shut up mom!

not to sound like an Abused Kid™ but parents and other adults are untrustworthy and can turn on you without a moment’s notice

okay so who wants to hear about the pearl bus driver dream i had in like, 2015

it’s a short story but it’s a fuckin wild ride

so like the dream started out normal

i got up for school, ate breakfast and ran out to the bus

but then when i got on the bus. pearl was there. in the driver’s seat

i was confused but i didn’t ask any questions about it

then i looked at the seats. the bus was full of cartoon characters. i remember seeing gumball watterson, the powerpuff girls, and pinkie pie

i sat in the back next to wander from wander over yonder

and he was like “hey do you like school” or something. and i was like “bitch no”

and then suddenly the bus bursted into flames

and pearl turned her head around 360 degrees and her eyes rolled into the back of her head

and she death screamed “BUCKLE UP FUCKERS AND PREPARE TO DIE”

and then the bus went into maximum warp overdrive and the sonic CD american boss battle music was playing in the distance like a fucking battle horn in war. and pearl was laughing. she was laughing evilly

and then we anticlimactically crashed into a tree. and the bus bursted into flames again. and then everybody died. and then i woke up

instagram

😂😂😂

there are a lot of reasons that i love talia as a mother figure for jason, but a very prominent one is just imagining the kinds of hilarious and petty arguments he and damian get into

damian, in the middle of his draco malfoy phase: my father will hear about this!

jason: we have the same dad

damian: …my mother will hear about this!

jason: we have the same mom, you little shit

this is tracee ellis ross’ disembodied voice gassing me up & me about to scream “SHUT UP YOUR MOM’S DIANA ROSS!!!!” at her before we flexed together

In case you missed this magic moment during Mark’s LiveStream

Mark: My brother made me prank call 9-1-1 when I was a very young kid.

Ethan: That’s horrible. *laughs*

Mark: Yeah it was horrible for me because like, he was just like, I was like, what, SIX maybe, at the time.

Ethan: How old was he?

Mark: He would have been EIGHT, so he wasn’t much older, but he knew what 9-1-1 was and it was only for emergencies only. So he was like, “Hey, hey Mark if you dial 9-1-1 something cool will happen”, or something like that and so I do it. I call and there’s some angry voice. “9-1-1 WHAT’S YOUR EMERGENCY?” and I’m like, “UH… *click*”

Ethan: Oh!

Mark: And they call back! Like, if you get a hang-up they call back cause they’re like, ‘oh maybe they’re having a heart attack’, and they call back and I’m like, “I’m sorry… It was an accident…” And then like this very gruff voice is like, [cause I get it I’m not saying anything is a bad thing it’s just like, “HOW’D… DO YOU KNOW THIS IS FOR EMERGENCIES?!” and I’m like, “I DON’T KNOW *high pitched scared boys voice*” and I hang-up again.

Ethan: Oh NO!

Mark: And they like kept calling back and it’s just like, “AH!

Ethan: Did they send cops to your house?

Mark: No they were gonna I ran up to my mom like, “BAHHH… MOMMMM! *crying boys voice* BAHMEHGUH *unintelligable crying boy voice* I CALLED 9-1-1 WHAT DO I DO?!” She get’s like, she gets on the phone and they yell at her and there’s like, she’s like, 

“HE’S SIX! HE’S SIX!" 

and it goes like and she’s like, 

"HE’S SIX YEARS OLD!”

my mom, very angry at the time, 

“BHE’S SIX! DON’T YOU GET IT! SHUT UP!" 

So my mom was just yelling at the police for a while and they’re like, ”DO WE NEED TO SEND A CRUISER OVER THERE!“ 

NO!! HE’S SIX!! SHUT UP!!

Ethan, Tyler, Amy, Kathryn: *laughing*

Mark: Yeah, I got grounded for a while.

Langst Headcanon No.7

Lance’s insomnia was almost unbearable after they arrived at the castle, and when he did sleep it was choppy and easily disturbed, so he wore the headphones to block out the hum of the ends and occasional rumble of the ancient ship. After he was late for training though, they were confiscated and Lance had an even worse time sleeping.

  • Woozi: Everybody shut up, my mom is on the phone!
  • Woozi: *Picks up phone* Hi mom.
  • S.Coups: HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
  • Wonwoo: Come back to bed!
  • Jun: *Various sex noises*
  • Joshua: Tell her I said hi!
  • Hoshi: Aye pass the weed.
  • Jeonghan: PUT YOUR PANTS BACK ON!!!
  • Bones: Everybody shut up, my mom is on the phone!
  • Bones: *Picks up phone* Hi mom.
  • Kirk: HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!
  • Sulu: Come back to bed!
  • Chekov: *Various sex noises*
  • Spock: Tell her I said hello.
  • Scotty: Aye pass the weed.
  • Uhura: PUT YOUR PANTS BACK ON!!!