shut up Chrissy

Me: wow im so excited for season 3 of stranger things!

My brain: lets be honest its just going to be mileven fan service, they’re probably going to make will straight and you and i both know it

Me, through my tears: shut up i said i was excited

  • Hoseok: i like you
  • Yoongi: can you excuse me for a moment?
  • Yoongi, loudly from the bathroom five seconds later:
  • FUCK
  • Hoseok: umm
  • Yoongi, returning: cool cool

I read Hamlet back in high school and to this day my absolute favorite thing about it was when Guildenstern was trying to fool Hamlet into doing something or other and Hamlet’s savvy to it but rather than saying “you’re lying and trying to trick me” instead Hamlet outta nowhere whips out this flute and tells Guildenstern to play it.

And Guildenstern is all “I dont know how to play a flute, my lord”

And Hamlet takes a dramatic pause before he absolutely ruins Guildenstern with, “Well thats funny considering you thought you could play me”

Listen. I’m gonna level with you. I’m gonna be straight with you. I’m gonna be up front about this.

I already don’t know what Overwatch is. There’s a gorilla and some lesbians and guns but yall never play the gorilla I don’t know. And then sometimes if that wasn’t bad enough sometimes you go and just invent new Overwatches. Like just when I’m getting a handle on what “Junkrat kin discourse” is yall show up with “This is my new OC her name is Grandma Sniper” and then SHE’S part of the Overwatchers. “This is Swedish Beefcake” could yall? not?? I still don’t know what a Hanzo is. I know it’s an insult but I don’t know what it means.

“This is my new doctor OC she hangs out with Angela Mercy her name is Moriarty” yall are just making things up now. no one’s explained the gorilla yet. put the doctor away yall already have like a fucking half angel or something. stop just adding characters to the cast i still dont know what the plot is. whats the plot?? no one ever talks about the plot i just know Soldier 69 and his best friend Anakin Skywalker had a fight about something. is there a plot??? i dont think there is!

I’m pretty sure yall are just playing Super Smash Bros and you’re like “yeah uh huh theres a plot theres lore see Grandma Sniper used to be part of Overwatch the Prequel” but then yall just play 10,000 hours of SSB with 18 Grandma Snipers on the field and two Junkrats going “yeah deep lore”

Whos. Whos even the Turgbjorn guy? What did he do??

Cons of being a northerner: it’s cold

Pros of being a northerner: you never need to know a single other topic of conversation. Everything and anything can be about the cold. You don’t even need a personality. Saying hi to a friend? “Wow is sure is cold today!” Confessing to a loved one? “Hey I heard the windchill is gonna be -35 tonight. Haha wild!” Been stabbed in the leg and need to make small talk with the paramedic? “Hey I didn’t even know I was stabbed, since you know the cold was stabbing me already. Hahaha you feel me. Or not! We’re numb. I’m gonna Snapchat this with the temperature filter.”

Cheer 6

Cheerleader Waverly. Basketball star Nicole. A sort of canon-ish HSAU inspired by *that* snippet of the S2 trailer. Catch up on AO3! Only a couple more parts and maybe an epilogue left. :)

Waverly felt shitty. Because she was shitty. A shitty shit-ticket who was shitty to Nicole. Kind, sweet Nicole who had done nothing more than be her usual endearing self. Had even given Waverly the jacket off her back, for chrissakes. Unconsciously, Waverly buried her nose in its collar. She breathed in the clean scent of detergent with hints of sandalwood, and a fresh surge of guilt rippled through her. Because how did Waverly repay Nicole for her kindness? By twisting a knife in her heart.

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