shut up clyde

CLYDE: I DON’T WANNA DO THIS ANYMORE!

CLYDE: CAN’T WE JUST GIVE HIM A WEDGIE INSTEAD OR SOMETHING?

CRAIG: No.

CLYDE: Why do I have to be the one to do this?!

CRAIG: Do you really expect Jimmy to go all the way up there?

CRAIG: He has crutches, Clyde. 

JIMMY: Ye-yeah.

JIMMY: And Timmy is in a wh-wh-wheelchair.

CRAIG: You’re so inconsiderate of others, Clyde.

CLYDE: But if I move I’m gonna fall off and what if I break my neck or what if I DON’T fall but I get a bunch of SPLINTERS in my FEET because the top of the doorway really isn’t a place I should be STANDING on, I already FEEL like I’m getting splinters–

CRAIG: Look, all you have to do is jump down onto Token when he walks in.

CLYDE: This is taking jumpscaring to a whole new meaning, dude.

JIMMY: I think I hear him coming up.

CRAIG: Okay Clyde, shut up.

CRAIG: When the door opens, just jump down. You’ll be fine I think.

CLYDE: :(

CLYDE: HSYJFT#&UY#HSGEDF%AF

JIMMY: Whoa, that’s spooky. N-no-nobody’s there!

CLYDE: I… hate you guys.

CLYDE: I don’t actually mean that, but my 589385 broken bones hate you.

JIMMY: Di-did the door open by itself?

CRAIG: That’s impossible.

TIMMY: Timmy…

JIMMY: I agree. Maybe we should check it out.

CRAIG: I’m out.

CLYDE: Wait what?

CRAIG: Yeah, I’m not doing it.

CRAIG: If this house is suddenly haunted, I want no part in it.

CRAIG: You guys can go get murdered by ghosts or whatever, I’m just going to sit on this bed and wait for it all to be over.

JIMMY: B-but what if–

CRAIG: But nothing.

CRAIG: I’m not doing it.

CRAIG: This is probably just Token trying to pull a prank on us anyways.

CLYDE: UNBELIEVABLE!

CLYDE: WHAT IF TOKEN IS DOWNSTAIRS FLAYED ACROSS THE KITCHEN TABLE LIKE A SCARY GHOST DINNER???

CLYDE: GHOSTS ARE NO LAUGHING MATTER, YOU.

CRAIG: I don’t care.

CRAIG: I’m going to wait it out.

CLYDE: You would be the worst character in a horror film, you know that?

CRAIG: Oh no. Whatever will I do. You’ve burned me so bad.

CLYDE: So you’re totally fine with Token and Tweek being haunted by ghosts downstairs, then.

CRAIG: If they were being haunted, you can bet your ass that we’d hear Tweek from all the way up here.

CLYDE: UNLESS HE WAS SPOOKILY KILLED BY GHOSTS.

JIMMY: W-w-wow, the logic all adds up.

JIMMY: I can’t believe it-it’s a real life haunting.

CLYDE: GO DOWNSTAIRS, BE A BRAVE LITTLE 10 YEAR OLD BOY AND SAVE TOKEN AND TWEEK FROM BEING STRUNG LIKE GHOSTLY STRING BEANS YOU ULTIMATE FUCK.

CRAIG: Fine! If I go will you stop yelling? Your voice is cracking and it’s kind of pathetic.

CLYDE: Proud of you!

CRAIG: God damnit.

Characters rep songs??

Ok so I really enjoy listening to music, I do it everytime aaand, I also enjoy sp, so I will put here my headcanon songs for some of the characters, yeah



CLYDE: His money.
TOKEN: … Thanks.
CLYDE: Just kidding! I, uh, don’t know? He’s cool, he’s my best friend, man. I can spend so much time with him without getting bored.
CLYDE: And unlike everyone else he doesn’t tease me for crying too much. And he’s super smart and usually the voice of reason whenever the rest of us does something stupid-


CLYDE: Aw, are you flustered cause I’m praising you?
TOKEN: Shut up.
CLYDE: You can praise me too!
TOKEN: Well, Clyde’s… He’s an idiot.
CLYDE: Your definition of praising is different than mine.
TOKEN: But he’s like, you know, our idiot. Everyone needs a Clyde. He can make me laugh and he’s actually not as stupid as many people think.
CLYDE: Okay, you can stop now, you’re making me blush-
TOKEN: And you’re nice. You stand up for others and don’t care when people tease you for it. And I like that you’re not afraid of your emotions and-


TOKEN: Please forget I said any of these things.
CLYDE: Dude, what? No way! That’s like the nicest thing anyone has said to me. You’re so in love with me.
TOKEN: Oh my god.
CLYDE: I should tell this Craig, maybe he’ll be nicer to me too.
TOKEN: Don’t you dare.

CRAIG: What could possibly give you that impression.
CLYDE: Yeah, Craig doesn’t mind! He’s totally cool with it!
CLYDE: Right, dude?
CRAIG: I don’t care about a lot of things you do.
CLYDE: See? That’s just how he is.
CLYDE: “I’m Craig, I don’t care about things.”
CLYDE: “Clyde shut up, you’re so annoying.”
CLYDE: “Clyde you can’t eat an entire pizza in one bite.”
CRAIG: You can’t.
CLYDE: “You can’t, I’m Craig and I’m grumpy and I suck.”
CRAIG: Fuck you, I don’t talk like that.
CLYDE: “I don’t talk like that, I’m Craig, I’ll do whatever I want.”
CRAIG: You wanna bet, fucker.

CRAIG: “Check it out you guys, I’m Clyde! My sunny disposition is offset by the asinine and terrible shit that I say!”
CRAIG: “Now watch me do something stupid for attention, because I want to imitate every single frat boy, ever!”
CRAIG: “I’m going to tell people I care about them and then treat them like absolute fucking garbage! I treat relationships like disposable commodities! I’m Clyde Donovan!”
CLYDE: Ha, oh my God! That’s so me, though!
CLYDE: You’re so good at that, Craig!
CRAIG: Fucking unbelievable.

2

CLYDE: Oh my God, okay. I know the entire story, it’s so great.

CLYDE: You won’t be able to hear it from anyone else because Craig and Tweek don’t want to talk about it, and Token and Jimmy weren’t even there, but just– oh my God.

CLYDE: So basically, what happened was–

CRAIG: There’s a reason why we’re not talking about it, Clyde!

JIMMY: Jesus C-c-christ, Craig.

CLYDE: I REFUSE TO BE SILENCED! THE PEOPLE WANT ANSWERS AND I MUST DELIVER THEM!

CRAIG: Dude, seriously! We don’t need you spreading shit on the internet!

CLYDE: I WILL BE HEARD!

CRAIG: Shut up!

CLYDE: NEVER!

CRAIG: Ugh– Tweek, help me shut him up!

TWEEK: Oh Jesus!

CRAIG: Now!

TWEEK: Okay! Okay.

CRAIG: Wait, what are you doing?

TWEEK: Just trust me!

CLYDE: Actually I’m kind of curious, too.

TWEEK: Mr. Clyde’s dad? Uh…

TWEEK: Clyde said he didn’t finish his homework!

CLYDE: WHAT!

TWEEK: And also he skipped class today!

CLYDE: THESE ARE LIES!

CLYDE: DECEIT! TREACHERY!! BETRAYAL!!!

CRAIG: Have fun, dude.

CLYDE: Come on, I didn’t even say anything yet!

CRAIG: Just the way it should be.

TWEEK: You should… probably get going, your dad sounds pretty mad!

CLYDE: God damnit!

~continued from [part 1] ~


Kenny: You said “anyway” as if you were disappointed.

Craig: I’m giving up. You’re hopeless.

Tweek: That’s not- Ah! Nevermind. Shut up Kenny.

Clyde: CRAIG! Graig, my man, my buddy, my grumpy egg, I have amazing news! My parents aren’t home this week-end which mean we gonna par-taaaaaayyyy. You’re all invited.

Craig: Woah. Hey Clyde.

Kenny: Count me in!

Tweek: I’m not sure I–

Clyde: Perfect! 7pm friday night, bring some booze. Alright, see you later guys!

Kenny: See ya!

Craig:

Tweek:

Kenny: What’s up with him?

Craig: He’s a jock, that’s what. Are you really planning on going to his party?

Kenny: Hell yeah!

Tweek: I don’t know! Maybe I’ll stop by but parties make me nervous.

Craig: I guess I’ll go too then.

Tweek: That’s your best chance to find a boyfriend before the end of the week.

~To be continued~

[CONTINUED]

CLYDE: Hey!
CLYDE: How’d it go?
CRAIG: Fine.
CLYDE: So, nobody beat the shit out of you?
CRAIG: No.
CRAIG: Just. It’s over.
CRAIG: I did it, okay?
CLYDE: Yeah, I’m proud of you, man!
CLYDE: You faced your fear!
CRAIG: I wasn’t afraid, shut up.
CLYDE: That’s not what you told me.
CRAIG: I hate you.

CLYDE: Hey, come on. You said you quit.
CRAIG: Trying. Trying to quit.
CLYDE: That doesn’t look like trying to me.
CRAIG: Leave me alone.
CRAIG: I need this.
CLYDE: You said that about the last one.
CRAIG: Knock it off.
CRAIG: Just. Please.
CLYDE:
CLYDE: Sure, dude.