shut up this is a funny joke

  • Alfor: (to the royal artist) hey uh can u draw an official portrait of my robot OC his name is voltron
  • Artist: sorry i don't do commissions of furries/anthros or mecha :/

I find it oddly flattering that the Anti-Vaccination crowd thinks that I– an actual Autistic– am some kind of monster that was created in a lab. There’s a ‘50s B-movie in this, is what I’m getting at.

'My God, Doctor! It’s alive! What does it want with us?’

*the creature lumbers forward, inciting obligatory screams*

LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT TRAAAAAAAIIIIIIIINSSSS

The types and what I think of them based on what I've seen from my friends

(Not very original I know but I need to do something during this boring af evening)

ENFP
- cute
- childish
- full of ideas
- optimistic
- RaNdOm
-PUNS AND MEMES
- kinda geeky
-have a lot of feelings
- secretly evil

ENTJ
- ‘I wanna be the very best like no one ever waaaaas’
-natural leader
-considerate
- SO. DAMN. LUCKY
- easy going

INTP
-lazy
-smart
- can actually be very talkative if they like the subject
- PrOcRaStInAtIoN
- very funny in their own way
-trapped in their own world

ENTP
-have been told at least once in their life ‘you remind me of Barney Stinson’
-have 2000000+ projects at the same time
-actually finish like two of them
-never shut up
-can be good at everything
-but can only be excellent at bullshiting their way through life
-zero empathy
-dad jokes
-socially akward but still manage to look cool

ISTP
-take grammar way too seriously
-frank and direct
-meticulous
-witty
-look intimidating
-can actually be very affectionate if they feel like it
-strong mentally and physically
-know martial arts


ISFJ
-warm and nice
-so calm, it’s relaxing to be around them
-excellent listenners
-shaped like a friend
-have louder reactions than everyone else during movies or roller coaster rides
-don’t dislike a lot of things
-litteraly everyone like them
-easy to live with

ISFP
-FEEEEELIIIIINGS
-don’t like to be challenged
-have strong valors
-don’t understand if you don’t share said valors
-don’t overcome difficulties easily
-EXTREMELY SENSITIVE
-hate criticism, even constructive ones
-too easily offended
-moody
-trustworthy (when they like you)

INTJ
-seem cold and calculating
-make the best of friends if you take the time to know them
-snarky
-quiet
-if they don’t like you you’re dead
-have low patience
-analytical
-don’t handle feelings at all

INFJ
-MYSTERIOUS
-they know everything about you
-but you know nothing about them
-sarcasm
-take time to feel confortable around new people (like 2 years or so)
-long period of awkward silence
-(the silence is awkward for you, not them)
- people tend to like them but still think they’re 'weird’
-secretly a nerd

ESTP
-stereotype of the popular jock
-athletic af
-class clown
-perfectionists
-everyone love them
-always quoting lines from their favorite movies
-want to experience everything
-often come to class with a broken leg or something
-have the kind of humor that everyone like except NTs

ESFP
-'girl’ ESTP
-love to party
-will do stupid stuff just cause they felt like it
-will cry about said stupid things
-GOSSIP
-very loving persons
-their spiritual goddess might be Aphrodite
-loud
-funny

ESFJ
-overprotecting grandma
-will bake you cookies but will be highly offended if you’re not hungry for now
-generous, but will expect you to return the favor
-don’t like when people don’t agree with them
-don’t like to be out of their comfort zone
-can be bossy
-talkative

INFP
-full of crazy, great ideas
-bad at maths
-love to read
-RaVeNcLaW
-extremely moody
-open minded
-like to learn new stuff
-LOTS OF STRESS
-good at acting without even trying

ISTJ
-Like to follow the rules
-but is not afraid to bend them if they logically think they’re stupid
-bossy
-good student
-patient
-will glady help their classmates if they haven’t understood the lesson
-have difficulties to think out of the box
-book smart
-organized

And I don’t know any ENFJ or ESTJ. (I mostly have NTs and INFPs friends.)

Also sorry if the ISFP is a bit harsh but the ones I know drive me nuts.

This is of course not representative of all the types at all.

It pisses me off so much that countless people are going to see BATB and then returning and going ‘uwu all those hateful angry gays were wrong!! le fou was so great!!’ like

1) even if, magically, le fou was a fantastic character and fantastic rep, it doesn’t change the fact that people ABSOLUTELY can be wary of Disney fucking up yet another thing

and 2) le fou’s gayness was a joke when it was explicit, but he still wasn’t allowed to be truly gay - I went with my straight family and they all missed EVERYTHING. he dances with a transmisogynistic joke guy at the end of the movie for like four seconds - ACCIDENTALLY - his affection/care for gaston is a joke when gaston isn’t manipulating him with it, and the funny gay sidekick desperately in love with a mean straight guy isn’t… good rep at all

finally 3) gay actors being in the movie means shit if they’re playing straights, especially when the gay character is a joke and there’s an awful transmisogynistic joke

all of y'all can shut up

Rap Battle: Anti Vs. Dark

Dark:

You know I rule the Earth, what are you yapping about?

You? Control the world? Maybe you should try a different route.

Giving hints of your existence like you’re Santa Claus,

Yet they joke and they provoke you and that’s all because:

You’re a loser, Anti, he can always shut you up,

Don’t you get it? In his show you’re just a lousy prop.

You say you’re always there, always controlling him,

But, Anti, let’s just face it, all you do is scream.

I took over, I stayed longer and the proof is here,

So why don’t you just glitch away and disappear?


Anti:

You know, it’s funny, you want me to fucking disappear,

But I don’t remember seeing you in the past full year.

So sit yourself down, Dark, and let me show you how it’s done,

With some glitches, and eye itches and a whole lot of fun.

You think you’re scary with your deep voice and shit,

But you can only manipulate your way into a stupid skit.

You’re all bark and no bite, I make the others shake with fright.

I killed the owner of this body the first time I took over

With me around, you’ll wish for that one lucky clover.

I glitch my way into existence, I corrupt the files,

They’re guessing and messing, going a thousand miles.

They’re doing their best, trying to build my personality,

And I keep changing, piece by piece, I’m breaking their reality.

You’re old news, Dark, why don’t you get it, man?

I suggest you talk your way into the trash can.


Anti:

VHS cunt!


Dark:

Glitch Bitch!

Both:

You can’t win this, you better ditch!

This fight is really overdue,

We both know it, and they know it too.


Dark:

You can’t do anything right, can’t even kill yourself,

You say I’m bark and no bite, at least I don’t look like an elf.

Take those earrings off, you’re not an angsty teen,

It’s time to finally wipe off that stupid grin.

Someone should teach you how things work around here,

And for a job like that, I gladly volunteer.

The element of surprise was gone from the beginning,

Sometimes you need some time off to get their heads spinning.

Look into my eyes when I tell you that

You’re acting like a bitchy little brat.

Come on, Anti, just stop with all this glitchy fuss

And let’s see what the future truly holds for us.


Anti:

Oh, I’m sorry, you wanted me to look into your eyes?

With all that makeup on even I can’t see past your disguise.

Wearing suits and classy shoes, yet all you can do is lose.

We showed them who we are, and now it’s their time to choose.

I’m the main event, from down below,

Gave you a ticket, so enjoy the show.

They’re all in the back, I’m in the front row,

You see the truth, so hear my flow.

I’m the only one they want to know,

You’re pretty much a goner, so

You built the castle, now I have the keys

So bow your head and get down on your knees.

You think only glitching is my expertise,

Come on, Darkiplier, wake up, bitch please.


WHO WON? WHO’S NEXT? YOU DECIDE!@therealjacksepticeye@markiplier

Yoongi : jungk- what the hell are you doing?
Jk : shut up I’m focusing.
Yoongi : on what..? *Follows Jk’s eyes*
*Sees jimin drying his hair*
Yoongi :*plops down next to jk* cool, me too

Jack Zimmermann was accustomed to dealing with difficult situations; he was captain of the Samwell Men’s Hockey team after all, but this? This was never in the job description.

“Can I tell you a secret?” Bitty whispered into the side of Jack’s neck, breath hot and sweet against his skin. The kegster ended a while ago but Bitty was still feeling the effects. When he fell off the coffee table attempting to dance to All the Single Ladies, Jack swept in ready to piggyback him to bed.

“Alright,” Jack said, mouthing I got this in Lardo’s direction before heading to the stairs.

“I don’t wanna be a single lady anymore,” His voice faltered and Jack became acutely aware of Bitty’s thighs around his hips. “I want a person. Everybody else has got a person.”

“With moves like that I don’t think you’ll have to wait long,” Jack said, supressing a chuckle.

“Mmhmm,” Bitty mumbled, fighting a losing war against sleep. Jack pushed open the door to Bitty’s room with his foot and ducked inside.

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The types and what I think of them based on what I've seen from my friends(and probably a little insulting)

~as an INTJ

INTP
- quiet
- can make a bitch face that makes you cry
- probably thinks u stupid
- says that MBTI is shit
- fashionista
- has an ENFP friend(“ENFP no!”)
- savage
- that friend who has ultra weird ideas when drunk
- probably most adorable smile on earth
- smart
- most of the time just rising eyebrows and blinking

ENTJ
- bossy af
- prima ballerina
- she is beauty she is grace
- she will punch you in da face
- always in warm socks
- also an actress
- knows how to build things
- basically good at everything
- will shout at you if you do something wrong
- probably slept with almost all male friends

ENTP
- a n n o y i n g AF
- never shuts up
- meme queen
- so loud
- not funny jokes
- make up queen
- at least smart
- thinks she’s better than you(and maybe she is)
- if you take a sip from her mug u die
- has an ENFP slave
- kinda selfish
- another fashionista
- if she laughs the whole room laughs with her
- soooo much self confidence wow

INFP
- THAT SPECIAL SNOWFLAKE
- garbage lord
- writer buddy
- has ton of OC’s AND GAY SHIPS
- cannot into decisions
- junky food
- understands(really)
- don’t like loud people
- constant lala land
- savage without even noticing
- 4w5
- has 8 minute long video of herself eating french fries on her phone
- impressive self control
- cute laugh
- cute
- the best person to rant with

ENFP
- can’t stay in one place for a minute
- suddenly disappears in a middle of a party
- daydreaming a lot
- cheerful
- likes to drink A LOT
- too many friends
- nice for everyone ugh
- that laugh which sounds like a puppy riding a pink bicycle in a tuxedo
- can bring ENTP back to earth

ENFJ
- mom friend
- has too many friends HOW IS IT EVEN POSSIBLE
- gonna steal your friends without even noticing
- likes fancy drinks and kitschy things
- obsessed with doggos
- sudden outbursts of anger
- hypochondriac
- really anxious when driving
- doesn’t understand a concept of a personal space

ISTJ
- another bitch face
- can rise one eyebrow HOW U DO DIS?????
- doesn’t understand memes
- smart
- lack of self confidence
- secretly hates u
- wears comfy clothes but looks so good
- has a lot of savings but hardly ever uses them
- they knows better ok? don’t even try to tell them that they are wrong
- don’t particularly like pets
- perfect teeth
- so so so smart once again
- sometimes are rather calm but sometimes… don’t ask

ESTJ
- that kid who asks too many questions during your presentation
- constant bitch face
- hot
- stingy
- falls asleep during parties
- a rant person
- bossy
- hard working
- teachers like her

ESFJ
- will help you EVEN WHEN YOU HAVENT ASKED FOR HELP
- has a lot of friends
- drinks a lot
- hard-working
- daddy’s little princess/mama’s boy
- assertive
- smoking a lot
- tells everyone what to do

ISTP
- white Kanye West
- would kill u if u did something with his shoes
- likes weird electronic genres of music I can’t even name
- on 9gag all the time
- knows all memes
- League of Legends pro player
- can make funny faces
- looks like he was angry
- black humor(especially likes jokes about Jews)
- awkward silence gains a whole new meaning

ESFP
- the whitest person I know
- “what do u meat it was sexist?? it was funny!!!!”
- only wears yellow pants
- likes PE teacher probably a little too much
- can’t find a girlfriend
- will massage your feet if u don’t watch them properly
- has stupid ideas
- likes basically every person
- drinks wine at parties even though he says that true man should drink only vodka
- don’t know when someone is mean to him

ESTP
- loud
- hey lets go to the another city and get drunk!!! because why not
- class clown
- talks about her life too much like seriously
- and also about various secretions of her body
- probably gonna end up in jail
- smart and stupid at the same time
- lazy
- has problems with concentration
- talkative
- has problems with self-esteem which she covers acting out like a douche

Don’t take this personally lol
Houses as things I've Said

Gryffindor: *listens to news report on how our phones give off the same chemicals as marijuana in the brain* Ha! Yo Chris, pass the phone.

Hufflepuff: If I’m not up by 11:40 make sure the fishes have a balanced breakfast.

Ravenclaw: Got water?
Yeah I’m 65% water.
Okay, but how do I drink you?

Slytherin: *Me buying 3 packs of 72 ego waffles* Shut up Alan! I have needs that you’ll never understand! You could never understand.

i said this before but anthony mackie seems like the kid in the back of class who is really funny and loud and distracting and everybody likes him but the teacher needs him to shut up so they put the quiet kid sebastian stan next to him bc hes shy and says like four words every semester and it ends up with anthony making jokes under his breath that only sebastian can hear that makes him laugh out loud super hard until the teacher chastises him “i expect better of you, mr. stan” and anthony looks away w wide innocent eyes while clicking his tongue in disapproval

All My Love

MASTERLIST

A/N: I’m not happy with this, so I’m probably taking it down again but here goes a try. 

Word Count: 3,013

”Shawn? Shawn? Are you even listening to me at all?” I muttered, glancing over at Shawn in the passenger seat. 

I turned down John Mayer’s calming voice singing to us through the stereo in the jeep. My eyes fell on Shawn late enough for him to jerk up his head and quickly pop his eyes open. Confused and sleepy. For short moment probably wondering where on earth he was. 

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