shut up qp


all my tsn peeps (if you still exist), i require assistance.  i am, um, trying to work up the nerve to polish up my older stories and put back up That One Fic That Shook My Confidence To the Core.  if you could kindly (but gently) harass me about it, that would be great.  

i also have a friend who’s volunteered to look over some stuff for me, but she hasn’t seen the movie, so.  i mean, mostly, i’m not looking to rewrite anything because most of it is porn from the kink meme, but if anyone wants to be a second? third? pair of eyes, that would be cool, too.

Okay.  There is a $700 blender.  WHY.  I mean, look.  I’m not averse to spending money on kitchen stuff - I’ve got a few Le Creuset pieces in my cabinets.  But for the same reason I won’t pay them $25 for a wine foil cutter (because it’s a fucking foil cutter), I literally cannot comprehend what would warrant that blender’s price aside from frequency of use and volume.  I looked; it’s not professional.  It’s just a fucking regular blender and people are making fucking smoothies in the ad picture.  Someone explain this to me.  Explain to me a $700 blender.  

oh my fucking god

finally located my weird melkor/mairon headcanon.  because i lost it.  because i put things in strange places while, uh, not sober.  turns out half of it is in the form of fic-ish, this rambling skeleton thing with notes in parentheses like (flesh out your valar/maiar sexuality theories, spec. aule’s notables) and (what’s a better word for chafe?).  the most terrifying part is that i know exactly what i meant by those notes. 

oh my god, how do you fandom?  i am either really old or i got started in fandom when i was really young (a little bit of both) because i’m aflail without an lj comm whose comments i can freak out in with like-minded individuals.  

how do you friends?  how do you fandom?  how do you conversation? - on tumblr.  

jfc, i don’t even know how social awkwardness and anxiety can translate to the internet, but apparently they do, so i'lll be sitting here, poking at this stupid headcanon forever, trying to actually explain it instead of glossing over it with bad jokes. 

this is your public service announcement for the night, kittens: don’t get drunk/high/stoned, etc and blog because then you will type something like this and it will be horrifying to you when you wake up at three in the afternoon the next day and you will delete it, but be paranoid forever that people actually read it ffs.   

Still living.  That black dog is still chasing me, among other things.

I mentioned to someone awhile ago that tumblr is starting to stress me out with it’s SJW-ishness.  Like, I’m seeing people speak for me and I’m like NO.  NO THAT IS NOT CORRECT STOP IMMEDIATELY.  So, I needed a break to just go to the pure fluffy fandom side and take a breather.

Anyhow.  I found out a week ago that my longtime doctor died (he’s been my doctor for over half my life) and I’ve spent an entire week crying for him (and shedding a few tears for Nimoy, too).  But, I’m here, I’m alive.  I’m toddling through the real world and handling poorly, but what else is new?

I just wanted to say hello and that I miss everyone here.  Despite appearances to the contrary, I do read your posts and still love you all.


you must tag your shit because i am tracking this tag, right?  so, i go into the tag and this is literally how it goes:  one really graphic hentai post (idk, bros, idk), two posts that aren’t mine, and everything else is me rambling.  

i am way too self-conscious for that shit.  i like to pretend that everything i post can’t be tracked.  

basically, i’m an awkward fuck please don’t make me look at my own posts because i’m a weirdo who posts weird shit and half the time it’s really cracky and i don’t want to see it thank you and goodnight.  

Yooooo, I’m not dead.  Drive-by update:

- Knee surgery is a go.  It’s scheduled for Thursday, eek.  My surgeon is the nicest and apparently VERY well-known around here.  I think everyone who’s asked me who was doing my surgery knew someone he’d done surgery on.  I’m feeling cautiously optimistic.

- I can’t shake this sinus infection and it’s exhausting.  The extra hours of sleep I’m clocking are ridiculous.  

- Sansapants is starting to love me!  She approaches for pets when I’m sitting in the living room.  She took food from my hand last night, too.  I’m so excited.  See?  I CAN buy my cat’s love.  

- BJ remains a jealous (but cute) little shit machine. 

Happy New Year, kids

I’m way late, but my (new) cat was in my lap and I didn’t want to move lest I frighten her off.  Sadly, I sneezed and she fled anyway.

Here’s a read more for things of a (really) personal nature.  

Keep reading

I have two stitches in my toe, an achy arm from that stupid tetanus shot (ugh, I should’ve lied (not really)), and rxs to fill. It’s raining now (WHY) and I really don’t want to take my ~sexy surgical shoe out in the rain to do it. Everything huhuhuhurrrrrts.

On the plus side, I took tons of pictures of my toe and I am going to gross out as many family members as I can. In addition to the entertainment value, those pictures just look cool tbh.

Also, my carpet is just gonna have to stay looking like a crime scene until the top of my toe doesn’t feel like it’s coming apart at the literal seams.

This has been your daily qp update, though not the good news I promised earlier. That will come when I’ve properly settled in and have dealt with my toe.

in irl news, my body is still attempting to fight off the last vestiges of sickness, the holidays are awful and stressful and make me want to jump off a bridge, i finally moved back into my room and the cats have not moved with me (i am distressed), i am jealous of sansa (my cat) because, for the first time, i woke up without bj snuggled up with me (he was in her room), and finally, i was talking to my cat and told her that i’d forgotten her epessë (sassypants).  out loud.  in all seriousness.  i am deeply disturbed and considering curbing my tolkien intake.  

that one time, at my hotel

so, as you know (or don’t), i’m having a six week course of medical treatment in [city], which is two hours away from where i live.  thus, i live in a hotel during the week and go home on weekends.  

i’m beginning my third week now, so the employees at the hotel mostly know my face and sometimes, we even chat.  one of the managers, in particular, is really lovely and we’ve spoken several times.  we were talking today about what i’m going to be making with those groceries that they picked up for me (lulz, apparently, the staff was trying to figure out what i’m gonna fix).  

aaaaand then she gave me this:

she had a bucket (a small one, but a bucket) in her office  (someone picked them, apparently.) and she dumped part of it in a pan and gave me this.  so now i have fresh blueberries.  for free.  my day sucked, but my evening is turning out surprisingly well.