shutting right the hell up

Inter-House Friendships #4
  • *watching a scary movie*
  • Hufflepuff: *curled in a blanket burrito with just their eyes visible*
  • Gryffindor: *shoveling popcorn into their mouth with eyes glued to the screen*
  • Slytherin: *trying desperately to keep cool but is halfway into Hufflepuff's lap*
  • Ravenclaw: *flails wildly when scary things happen and accidentally kicks everyone at least twice*

idk if this has been done yet, but Yuuri and Victor would definitely play the floor is lava, and it’s just great

  • Victor comes across it one day because of Phichit’s instagram and decides to play it with Yuuri
  • (Phichit was playing with Leo and Guang one day, making short compilation videos of every time Phichit yelled “the floor is lava”. In one video Guang was caught jumping onto Leo’s back, while Leo runs and attempts to hold onto a tree. They both fall before it’s deemed safe, and Phichit can be heard losing it when the camera zooms in on the two who are laying there)
  • It’s harmless when Victor first does it. It just mostly involves a confused Yuuri who just looks at victor and questions if he’s recording. Victor tells him twice more that the floor is lava, and finally Yuuri gets it, taking 3 seconds to climb onto the nearest table.
  • Victor does this 3 more times before Yuuri starts doing it back
  • When Yuuri does it, they’re at a meet, and he totally does not say it loudly into a mic for everyone to hear.
  • (Yuuri actually does)
  • “The floor is lava” is all that it takes for people to start panicking. Victor is panicking. The camera man is panicking, Yurio is confused, a little scared and a little angry at the circumstances. He doesn’t understand. However, everyone who does know what’s going on are climbing onto everything and onto each other, and Victor can be found koala latching onto a pole.
  • Yuuri totally does not comment on it when they’re back home
  • (he does)
  • Because of this event, the video editors had to ask if news networks wanted this edited out, but the people were like “keep it.” and they did.
  • That one video gets all over the internet btw and from that one video, Yurio becomes a meme:
  • Whenever they’re at home, Yuuri will come into the room saying that the floor is lava when Victor is doing whatever, and if Makkachin is there, he will include him, encouraging him to get on the couch with him
  • Yuuri loves watching the videos where Victor involves Makkachin, and giving him treats when Makkachin get’s onto the couch before Victor does
    • End.
  • D.va: The world is on the brink of going boom-boom. This is our most desperate hour. Unless we make a stand, here and now, we gonna die. Now… ROLL FOR INITIATIVE!!
  • Doomfist: What’s “initiative?”
  • Mercy: It says which order we attack in.
  • Doomfist: I punch the initiative.
  • Soldier 76: What’s going on? I wasn’t paying attention.
  • Mercy: D.va, why don’t you start over?
  • D.va: Ahem. Welcome, fine ladies, to your first session of the most coolestest game in the world: Bunkers & Badasses. As your Bunker Master, I will be spinning today’s tale of fantasy and-
  • Soldier 76: Wait why the hell are we playing this kid’s game?
  • D.va: Oh you know maybe because SHUT THE HELL UP JACKY!!
  • Mercy: D.va! She’s right though, shut up.
  • D.va: While our Overwatch buddies beat the slamma jamma out of that Talon informant downstairs, I thought we could play a game. Now, pick your characters. You got the Mechromancer, the Commando, the Siren-
  • Doomfist: Siren. Dibs. My Siren’s name is Doomfist, and she is the prettiest.
  • Mercy: D.va, why don’t we just start now and figure that out later?
  • submitted by nordinthelich
Client is every kind of -ist. Boss isn't having it, gets one client fired, his replacement replaced.

This happened a few weeks ago, and I’m still in awe of my boss, who made it happen. I work as a private security officer for a small but well respected company. The higher-ups are masters at getting contracted for big-name clients and they treat us employees very well.

We had been subcontracted by a larger security firm to run event security for a certain tech company’s event during a certain famous film festival. Some serious money was being thrown around to make this event happen, I was told $75k per day just to rent out the venue, $6 Million worth of equipment, the list goes on. It was a big deal. Our client’s representative, who we’ll call Paulie, was a New York native with a thick Brooklyn accent and wouldn’t have been out of place on the set of The Sopranos. He’d been flown in from his base of operations just to oversee this event. It soon became clear that he was going to cause problems. First off, the agreement between my firm and our client was to provide asset protection, meaning we were to make sure that none of the expensive, yet highly portable electronic equipment went missing. Yet as soon as we got there, Paulie decided to ignore all that and had us working the doors as glorified bouncers. All our previous instructions were to be ignored and Paulie was God. This pissed us off a bit, as we had picked our people with unobtrusive asset protection in mind, but whatever, we’re professionals and we’ll roll with it. Second, Paulie was an a**hole. Everything we did was wrong somehow, even when we did exactly what he wanted us to, we were doing it wrong. He’d berate the poor officer right in front of everyone. He’d change our instructions on a whim and get mad at us for not complying with the new instructions before everyone had a chance to be informed. Third, and arguably worst, Paulie was an -ist of every type. Racist, ageist, sexist, he was the worst. We brought in female officers and he’d inevitably stick them in the most out-of-the-way posts he could to make sure they didn’t have to interact with the tech people. Same went for every officer Paulie thought was over 35. Since we were working 12 hour shifts, we tried to rotate everybody through every post, but he’d take over the rotation and stick the “old” and female officers out of sight. It got to the point where we were seriously considering quitting the contract and we NEVER do that.

Enter my boss. Let’s call him Rick. Rick is ex military and his thing is he Gets Shit Done. Rick, like several of us, is a licensed Private Investigator as well as a Security Officer. Rick is borderline OCD when it comes to keeping records. Rick has hidden cameras. Rick wore a wire and recorded a lot of Paulie’s shit. That shit then hit the fan when Rick passed off supervision of the site to me for the day and went to a meeting with the higher-ups from my company and a conference call with the higher-ups from Paulie’s company, let’s call them D*cks and A**holes Inc, or D&A. The next afternoon, the A in D&A showed up and took Paulie into one of the rooms the tech people had been using for demos earlier that day and spent over an hour yelling at him. One of our people, a female officer with 15 years of experience, who had worked security at the freaking PENTAGON, and who had been shoved in a corner nevertheless heard the whole thing go down, as she was posted outside the door. According to her, Paulie said several stupid things, but the one that stuck out was, “These guys are weak! They’re bringing in freaking GIRLS…!” before being told to shut the hell up. Paulie was fired right there and escorted off the property. The next day, those of us who hadn’t been there to see it were told the whole story and we reveled in the fact that we wouldn’t have to deal with Paulie anymore. Morale, which had been at historically low levels, shot through the roof.

This would be a good place to stop the story, but as the infomercials say, “Wait! There’s more!”

A took over. Remember him? The A**hole in D*cks & A**holes, Inc? He was worse, in different ways. He was just as bad as Paulie, but he was much, much more subtle about it. And, I can’t stress this enough, he was an A**HOLE.

He tried to get me fired for talking to the client, the tech company’s people. The event was winding down by this point, and I had asked the guy in charge of the tech people a question about continuing security needs. Turns out, the tech company was taking their stuff out of the demo rooms and therefore wouldn’t need those rooms secured anymore, so we didn’t need an officer for that post anymore. A was livid that I had spoken to the client without his say-so and that I had “cost us THOUSANDS!” by so doing, which was total bullshit. A went to Rick and yelled at him about it, too. Rick, however, had my back and just shrugged the whole thing off.

This is going long, so I’ll sum up. Rick was eventually forced to employ the same tactics he had used against Paulie and another conference call was made. Turns out, D&A had been bought out by another company, and since A was a founder, he didn’t get fired, but he did get sent home and yet another guy from the bigger company was flown out to oversee the last few days. That guy was pretty cool and we had no further problems.

The icing on the cake is that the tech company had seen all the bullshit my people had been put through and had been impressed with us. We’ve been asked to provide security services for their next event.

4

For the people spreading LIES saying Lili Reinhart is a homophobe/ homophobic. What the actual fuck??
You people just looovveee making up stories and spreading lies!!!

All you have to do is take a look at Lili’s instagram to SEE that she is clearly not homophobic! It’s basically a shrine to gay rights!!!

Now shut the hell up!!!

Expedition to Sol2487-3 Pt.3

Still shocked from the total annihilation of our ship and half of our crew, whereas another one was grievously wounded and at death’s door, we retreatet into the field again.
That pitchblack winged avatar of doom wasn’t alone anymore. Hordes of them circled in the sky and stalked through the shredded pieces of our ship, scavenging the mortal remains of our crew, of our comrades, of our friends.
And there was nothing we could do about it. Even with full force, our weapons would barely harm even one of those sick bastards, let alone drive the whole flock away. So all we could do was accept, retreat and reconsider our situation - or going nuts, like Üprrkl, a Pjörecian scientist under command of Dr. Proaxl.
“We’re done for! We all gonna die! Abandon all hope, for there is no chance we’re gonna make it! Our ship - gone! Our supplies - gone! Our respiratory systems - at 35%! Our…”
It was my first mate Xato Nexgrra, who attended to him. Calmly he put his weapon away, crawled over to the shivering, babbling formerly rational man. He sat down before him, showed an understanding glimpse. And hit him full throttle with all fifteen of his whip like limbs right in his face.
“SHUT! THE HELL! UP!”
The scientist, completly taken by surprise, obeyed speechless while rubbing his left face knob.

Dr. Proaxl made a harrumphing noise - how exactly, without a throat, has kept me riddling ever since. I apologised to her.
“I’m afraid one of the ship operating squad under my command laid a hand - or fifteen - on one of your squad members. It shall not repeat.”
“Oh, you shouldn’t apologise. I wanted to thank you, Xato Nexgrra, for I would have slapped him myself if I had arms. It’s no help giving in to despair. We have to focus on surviving, and first in securing treatment for Loxxar Kraes. We were able to stop the bleeding for now, but he indeed won’t make it if we can’t prevent an inflammation of the wound and stop his pain. It’s at dangerous levels right now.”
“J-just leave me behind” coughed the wounded soldier, and it seemed to drain all virtue out of him.
“NO WAY!!!” I had to hold back an emotional shivering, for it was not my words alone, but nine out of ten of us said it in chorus, even the lower ranks went all out and ignored military discipline to decline his demand. Alone Üprrkl didn’t say anything and I didn’t care whether it wasn’t his opinion or he just had accepted to shut the hell up.
Loxxar Kraes barked stertorously and closed his eyes, but his mime told me he felt proud and gratefull of his men and the rest of us.

“Allright, we can’t stay here, we have to move to find shelter, maybe supplies or even medicine. The road is out of the question, those flying spawns of hell would tear us apart. That round fluffy thing from before was at least peaceful when we didn’t try to touch it’s food. So through the woods, it is. Praxx, Rae’krotar, you both carry Loxxar Kraes. Dr. Proaxl and her squad around you, and Xato Nexgrra at the back, Lsrl Krck and Koarl cover the sides, I’ll take the lead. I’d say we follow the course of the road, maybe we find the sentinent life form and can request their help. Weapons alltime at the ready! Let’s go!”

Our formation ranged carefully through the terrain. After some distance, Dr Proaxl closed op to me.
“Loxxar Kraes is a fine soldier. Not many could endure this level of pain that long. But we have to hurry.”
I didn’t answer, just grumbled for myself.
The doc’s nebulous body touched my arm and immediately her voice rang inside of my mind: “Do you believe it would be wise to force contact to this world’s inhabitants?”
Under normal circumstances, this violation of my personal space would be considered grievely rude both in military and social ways, and if this would be any other day, Dr. Proaxl would be the last person in the whole universe who would nonchalantly cross that line. But this was not normal, this was not every other day, and we were not a IFPS ship’s crew anymore, we were cast aways, brothers and sisters who shared a gruesome fate.
And I realised immediatly, she only asked me in mind so the others couldn’t hear it and fuel up their doubts and latent despair.
“Have we any other choice?” I thought.
I didn’t get an answer.

Time was against us, in more than one way. We all knew that Üprrkl had hit the nail on the head. And any stand - the IFPS’ standardized unit of time - brought us nearer to the end - of whatever it might be. We swapped our positions, so everyone had once to carry our wounded companion, but it did’t help the fact all of us grew hungry and tired and slowed down.

“Let’s rest. It’s no use if anyone of us broke down. 20 stands to regain some stamina.”
“Wouldn’t it be nice to have something to eat?” asked Koarl.
“I ain’t gonna touch those grains!” yelled Rae’krotar.
We had seen some shadows of what might be those fluffy round beasts or any other lifeform of this planet. But since those shadows didn’t bother to come closer to us, we had no mentionable encounter since the disaster with our ship. And we intended to keep it that way, so we took some detours to avoid getting too near to any scattered grains crossing our path.
“Guys…”
It was Üprrkl. Xato Nexgrra’s slapping had shut him up for quite the time, but eventually he started to murmur his “we gonna die, we gonna starve, we gona suffocate” again and no one had the virtue to slap him again - at least hard enough so it would have any effect. So we decided to ignore him.
“Guys!!!….”
“Just what the heck is your probl… oh.”
“Seems like we gonna be the food.”
Behind our backs, two glowing yellow eyes glanced through the long shadows of the streaks. As I could recall, they were even bigger than that winged black bastard’s ones, and both of them starred at us simultaniously, frontal. The black pupils were narrow slits, and in the cornea we could see our own reflections.
“Those eyes are aligned to create two overlapping fields of view, capable of exact depth perception. It’s a predator!” proclaimed Üprrkl. What an unnecessary piece of information. As if those fangs and claws wouldn’t be self-explanatory. The body of the creature, probaply even bigger than the black flying monsters, huddled up, not in a defending way, but to prepare for a jumping attack. Even if you could only assume the whole size - most of it was covered by the shadows - one could tell the attack was imminent.

Suddenly, the earth shattered.
“KI…KI…KI..HE…KI…KI…KI…” It was a deafening noise, followed by an earthquake. And another one. And another.
“Those are steps!” screamed Üprrkl. Oh I began to hate his constantly uttering of the obvious.
The monster ceased preparing his attack and looked up to the sky. Up to it’s full size and coming one step into the light, it was so frickin’ huge it could have swallod one of us at whole. But there was something even more frickin’ Xaleates damn huge bursting through the tops of the cultivated grass: A giant! A frickin’ gigantic giant! With a head taller than a mountain and limbs longer than our former ship’s supply tunnels, with five appendices at their ends, forming grotesk claws like parts of construction site vehicles.
“AH…THE…U…R…IT… TI… TO… GO… HO…”
The gigantic limb reached for the “smaller” monster’s neck and pulled it upwards. The “little” monsters hung like a sack, obviously devote to its unavoidable fate.
The giant lifted the monster to its breast and hold it firm, then it threw its glance onto us. Parallel eyes! A predator like nothing comparable in the universe!
“OH… IT… U…! I… SA… UR… SHI… CRA… AN… TRY… TO… HE… U… BUT… U… WE… GO…” growled the giant. We were to frightened to move just a single limb, let allone run away. Only Dr. Proaxl - who hadn’t limbs - could move. And she went straight up to the giant, levitating right to his head.
“No! Doctor!” I screamed, but she ignored me.
The giant stared at her with wide opened eyes, studiing its prey to the fullest.
Dr. Proaxl had now reached its head, passed the enormous jaw with teeth big like daggers, meant to crush anything between it. Then she went straight for a single prominent knob in the middle of the giant’s face - and touched it.
The pupils of the giant widened vastly as Dr. Proaxl entered its mind.
“Oh, what pleasant surprise!” her voice chimed down to us. “It’s this world’s  sentinent inhabitant. It’s willing to help us. And it’s a pup.”

3

our love was made for movie screens

Costume Trouble

Originally posted by agent-spidey

A/N: Hello again!!! So this one is a bit shorter than the last one but I’m so excited for this to ready for you guys to see it!! It’s spooky season and I am so ready for it and I wanted a halloween themed fic so here it is!! I hope you enjoy!! And of course, thank you to @spideyparkerimagines and @teatimewrites for the lovely help you two were while I was writing!! 

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader

Word Count: 1310

Tips: Bold and Italic and (Y/N) and just italic are peter


“Peter, I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Ned, how can this not be a good idea?”

“Well, I don’t know, maybe because you’re wearing your Spider-Man suit to a halloween party. What happened to ‘It’s not a party trick’?”

Keep reading

Imagine taking your anger out on Jim

Originally posted by jpgstorage

You stormed into Jim’s quarters, knowing he was taking his hourly lunch and would most likely be alone. When you walked in, the door closed behind you and Jim looked up from his PADD with a soft smile. 

“It’s called knocking, beautiful.”

You glared at the handsome man and waltzed right up to him, “Shut up, Jim. I’ve been having a hell of a day in Sickbay and that doctor of yours is driving me off the wall.”

Keep reading

4

@shelbylouiseclancy
I really really hope you’ll like it!! 💕💕

(NSFW Content below that line!)
A-Z Nsfw Headcanons.

/SO I had to write this for the 2nd time bcs tumblr crashed on me :)) /


A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex) :
Despite the fact that he tries to seem like someone who doesn’t give a shit about what’s happening in the world, he actually loves you so much! And that’s what he’s doing after sex, while you’re sleeping next to him, he’s thinking “What the fuck did I do so good to deserve you?”

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s) :
Your waist. Gosh, something about the tight dresses and corsets you wear makes you look so sexy & he loves it when you wear loose shirts with corset and leather pants too. Sometimesyou’d dress up for him, just so he can rip off the corset from you and grip your waist and touch your body and kiss you all over. (probs bend you down some table too ;) )

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person) :
Unlike the other men he knows, he’s not the one to tell you “Don’t be a little bitch and just swallow it!”. He’d let you do whatever is comfortable with you, no pressure. Though he likes it when he finishes in your mouth, or inside you, or on your tits or belly. No real preferences here.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs) :
Actually loves it when you push him down on the bed and tell him to shut up right before he complains “What the hell are you doing woman?”. And do whatever the hell you want to him - suck his brains off or ride him to the moon and back, all while scratching his back or chest.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)
Yes, he’s pretty experiences, that’s no secret. & he 100% knows what he’s doing.

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual) :
Having you bent over a table or any flat surface is fun, but he actually likes looking at your face, though at first most of the times you fucked was with you on your hands and knees, or bent down, because he was insecure if you had to look at his scarred face for too long. Literally the thought of it made him sick, however one day you switched positions,your legs wrapped around him, your back against a wall (you washed away any trace of insecurity by telling him “I love your face, god damn it, stop looking away!” + kissing him passionately right after helped too) and since then that’s how he likes it best.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc) :
Depends on the mood he’s in or you’re in. If he was mad about something, or someone and he wants a relief, he’d be silent, more rough and fast, kissing your neck a lot, biting it, leaving a fat bruise on. If you’re just messing around, he’d be more organic, will do it the way he feels it.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.) :
Has quite some hair down there; always says something under the line of “I don’t wanna feel like a naked chicken, ya know”

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)
He loves feeling the warmth of your body and your nails digging in his back and holding him by the shoulders or arms, won’t actually say it out loud, but he feels so in love with you in those moments, like he finally found someone, his someone.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon) :
Of course he does it, though now that he has you, he prefers fucking you instead. Will only jack off if you’re very very mad with him and he has literally no other choice.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks) :
Something like a roleplay x appreciation kink? He loves it when you go to him when you two are alone, about to do the do, you straddle him “Will you protect me from the big bad wolf we saw in the woods?” and he’d look at you with the most unimpressed expression on his face “Yea, I will protect you” and then you but on the inside he’s all smug about it because he knows you can kick ass, but you want him to protect you. Just something about him being the man you need, your man, that’s what turns him on.

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do):
Anywhere you feel like fucking doing it! Who the hell would stop you? (who the f would dare to anyways)

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going) :
Doesn’t need too much motivation to get turned on and in the mood; if you were making out for some time, he’d lift you up by your hips and usually that’d be the start and it’d go from there.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs) :
Will not share you with anyone, doesn’t like other people creeping around you, will tell anyone to fuck off if they are looking at you in the wrong way.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc) :
Ofc he loves oral. Blowjobs are life, but he likes eating you out and fingering as well. Fingering he finds even sexier.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)
Usually he’s going fast on you, not too rough, but just enough so you’d feel the adrenaline hit you hard.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.):
Likes a quickie, will do it if whenever he can really. 

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.) :
Doesn’t really give a shit. Will do whatever the fuck he wants to, whenever the hell he pleases to, the real risk is for those interrupting. ;)

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…) :
Doesn’t last an extremely long period of time, but just enough for both of you to be completely satisfied in whatever situation.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?):
“I don’t need any fucking toys.”

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease) :
Is not really that much of a tease, though won’t mind it if you tease him.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make) :
LOud , low, throaty grunts, definitelly some dirty talk “I know you like that” followed by some more grunting and heavy breathing and cursing.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice) :
Likes fucking you doggie style too, bcs that way he can grip on your waist, hips and ass as much as he wants to!! 

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words) :
Well he’s a big man with a bick dick. Is there anything more to say? He’s around 6′8 feet tall, jesus!

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?) :
Is ready to have you anytime, anywhere, so I’d say sex drive is as high as it can get.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards) :
There are nights in which he stays awake for quite some time, just thinking about many things; on other nights he pulls you to him and dozes off ofter a few moments.

Masterlist

Will Be Updated When Needed

Request here; x

Prompt List; x  

- Done

- WIP


Imagines:

# 24 - Put some clothes on

# 2 - Don’t You Dare Die

# 23, # 57 & # 100 - Did I say that out loud │Sit on my lap │I love it when you wear my clothes

# 17 - If you walk out that door, don’t ever come back

# 42, # 95 & # 77 - I love you │Don’t say that │I care about your feelings more than mine  

# 29 & # 82 - I’m tired of being your dirty little secret │I’m not used to someone putting me first

# 31 & # 41 - I’m pregnant │Marry me

# 1, # 6 & # 83 - You’re stuck with me │I’m not jealous │I’m afraid I’m not enough for you

# 22, # 26 & # 64 - I swear to god if you ask me one more time whether I am okay, I will rip your head off │Is there a reason you keep staring at me │My body is very attracted to your body, but when you speak, my brain gets angry

# 22 & # 31 - I swear to god if you ask me one more time whether I am okay I will rip your head off │I’m pregnant

# 3, # 78 & # 88 - I can’t lose you │I can protect myself │I almost lost you. Promise me you won’t do something like that again

# 42, # 52 & # 74 - I love you Don’t cryYou’ll find me? Always

# 6, # 28, # 56 - I’m not jealous Kiss me You’re my best friend, of course I’m going to worry about you

# 45 & # 47 - I want to spend the rest of my life with you │Please forgive me

# 33 - Stop grabbing my ass

# 28, # 45 & # 84 - Kiss me │I want to spend the rest of my life with you │Come back to bed

# 43, # 54, # 80 & # 83 - Why are you with me │You have me │I know it’s crazy but you’re the only thing in this whole place that feels right │I’m afraid I’m not enough for you

# 15, # 71 & # 84 - Let’s do something fun for once│I’m gonna take a shower and you’re gonna join me│Come back to bed

# 9, # 26 & # 27 - What the hell are you doing │Is there a reason you keep staring at me │I’m trying to flirt with you

# 40, # 52 & # 84 - I need a hug │Don’t cry │Come back to bed

# 33, # 57, # 115 - Stop grabbing my ass │Sit on my lap │Is that my shirt

# 20, # 53 & # 128 - I can do it myself │I don’t have anyone │Their not your kids, back the fuck off

# 32, # 79 & # 131 - Please say something │You know I’m always here for you │We need to talk

# 59 & # 78 - Don’t do that again │You know I’m always here for you

#6, #14, # 18 & # 28 - I’m not jealous │I can’t do it anymore │Stay with me │Kiss me

# 42, # 70 & # 148 - I love you │Are you hurt │I lost the baby

Drunken Love

Kisses Through The Phone

I Adore You

Preferences:

Sex with Bellamy Blake would include

Having kids with Bellamy Blake would include

Imagines:

# 36, # 47 & # 48 - I made a mistake, a big mistake and I regret it │Please forgive me │Are you cheating on me

# 31, # 32 & # 41 - I’m pregnant │Please say something │Marry me

# 33 - Stop grabbing my ass

# 71 - I’m gonna take a shower. And you’re gonna join me

# 81 - I like worrying. I’m very good at it

# 23 & # 132 - Did I say that out loud │Please put your penis away

# 4 - Please don’t leave me

# 11 - You don’t scare me

# 2, # 3 & # 34 - Don’t you dare die │I can’t lose you │It was just a nightmare. You are okay, I promise

# 1, # 106 & # 141 - You’re stuck with me │Make me │You’re my bitch now

# 19 & # 20 - Get your hands off of me │I can do it myself 

# 1, # 26 & # 106 - You’re stuck with me │Is there a reason that you keep staring me │Make me

# 53 & # 58 - I don’t have anyone │Will you stay? Just until I fall back asleep

# 19 - Get your hands off of me

# 7, # 8 & # 9 - Would you please shut the hell up │Don’t walk away from me │What the hell are you doing

Speaking My Language

Moving Forward

Preferences:

Having kids with John Murphy would include

Sex with John Murphy would include

How John Murphy reacts to you getting hurt

Cuddling John Murphy would include

Imagines:

# 31 - I’m pregnant

# 55 - I worry about you

# 23, # 26 & # 28 - Did I say that out loud │Is there a reason you keep staring at me │Kiss me

# 26, # 71 & # 111 - Is there a reason you keep staring at me │I’m gonna take a shower. And you’re gonna join me │Oh god, I need a drink

# 22 & # 29 - I swear to god if you ask me one more time whether I am okay, I will rip your head off │I’m tired of being your dirty little secret 

# 17, # 77 & # 139 - If you walk out that door, don’t ever come back │I care about your feelings more than mine │Stay here tonight

# 58 & # 61 - Will you stay? Just until I fall back asleep │I can’t imagine my life without you

The Young Hero

Preferences:

Having kids with Jasper Jordan would include

Imagines:

# 27 & # 28 - I’m trying to flirt with you │Kiss me

# 81 - I like worrying. I’m very good at it

# 27 - I’m trying to flirt with you

# 31, # 71 & # 97 - I’m pregnant │I’m gonna take a shower. And you’re gonna join me │I have a present for you

# 124 - You’re Satan

Preferences:

Imagines:

# 100 - I love it when you wear my clothes

# 28, # 68 & #83 - Kiss me │You’re looking way too hot right now │I’m afraid I’m not enough for you

# 16, # 18 & # 23 - You’re mine │Stay with me │Did I say that out loud

# 3, # 6 & # 7 - I can’t lose you │I’m not jealous │Would you please shut the hell up

# 7, # 104 & # 129 - Would you please shut the hell up │Bite me │I could punch you right now

# 48 & # 98 - Are you cheating on me │I need you

Dying Wish

Last Hooray

Preferences:

Imagines:

# 5 & # 26 - You look beautiful │Is there a reason you keep staring at me

# 6 - I’m not jealous

# 23 & # 28 - Did I say that out loudKiss me

# 31 & # 83 - I’m pregnant │I’m afraid I’m not enough for you

# 41 & # 45 - Marry me│I want to spend the rest of my life with you

# 20 & # 76 - I can do it myself │You don’t have to pretend with me

# 14 & # 74 - I can’t do it anymore │You’ll find me? Always

# 42, # 70 & # 82 - I love you │Are you hurt │I’m not used to someone putting me first

# 39, # 61 & # 107 - I missed you │I can’t imagine my life without you │You come into my room and wake me up at 4 am to cuddle

# 70 & # 81 - Are you hurt │I like worrying. I’m very good at it

Ghosts

Accusations

Sisters Quarrel

To Keep You Safe

Seeing The Stars

Preferences:

Having kids with Roan would include

Roan courting a sky girl would include

Cuddling Roan would include

How Roan reacts to you getting hurt

Having Roan as a dad would include

Imagines:

He’s My Best Friend

Preferences:

Imagines:

Preferences:

I’m Sorry

Summary: Dean sees Roman kiss you on the cheek, and his jealous side comes out. You try to talk to him on the way back to the hotel, but Dean snaps at you and unintentionally makes you cry. When you get back to the hotel make-up sex ensues.

WARNINGS: Swearing, Angst & Smut.

*          *          *          *          *

“I better get going. I’ll see you at the show tomorrow, have a goodnight. Say bye to Dean for me.” Roman said before leaning in and pressing a kiss to your cheek.

“I will Ro, have a good night.”

You turned to find Dean, but you didn’t have to look for very long. Standing, leaning against the bar was Dean with his eyes locked on Roman and his jaw clenched.

You walked over to him and reached out to put your hand on his chest.

“Dean-“

“We’re going home. Now.” He said before he pushed your hand off his chest and walked towards the exit. You followed, trying your best to keep up as you stumbled along in your high heels.

Dean slammed the door of the rental as he slid in behind the wheel. You got in cautiously and buckled your seat belt.

“Dean, it-“

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

You thought about saying something but decided against it. You stared out the window as the streetlights zoomed by you. There was an uncomfortable tension in the car.

You didn’t know what Dean was so upset about. It was a friendly kiss. It didn’t mean anything to you, and you were almost positive it didn’t mean anything to Roman. Roman is married for God’s sake, and you and Dean had been together for quite some time.

But it was much more than a simple kiss on the cheek to Dean. You knew you and Dean would have to talk about it. It wasn’t healthy for your relationship to just push it to the side. You also knew you wouldn’t be able to sleep tonight unless you and Dean worked this out.

“I’m sorry.” You breathed out, looking down at your hands.

You took a deep breath and glanced over at him as he drove in silence, ignoring your apology.

“Dean, please…”

His jaw tightened, and his knuckles whitened as he tightened his grip on the steering wheel.

“Dean, I said I was sorry. Could you please talk to me?” You murmured, as you continued to look over at him.

“I’m pissed off right now.” He said harshly. “My girlfriend and my fucking best friend…”

“Dean it didn’t mean anything-“

“Don’t tell me it didn’t mean anything. I saw the way you two looked at each other.”

“Dean-“

“I don’t want to talk about this right now.”

“Dean-“

“Can you please just shut the hell up? I don’t want to talk about it!” He yelled slamming his hands onto the steering wheel as he came to a stop at a red light.

You flinched at his words and outburst. Dean swore, but never at you. He had never shown anger towards you. You felt the damn silently break, and silent tears began to cascade down your cheeks as you nodded and turned to face the window.

You sniffled as quietly as you could and reached up to wipe away the tears from your cheeks as quickly as you could without him seeing. You didn’t want him to see you cry.

“Baby…Fuck, are you crying? Baby, I’m sorry. Please don’t cry.” He spoke much softer this time. “I don’t want to be the reason you cry.”

You couldn’t bring yourself to look at him after he had snapped at him. You had seen that side of him, but you had never seen it directed at you. It felt like he had shoved a knife straight into your chest and twisted it.

“Baby…will you please look at me?” He asked softly.

You took a deep breath and looked over at him. He reached over and took your hand in his, intertwining your fingers together.

“I’m sorry, Y/n. I just have a lot on my mind with my place in the company…I didn’t mean to snap at you. I love you.” He said.

“Dean, I don’t have feelings for Roman.” You said.

“I know you don’t. I don’t know why I thought that…look I’m not good at this kind of stuff, but I’m sorry.”

He raised your joined hands to his lips and gently pressed his lips to the back of your hand. He continued to hold your hand as he drove the rest of the way to the hotel.

Once the two of you were upstairs in your hotel room, Dean put his hands on your waist and pulled you into him.

“I’m sorry,” he said.

“Dean, you have to work on your jealousy.” You said. “Of all the guys on the roster, Roman is the guy you should trust the most. He’s your best friend. Hell, he’s more like your brother! He would never hurt you like that, and neither would I.”

“I know you wouldn’t. I was just frustrated with the company, and I don’t know why I got upset. I shouldn’t cuss at you and get mad at you like that. I want to make it up to you.” He said.

“Dean you don’t have-“

“I’m going to make it up to you.” He as he placed a hand on the back of your neck. He leaned in and pressed his lips to yours. It was gentle at first, but then it turned to more. Dean’s lips moved against yours hungrily, like he was tasting you for the first time.

He pushed you backward until the back of your knees hit the bed. He put a hand on your back and gently helped lower you down onto the bed. You scooted up on the bed so that you were laying on the pillows as Dean crawled onto the bed. He put his lips to yours again as his hands slid down your sides to the hem of your shirt.

“Can I take this off, darlin’?”

“Please.” You breathed out.

He quickly slid the shirt off you and then reached around to unclip your bra. He slid the straps down your arms before throwing the garment behind him. He leaned down and wrapped his lips around your right nipple while his fingers twisted the left one.

“Dean.” You moaned out.

“That feel good?” He said breathily.

“Y-yes.” You whispered.

“C’mon baby, I want to hear you.” He said.

“Yes!” You said as he took the nub between his teeth.

“That’s it.” He said before moving his mouth to the other side.

You felt his fingers trying to unbutton your jeans, but he was having trouble. He pulled his lips from your nipple so that he could look down and focus on the task. He quickly unbuttoned and unzipped the jeans before hooking his fingers into the waistband and pulling them and your panties down your legs.

You reached up and grabbed the bottom of his shirt and pulled it over his head. You ran your hands down his toned chest undoing his black belt and popping open the button on his jeans. He stood up to slid his jeans and boxers off before he climbed back onto the bed.

“I love you, so fucking much.” He whispered before he pressed his lips to yours again. You felt his fingers ghost along the inside of his thighs, and you felt yourself getting impatient for his tough.

“Dean, plea-“ You were cut off as he slid a finger inside you. He groaned at how wet you were already.

“So wet, baby.” He said. He pumped his finger inside you a couple of times before sliding another one in.

“Fuck, Dean,” you breathed out as your chest rose and fell.

“Come on, baby. Cum for me.” Dean said before he pressed his lips to yours. You rocked your hips against his hand as the knot in your stomach tightened. You felt his thumb circle your clit, and you moaned into his mouth.

He added a third finger and you loud out a loud moan as you continued to rock your hips into his hand.

“Cum for me, Y/n. Need you to cum for me.” Dean begged.

Dean leaned down and pressed his lips to the soft spot on your neck, and it was the final thing you need to hit your climax. Your back arched off the mattress as you came. Your body shook as you came down from your high.

Dean ran a hand through your hair and pressed his lips to your forehead.

“Are you okay?” He asked as he looked into your eyes.

You weren’t used to seeing this side of Dean. He didn’t show his sensitive side very often, but you loved it when he did. You loved when you could feel how much he loved you just by the way his eyes stared into yours or the way he would touch you so gently like he was afraid he would break you.

You couldn’t find words, so you just nodded.

“I love you. I’m sorry I got jealous about Roman.” He said.

“Dean, Roman is not a threat. Nobody’s a threat. You’re all I want.” You said.

“I know, I just am so afraid to lose you-“

“You’re not going to lose me. I’m here to stay. You’re stuck with me.” You said.

His lips curved into a smile and he ran his thumb over your cheek as he looked at you.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

He leaned in and pressed his lips to yours one final time before you curled into his chest and closed your eyes.

i am so about the fake ah crew being just like. incredibly nonchalant/cavalier/offhand about their violence because it allows for moments of hilarity that mirror ones we see in their let’s plays:

  • “don’t you think we should try, you know, getting through this without murdering everybody?” jeremy asks before he knows better.
    michael snaps his fingers. “oh, shit, you’re right! i forgot something.”
    “what?”
    shut the hell up.”
  • gavin standing up on a crowded bus and announcing like a tour guide, “and on your right, you’ll see the tallest building in los santos. also on your right, you’ll see the exit. which you’ll want to be taking. because we’re stealing this bus. for god’s sake– leave, you lot, on your left you’ll see a massive wall of bodies if you don’t get the bloody hell off the bus.”
    “and directly in front of you, you’ll see the biggest donut in los santos.”
    “michael, you’re pointing at me.”
    “i know what i said.”
  • geoff is yelling at ryan over the phone demanding to know where he is and then yelling more when he finds out ryan’s off doing hitman jobs independently.
    eventually ryan’s just like, “would you just relax and let me kill for money?!”
  • jack stops a hostage from pulling a gun during a heist and tsks. “oh, honey. your next of kin is going to be so embarrassed for you when the paramedics tell her how you died.”
  • ray’s on a sniping job and the guy he’s about to kill is standing in front of a window; the sun comes out and suddenly bathes him in this angelic halo of light. 
    ryan’s watching for shits and giggles. “that looks like divine intervention if i’ve ever seen it. that’s some symbolism right there.”
    ray rolls his eyes. “screw you, symbolism,” he says, and pops off the shot.
  • gavin’s playing with a new shotgun during a heist and is amazed/grossed out to discover that it can blow limbs/heads/etc off of bodies if shot with care.
    geoff comes in when he hears all the noise and is sort of like “what the fuck, gavin” in general.
    gavin waves away the interruption impatiently. “oi, i’m operating,” he says, punctuating it by blowing the leg off a corpse. 
    “amputation!” ryan says, delighted, when he walks in.
    gavin beams. “yeah, exactly!”
    (”you guys are fucking gross and i’m going home.”)
  • michael’s gunning down cops when his gun malfunctions.
    “performance issues,” jeremy comments, mock-sympathetic.
    “oh, what, you know from experience?” and then they’re just bickering about erectile dysfunction, heedless of the officers in various stages of injury/death around them 
  • geoff is holding some people hostage in a bank; a dude in the corner is murmuring oh my god, oh my god, oh my god
    and geoff grins at jack. “y’know, if the whole ‘life of crime’ shtick doesn’t work out, i think i have a career as a pastor.”
    “yeah?”
    “yeah. for some reason, people get awfully fuckin’ religious when they’re around me.”

me: man i have so many tv shows to watch rn so idk where should i start?

also me: *rewatches Mr. Robot (2015-) for the sixth (6) time*