shut up don't even look at me right now

  • what she says: I'm okay
  • what she means: Can I say my shit? Can I say my shit? I've got lots of shit to say. I've got lots of shit to say. I can't fit my hand inside a Pringle can, I have a huge amount of trouble fitting my hand inside of a Pringle can. I can get my hand like four inches into the can but then I have to tilt the can into my mouth but then a bunch of crumbs have accumulated at the bottom of the can so they all go spilling onto my face. What I'm trying to say is the diameter of Pringle cans is way too small. I'll say it again. The diameter of Pringle cans is way too small. Two radiuses of a Pringle can is way too small. If you feel me, put your hands up, Come on! If you feel me, put your hands up! Look at all these hands that are way too big to fit inside of a Pringle can! Your hands are too big to fit inside a Pringle can, your hands are too big to fit inside a Pringle can. You think you can, I know you can't, you think you can. Pringles! Listen to the people, I am sure ninety percent of the complaint letters you get are about the width of your cans?! Just... make them wider?! I've overdone the Pringles thing, sorry. I want to have a daughter. I want to have a daughter so I can finally have someone around the house who can fit their hands in the Pringle can. Yes, I'm still on the Pringle cans thing! Yeah! I'll move on, alright? But that is priority número uno. I don't go to the gym because I'm self-conscious about my body but I'm self-conscious about my body cause I don't go to the gym. Irony can be so painful. That's a Catch-22. Let's do this! I went to Chipotle, I went to Chipotle, got myself a chicken burrito. I went down the line and I got all these ingredients and at the end of the line the guy tried to wrap the burrito but half of the shit inside the burrito spilled out. He still wrapped it. I was like, dude you should have warned me! You're a burrito expert, you should have told me halfway through: "Hey, man. You might be reaching maximum burrito capacity here" Do you fucking think I want a messy burrito? No one wants a messy burrito! The whole appeal of the burrito is that all of the ingredients are contained within the confines of the tortilla. I wouldn't have gotten half of the shit if I knew it wasn't gonna fit in the burrito! Alright? Look I wouldn't have got the lettuce if I knew it wouldn't fit! I wouldn't have got the cheese if I knew it wouldn't fit! I wouldn't have got the peppers if I knew it wouldn't fit! I wouldn't have got half of it! Like, I'm okay with small mistakes, if you've got no more chicken I'll take pork. But I'll blow my dad before I eat a burrito with a fork. I wouldn't have got the lettuce if I knew it wouldn't fit, I wouldn't have got the cheese if I knew it wouldn't fit, I wouldn't have got the peppers if I knew they wouldn't fit. Man, I wouldn't have got half of it, like half of it, like, half of it, like, half of it, like half of it right now,I think it's time I think it's time, I think that we break this down. I can sit here and pretend like my biggest problems are pringle cans, and burritos. The truth is, my biggest problem's you. I want to please you but I want to stay true to myself. I want to give you the night out that you deserve but I want to say what I think and not care what you think about it. Part of me loves you, part of me hates you, part of me needs you, part of me fears you. And I don't think that I can handle this right now, handle this right now. I don't think that I can handle this right now. I don't think that I can handle this right now, I don't think that I can handle this right now, I don't think that I can handle this right now. Look at them, they're just staring at me like, "come and watch the skinny kid with a steadily declining mental health and laugh as he attempts to give you what he cannot give himself." I don't think that I can handle this right now, I don't think that I can handle this right now. They don't even know the half of this right now, they don't even know the half of it. But I know I'm not a doctor, I'm a pussy, I put on a silly show so I should probably just shut up and do my job so here I go. I wouldn't have got the lettuce if I knew it wouldn't fit, I wouldn't have got the cheese if I knew it wouldn't fit, I wouldn't have got the peppers if I knew they wouldn't fit, I wouldn't have got half. You can tell them anything if you just make it funny, make it rhyme and if they still don't understand you then you run it one more time. I don't think that I can handle this right now (Haa!) I don't think that I can handle this right now (Hoo!) If you think that I can handle this right now (Haa!) Right now (Haa!) Now, handle this right, handle this right, handle this right now.Thank you, good night! I hope you're happy.

krusca replied to your post: I forgot how many emotions I have abou…

(i want to hear these emotions abt percy weasley…i dont think ive heard anyone have strong feelings for percy lmao)

Oh man okay so like. I love all of the Weasleys. So much. But Percy somehow became just, one of my favorites at some point, I think after Goblet of Fire had come out? IDEK, this was literally like…. when I was in highschool, so probably back around 2001 or 2002 (I’M OLDER THAN A LOT OF YOU, OKAY?) and I RP’d Percy a lot and shipped him with Oliver Wood and just. Percy tries SO HARD to be successful and shine bright in a large family when he already has two older brothers who are super cool and popular and have these awesome jobs and are totally hot, and then he has these younger twin brothers who are so loud and friendly and GOOD despite how irritating they are and then Ron and Ginny are the babies and Percy just. I mean, he gets good grades but Charlie and Bill probably did too so Percy’s like “okay I have to be Prefect and Headboy” since he’ll never have the looks or popularity his brothers had and he LOVES THEM ALL so much okay, he really does, and he knows he’s an asshole to them sometimes, but he’s so exhausted from just trying to get his own feet under him and guys he’ll totally get the respect he’s due while he’s at the ministry, and he HATES that he has to toady to some really gross people, but he’s just trying his best okay. But he loves his family so much and he just wants nothing more to make them proud, despite how pompous and snotty it makes him seem and it is canon that he will fucking DESTROY people for the sake of his brothers so like man, don’t even look at me right now I’m having too many feelings about Percy Weasley and his inappropriate crush on Oliver Wood, cool Quidditch Captain and all around Hot Guy and he doesn’t know what TO DO WITH THESE WEIRD FEELINGS FOR HIS FRIEND WHO IS TOO COOL FOR HIM ANYWAY. /gross cries

  • Blaine: We need to talk. I don't have your number and I don't have your email and we're not friends on Facebook, because I made it a point of waiting for YOU to friend ME which you never did by the way. So here I am, face to face, I just want to hear you admit it.
  • Elliott: Admit what?
  • Blaine: That you are trying to steal Kurt away from me, Starchild Gilbert.
  • Elliott: What are you talking about?
  • Blaine: Please, I was onto you the second I saw you that weird cinnamon roll selfie you took months ago. You guys posted it, remember that? I get to New York and all the sudden it's "Elliott thinks this" and "Elliott thinks that" and "Elliott's hair is so full and thick that he doesn't have to rely on hair gel." Well, I may not be a cool, steampunk, glitter rock vampire with my tats and guyliner, but you know what? I love Kurt. I love him! He is my fiance, not yours, so back off.
  • Elliott: Okay, are you done? Take this.
  • Blaine: What?
  • Elliott: Take this, it's like a body pillow, I think it's going to calm you down. Look Blaine, I'm not after Kurt. We're just friends. Don't get me wrong, he's a cute guy, but I don't think of him that way, and even if I did, Kurt loves you. I mean he doesn't ever shut up about you.
  • Blaine: I'm sorry, I don't know what's going on with me. It's just that we've been apart for so long and now that I'm here, I just want to catch up to him. I just want to make it real and the more I try
  • Elliott: ...the more it pushes him away? Well, maybe you should stop trying. Hey look, New York is a really crowded place and people need a little more room to breathe here than usual.
  • Blaine: You're right. I guess I always think of boundaries as walls instead of places to grow.
  • My brother is watching GMW because he liked the pilot and in the first eps he was like "Rucas and Markle are endgame" and then he started to watch season two and well in this season he was like...
  • My brother: "I don't ship Riarkle but why Farkle keeps looking at Riley" "So why they show us Lucas when Maya is talking?" "Maya likes Lucas, that is obvious" "You see Riley face, she is like how the hell does Maya know about Pappy Joe?" "Smackle and Farkle holding hands? That's nothing" "It looks like Farkle likes Riley"
  • My brother again: "Why is Lucas so perfect? HE WILL BREAK SOMEDAY" "So they just showed us a... how do you call it? A riarkle scene? They said I love you and that's all?" "Farkle's face. Interesting" "I knew Lucas likes Maya but will someone ever let him speak?" "Farkle is so in love with Riley"
  • Me: You know you are shipping Riarkle and Lucaya right now? And that you are acting like a fangirl, right?
  • My brother: Shut up! I don't even know what lucaya is.
  • My brother: But are we gonna ignore the ways Lucas looks at Maya? And Riley, Farkle and the ice cream? I mean, the ice cream! And...
  • Proud of my brother ≧﹏≦