shut up i think i'm hilarious

anonymous asked:

8 sunbathing :)


Izuku is spread across the beach towel sunbathing, his bare chest glistening with sweat and sand, his arms pillowing his head as he snoozes. The rest of the class is scattered along the shore and boardwalk, soaking in the sun and the ocean, and happily going about their own activities.

“Dude, you’ve been staring for nearly an hour.”

“Shut up and die.”

Snickering, Kaminari takes the half eaten sandwich from Katsuki’s hand and scarfs it down when Katsuki barely reacts, eyes intent on where Izuku is napping a few yards away.

“Bakugou, you really need to man up,” Kirishima says from the other side of the picnic table where he’s distractedly eating his own lunch. 

Sero nods encouragingly beside him, his face serious and a little desperate, adding on, “It’s been three years. Just go talk to him or something? I hate to say it, but this is getting a little painful to watch.”

Kaminari flinches back, expecting explosions and yelling, along with the usual and unconvincing denials. But Katsuki only continues glaring at Izuku, before he finally stands with water bottle in hand and a quiet hiss of, “Fine.” 

“Go get him dude,” Kirishima whispers with two thumbs up, Kaminari and Sero gaping as Katsuki walks mechanically towards their sleeping classmate. The Class 1A girls pause their conversation to watch as well.

Katsuki looms over Izuku for a long moment.

“Is he… just going to stand there?” Kaminari whispers, alarmed as the minutes tick by.

Sero buries his head in his hands.

Finally, finally, Katsuki moves. Kaminari groans as he watches his friend hurl the bottle of water into Izuku’s gut, screeching over Izuku’s pained and surprised spluttering, “IF YOU’RE GOING TO SLEEP ON THE BEACH, MAKE SURE YOU DO IT IN THE SHADE AND STAY HYDRATED, YOU MORON.”

“K-Kacchan, what?!” Izuku coughs, clutching the bottle and his stomach as Katsuki stomps away. The girls all groan in unison, Ashido actually going so far to theatrically cry into Uraraka’s shoulder.

“Dude,” Sero says despairingly as Katsuki thunders by. “What the fuck.”

Katsuki pauses and his scowl twists into something a little more wide-eyed and disturbed. “I… panicked,” he says faintly.

“Oh my god,” Kaminari whispers as Katsuki kicks up sand in his retreat. “He’s absolutely hopeless. What are we going to do when Midoriya actually does start dating someone?”

“I don’t think you have worry too much,” Kirishima replies, grim and nodding his head to the side. Kaminari turns and catches an eye full of Izuku’s fond, exasperated smile, gingerly holding Katsuki’s water bottle like it’s a gift from god. The three friends watch as Izuku stands and trots slowly after Katsuki, a big dopey grin growing on his freckled face as he goes.

“Somehow, this is worse,” Kaminari says, and Sero sighs in commiseration.

anonymous asked:

Markiplier fandom: Gosh, that last video was SO funny! *sips tea as Jacksepticeye fandom runs around screaming* And that painting challenge? Hilarious, I'm in stitches and I think I could die from laughter! *raises voice over the Jacksepticeye fandom catching fire and crying at the mention of stitches/wounds/death* That Darkiplier song was sick, too! *Jacksepticeye fandom explodes with theories* Would you all please shut UP some of us are actUALLY CALM FOR ONCE.

*sprints past you with head on fire*

C-calm?…. What is this “calm” that you speak of?! I know nothing about it for the past few days now! ahAHAHAH AHA H A H A! 

Must be nice to be in a fandom where your icon isn’t hinted/ foreshadowed at being severely hurt or killed by their evil alter-ego, again!

*whisper* help us. we need it.

Jack:  ‘Doomfist,’ huh?  You live up to that name?

Akande: *pinches the bridge of his nose with one mighty hand* No, that’s not–

Jack: What’s the matter, you not up to it?

Akande: ….

Jack:  You chicken?

Akande: …

Jack: Bok.  *waggles ass*   Bok.

Akande: I’m going to fuck you so hard your eyes fall out.

Reaper:  It won’t shut him up.  Nothing does.

anonymous asked:

I don't know if anyone has thought of this before but in a parentlock type situation, Sherlock would watch tons of kids movies with Rosie, which means he would have seen The Bee movie at some point. Imagining him being super excited about a movie about bees then huffing and critiquing it the whole time while John flicks his ear or something to shut him up is hilarious to me. Also, now that I'm thinking about Sherlock watching kids movies I'm wondering who his fav Disney princess is. Maybe Belle?

ADFASCASFSADASD NONNY OMG. Listen, I’m not big on parentlock but totally can see this ASDFASDF.

And then he’s criticizing the logistics of the whole movie, LOL. We all know Sherlock secretly wants to be a disney princess, and he was waiting for his prince to come (ie. JOHN). Hmm, I dunno which princess he would like? Maybe Belle, because she’s so brilliant and doesn’t take shit from anyone… though I think maybe also Merida because he loves her no-nonsense approach to life and her desire for freedom and her taking the initiative to take control of her own future. Hee hee.

Hmmm! What d’yall think?

wee-chlo  asked:

Monster Baby Headcanon: Honestly, I'm sort of torn. Because on the one hand, it absolutely makes sense that there'd be a specific ritual involved, something special to create this little tiny brand new extension of this relationship. But on the other, kids just sort of appearing (especially between two really good friends) is sort of hilarious. "OH MY GOD" "Awwwww, you REALLY like me! That's embarrassing!" "Shut up, we've been friends for years." "... He has my eyes- AWWWWW" 'I SAID BE QUIET."


The only people I could think of when I read that were the npc’s that everyone loves (incLUDING ME)

anonymous asked:

you are trying to hard to be funny.

I can’t believe we have to have this conversation

  • Bae: come over
  • Me: sorry, I have to go to bed. Lin-Manuel Miranda just posted his goodnight tweet.
  • Bae: But my parent's aren't home
  • Me: I don't think you understand

Did someone say Miss Officer and Mr. Truffles fanart?? :D

Dude, I had so much fun doing this, you don’t even know xD
Thank you so much to lemonteaflower for drawing the first pictures so beautifully and getting all of this kick-started! :3 I haven’t been so inspired and excited to draw in maybe ever~! And now I’m practically drowning in ideas and such for these guys, it’s awesome~!!

And also, just a personal headcanon I developed whilst drawing her, if I may share: she’s not terribly fond of her first name for whatever reason (whether we use the inspiration officer’s real name of Roxanne or otherwise) and decides to go by her middle name, Michelle, which she likes to shorten to Missy. Most people she knows formally (i.e. some of the other officers) call her by her first name still, but her family, friends, and girlfriend (another headcanon to be discussed later~) call her Missy or even just Miss.
Which ALSO comes into play–surprise surprise!–when people call her “Miss Officer” out of respect/etc, because they’re actually calling her by her “real name” whether they know it or no, and she personally thinks that’s hilarious ;D

I wish everyone would just shut the fuck up about what VIXX doesn't have and start talking about the shit they have. Like actual quality personalities unlike a lot of shitty idols. Oh and talent? Yeah they can pretty much all sing and dance. They're all hilarious as hell oh and gorgeous. But NOOOO all haters think about is the damn awards.
  • Crutchie: I wanna beat the other fellas to the street.
  • Crutchie: *Falls from the roof and clings on to the rail*
  • Crutchie: Jack, HELP!
  • Jack: *Stalks over*
  • Jack: Oh, Crutchie.
  • Crutchie: Jack what are you doing I'm hanging off of a freaking-
  • Jack: If only there was
  • Crutchie: Jack I swear to God
  • Jack: someone
  • Crutchie: JACK STOP
  • Jack: out there
  • Crutchie: JACK SHUT UP
  • Jack: who loved you
  • Crutchie: GOD DAMMIT JACK

anonymous asked:

As a fellow common person, I am very offended at the insinuation that mages are people. I, and many other common people I have met, have only known mages to be cold-hearted, destruction machines. That is why Starkhaven should absolutely save Kirkwall and take it under their superior control. I hope you see reason. Praise Andraste!

Hawke: Who the fuck gave Sebastian the wifi password? I thought we changed it after he vowed to murder my husband

Varric: We did! I have no idea how this happened

Anders: …You do realize the password is Mages4Life, right? You really think it would be that hard to guess?

Hawke: …

Varric …

Both, simultaneously: Fuck

Oh my fucking god, I’m dying. Bless you, anon (fyi there is context over here)

bangtan as stupid sh*t  I’ve said

Namjoon: Do you think horses are used as currency?
Seokjin: I’m very tempted to eat sand right now
Hoseok: I work so hard to come up with a hilarious pun and even incorporate a picture and you disrespect me like this
Taehyung: Shit man if you gotta lick an armpit to show affection then I say go for it
Jimin: My bright white smile could provide light for 4000 galaxies
Jeongguk: Haha sucks to be old you dusty bitch