sigh these idiots

*Shepard and Garrus both return from a mission*

Shepard: That was a rough one, I don’t think I’ve ever been so filthy in my life. Can’t wait to wash off.

Garrus: Yeah definitely.

Shepard: You know…..I have a really nice personal shower. Nice and private. And it’s big too. Very accommodating if more than one person wanted to use it at the same time for….whatever reason.

Garrus: I’ll bet.

Shepard: Especially since sometimes I have a hard time reaching certain places….and I’m really dirty. Sure would be nice if someone could come up to my room and help me out. In the Shower. Right now.

Garrus: Yeah…..Alright, well I’ll leave you to it then. See you later!

Shepard: …..

*two hours later*


Happy Birthday Remus Lupin

Remus: *wakes up to the sound of whispering* 

James: He’s going to love it. 

Peter: He’s not going to love it. Remember the last time?

James: Nonsense, last time was a huge success. 

Peter: He told us no last time. 

Sirius: His mouth may have said no… but his eyes were screaming yes! 

James: This time he’s going to say yes. I have a feeling… in my gut. 

Sirius: That’s indigestion. But yes… he’s going to say yes. 

Peter: *sighs* Face it guys… he doesn’t want to be our friend. 

Sirius: Pfft, that’s ridiculous. Everyone wants to be my friend.  

Peter: Not him. Just leave the poor guy alone. You guys have been at this for months. 

James: Oh ye of little faith. 

Sirius: It’s his birthday! No one wants to spend their birthday alone! 

James: Yeah, they’d much rather spend it ransacking the kitchen for chocolate cake and butterbeer.

Sirius: *loudly* Lots… and lots of chocolate cake. 

James: *louder* As much as we can carry! 


James: *whispers* You think he heard us? 

Remus: *throws aside his curtains and sighs* … You guys are idiots… *grins* Let’s get some cake.  


It’s mid afternoon. The tower of bubbles that Stiles has been constructing on Derek’s knee wobbles precariously as the werewolf shifts, water sluicing dangerously towards the lip of the bathtub. The room smells like lavender and bergamot essential oils, and Derek’s tanned skin is flushed with steam and the heat of the water. It’s barely big enough for the both of them in the tub, but Stiles would rather die than give any of this up– the bubbles, the perfumed air, and the soft smile on Derek’s face as he lays more fully against Stiles’ chest. He noses at the soft hair behind Derek’s ear and sighs happily. Life is good.

Hinatards should honestly shut up, they have no room to bash female characters for (what they think is) being shitty to other people over a guy.

Call me back when your fav has sacrificed herself for someone other than her crush.
Call me back when your fav has even only tried to protect or save someone other than her crush.
Call me back when your fav has tried to sympathize or even understand others who aren’t called Naruto.
Call me back when your fav has actually some dialogue where she isn’t thinking or talking about or to Naruto more than twice.

And actually call me back when you have taken some time to read the manga correctly.

You hold Sakura and Ino’s friendship against Sakura? If you actually took the time to read their fight in the chunin exams you would know that Sakura DID NOT end their friendship only because of Sasuke. She did it because she didn’t want to stand in Ino’s shadow anymore.

You hold Sakura’s fake confession against Sakura because it ‘potentially could have’ hurt Hinata? I am sorry, but since when was this all about Hinata, and not the fact that according to Sai who guilt tripped Sakura in the first place, Naruto was hurting very badly due to the pain Sasuke and Sakura were causing him, also because Naruto very much liked Sakura and not your fav? Sakura’s plan was to go down with Sasuke together, as she confirmed in 693, so your whole rant about how Sakura would walk with Naruto in front of Hinata is pointless gibberish. How bitter are you folks? 

It makes me laugh, really. You talk about it as if Sakura would have stopped Naruto from being with Hinata who was also an option due to her own confession. Naruto has a mind of his own, by the way. A confession directed at him doesn’t obligate him to be with that person. The fact alone that you think after Sasuke’s death by Sakura’s hands, Naruto would just be with her and happily walk down Konoha’s streets as if nothing ever happened while poor sad Hinata is watching them, shows how little you understand the manga.

I don’t have time for this nonsense.

Felix Felicis | Jungkook

Pairing: reader x ravenclaw jungkook | Hogwarts AU

Genre: fluff

Summary: Jungkook has a huge crush on you, but is too shy to confess. Luckily for him, his friends make him drink some liquid luck potion that may have been that extra push he needed.

A/N: While I was planning my Slytherin Jimin au instead of doing my dreaded psychology essay lol, this idea came to mind. I couldn’t help but write it out and I hope you like it. This is dedicated to @floriaas b/c we’ve been so soft for bts hogwart AUs and Kookie is her bias <3

Word Count: 4,633

“That is a terrible, horrible, incredibly foolish idea.”

“I know.”

“Let’s do it and see what happens!”

And that’s exactly how Jungkook and Taehyung went against Professor Slughorn’s back in an attempt to make their own liquid luck potion—also known as felix felicitis—for their personal use.

Keep reading

You'll Miss Me When I Go

Part 2:

By the end of the meeting Keith was sure he hated Lance.
He was loud, obnoxious and never stopped talking.
Keith may of been able to forgive most of this if the guy actually had a reason to be at the meetings.
Grieving for himself?
What the he’ll is that supposed to mean?
Like what did he delete his Facebook and decide he needed coinciding for it.
No matter who was talking or what they had to say, Lance had a comment or a joke.
It was like he was laughing at all their suffering.
He was even smiling when Hunk told them all how hard he found it since he lost his grandfather.
Keith was losing it and Allura seemed to notice.
“I think that’s all for today thank you all for coming.” She said standing up.
“But we have at least ten mo-”
Coran was cut off when Allura directed his attention to Keith who had been glaring at Lance for the last ten minutes.
“Ah yes. I do have somewhere to be so we shall bring the group to an end until next session.”
“Sweet I’ll call the bae to pick me up.” Lance joked jumping to his feet and pulling out his phone.
Keith wondered what kind of woman would be crazy enough to stay with that weirdo.
“So any plans after this?” Hunk asked leaning his elbow on his knee to support his head.
“Not really.” Keith shrugged. He had planned on spending the rest of the night at home alone waiting by the phone for any word from Shiro.
“Well you do now.” Hunk grinned standing up and grabbing his backpack.
“Hunks tradition, after every session we go get ice cream.” Pidge explained trying to look uninterested but something about her tone gave away the fact she was actually looking forward to it.
“I don’t know… I mean I wouldn’t want to intrude.” Keith decided to leave out the fact he wasn’t sure he could stand much more of Lance before putting him on his ass.
“Awww come on, first Lance won’t come, now you don’t want to come.” Hunk groaned throwing his arms up in the air dramatically.
“Wait Lance isn’t coming?… erm I mean sure I suppose I could go for ice cream.” Keith smiled slightly as Hunk threw his arm around him and Pidge.
“I see you’ve replaced me already Hunk.” Lance said jokingly.
“Please you know I’m just after the buy two get one free ice cream deal.” Hunk replied laughing.
“Ah I miss ice cream so much. Almost as much as you three are going to miss me until the next session.” Lance winked flirtingly causing Keith to cringe.
“Yeah miss you like the plague.” Pidge smirked.
“Ah you know you love me young pigeon.” Lance laughed obnoxiously ruffling Pidge’s hair.
“That’s a filthy lie and you know it.” She snapped without any real venom.
“Babe get your ass over here.” A tall man with incredibly long white hair leaned in the door way with a hand on his hip.
Lance’s grin grew as he did as he was told.
The man leaned down wrapping his arms around Lance possessively and kissing him on the top of the head locking eyes with Keith.
“Hey babe go get me a drink I something ok.” He said tilting Lance’s face up to him.
Lance blushed and nodded before running off eagerly down the hall to the drinks machine.
“So who’s this little cutie?” He asked cocking his hip to one side as he ran a finger along Keith’s jaw line.
Keith jerked away staring at his guy who must of been Lance’s boyfriend. “The names Keith and don’t touch me.”
“Oh a feisty little kitten I like that.” He chuckled “well Keith it is simply wonderful to meet you. I am-”
“This is Lotor, he’s Lance’s boyfriend.” Hunk sounded strange. Like he was… angry. Keith didn’t know Hunk very long but he just didn’t seem like the kind of guy that could be angry at anyone every.
Lotor glared at Hunk before his seductive smile returned “as the fatty said I am indeed with Lance… for now.” He winked and Keith felt very uneasy.
He didn’t like what he had called Hunk and despite Lance’s flaws he felt like he could do better then this jerk. But it wasn’t really his place.
“Shut up Lotor Hunks perfect!” Pidge yelled taking a step forward and had to be held back by Hunk to stop her from taking a swing at the man.
“Oh yes I’m sure he is. And that’s why Lance is hanging around him and not me.”
“You know what!” Pidge shrugged Hunk off and looked ready to pounce when Lance returned holding a bottle of coke.
She stopped in her tracks and Keith couldn’t understand why.
Why would Lance being there stop her from defending Hunk?
“Ah thanks babe.” Lotor took the drink kissing him on the head before taking a sip, which he promptly spat out and threw the bottle against the wall causing everyone to jump.
“You know I have diet!”
“Sorry bae I’ll erm… I.”
Lotor sighed “oh my sweet idiot, your lucky your so pretty, no one else would put up with you.”
“Guess im lucky you love me then.” Lance joked but Keith saw a slight shake to his hands and a nervous glance to Hunk.
“Yeah sure I do. To make it up to me you buy some me dinner.” Lotor purred grabbing Lance by the wrist and pulling him out.
“Ok… sure.” Lance glanced over his shoulder waving “I guess I’ll see you guess next session.”
With that he was gone.
“Wow…” Keith mumbled in shock.
“Yeah… Worst thing is it’s the happiest I’ve seen Lance in a very long time.” Hunk said staring after Lance like all he wanted to do was wrap him up and keep him safe from the world.

———————————————part 1:

amystrozzi: Fun facts about #YvonneStrahovski: 1- She is obsessed with #RoseHipOil for her skincare and doesn’t use much else 2- I think this is the most serious expression I’ve ever seen on her since we’re laughing 98% of the time and 3- after our glam session yesterday she gave @clarissanya and I sage that she picked and bundled herself from the mountainside. 🌿❤️ Now go catch up on #TheHandmaidsTale on #Hulu! #PraiseBe [x]

anonymous asked:

people are all about Harry being white but he has actually been portrayed as a POC already - Darren Criss is mixed race!!


tbh the avpm series has the best cast and the only other faces i’ll accept for harry potter characters. i’ll draw black harry and darren criss harry and that’s all you get from me. 

Falling In Love In A Coffee Shop

Tony x Reader

Part One:  I’ve seen the paths that your eyes wander down. I want to come too.

The title of this series come from this song and it will be central to this series going forward, so as usual please feel free to give it a listen, and this whole idea was born from a request by the ever lovely @wellthatsrandomkek

Set in the aftermath of Civil War when Tony is attempting to heal and forgive, when he meets you at a chance meeting in a small town coffeeshop will both of your lives be affected forever? Also if you have seen the movie We Bought A Zoo (2011), I imagine reader’s fashion sense and general personality to be quite like Scarlet Johansson’s character Kelly. So her setting is going to be a ranger in a wildlife park.

Request: Tony has a lot on his mind and one day leaves the tower. He finds this small, cozy coffee shop and he can’t decide what to order. You (a regular) are behind him and orders for the both of you. You talk, swap numbers and proceed to text a lot. His whole mood lights up when he gets a text from you and he slowly falls in love with you. He loves the calm you give him and your gentle ways when he spends time with you.

Warnings: Sad Tony. Sad Reader.

Words: c, 1,600

The place was empty with half the team missing. Vision was miserable and even if Rhodey had told him a hundred times not to be so hard on him Tony couldn’t quite bring himself to forgive him.

But he couldn’t help but pause to wonder if Vision was who he was really angry at.

Or was it Steve?

Or himself?

Or all of the above?

He sighed and ran his hands over his face, he felt exhausted and a lot older than he actually was.

He had to get out of this place, and everything it reminded him of and so rising from his office chair, he grabbed his coat and drove until he reached some small town he didn’t quite catch the name of, and then pulling into a parking space on the side of the road he spotted  a small coffee shop and wearily made his way inside.

He stood in line but he felt numb, and his mind was certainly elsewhere by the time he heard the barista ask him his order.

He looked panicked up at the order boards, and for some reason he couldn’t get his brain to work. He begged his brain for help but he realised with a startle that he must have said it out loud when a gentle hand reached for his arm.

“Are you alright?” you asked him gently.

“I can’t!” he was shaking his head gently “I have no idea what to order.”

“Any allergies to nuts?” you asked and he shook his head slowly.

“Two hazelnut lattes,” you told the barista and watched the man before you visibly relax, you had planned on simply getting your coffee to go and driving back out to your ranch, but in that instant your plans had changed and you knew you were going to sit with this terrified stranger until he no longer looked quite so terrified.

One sip of his coffee and his brown eyes locked with yours in concurrence.

“It’s good right?” you smiled gently, stirring the contents of your own cup and he hmmed in agreement.

“Thanks, by the way,” he said softly “back there I just sort of went blank and freaked out.”

“It happens,” you answered kindly and offered him a warm smile, that he returned wearily, but genuinely.

“Did you get lost on the highway?” you gently pressed and he looked at you questionly and you couldn’t help but smile, he was in expensive jeans and you were pretty sure his sweater was designer, you and everyone around you for that matter were in jeans, and yours were slightly faded you’d had them so long.

“I mean you’re dressed a little too well to be from anywhere around here.”

Catching your drift he chuckled slightly, “I guess you could say that I did get a little lost,” in more ways than one he thought bitterly and ran a hand over his face for good measure.

“Well then I guess of all places to get lost, I’m glad you washed up here. You’ve saved me from a horrendously boring afternoon.”

“Is that right?” he perked up ever so slightly “and why is that?”

You leaned in closer for emphasis, “you have saved me from an afternoon of mowing grass, and potting plants.”

Tony smiled, “You know that doesn’t sound so awful, it sounds quite therapeutic actually.”

“Ok now I really know you must be a city boy!” you chuckled and he looked at you with an amused expression on his face.

“You don’t know who I am?” he asked with a quirk of his head and you looked at him utterly perplexed, before shaking your head.

“Should I know?”

“No, no you shouldn’t,” he exclaimed and looked almost delighted that you didn’t, “My name is Tony,” he offered with a genuine smile and you couldn’t help but smile back, “y/n.”

“So what brought you out here to the middle of nowhere?” you tried gently and he looked at you for a moment as if he was sizing you up.

“I had to get away for a bit. Things were.. well everything’s sort of a mess really,” he looked so tired and so dejected, that your heart caught a little in your chest.

“Can these things be fixed?” you coaxed gently “If you try, can they be fixed?”

“I think so,” he answered with a pained expression.

“Then try,” you almost whispered “The only way to fail is by not trying and if whatever it is is making you this unhappy then you owe it to yourself to try.”

He didn’t answer for a moment and you thought maybe for a moment you had overstepped your mark.

“It’s just,” he began, but paused until he looked at your expectant expression and something about you, your aura, your whole being made him feel like it was safe to talk to you and he found himself increasingly wishing he could just offload everything he had been carrying for weeks upon you.

“What if you get hurt again?” you finished for him softly and he damn near almost choked up as he nodded to you.

“Am I that obvious?” he tried to joke but it fell flat.

You looked at him honestly for a moment “I would recognise that look in your eyes anywhere.”

“I’m just. so. tired,” he told you honestly “and I can’t face staying in that place any longer. It’s just too empty, so I hit the road and I just drove until I couldn’t drive anymore and here I am.”

“Well I’m glad of all the coffeeshops, in all the towns you passed that this was the one that you chose.”

“Me too,” he told you honestly.

A few moments of comfortable silence passed between you and when you looked up from your cup he was looking right at you, really looking at you for the first time since he had sat down and it made your cheeks heat up.

He opened his mouth to speak when his ringtone interrupted the moment and when he saw Rhodey’s name on the screen he panickly answered.

“Yes, I’ll be there as soon as I can,” he answer hurriedly and then rising from the table so quickly he almost knocked it over, you struggled to keep up with the sudden change of pace and as soon as he hung up he rounded on you in a rush and pulled you to him in a quick hug.

“I’m sorry I have to go, you’ve been so lovely and wonderful, but I have to go.”

You barely got a chance to answer him when he was rushing out the door and disappearing out of sight, and you collapsed back into your seat dazed, whispering “goodbye Tony,” under your breath and mourning the loss of a man you didn’t even know.

As you turned off the road into your driveway that evening, you were met by the head groundskeeper of the nature park you worked and lived at and you smiled because just like that your life was back to normal, almost as if you had never met a handsome stranger in the middle of your local coffeeshop only a few hours before.

“I thought you’d never get back,” he joked and you climbed out of your truck, pulling the various animal feeds you had purchased in town on your way home.

“Eliza had to mow the lawns so you’re officially in her bad books,” he joked and when you half smiled at him he patted you reassuringly, “I know it’s been tough, I know you’re really going through it right now, but hang in there. This place, the animals, all of us, we really need you.”

You smiled then genuinely, and he smiled back as he helped you carry some of the larger sacks up to the barn, and as the sun set your mind wandered back to Tony, you hoped he could mend whatever, whoever, was eating him up.

As for you, you would keep trying to do the same thing.

Tony lay awake listening to the silence. Can you even listen to silence he wondered, perhaps you could he decided after all. You definitely could if the sound of silence was what was keeping you awake. Right?

His mind wandered back to you for the thousandth time since he got back home..could he even call it home anymore?

What you had said to him about trying to fix things with Steve had struck a chord he didn’t even know he needed to hear, how had you known he was afraid of being hurt and why did he feel like you knew his pain a little too well? Why hadn’t he asked you that? Why hadn’t he caught onto that at the time?

Would he ever get a chance to ask you that now? 

Would he ever even see you again?

He turned over and sighed deeply, he was idiot for not taking your number, and now he couldn’t stop thinking about you, shutting his eyes one more time in a futile attempt to get some sleep, he vowed to himself to track you down again. He simply could not live the rest of his life without talking to you again, the only person who had seen straight through him in years. 

Getting out of bed he got up to throw some clothes into a small carry bag, he was going back to the small town he had accidentally stumbled upon earlier and he was going to find you. He had decided. 

Tagging:  @creideamhgradochas @sydsyd1874 @ifoundlove-x0vanessa0x @markandjackaremysuperheros @ravens-2nd-blog @knittingknerdy @shamvictoria11 @buckysberrie @assembletheimagines @jennifers-bread @dearthofequanimity @sneakingpixiejutsu @bovaria @fvckingavengers @angryschnauzer @beccaanne814-blog @wellthatsrandomkek @3brosangel @palaiasaurus64@hellomissmabel ​​ @mitra-k-w @nikkitia7@fantasticimpaladoctor @angel34jolly-blog @feelmyroarrrr @marvelingatthewonder @james-bionic-barnes @fabulous-dani @voidjillybean @candyrogers @sebseyesandbuckysthighs @pimpaladestiel @tinaferraldo @andhiseyesweregreen @frickin-bats @alwayssmilepretty @buckyywiththegoodhair  @pandarosita @iiharu-kunii  @givemethatgold @fandom-hoe101 @moreinfinite @lilasiannerd @buckyb-avengers @avengerofyourheart@flowercrownsandmetallicarms@littlemissglassgirl@mytasterpeculiar@angel34jolly-blog@movingonto-betterthings@captain-amelia-bradley@mizzzpink @dryerpet @puffedchoco @bigbadwolfhale @marvelgoateecollection @janvdyne @jaegers-and-kaijus @peoniesinmyhair @violeata @xxmusic13luverxx @pegausustheepic @itsagentromanoff @bellenuit45 @perrychastain @harrisbn   @s-acafst @fandom-writes @redroomproperty

If you would like to be added to, or removed from this list please, just let me know.

Also all feedback is greatly, greatly appreciated and food for my soul!

Headcanon time! (Spoiler ahead) 

Groot can grow flowers, right, so you can’t tell me that he doesn’t try and makes flower crowns for every last one of his friends.

Peter is the first “victim”, carrying the - sloppy, but heartfelt - flowercrown like it’s an actual crown. Rocket is about to laugh, but Groot looks so happy and proud that he can’t do it, he simply can’t so he shuts up and accepts his own crown. Peter starts snorting as soon as he sees the grumpy racoon with the pretty flowers on his head, and Rocket contemplates shooting him.

Gamora gets the most colorful crown out of it, thanking Groot with a kiss to his forehead for it.

Mantis is so happy about the flowers that Groot grows more for her, decorating her antennas, too. Little bug girl almost cries with happiness and the feelings of warmth and love around her.

Drax doesn’t really understand the meaning behind the flowers - they are fragile and will wilt. Wouldn’t it be better to gift something that will last forever? Upon hearing that, Peter helps him to dry and press the flower crown, so that he can keep it for as long as possible.

Kraglin, having just gotten his new fin, doesn’t really now how he’s supposed to wear it, and feels guilty when Groot looks disappointed. It’s Rocket who speaks up, sighing - “You guys are idiots, let me do that” - and helps Groot create a whole necklace of flowers, which Kraglin has to wear around his neck. (No buts there, the necklace stays).

Groot is proud of his work, but he’s really, really happy when the others collect tiny left over flowers and braid them into a mini-crown for Groot to wear.

“‘Cause we should match, right, Groot?” Peter asks as the tiny tree runs in circles, happily yelling “I am Groot, I am Groot!”

“I think he agrees with that one.”


AN: Here have some Damian love, since I don’t post about our smol bird enough. Also I worked Zatanna in, I’m so excited.

Prompt: For a request, how about Damian being left alone with his baby sister for the first time?

Requested by: @a-kattie-c96

Words: 1063

Damian would never admit it out loud, but in the back of his mind, buried way deep, where even the Martians couldn’t go, Damian admitted that he wasn’t good with change. He thrived on routine and order, and change messed that up. Locked down, even deeper than that, was the fact that he actually enjoyed being the youngest. Sure there were jokes about his height, but he knew that would change in time. And with how tall both his parents were, he knew he had nothing to worry about.

    This, however, was something to worry about. Pink and squishy, and too fragile for his own good, his new “sister” was a sitting duck to an array of things. Even more than that she had disrupted his family. His father hadn’t been on patrol in weeks, and his wife was constantly falling asleep in strange places. Not that he could blame the witch. The infant had kept them all up past what even they deemed a decent bedtime.

    In all honesty Damian had done his best to have little to do with her, and yet here he was; child-sitting. What made it even worse was that he was a last resort. Grayson and Drake were out on a mission, Father and the witch were at a charity ball, their first since before the intruder was born, and Todd was patrolling the streets. And here he was, sitting and staring at the infant.

    By the time seven o’clock rolled around he was certain that his entire family had made a much bigger deal out of this thing then they should have. She had been happily occupied in the swinging chair, sucking on her binky, and then the crying started. And on and on it went, until Damian was forced to admit that he needed help. And so he called in the only person he could.

    By the time they arrived Damian was ready to pull his hair out, or possibly cut off his ears. From the grin on John Kent’s face, he instantly regretted it. “Having a bit of trouble Damian?” Damian scowled. “Need a little help?”

    Damian was tempted to say yes, but at the thought the screaming just seemed to get louder until he finally yelled, “Yes. I need help just make it stop.”

    The smirk on John’s face would be something Damian would recall for the rest of his life, and he vowed to never give the boy the opportunity to make that face again.

    The next hour saw the child fed, burped, changed and bounced; but nothing Kent did seem to calm her down.

“Don’t you have one of these at home?” Damian yelled over the crying.

“Yes! But my mom is there, and she takes my little brother anytime he gets bad.”

Damian watched the boy bounce the infant for a bit, until John stuck his arms out, “You need to take her, the crying is too much for my ears.” Damian just stared at the boy, until he scowled and reluctantly took the infant into his arms.

John just winced and finally said, “I’ll be downstairs for a few minutes.” And just like that Damian was alone with the child again.

He tried to recall what Zatanna had done to calm the infant, but the screaming made it difficult. So Damian did what he always did in dire situations, he followed his instincts. Making sure her head was supported he began to rock her back and forth slowly, and then he began to sing.

It was an old lullaby that his mother had sung to him. A song she had used to get him to sleep, when his grandfather had been away. She had sung it softly, and close to his ear but it had been soothing.

And soon the crying stopped, until all that was left was his voice. He made sure to keep going until he finally sat down in the rocking chair. And as he finished the last verse, he took in the quiet of the room, and relaxed.

“You have a nice voice.”

Damian kept his eyes on the infant. She had a small smile on her face, and her hand kept reaching for air. “Both my parents can sing. My father is particularly good. I thought you went downstairs to escape the noise.”

John shrugged, “I could still hear it. Super hearing and all that. I got scared that something had happened.”

“The caterwauling just stopped.”

“Or she recognized she’s safe.”

Damian met his friends eyes, “Explain.”

John smiled, “You’ve spent the past two months writing me emails of complaints about her, I overheard our dads talking about you leaving the room anytime Ms. Zee came in, and you’ve been spending a lot of time at the station lately. You’ve had very little interaction with her, it’s safe to assume she didn’t feel safe with you.”

“Smart kid.”

John let out a sigh, “You’re an idiot. She’s your sister Damian. For someone so obsessed with blood, I figured you’d be all over her. Claiming she’s your sister and not your brothers’.”

    “That’s the problem. She’s blood. She’s not some orphan my father took in. She’s a legitimate child born to not only his wife but a woman my father loves.”

    John stared at his friend, “Doesn’t mean she’ll replace you Damian. If anything I think she’ll lean on you. Think of everything you could teach her, and do with her. Little siblings are ready made friends, at least that’s what my mom says.”

    “For a Pulitzer Prize winner your mother can say some stupid things sometimes.”

    John scowled and rolled his eyes, “And with that I say goodnight. I have my own banshee and family to get back to.”

    Damian said nothing, as his friend left. He simply stared down at his sister for a few moments before he began to lay down the rules, “If we’re going to make this sibling thing work we’re going to need to establish some things. First, I’m your favorite. We share blood, that’s a big thing. Second, don’t befriend a Kent, while reliable they’re often more trouble than they’re worth. Third, I’ll protect you from things until you’re three, then we start your training. After all, I’ll need a Robin someday. And no magic. We fight with our fists here, and you’re a Wayne so that includes you.”

anonymous asked:

Can you do 54 & 94 for Jeff? if possible, thanks!

I sure can! 

54. Why’s there a pregnancy test in the trash?

94. You’re an idiot. I married an idiot.

“Hey babe!” she exclaims as she enters the house, “We should go out for dinner tonight.”

She rounds the corner to see her husband of three years leaning against the back of the sofa with a perplexed look on his face. She tilts her head in confusion at the face he’s making, she can’t quite put her finger on what sort of emotion it’s supposed to convey.

Why’s there a pregnancy test in the trash?”he inquires, twiddling his fingers nervously.

“Why are you going through our trash?” she blinks in surprise. She was not aware that Jeff had recently taken up the hobby of dumpster diving. Specifically dumpster diving within their own home.

“I accidentally threw my wallet away with the leftover pizza box from a few days ago. I had to dig it out,” Jeff explains.

You’re an idiot,” she sighs, “I married an idiot.”

“Apparently you procreated with one, too,” he says hopefully.

“Well, I was gonna wait until dinner to tell you, which is why I wanted to go out tonight, but… I’m pregnant,” she squeals, clasping her hands together and bringing them to her mouth. 

“Really,” he beams, getting off the couch to embrace her, “You’re really pregnant?”

“Yes!” she jumps up and down in excitement.

“We’ve been trying for months,” he catches her in a hug, pressing a sweet kiss to her lips, then her nose, then her forehead.

“I know,” she grabs his face between her palms, “this is happening. It’s finally happening.”

“My baby is having a baby. Our baby,” he whispers, his eyes tearing up.

“You’re going to be such an amazing father, Jeff,” she whispers back, smiling so wide her cheeks are sure to ache later.

“And you’re going to be the absolute best mother. I hope the baby has your eyes,” he laughs, pressing his forehead against his wife’s.

She giggles, leaning up to kiss him again. He tightens his grip around her waist, pushing them as close together as humanely possible. They had wanted this more than anything, and they got it. They really got it.

“I hope the baby has your heart,” she whispers against his lips.

anonymous asked:

Prompt: Person A teases Person B about getting sleepy after having sex. As B is falling asleep, the last thing they say is “I’m going to marry your idiot ass.” A then gets flustered, pulls B tenderly into their arms and falls asleep together with B. Bonus: A asks B about what they said when they wake up. How B reacts is up to you.

Thanks for the prompt :) 

“You always get so sleepy,” Emma teases as she wraps her arms around Regina, “Is it because I wear you out so much?” 

Regina rolls her eyes, “I’m not even going to dignify that with a response.” 

“That’s totally a yes,” Emma replies as she grins at her girlfriend. 

Regina sighs sleepily, “You’re an idiot…and one day I’m going to marry your idiot ass.” 

The last words are said in a dazed sleepy drawl and leave Emma staring stunned. Marry? Did Regina mean it? Should she wake her up? Should she lay here and panic? 

Or should she wrap her arms around the woman she loves and question it all in the morning? 

Emma settles on the latter, blushing and a million thoughts racing through her mind as she lies beside Regina and attempts to sleep. 


For the first time in their lifetime Emma is the first to wake up. Truth be told she barely slept. Every time she attempted to close her eyes she kept replaying Regina’s sleepy words and wondering what they meant. 

Now, she’s simply lying on one side, watching Regina sleep and wondering what it would be like to wake up like this every morning. 

“You’re staring at me.” 

“I know…I’m working something out.” 


“Well you said you want to marry my idiot ass and I was just wondering what it would be like to wake up next to you every morning.” 

Regina raises a brow, “Oh…and what did you decide?” 

Emma beams at her as she rolls towards her, kissing Regina tenderly before replying, “That it would be the highlight of my morning every day for the rest of my life. What about you? Do you really want to marry my idiot ass?” 

Regina smiles, “I can’t believe I used those words.” 

“Believe it. You were sex sleepy.” 

“Ah that explains it…and I very much would like to marry your idiot ass, that is if you’d marry mine?” 

Emma grins wrapping her arms around Regina as she replies, “I would love to.”


“What happened?” Emmett asks. You sighs, “Some idiot decided to get in my personal space and wouldn’t leave me alone so I punched him in the face.” You were the new Cullen sibling but you were also still human. You were closest to Emmett and he took up the role as an overprotective brother. “Badass,” he smirks. You smile, “You’re an idiot.” He grins, “But you love me.”

Requested By: Anonymous