shut up and get out of my life

anonymous asked:

So I'm dealing with a lot of dysphoria and my dad is being more rude than usual. My dad told me it was all the LGBT+ communities fault that trans* people came to cis people's attention in bathrooms and he won't let me buy boxers or men's deodorant. My mom also told me that she couldn't buy me boxers, then said she'd order it offline and didn't offer a quicker solution until I started to cry. I explained to my mom that I was having crippling dysphoria. I just needed to get this off my chest hah.

Tell your dad to shut up and at least your mom is on your side and buying things offline for you. I hope they came in. 

Try sitting down with your mom alone and explain everything and then she can go to your dad and explain to him. 

Your dad sounds like a pos so if I was in your situation I’d cut him out of my life and I’d try with your mother cause at least she’s trying to meet half way with both her husband (a pos) and you, her child. She still cares and wants you to be happy but is also trying to please your pos dad.

When it gets bad again, it’s not that I have to will myself to get out of bed or shower; it’s nothing like that. I can wake up with the brightest smile, sing in the shower, and then laugh all day long if I want to. It’s this tiny moment that gets me. It’s when I pull into my driveway after school, shut off my car, and sit in silence. My body is numb, my mind is killing me, and I can’t will myself to move an inch. It’s like I’m watching the world pass around me and no one can save me.
  • Blue going grocery shopping with Ronan 
  • “Ronan, stop nO YOU CANNOT BUY 50 MAC AND CHEESE BOXES ADAM IS GOING AWAY FOR 3 DAYS NOT 4 YEARS”
  •  “Excuse me I lost my daughter, Blue can I make an announcement?” “yeah sure” “goodbye you little shit, this is what you get for not letting me buy my Mac & cheese”
  • “Gansey slow down you’re going to get us killed” “I died twice and came back both times don’t tell me what to do Adam”
  • “Gansey you’re late” 
  • “A Gansey is never late, nor is he early, he arrives precisely when he means to” 
  • Adam:???????????????????
  • “I slept through my alarm“
  • Ronan blasting 22 by Taylor swift when he turns 22 and everybody just looks at him like????? Ronan Lynch knows other songs than Irish and metal songs????
  • Ronan: “Gansey Can you please pass the salt?”  “Can you pass your classes?” 
  • “My goal in life is not be the best but inspire people to try their hardest and make better choices in life” “Adam you say that everytime I beat you in UNO” “Oh look at me I’m Blue and I’m the best in UNO and i don’t give my friends any chances to get the sense of acomplishment at least once in their life ” “Adam shut up”
  • Gansey wishing for Noah back every birthday before blowing out his candles
  • The gangsey and everybody in 300 Fox way gathering in Persephone’s death anniversary, knitting and baking her favourite pies and cakes.

Things that fucked me up in The Foxhole Court series (warning: spoilers):

  • Every single time Andrew did something just because Neil asked
  • “He pressed Andrew’s palm to the ugly scarring across Neil’s abdomen” 
  • Dan’s entire existence as the biggest boss in the galaxy
  • “You are a pipe dream.”
  • “I am not a pipe dream.  I’m not going anywhere.”
  • Renee saving Jean
  • Renee doing literally anything
  • Wymack hating that Neil flinches away from him and doing everything he can to prove he’s the good male role model Neil deserves???
  • RESPONSIBLE AND CARING ADULTS
  • “You hate me, remember?” “Every inch of you,” Andrew said.  “That doesn’t mean I wouldn’t blow you.” ANDREW LMAO
  • SHOWER BLOW JOB/CODDLING/ANDREW FINALLY LETTING GO ENOUGH TO LET NEIL SEE HIM FEEL PLEASURE (partly because he can’t bear to leave Neil’s side to take care of it alone FUCK)
  • “Yes or no?”
  • VIGOROUS CONSENT and Andreil knowing each other well enough to tell when the other isn’t in a good enough place to consent even when they think they are??
  • Neil calling Andrew a “drama queen” behind his back
  • Nicky getting the happiness he deserves in Erik
  • “Who’s humanizing who in that relationship, anyway?” NICKY OMFG
  • Andrew needing to map every single scar/wound on Neil’s body and Neil letting him
  • Andrew saying “I told you not to look at me like that” after Neil stares at him with fucking giant anime heart eyes when the sunlight hits his hair
  • Matt and his spikey hair (/everything)
  • Casual 3 hour bus chats where Andreil loses track of time smh
  • How fucking short Andreil is???  5 foot **nothing*** is right
  • Neil saying he wants a vacation and Andrew almost cutting Kevin’s dick off when he tries to get in the way of it
  • BED SHARING IN THE CABIN ffs
  • Honestly that whole woodland retreat with team bonding took me the fuck out
  • “The only one I’m interested in is you.”  Demi!Neil is watering every crop in my field??
  • “Thank you.  You were amazing.”  (aka me @ Nora Sakavic)

anonymous asked:

andreil pda around the foxes pleaseee my soul needs it

my marvelous anon, i am here to grant thine request, with a small side of accidental lowkey renison. enjoy <3. also on AO3.


He did it. He actually did it. After months of constant warnings and threats, Wymack finally followed through.

Neil can do nothing but stare at the flyer in his hand, mildly in fear and majorly in shock. A mere thirty seconds prior, Wymack had stormed out of his office brandishing this piece of paper like both a white flag and a declaration of war. He had paused just inside the lounge, making sure to gather everyone’s attention, before striding over to Neil and shoving the flyer in his face.

“This is for last weekend,” Wymack had said. “I already—don’t give me that look, you know exactly what the fuck I’m talking about. I already signed you up. It starts at 8:00 AM on Saturday, and unless you want your ass glued to the bench for the rest of the season, I suggest you be there.” He had then turned back around and disappeared into the hallway, leaving a room full of confused and curious Foxes in his wake.

A full minute passes before chaos breaks out and everyone starts moving at once. Various forms of “What the hell?” can be heard from all corners of the room. Neil blinks as the flyer is yanked out of his hand. He looks up to see Andrew, his eyes scanning the paper. Andrew looks up at him, and Neil’s heart nearly explodes because this look on his face, it looks like the honest-to-god beginnings of a smile. And sure, it’s at Neil’s expense, but he would embarrass the fuck out of himself at every turn if this was his reward. Andrew moves to hand the paper back to Neil.

“Okay, seriously,” Kevin huffs out with impatience as he pushes through his teammates. He snags the flyer away from Andrew who couldn’t be bothered to stop him. Kevin reads aloud, “The Annual Hilton Head Island Marathon…a MARATHON? Really, Neil?! Is this a joke?”

“I don’t know, Kevin,” says Andrew, his voice taking on the persona of a kindergarten teacher. “Did it look like a joke to you?”

Kevin’s only response is to scowl and shove the flyer into Neil’s chest. “This better not affect your performance at our game on Friday. You don’t get to take it easy just because you have to run 26.2 miles the next day.”

By the time Kevin has stormed out of the building, the rest of the Foxes have commenced their team wide freak out.

“Seriously?! He actually came through on that threat?” Dan is caught halfway between being genuinely worried and dying of laughter.

“Neil…bro…what the fuck…” Matt says from somewhere on his left, placing a consoling hand lightly on his shoulder.

“Oh my god, Neil. We have to be there. I have to witness this historic moment. You finally get to put your insane running habits into practice,” Allison is rambling from across the room.

“Wait, what was Wymack talking about ‘last weekend’? What did you do?” Asks Nicky, unaccustomed to being out of the loop.

Keep reading

Things I've actually heard college students say
  • “Look how pretty my notes are!! Too bad I’ll never study them”
  • “I might look fine in class but I’m dying inside" 
  • “I’ve never seen frozen and at this point i’m afraid to" 
  • "when the professor shows up I’m just gonna get up, make eye contact, and leave”
  •  ”shut the fuck up and eat your shitty frosted flakes”
  •  ”Is it acceptable to throw myself out the window after we take this exam”
  • “I need more gay people in my life I’m suffocating in straights”
  •  ”I think I’m just gonna sleep outside and let the snow bury me until I die”
  • “why the fuck would i pay 5 dollars for a grilled cheese? oh wait they’re delivering them? ok buy 3”
  • “i feel like a child but i look like an adult and i think it throws a lot of people off”
  • “yo look at this dog! i want this dog. this dog is straight g”
  • “I got super drunk and told everyone I was a lesbian” 
  • “I’VE ONLY DONE ANAL TWICE OKAY”
  • “instead of studying art we should MAKE ART WITH OUR BODIES”

feel free to add anything you’ve heard

anonymous asked:

Marichat "don't be fucking rude" prompt (your writing is great btw)

Thank you anon! I am glad you like my writing ^_^ (I should be writing more stories, but I am sniffly and finding doing long form hard so i am taking a break by doing drabbles. Hopefully it will clear my head enough to finish the chapter I wanted to get done today!) 


WARNING: Some strong language and suggestive themes! You have been warned.


“What are you staring at?” Marinette cried at last, whirling in her chair to face Chat Noir who was mere inches from her face. 

“hold still, I am trying to count your freckles,” he said completely unperturbed by either her close proximity or her glowering expression. 

“Have you ever heard of personal space?” she hissed, “Don’t be fucking rude!” 

Chat blinked but showed no other sign of being deterred by her wrath. “I can’t count your freckles accurately from across the room, now hold still.” 

Marinette groaned but did as he asked, figuring it was easier to just indulge his insanity and get him out of the way then try to argue with him. She had no idea what had lead to Chat Noir’s bizarre visit today, or his sudden unprecedented interest in her life, if his non-stop questions earlier were anything to go by. 

“Are you almost done,” she whined, trying not to think about why she was finding his closeness so unsettling. 

“Just about,” he grinned, and her heart gave a traitorous little thrill. He really was unfairly pretty. 

“You have 27 freckles across your nose,” Chat said leaning in even further until their noses bumped. “And just for the record princess,” he said his voice dropping to a sultry whisper, “I am not fucking rude. When I am fucking I am extremely accommodating,” and before she could move he darted forward, kissed the tip of her nose and hurriedly ran away, laughing. 

The next morning Marinette trudged blearily into class. Her night had been restless, in no small part to the flurry of daydreams brought on by Chat’s parting comment. Even her icy cold shower this morning had done little to stop her wandering mind or flushed skin. 

“Good morning my bestest best friend who I know far better than Adrien know’s Nino!” Alya crowed as she dropped down into her own seat. 

“Are you two still going on about that?” Marinette sighed, dropping her head against the desk and wondering if she could try sleeping through class, or if she ran the risk of subjecting herself to another Chat-infused dream session. 

“This is the last day of our epic battle,” Alya said with feigned shock at Marinette’s disinterest. “I am going to 50 Euro richer before class even starts. Where do you want to go for lunch?” 

“What if Adrien wins?” Marinette ask, cracking one eye open and looking up at her friend.

“Eh, he gets to pick my next 3 articles on the Ladyblog. But there is no way he is going to win. He would have to get my question right- doubtful- AND I would have to get his wrong, and there is no way Adrien knows anything about you that I don’t already know.”

“OK,” Marinette mumbled. Closing her eyes again. 

“Ah the man of the hour and his supposedly hertosexual life mate,” Alya cried. 

“We like to keep our love free from the tabloids thank you,” Marinette heard Nino say and Adrien let out a light laugh.  

“OK Agreste,” Alya said, “my final question, to see if you know my boyfriend as well as I do-”

“He does, you’re gonna lose babe.” 

“Shut up honey.” 

“Just giving you a head’s up.” 

“What,” Alya continued, “Is Nino’s favorite childhood ice cream flavor?” 

“Trick question- Nino didn’t have Ice cream till you took him to get some on your guys second date.” 

“Damnit! Still, you haven’t proven that you are the most observant person in this little circle, you still haven’t given me my question. Despite your impressive line of questioning thus far, I defy you to come up with something about Marinette that you know and I don’t.” 

Marinette was glad her face was plastered against the side of her desk to hide her flaming face. 

“OK,” Adrien said mischievously, “how many freckles does Marinette have across her nose?” 

Marinette’s eye shot open. 

“You don’t know the answer to that,” Alya said warily. 

“Just answer the question,” Adrien said smugly, “or do you admit defeat?” 

“19,” Alya said nervously. 

“Wrong, 27. Looks like I win.” 

Whatever response Alya was about to give was cut off by Marinette’s loud, piercing scream. 


Four Sentence Prompts: 

Warning- I will NOT be taking repeat prompts! Only one drabble per prompt! (See the list here: http://baneismydragon.tumblr.com/post/159474846531/reposting-so-i-can-edit )

Voltron as Alarm Clocks AU

How do I keep ending up doing these? I have learned way to much about alarm clocks in the past hour. 

Keith: The “Shoot to Shut it off Clock”

Pidge: The “Retro Cool Clock but a Pain in the Ass”

Lance: The “Just Slam the Damn thing” Clock

Hunk: The “Oh my God it makes Bacon” Alarm Clock

Shiro: The “Shiro is a ticking time bomb how much time do we have left with him if Shiro dies we riot, wheres Shiro oh my GOD” Clock

Allura: “The insults you till you get Out of Bed” Clock

Coran: “The Classic Annoying” Alarm Clock

This is the life I chose. Enjoy.

weirdly specific aus that have happened to me
  • i work at an injury prevention clinic and i told you to treat your injury with RICE (rest, ice, compression, elevation) and the next day you brought me five different brands of actual rice and asked which would work better
  • we don’t know each other but you proposed to me for a klondike bar at a student involvement fair and i actually said yes
  • we were innocently driving down a dark highway in separate cars when a police car pulls behind us and turns on its lights, so we both pull over into a Starbucks parking lot because we didn’t know who the cop was after, but it turns out he was after the car behind us and now we’re just staring at each other in a parking lot and flashing one another big smiles and thumbs-ups for driving safely and obeying the law
  • excuse me, i’ve been sitting in this seat since the semester started, and i know that college doesn’t have a seating chart, but that is still my spot that you’ve taken and i will gladly take it back if you could just scoot your boot somewhere else, and no, giving me your number will not change my mind
  • the fire alarm went off in the science building during our chemistry lab and our teacher told us to stay while he went to check to see if it was a drill or not and left and it’s been 10 minutes and he hasn’t come back, and you and I wonder whether we should keep titrating because we’re finally getting it or evacuate
  • i wanted to see if my leg would fit in the hole of the chair and it did, but now i’m stuck and you had to help me out. two weeks later, i decided to see if i could do it again, and i got stuck again, and you just stared at me and starting laughing. you still helped me out though.
  • you were playing wheelchair basketball and i’m the medic working the game in case of injury or emergency, and you ran over my foot with your wheelchair, and i think you broke my toe??
  • you tried to scale the building and got your shoe stuck in the ivy/vines on the brick work, and now you’re knocking on the window and asking me to toss your shoe up to you
  • you said you didn’t think i was brave enough to kick you in the balls, so i did to prove you wrong, and now you’re on the ground in pain, and i don’t know whether to smile victoriously or cry
  • i tried to jump off the bench into your arms, but you weren’t expecting me, and you just saw this large object flying at you so you backed up quickly, and i’m on the ground, there’s two of you, and oh my god, do i have a concussion?
  • you were being polite and holding the door open for me, and i jogged to the door so you weren’t standing there for a while just holding it open, but when i got there, you slammed it shut and i banged my face against the door. only then did i realize that a squirrel tried to get inside through the open door, so you shut it to keep the squirrel out, but now you opened it back up and are apologizing because i have a bloody nose, and you feel awful and are walking me to the nurse’s office.
Jealousy - Jeff Atkins x Reader

Request - “Can you do a Jeff imagine where he gets jealous and then turns into a hot make out sesh?”

(This kinda has a bad-boy Jeff feel to it i guess)

It had been a week since you’d spoken to Jeff. A week since you’d had one of the worst arguments yet. A week since you’d felt good. Jeff was your everything, and being in a bad place with him made you feel bad to your very core.
But tonight, was your friend Jess’ party, and you had to go, for her. You would just have to avoid Jeff as much as possible.

You were here, but you were anxious to go in. So you stood behind a tree in the front yard until you’d downed the cider you’d brought with you for some liquid courage. You’d worn your lucky red lipstick.

“Right.” You muttered to yourself, before starting towards the door.

The party was as you expected it, you did enjoy a good party every now and again, but the worry tonight was seeing Jeff. You’d had a huge fight because Your close friend Zach had said something unclear, that gave Jeff the impression that you had been cheating on him with Zach. Of course, you hadn’t. Zach hadn’t meant any harm, but the way rumours spread was insane. Everyone left right and centre believed it was true, and were convincing Jeff off it, too.

You saw Hannah and Clay by the drinks and decided to go join them.

“Hey guys!” You grinned.

“Oh hey Y/N…” Clay stuttered, “Here have a drink.” He said, handing you a red cup. “H- Hannah why don’t you show Y/N the bathroom.” He was tripping over his words.

“Uh, Clay, I know where the bathroom is.” You laughed, a perplexed look on your face. Hannah laughed and started to move toward you.

Then, Jeff came out from behind the two with three drinks, and you realised what Clay had been trying to do.

“Right.” You nodded. “Imma go outside.” You awkwardly pointed toward the door and dashed outside. You knew Jeff had seen you, but you just weren’t prepared to face him yet. It hurt that he hadn’t believed you.

You sat down on a vacant chair in a relatively empty part of the garden with your drink, annoyed at yourself.

“Hey, Y/N. You all alone?” Montgomery De La Cruz appeared out of no where and sat in the seat next to you.

“Uh, I guess.” You shrugged.

“Nice. You having fun?” He asked.

“Not really.”

He put his hand on your knee. “I’m really sorry to hear that, Y/N, maybe I can help make the night better for you.”

Before you could even muster up a response, a booming voice emerged from the shadows.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing man?” Jeff was not one who got angry often, but this was him at his angriest. He was probably a few drinks in, and had pent up anger from the previous week. “That’s my fucking girlfriend! Get your goddamn hands off her or I swear to god-” he was pulling Montgomery by his collar away from you and his jaw was clenched.

“Jeff stop! It’s fine.” You cut in, standing up so fast that your drink fell over.

“No it’s not fine! This pretentious douche bag thinks he can just hit on my girlfriend and I won’t notice?” He shoved him.

“Jeff!” You shouted again. “He meant no harm. It’s not exactly like you’ve been acting like my boyfriend for the past week, so I don’t know why you are now.” The salt in your voice stung. Jeff looked taken aback, but his fist remained clenched.

“Man I’m outta here, not worth it.” Monty’s voice cut through as neither of you had really been paying attention to him, and he slithered back into the house.

“You clearly don’t get it.” He snapped.

“I’m not having this fucking argument again.” You moved in toward him, throwing your hands above your head.

“Don’t bother then!” He scoffed, stepping inwards.

“I won’t!” You spat.

“Fine.”

“Fine.”

“Great.”

“Fucking fine.” He was so close now that you could feel his hot breath on your face.

He smiled menacingly and his jaw was tight. His eyes were boring into yours. Then in one swift movement he crashed his lips to yours and grabbed your waist roughly. You kissed him back fiercely and tugged at his hair. His tongue slipped into yours and you breathed heavily through your nose. His hands were hot on you and the kiss was deep and knee-buckling. He moved his mouth down to your neck, and pressed kisses all over, before coming back to your lips and increasing the hormone driven atmosphere that parties often had. You were shivering ever so slightly from the cold, which Jeff must have sensed.

“Bedroom. Now.” Jeff whispered roughly against you, pressing on your hips. You nodded and reluctantly broke away from him, to go back in the house and find somewhere unoccupied. You re entered the house and turned back to look at Jeff. He had your red lipstick smudged all around his mouth.

“Nice look, Atkins.” Clay Jensen remarked as he passed. Jeff shook his head, clearly uncaring, and followed you up the stairs.

Once you found an empty room you resumed eating each others faces. Jeff lifted you up under your butt and you wrapped your legs around him.

“I’m so sorry…” you breathed between kisses.

“Oh believe me, I’ve never been more sorry in my life…” Jeff chuckled against you. “I knew I should’ve believed you… but everyone was telling me not to… I’m sorry…”

“Shut… up…” you struggled. He brought you down onto the bed with him and lay you down, pulling a leg over him.

“Damn… didn’t… realise… week… long time…” he eventually managed to get out.

Idiot. You thought to yourself.

scandal sentence starters aka lots of angst, sex, and murder.

send one for my muses reaction! Feel free to change any gender or anything that needs changing in order for it to make sense to have come from your muse.

It’s only day 2 for this shirt, and these panties are fresh from the dryer. ❞
I don’t need you to forgive me. I haven’t done anything wrong. ❞
I’ve always forgiven you until now. ❞
I can never tell if you’re lying. I can never trust my gut when it comes to you. ❞
Are you spying on me? You don’t trust me? ❞
How do I choose the box to bury my friend in? ❞
If he dies, he can’t talk. Dead men tell no tales. ❞
When you walk in here, you make me hope. Hoping is bad for me, so do not come back here unless you are back for good. ❞
When it’s your turn, you can talk, but right now, be quiet. Let yourself be kissed. ❞
It’s always his turn, despite the fact that I’m the one you like to ride, that I’m the one that makes you moan, that I’m the one who reaches you in places that he can’t begin to touch. ❞
We can hide in the shadows or we can stand in the light. ❞
I’m not gonna live in your apartment, waiting to service you. I have things to do. I’m busy. But, I did book a nice hotel suite for booty calls. ❞
Do you actually think I give a damn what anyone thinks of me anymore? ❞
A broken heart is a broken heart; to take a measure is cruelty. ❞
You can’t summon me. You are not in charge of me. ❞
Did you think I’d want you back? ❞
I am less than interested in whatever it is you have to offer. ❞
You thought I would be dragged in here and I’d lay eyes on you and I’d gasp, and I’d rip off all my clothes and crawl on my knees over to you and beg you to take me, that I’d be some kind of sad porn fantasy. ❞
I could have anything I wanted, and I wanted you. You can laugh at it and make fun of me, but the truth is, nobody else wants you. ❞
I’ve lost too much. I’ve given up too much. I’m not even a person anymore. ❞
I’m not like you. I’m sorry you miss me, but I’m not like you. ❞
Why are you picking a fight with me today? ❞
You’re thirsty, but you’re not here for a drink.❞
You’re here because you want what you’ve been fantasizing about ever since you left the other night. ❞
I can give you what you want just the way you want it. ❞
You either go home alone and try your own hand at quenching that thirst or go upstairs with me and replace that dry lump in your throat with something much more satisfying. ❞
Trust me; I will be the one standing over you when you die. ❞
You keep secrets from me. You make me feel small. ❞
Burying yourself in work isn’t always the best thing when you lose someone. ❞
I’ve got enough blood on my hands already. ❞
Don’t ever leave me like that again. I almost didn’t survive. I almost died without you. ❞
You have been waiting for this moment from the second I got in bed with her. ❞
It doesn’t matter what the truth is, does it? The only thing that matters is that I put my hands where you think they don’t belong, and now I’m in chains. ❞
I am going to have you destroyed. ❞
He’s a predator, an animal, a killing machine, and just because you’ve decided to turn a blind eye to that doesn’t make it any less true. ❞
I think you want me to be guilty. Guilty lets you hate me for things you’re not allowed to hate me for. ❞
If there’s any part of you, any part of you at all, that believes that I’m telling you the truth, you’ll help me. ❞
You may have never heard what it sounds like when she wakes up screaming from a nightmare, but I have, and it’s awful. ❞
The truth is like the sun. You can shut it out for a while, but it’s not gonna go away. ❞
Since us bitches have got to get through this dog and pony show, I’m gonna need you to sit down, shut up, and follow my lead. ❞
Is she right about you having nightmares? ❞
Don’t let love cloud your judgment. ❞
We both know in the end you’re not going to choose me. And that’s okay. I want you to know, I need you to know, not choosing me is okay. ❞
I keep my promises. I will watch the life fade from your eyes. ❞
I love her. Does that matter to you at all? ❞
It stops you every time, the arrogance, the need to swagger, to show everyone who you are. ❞
True power hides in plain sight. ❞
You and I are ruined. We don’t have a chance now. Too much has happened. ❞
I know you’re trying to be rational, and I understand why, but you can’t pretend this is okay. ❞
I mean, I figure we have two choices here - we can either pretend this unbearable sexual tension doesn’t exist, or we can address it head-on. ❞
You are beautiful. The face that launched a thousand ships. ❞
What is it that is so special about you? You have so much power over him. He revolves around you. ❞
He needed you. He was in pain. He wanted to die. ❞
I could protect him from everyone. Except you. ❞
I wanted to shoot him. I didn’t, but I wanted to. I wanted to kill him. I wanted him dead. ❞
I’m very powerful, you know. Some women would find that a turn-on. ❞
Let’s just say I’m in a giving mood tonight. ❞

NHL!Bitty, Part V - Single

The first openly gay NHL player can’t be single in Seattle! 

Since Eric can’t risk telling anyone he has a boyfriend (especially a closeted NHL-er), his only option is to play along as the Schooners go out of their way to find Eric a boyfriend. This wouldn’t be a problem if his well-meaning teammates didn’t keep trying to introduce him to other closeted players, of which there are more than he would have guessed. Now Eric has to survive a night with Kent Parson.

Origin: From Samwell to Seattle | Part I - Hug Check | Part II - Chirping |  Part III - Post-Season | Part IV - RPF 




As the first openly gay player in the NHL, Eric is used to being locker rooms filled with guys bundled up so tight a TSA scanner couldn’t find their genitals; but then there’s stuff like this. Brazen nudity of the ‘I recognize you’re attracted to men, look how cool I am with it’ variety. His new captain leans toward the latter in a way that would make Shitty proud.

“Bittle, we’re going out with a few Aces. You met Kent Parson?”

Mitchell ‘Cricket’ Crocker is pushing 30 and already going gray. He’s also standing in front of Eric’s stall, naked as the day he was born, unconcerned with the fact his junk is at Eric’s eye-level. 

Keep reading

  • MLM content in Mass Effect: Ugh, fine you homos here's two MLM dudes. No squadmates, only one counts towards the achievement. One is down in the basement so we don't piss off the straights by making him even marginally visible and the bi romance is heavily skewed towards F!Ryder anyway. Now get out of my Caucasian home.
  • MLM content in Dragon Age: Here's two MLM squadmates. One is entirely, exclusively gay. You can romance both of them, and their romances received just as much care and attention as the straight romances. And the gay squadmate's backstory entirely revolves around empowering him for his queerness and touches on LGBT issues in real life. Oh and if you don't romance either of them they hook up and never shut up about all of the hot, sweaty man sex they keep having, because fuck heteronormativity and fuck The Love That None Dare Speak. Oh and we've been doing this sort of thing since 2009. Anyway, what's good Montreal?
Dating Sam Winchester would include:

Originally posted by berezneva12

·         Him being your big overprotective bear

·         Him getting irritated when you call him that

·         “Grrr…”

·         “Stop it Y/N.”

Keep reading

☆ ———– MTV SCREAM SENTENCE STARTERS.

❛ I mean, call me crazy but I think we’re in Freddy vs. Jason territory here. ❜ 
❛ It’s like the killer is combining these two legends into one brand new murder spree. ❜ 
❛ I was expecting crazy Ralph from Friday the 13th so nope. ❜
❛ I’m barely responsible for myself.  ❜
❛ I thought you said this was going to be a mansion.  ❜
❛ I know my mansions, this is really more of a bungalow. ❜
❛ We’re trying to lure the killer and you show up.  ❜
❛ I’m sorry, this is a pretty classic “don’t let him in” situation, right? ❜
❛ I guess I didn’t think of you as the hospital visit type. ❜
❛ You know the whole, horrible, embarrassing story. ❜
❛ You broke my heart! I loved you, okay, and you broke my heart. ❜  
❛ That’s a pretty outdated way of thinking. ❜
❛ Virgin? Seriously? Where did you learn to do that? ❜
❛ It’s a terrible movie, but one hell of a sex scene. ❜
❛ See this is why people think you’re creepy. ❜
❛ Do you think I’m creepy? ❜
❛ I’m sorry, this isn’t the right place. ❜  
❛ This is the stupidest, most insane thing ever. ❜
❛ The only thing scary here is this dress. ❜
❛ I’m not a stranger, okay, I’m just strange. ❜
❛ That’s never gone bad for anyone in a movie ever. ❜
❛ First shut up, second, it’s just a study session.  ❜
❛ I get that you’re scared, but I understood. ❜  
❛ We all have our ways of coping.  ❜
❛ The kid screwed me over and skipped town. ❜
❛ This is my life. Not some stupid campaign. ❜
❛ You mean looking out for my boobs? ❜
❛ Are you flirting with me? ❜
❛ Thank God because this drink is undrinkable. ❜
❛ If one of us gets hurt, we all get hurt.  ❜
❛ Second chances are rare. Don’t waste them. ❜
❛ I’m making a knife stick. ❜
❛ I need, like, a Men in Black brain wipe. ❜
❛ Is that a pig? God, I’m never eating bacon again. ❜
❛ I’m the only one who knows how to reset the router. ❜
❛ Well we don’t want you getting arrested.  ❜
❛ If I can’t trust you, I can’t be with you. ❜
❛ Aww, you wanna come in the hot tub with me? ❜
❛ The weak are outed and then eaten. ❜
❛ It’s the time honored enforcement of the food chain. ❜
❛ Considering my ex-beau might be a mass murderer, who am I to criticize? ❜
❛ Love the colors, but the spots? Too much. ❜
❛ I can’t believe you two came here without me.  ❜
❛ Hey, we could team up: Bi-curious and the Virgin.  ❜
❛ I was gonna be the Babadook, but then my mom made this cape. ❜
❛ What? No, you love taco Tuesday. ❜
❛ So, pretty much everybody’s a suspect, including us.  ❜
❛ I think this is the beginning of a beautiful mutual tolerance.  ❜
❛ Cue creepy murder music. I knew I was missing something. ❜  
❛ You’re not going to die! Tonight, we change the ending.  ❜
❛ Oh, crap. I’m gonna die. ❜
❛ Actually, we could all use a minute. ❜
❛ Hey, um, thanks for saving my life. ❜
❛ Boom, but then what? Take a victory lap around the pool? ❜
❛ We know what you’re going through, and we’re here if you need us.  ❜
❛ I’ve never seen him/her with his/her mouth shut before. ❜
❛ Maybe it’s time to dig a little deeper. ❜
❛ Pick one, slay one, console one, then repeat.  ❜
❛ What made him/her start killing people? ❜
❛ Okay, not a lesbian, not discussing it. ❜
❛ You root for them, you love them, so when they are brutally murdered, it hurts. ❜  
❛ You have to care if the team wins the big game. ❜
❛ You have to care if the smart, pretty girl forgives the dumb jock. ❜
❛ You can’t do slasher moves as a TV series. ❜
❛ You wanna feel the sting of this sexually-confused Atheist’s foot up your butt? ❜  
❛ Hey, hey! I made you microwave popcorn, remember?  ❜
❛ I know you want the truth. So, let’s find it. ❜
❛ A yearbook? That’s not so weird. ❜
❛ That’s the world’s saddest crime fighting duo. ❜
❛ No, I’d rather channel my anguish into something productive. ❜  
❛ Did you just try to tase my man parts? ❜
❛ There are not enough happy face emojis in the world to express how much I needed that. ❜ 
Best Mistake - Part 1 - Smut

Originally posted by prettiestcaptain

Author: @dumbass-stilinski
Rating: NSFW 18+
Pairing: Stiles Stilinski/Reader
Words: 2,347
AN: IDK I WANTED TO WRITE THIS DON’T JUDGE ME. There’s some Polish in here, I used Google translate so it may not be correct. I left the word meanings at the end. Thanks to @writing-obrien and @celestial-writing for being my pals. Also his hand looks so yummy in this gif. okay bye.



This wasn’t how this was supposed to go. You sat and stared at the little white stick in your hand, the little pink plus sign mocking you. Your eyes swept across the floor to see the other discarded tests around your feet, all with the same result. You were pregnant.

Keep reading

Hickeys (Jughead x Reader)

Prompt: Hi! :) I absolutely adore your blog and I was wondering if you could do a Jughead x Reader oneshot where the the reader has a hickey and Veronica points it out so everyone is teasing her all day to find out who it’s from and they eventually realize it was Juggie? Thank you <3

A/N: Sorry if it’s not as good as you thought it would be! (It’s literally 3am here and I feel like banging my head against the wall. I literally haven’t slept in so long dear god.)

Masterlist

Warnings: Swearing? Mentions of hickeys. Jug’s a little shit. 

Hickeys (Jughead x Reader)

Beep. Beep. Beep.

“Shit. Juggie, Wake up!” You push yourself off your bed and glance at your sleeping boyfriend.

He just groans and rolls over.

“No. We have school today and you have to get up! We’re gonna be late.” You grab his arm and tug.

He tugs back, pulling you against his chest. “A few more minutes, (Y/n).” He leans down and kisses down your jaw.

You let out a whimper as he nibbles down your neck, leaving hickeys along the way.

“Fine.”

Keep reading

Bitch - Part 2

2,500 Followers Oneshot

Word Count: 1,834

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Part 1


“It’s pretty shady that you were so close by. You’re not stalking us are you?” Dean barks obnoxiously, stomping by you on the way to Baby. Having just finished the poltergeist case, the awkward tension is painfully palpable.

Expecting an immediate wise ass remark, Dean pauses and quickly turns his head. He witnesses you and Sam having a silent conversation, automatically causing his blood to boil.

“I live around here.” You state calmly, unfortunately your nervous habit of biting your bottom lip betrays you.

“Wait…” Dean aggressively slams the trunk shut then bolts in your direction.

Keep reading

  • Person: Okay, but why do you watch Let's Plays of games you have? It's not the same as playing yourself, you know.
  • Me: You know, sometimes I'm interested in the story of games I'm awful at and watching someone else play (with optional funny and/or informative commentary) is a lot more pleasant than punching the monitor out of frustration.