sideshow performers

6

This is a significant part of how I make a living. I get to be a pirate who occasionally plays with fire (Staff in the first pic, 8-foot firewhip in the rest). This is my actual, for real day job. 

Exactly what 5 year old me said I would be when I grew up. Ok…I said I would be a pirate. The fire part is a bonus. 
Follow your dreams kids. Even the ridiculous ones can come true.  

3

Bill Durks suffered from a genetic disorder known as frontonasal dysplasia that made him appear to have two faces. Durks was not allowed to attend school as a child due to his appearance, and he was ostracized by the public and his family until he attended a sideshow fair. The showmen at the fair invited Durks to join them, and when he did he became “The Man With Three Eyes”. (His third, middle, eye did not actually exist, it was painted on for theatrical effect. In actuality he was blind in one eye, so he would be a one-eyed man.)

Due to his lack of an education, Bill Durks was illiterate and this lead to people taking advantage of him. Durks was well-liked though, and many other performers looked out for him and helped him. Eventually Bill Durks found love, when he was introduced to Mildred the Alligator-Skinned woman, another sideshow performer. Despite their appearances, the couple was very happy, and they stayed married until Mildred’s death in 1968. Bill Durks died in 1975.

Daddy A-Z: Johnny

Originally posted by withsuh

Disclaimer: I couldn’t find the original poster this came from, but I got this from philanddanxreader, I didn’t come up with this. 

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A = Announcement.- How do you tell him and the world that you’re expecting?
I feel like Johnny and his s/o would be that annoyingly cute couple that does elaborate birth announcements that go viral. Telling Johnny would probably be along the lines of doing it on a holiday and giving him a present that’s like…baby shoes and he’s just looking at you like ‘why the fuck did you give me doll clothes’ until it smacks him in the face that 'these are….oh fuck’ and he’s immediately crying. Telling the world and the members would probably be lowkey troll-ish. Like just dropping hints here and there like, “me and mama are going shopping, but i dont think these clothes will fit either of us”, or walking around with an obvious ‘#1 dad!’ shirt and waiting for someone to ask wtf that’s about so he can just smuggly reply ‘lol yeah, imma be a dad.’

B = Books.- Did he read the books?
Johnny read a few. More likely he read the books you bought. With Johnny, I feel like he’s one of the guys that takes a mommyDaddy and Me class, babysitting, things like that to actually experience taking care of a baby, rather than reading about it. 


C = Cuddles.- Who cuddles the baby more? 
Giant tree dad Johnny is 100% glued to the kid. The majority of the first few months, Johnny doesn’t let the baby out of his sight, his tiny offspring is always in his arms, he’s going to be the parent you walk in the room and see him passed out in the rocking chair with his baby on his chest, sleeping.


D = Daddy.- His reaction to being called Daddy and it setting in. 

Being big dumb Johnny, I swear he’s going to constantly be wearing his ‘dad’ shirt, so the entire world knows he’s a dad. But the moment someone actually calls him Dad, he’s just going to end up a big, dumb, smiley mess and giggling like ‘yeah, im dad, woo’

E = Empty.- Who goes to the store when you guys run out of supplies?
You can bet your ass that Johnny’s going to have one of this kid pouch things that you strap your kid in to like a bulletproof vest. He’s done strapped himself and the bub in and heading off to the store before you can even tell him there’s no milk. He knows. He’s on it. 


F = Feeding time- Who does feeding time?

Johnny, he’s like a master on getting baby ‘whines a lot’ to eat. But then again, Johnny ends up making a bigger mess feeding the babe than the baby making a mess eating. Better get a rag.

G = Grumpy baby. - Who is better at dealing with a grumpy baby? 

Johnny is the king of getting a pouty baby to laugh, with his dumb faces and soothing voice. All Johnny really has to do is talk near the baby, and instantly, it’s like sunshines and rainbows touched the kid and the baby is as happy as can be again.

H = How?- how many kids does he want?
I feel like Johnny is more of a less is more, kind of guy. He’ll probably be the one to only want one, or two at the most, just to keep it a small, and warm family. Easier to keep track of when you’re at Disney Land every other weekend. No kids will be lost.


J = Jokes.- best dad joke? 

“What do you call someone with no body and no nose?
Nobody nose XD”

K = Kisses.- His favorite place to kiss the baby.
Johnny’s such a nose kiss kind of dad, and you know it. Whether it’s with his s/o or his bub, he’s giving those good ol’ eskimo kisses, it’s his thing.


L = Little.- How he feels when he holds the baby for the first time.

I bet you anything the first thought he has when the baby is put in his arms is ‘fuck….its little.’ And then probably cries, because it’s so little, and cute, and you and him made it, and fuck he’s a parent holy shit.

M = Mommy.- what does he call you? 

Johnny’s so Daddy and Mommy kind of dad. He’s definitely getting you matching shirts, mugs, stickers for your car, everything. 
Mommy and Daddy. 
<3

N = Nappies.- who deals with the really bad ones? 
This will probably be the only thing Johnny argues over in the relationship; who has to deal with the poops. 9/10 it ends with rock, paper, scissors, and 8/10 times he loses and has to deal with the stinky diaper.

O = Onesies- Who likes to dress the baby in ridiculous outfits? 
Johnny dresses pretty well, I think? I don’t think he’d be the one to make the baby look like a sideshow performer, that’ll probably be on your hands lol.


P = Pet names- names he calls the baby. 

Dammit I’m hurting myself, fuuuuuuck. Johnny’s a fcking giant, you know he’s going to call his kid his ‘little one’ you know it, I know it, the frog in my fish tank knows it. 

Q = Questions.- How many questions does he ask the nurse? 

I don’t think Johnny will ask too many questions, if any at all, after going through the classes and stuff. I think he’d be more inclined to ask questions about his s/o’s well being and how to help minimize the after birth stress and pain.

R = Rely- what is the biggest thing you rely on each other for? 

Most cases it’s emotional support. I feel like you’d rely on each other to just remind one another that this is the hardest part, and it’s going to get better. Johnny’s certainly the comedic relief in the relationship, so he’ll be cracking jokes when you’re ready to give up, and comfort you, and the same to him.

S = Sleep duty. - who gets up when it’s really late at night? 

Johnny’s such the perfect husband material that it hurts my soul. He’s definitely the one that gets up at night more often, it’s probably along the lines of 80:20 on who gets up more. He’s determined to give you as much sleep as possible, and after all, he is the master at calming his baby down.

T = Trepidation.- fears as a new parent. 
I feel like his biggest fear as that he’s not going to be taking his role seriously. It’s a stressful time, and jokes are his coping mechanism, so he’ll probably be terrified that he’s acting like a clown more than a father, and while he is doing the absolute most, he’s afraid he’s not pulling his weight while he’s joking instead.


U = Ultra sounds.- His reactions to the ultrasounds.
Lord knows the water works cut lose hard when he saw the blurry image of his baby wiggling around on the screen. He practically had his face pressed against the screen, and sobbing about how ‘that’s our baby! we made that! holy shit we’re having a baby’


V = Values.- what is the most important value he wants to teach your child.

Although he doesn’t show it, I’m sure he’s seen the hate towards him, and he either doesn’t let it get to him at all, or he’s just holding it together well. I feel like he’d be one to instill the ‘love yourself’ thing in his kid. Because honestly, if you’re confident in yourself, no one can knock you down.

W = Water.- Who gives the babe the baths? 
Because Johnny’s usually the one that made the mess, I feel like he gives the baby baths more, and it’s more like a joint bath. ‘fuck, kid puked on me. well, might as well kill two birds with one stone, lets go baby pukes a lot, bath time’


X = X-mas- what do you guys plan for the holidays? 

Holidays are so fun with Johnny and you know it. He’s probably got you all wearing cheesy family sweaters, and sent Christmas cards to everyone. Holidays with Johnny are those extremely cute family movies, it’s all warm and fuzzy and full of love.

Y = Yelling.- How many fights do the two of you get in? 

Again, I don’t think Johnny would fight with you over anything with the baby, besides the chocolate diapers. He’s relatively calm, and even when he’s mad, he’ll fume on his own, rather than blowing up at you.

Z = Zoo- How crazy is the house after the birth?
It’s literally that: a zoo. There’s applesauce on the ceiling, there’s toys clogging the toilet, is that Johnny’s puke on the rug or the baby’s, god only knows. I’m pretty sure you’ll need to hire a full time maid, or let Taeyong be your house mate to clean that mess up, good lord…

American Horror Story Characters Based On Real People

Season 1: Elizabeth Short aka The Black Dahlia - Mena Suvari guest-starred on the very first season of American Horror Story as Elizabeth Short, the woman who would become infamously known as The Black Dahlia. Though parts of her story were fabricated for the show, The Black Dahlia murder is very much real. Short was a 22-year-old aspiring actress who was brutally murdered in 1947. Her body was chopped in half, and her killer carved up the sides of her mouth, giving her what’s known as a “Glasgow smile.” Her murderer was never identified. 

Season 1: The Nurse Murders and the Richard Speck Case - One of the story lines from the first season revolves around a couple of nurses who are killed in the Murder House. Though the nurses on the show (played by guest stars Rosa Salazar and Celia Finkelstein) aren’t based on individuals, Ryan Murphy has said their murders are inspired by the Richard Speck massacre in 1966. Speck, a seaman from Texas, broke into a Chicago dorm filled with nurses and viciously tortured, raped, and killed eight of them in one night. The sequence in the show is light compared to what actually happened. 

Asylum: Kit and Alma Walker and Barney and Betty Hill - Remember Asylum’s Kit and Alma Walker? According to producers, they were inspired by a couple named Barney and Betty Hill, some of the first people to ever claim to have been abducted by aliens in 1961. Their experience was widely publicized and became a bestselling book called The Interrupted Journey and a 1975 TV movie The UFO Incident. Just like Kit and Alma, Barney and Betty were a mixed-race couple, an integral part of the story line on Asylum. 

Asylum: Anne Frank - Franka Potente starred on several episodes of Asylum as a mental patient who insists that she is Anne Frank, the 15-year-old girl who famously documented her horrific experience during the Holocaust before her death. It’s not conclusive whether or not Charlotte truly is Frank, but she does make a pretty compelling case. The American Horror Story character remains one of the most tragic and puzzling parts of the series to this day. 

Coven: Madame Delphine LaLaurie - A handful of main characters from Coven were based on real people, but none as chilling as Madame Delphine LaLaurie. Portrayed by Kathy Bates on the show, LaLarie was a prominent New Orleans socialite in the 1800s. She was discovered to have tortured and killed many of her slaves in her “Chamber of Horrors,” and her house is still said to be haunted. 

Coven: Papa Legba - Whether Papa Legba is “real” or not is up for interpretation, but the Coven character, played by guest star Lance Reddick, is based on a popular legend. In voodoo culture, he is the intermediary between the living and the dead. Papa Legba is both a good and bad figure, controlling who communicates between the worlds, and in American Horror Story’s case, sentencing some to live in their own personal hells. 

Coven: Marie Laveau - Angela Bassett came aboard Coven as Marie Laveau, the ancient voodoo queen of New Orleans. In reality, Laveau was a revered woman in the city between the 1820s and 1860s. She practiced black magic, and just as she is on the show, she was a hairdresser on the side. She was known for being a nurse and a healer, and people still visit her grave to see if she’ll grant them wishes. 

Coven: The Axeman of New Orleans - Danny Huston’s Coven character, The Axeman, was a real person - though we still don’t know his identity. Between 1818 and 1819, a series of murders were committed around the New Orleans area. The killer used axes or straight razors owned by the residents of the houses he broke into, and, as seen on the show, he even threatened to kill anyone not playing jazz music on one particular night. 

Freak Show: Pepper and Schlitze Surtees - One of the many Freak Show characters to have been inspired by a real person, Pepper (and her husband, Salty) was inspired by Schlitze Surtees. Known as Schlitzie the Pinhead, he was an early 1990s sideshow performer with microcephaly, a neurodevelopmental disorder that causes an unusually small brain and skull. He had the cognisance of a 3-year-old and could only speak in single-syllable words. He is mostly known now because of his part in the 1932 film Freaks. 

Freak Show: Edward Mordrake - Wes Bentley appears int he two-part Halloween episode of Freak Show as Edward Mordrake, a man with an evil face on the back of his head. Mordrake was a real person who lived in the 1800s. According to books, he had an unusual deformity: a small face on the back of his head. Mordrake committed suicide at 23, and unlike on the show, he probably doesn’t go around to freak shows on Halloween, killing its performers. 

Freak Show: Jimmy Darling and Grady Franklin Stiles, Jr - Though many performers with ectrodactyly, aka Lobster Claw Syndrome, were prevalent throughout freak-show history, Grady Franklin Stiles, Jr. is clearly a large influence for Jimmy Darling. Born in Pittsburgh in 1937, Stiles was part of a whole family of people who had the condition. He was forced to become a sideshow act at a young age and became an abusive alcoholic - which seems to be the direction Jimmy is headed. He murdered his daughter’s fiancé in 1978, and then Grady himself was gunned down by a neighbor in 1993. 

Freak Show: Twisty the Clown and John Wayne Gacy - There have been a lot of clown killers throughout history, but none as infamous as John Wayne Gacy. At heart, Twisty the Clown is just an extremely confused and misguided murderer, but Gacy was cold-blooded. His stage name was Pogo the Clown, and between 1972 and 1978, he raped and killed at least 33 young men. He died by lethal injection in 1994, leaving behind a series of haunting self portraits. 

Freak Show: Dot and Bette Tattler and Violet and Daisy Hilton - Though conjoined twins Dot and Bette are quite unique, they’re probably based on a pair of sisters by the name of Violet and Daisy Hilton. Born in England in 1908, the twins were fused at the pelvis. They came to San Francisco in 1915, and by the ‘20s, they were successfully performing in vaudeville shows alongside Charlie Chaplin. Following success on stage, their professional lives took a downturn, and they eventually ended up working at a grocery store. Their lives are the subject of a documentary called Bound by Flesh: The Story of Violet and Daisy Hilton. 

Hotel: Mr. March and H.H. Holmes - H.H. Holmes is often referred to as America’s first serial killer. He was profiled in the bestseller The Devil in the White City, which tells of Holmes’s technique of hiding his victims in the walls of the building he was constructing. While Mr. March isn’t a direct portrayal, he’s certainly inspired by the killer. 

Hotel: Aileen Wuornos - Series veteran Lily Rabe guest starred as Aileen Wuornos, the serial killer who was portrayed by Charlize Theron in the 2003 drama Monster. Wuornos killed seven men while working as a prostitute between 1989 and 1990. She was convicted and later executed by lethal injection in 2002. 

Hotel: Richard Ramirez - Also known as the Night Stalker, Ramirez (played by Anthony Ruivivar) went on a two-year rampage in California in the ‘80s. He killed at least 13 people and tortured many more. 

Hotel: Jeffrey Dahmer - Seth Gabel played the notorious Jeffrey Dahmer for the “Devil’s Night” episode of Hotel. Dahmer is one of the most well-known serial killers in American history, having murdered at least 17 boys and men. He was also known as the Milwaukee Cannibal, as he raped, dismembered, and eventually ate his victims. 

Hotel: John Wayne Gacy - While Gacy inspired Twisty the Clown, John Carroll Lynch returned to American Horror Story to play the real deal on Hotel. 

THE CURIOSITY OF SCHLITZIE

Little is known about Schiltzie’s life prior to joining the circus, but he became a popular attraction in carnival sideshows in the 20’s and 30’s. Born with a condition called microcephaly (pejoratively known as “pinhead”) , he had an unusually small brain and small skull, and suffered from moderate to severe mental retardation, but he had an exuberant and sociable personality, and loved to sing, dance and be the center of attention, which made him a popular attraction. He even made appearances in a few movies. As was common amongst sideshows at the time, responsibility for his care passed from one carnival to another as shows traded attractions with each other, but by most accounts, Schiltzie was well cared for and treated throughout his performing years. 

Journey back to the edge of darkness at any time at alveryscottkent.tumblr.com but don’t stay too long by yourself - sometimes this place gets creepy

anonymous asked:

I'm trying to design a permafusion, but I don't want to give them the usual four eyes or arms. Do you have any ideas for an unusual quantity of limbs that doesn't resort to the usual without looking too showy or strange?

If you’re not too queasy about it I’d recommend looking at old sideshow performers of the ‘freak show’ era or medical anomalies for ideas.
Extra legs are cool if you can do them right, kinda tricky… for something a little more subtle, extra mouth hasn’t been done in canon aside from Alexandrite’s hidden one?

When I die don’t do all this somber shit. Hold my wake at a bar with a mechanical bull. Hire a bunch of sideshow performers to breathe fire and juggle knives over my corpse. Bring that girl or guy you kinda like but haven’t had the nerve to ask out, then make out like teenagers in the bathroom. Stuff my pockets full of match heads and smoke over the pine box I’m in. Lay glitter bomb traps for unsuspecting mourners. Carve “Pounded That Puss” into my headstone with a knife. Fill a kiddie pool with money and light it on fire in front of the mayor’s office. Just please, when I die, don’t be fucking meloncholy.

Photo Spotlight: Rosalind Cash in classic horror

(Rosalind as “Lisa”, the survivor of apocalyptic bio-warfare, in the 70′s horror classic, The Omega Man)

(Rosalind as ‘Snakewoman’, the woman who controls a misfit band of sideshow performers with magic, in the Vincent Price horror anthology, From A Whisper To A Scream.)


This is MY carnival! I own it! And everything in it.

I own EVERYTHING. I own the tears you weep and the blood you shed!


Rosalind Cash in one of my FAVORITE horror movies from the 90s, Tales From The Hood, as the mysterious “Dr. Cushing”–who performs a terrifying experiment on a young gang member.

You’ve got to take responsibility to WAKE UP! You’ve got to take responsibility to break this chain!



Sophisticated and charismatic, Rosalind Cash brought serious style to her roles. But her horror work is especially my favorite! As far as I’m concerned, she goes down as giving one of the best performances in horror cinema ever, in the legendary flick about man vs. mutants, The Omega Man.

Giving depth and a subtlety to her characters, I feel she was one of the most brilliant and underrated actresses of the 20th century. She was superb as a determined survivor of a hellish landscape in Omega Man and in Tales From The Hood, she closed out an impressive career with one hell of a punch. As a doctor who decides to perform a mind-altering experiment with an inner-city murderer, she hits all the right notes in a symphony of tension, power, and dread. It’s the most trippy segment in a fantastically surreal anthology of terror, and explores with a unique depth, racism, classism and the rage of the oppressed. Rosalind delivers every line, every beat, with a fire you’ll not often see in horror and you’ll not soon forget.

Her performances in these horror films are haunting and enigmatic–they lingered in my mind long after the end credits. Phenomenal actress, phenomenal talent!

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Prince Randian (sometimes misspelled Rardion or Randion; ca. 1871 – December 19, 1934), also known as The Snake Man, The Living Torso, The Human Caterpillar and a variety of other names was an American performer with tetra-amelia syndrome and a famous limbless sideshow performer of the early 1900s, best known for his ability to roll cigarettes with his lips. He was reportedly brought to the United States by P.T. Barnum in 1889 and was a popular carnival and circus attraction for 45 years. Prince Randian can be seen in the 1932 film Freaks.

The X-Files

This list was submitted by Hilary Brown!

The X-Files is a science fiction show that ran on Fox from 1993-2002. It chronicles the investigations of FBI agents Fox Mulder and Dana Scully who explore unexplained cases of paranormal and extraterrestrial activity. Mulder is a fervent believer in the paranormal, and is obsessed with finding his sister who had vanished when Mulder was a teenager. Convinced his sister was abducted by aliens and that there is a massive government conspiracy to hide the existence of said aliens, Mulder will stop at nothing to blow the lid off of the government coverup and bring back his sister. Scully is assigned to Mulder as his partner, originally to report back to their superiors about Mulder’s activities, and to debunk his work. She is level-headed and skeptical, and believes that many of these “paranormal” phenomena have scientific explanations.

Overall, X-Files episodes can be divided into two categories: mythology episodes, which are part of the overall arc about aliens and government conspiracies, and “monsters-of-the-week” episodes which are stand-alone episodes. In theory, one could only watch the mythology episodes and still get a killer story, but there are some really great stand-alone episodes that shouldn’t be missed. For categorization purposes, I’ve broken each season down into which episodes to skip, which episodes are part of the mythology, and which episodes are particularly notable. It bears worth mentioning that The X-Files ran 9 season, which was about 2 more than it needed to. Show creator Chris Carter believed the show’s 7th season would be the last, and most fans and critics agree that it could have stopped there. Seasons 2-6 are arguably the strongest.

Episodes skipped: 40 out of 202.

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Johnny Eckhardt was born on August 27th 1911 at his parents home in Baltimore, Md. He was one of two twins. The other brother, Robert, was born a normal, healthy child. Johnny, though healthy, was born with no lower half. His body stopped just below the ribs. “Oh my lord, he’s a broken doll.” cried one of the midwives as Johnny came out.

However, in his 79 years on this earth Johnny Eck (his name was shortened by his first manager) accomplished more than most people with legs. He was a sideshow performer, artist, photographer, magician, Punch and Judy operator, expert model maker, race car driver, swimmer, gymnist, actor, train conductor, traveler and all around Renaissance man…

All that and he only reached a height of 18 inces tall!

He never let his lack of legs prevent him from attempting anything he dreamed up. Someone once asked him if he wished he had legs? “Why would I want those? Then I’d have pants to press.” was his reply.

With that healthy attitude and the sunny disposition that everybody loved, it is no wonder why he led such a full and happy life.

3

Grady Franklin Stiles Jr. was born on June 26th 1937, with a physical deformity called Ectrodactyly. Also referred to as, Lobster Claw Syndrome, Ectrodactyly is the absence or deformity of one or more of the middle digits on the hand or foot, giving a “claw-like” appearance. Due to his deformity, Grady was unable to walk, so he utilized his hands and arms for locomotion, resulting in impressive upper body strength. Grady’s father was a sideshow performer who was also born with Ectrodactyly and he incorporated Grady into his show with a traveling circus. As an adult, Grady was married twice and had four children, two of which had Ectrodactyly. Grady, still doing work with a traveling circus, marketed him and his two children as, “The Lobster Family”. Unfortunately, Grady developed and alcohol problem, which would lead to violence and abuse toward his family members. In 1978, Grady’s 17 year old daughter, Donna, informed him that she was pregnant and that she planned to run away with her boyfriend and get married. Donna was not actually pregnant, but she fabricated this in order to gain support for her marriage. The night before the wedding, Grady requested to have a conversation with his daughter’s fiancé, where he shot the man twice with a shot gun, resulting in his untimely death. Donna later explained that she returned to the horrific scene, her father was sitting on the porch smiling, when he told her, “I told you I would kill him.” Grady was convicted of third degree murder, but he did not serve any prison time. There were no state institutions that were capable of caring for him, so instead, he received 15 years probation. In 1989 he remarried his first wife, Mary, and began a new life, free from alcohol and violence. Grady abstained from alcohol for two weeks, but then relapsed into his old ways, becoming more abusive than ever. Mary and her son from a previous marriage, Harry, decided to pay sideshow performer, Chris Wyant, to kill Grady for $1500. On November 29th 1992, Grady was shot and killed.

Miniature City of Massive Proportions Pt. 1

As requested by Anonymous and aided with an imagine from @imaginexhobbit

(Part 2, Part 3)

Fili x Human!DragonTamer!Reader

Warnings: Food mention. Alcohol mention. Clown mention. Circus. Burn mention.

Word count: 4,475

Notes: Considering how HARD I got into this one, I went and decided to take it in volumes. Here’s part one!


“Come one! Come all!” you shout from the bally into the milling crowd waiting for entry into the Miniature City of Massive Proportions. “Come and see with your own eyes marvelous spectacles and beguiling sights! Illusions and acrobats and delights galore! Enchanting views from ceiling to floor! Games, riddles, jesters, Elves that fly! Tamed beasts of any and all sizes –“

“Oh, my!” exclaims a woman close to you, inadvertently finishing your rhyme and you chuckle.

“That’s right, ma'am,” you say and those immediately surrounding you break into laughter, too. “All you need do is pay the small entry fee and these fascinations are yours to see! Please oblige this humble performer and form an orderly queue and we will more than gladly cater to you! Have no worries, refreshments are just inside to slake your curious appetite! We will take great care of you, guaranteed, or may I turn into ash as my Darlings do breathe!”

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

You honestly sound like a fictional character. The kind that people would say is unrealistic because they're too bizarre and cool

I think everybody is unrealistically bizarre and cool. Hell, I think the fact that we’re alive at all is unrealistically bizarre and cool. And I think that you can take any person on the planet and make them sound weird when you break it down into jobs and hobbies and collections and interests and all of their best stories.

I have a friend who hosts a public access program about vintage horror films, and organizes these huge zombie walks in the city, and also she’s the mall Santa photographer.

I have a friend who recently released a country album, and also she’s a faerie who designs wrestling gear.

I have a friend who went to school to be a mortician and then joined the military, and a friend who dropped out of MIT to be a sideshow performer, and a friend who lives in the woods and makes soap, and a friend who teaches Shakespeare at a university and plays the trumpet in a ska band, and a friend with a ghost hunting show on YouTube who’s a summer camp counselor.

Weird is all about who you’re around, is what I’m saying.

For example, I’m fascinated by people who choose to be dentists. No, really. I think about them a lot.

Because what an odd thing it must be, to be the sort of person who goes to school for teeth.

And stamp collectors! People collect stamps! What the fuck, man.

And sometimes there are even people who do both! Like, living beings with thoughts in their heads and beating hearts who just dig around in strangers’ mouths all day and then go home and look at their mail stickers and have a great time with it.

And isn’t it weird how almost every male history teacher is also a huge jock? Or how there’s a 90% chance that if someone likes Star Trek and Renaissance festivals, they also probably like hardcore BDSM? Or how there are people who reach a point where so many people like them that they can make money posting videos of themselves eating Pop Tarts on the internet? What the fuckkk.

This… This answer got away from me.

Uhm.

Thank you?