The Diary of a Teenage Senator
Being a regular teen girl is hard, but being a teen girl who’s also the senator of Texas?
Hi. I’m Ted Cruz, and this is my story.
Congress is the absolute worst! The speaker absolutely has it out for me. At least I have my best friends, Jeb Bush and John Kasich, with me. I don’t know what I would do without them.
There’s this one boy in Congress who is just sooooo dreamy. His name is Marco Rubio. *sigh* he’s so perfect, but he’s way out of my league. Sometimes, I doodle “Mr. Ted Rubio” in my notebook. I would just about die if anybody found out I did that.
This week, we’re having the presidential election. I’m running for the republican nominee, but guess who else is running? Marco! I hope this means I get to spend a lot of time with him. The new kid is running, too. His name is Donald, and he is so mean to me! He calls me Lyin’ Ted and says that my dad killed JFK. As if! Ugh, being a teenager is so hard.