed his metal arm and grabbed the bubble wrap. A loud ‘rip’ sounded its way through the apartment. You flung your hands over your eyes to cover them.

“Please tell me you didn’t do what I think you did.” You pleaded.

Steve let out a breathy laugh, “He ripped the damn fabric off.”

You gasped and opened your eyes. There Bucky was, holding a piece of bubble wrap and gray cloth in his hand. You brought your hand to your mouth and held back laughter when you saw his face. He looked like someone had slapped him. Bucky looked over at you and begged;

“Please tell me you can fix this.”

“Sorry dude, I’m an Avenger; I never really got around to learning how to sew.”

Using his flesh hand, he wiped his face, “No more couches, I beg you.”

Steve stood up and walked over to assess the damage.

“I hope they can give us a refund, because there’s no way we can fix this.”

You placed a hand on Bucky’s back, “The couch store awaits us.”

Bucky laid back onto the ground and emitted a groan. You sat down next to him and patted his stomach.

“It’s okay Buck; we sorta made it through this couch, so we can sorta make it through the next one. We just have to work together and not tear the cloth off… or refuse the free delivery.”

Steve sat down next to you. Buck pulled himself up and the three of you sat in a small circle.

Bucky looked over the both of you, “Well its already ripped, so might as well get some use out of it.” A grin that was clearly hiding a bad idea crossed his face. “Who’s down for a wrestling match?”