shrimp on the barby

7

•MY FATHER’S REACTION TO SOME OF THE CHARACTERS FROM YURI!!! ON ICE•
Above are the exact photos I showed him—

(1/?)

1) Yuuri Katsuki
Dad, confidently: “Oh, I know him. That’s Yuri.”
Me: “Age? Country?”
Dad: “Japan…um…17?”

2) Viktor Nikiforov
Dad, while laughing: “Umm…Yuri??”
Me: “Ok, (laughing) age and country?”
Dad: “Kasakstahn…19”

3) Yurio Plisetsky
Dad: “That’s a…that’s a Jill. Jill’s 14”
Me: “He’s a guy…they’re all guys…”

At this point, my sister, who had also seen yoi, and I are laughing hysterically.

Dad: “No way…ok, um…Jerome?”
Me: “…sure, dad”
Dad: “He’s got a big attitude…that’s and Australian. He’s thinking about throwing a shrimp on the barbie right now”

4) Otabek Altin
Dad: “That’s-uh…Miguel”
Me: “Ok lol where’s he from”
Dad: “…Spain…he’s 19”

5) Jean-Jacques Leroy
Dad: “That’s Spain’s(referring to otabek) brother…that’s Juan”
Me: “Country?”
Dad: “England”
Me: “Age?”
Dad, without hesitation: “37”

6) Chris Giacometti
Dad:“Whoa, Justing Beiber 2008”
Me: “Name and age?”
Dad: “That’s-uh…that’s Justin, he’s 20. Like, tomorrow’s his 21st birthday and he’s planning to get VERY drunk. He’s gonna get…lit.”
Me, dying of laughter: “And where’s he from”
Dad: “That’s a Canadian if i’ve ever seen one…Mr…frosted tips…”

7) Phichit Chulanont
Me: “Name, age, country?”
Dad: “…Dora from Venezuela…he’s 13. And those are his hamsters, ee-nie, mee-nie, and mine-nie.”

Overall—

Me: “So, Dad, bonus points if you can tell me if they are gay or straight”
Dad: “I’m gonna give you a little spoiler…they’re all gay…they’re figure skaters.”
Me: “Ok, you have a point, but still…”

Yuuri- “gay”
Viktor- “Gay”
Yurio- “oh it’s jill, well i guess she’s straight”
Otabek- “gay”
JJ- “gay”
Chris- “SCREAMING GAY…THE GAYEST OF GAY”
Phichit- “…gay furry”


Me: “Ok, Dad, final and most important question. Are you ready?”
Dad: “I’ve never been more ready”
Me: “Two of the characters that are gay are actually in a relationship. Which characters?”
Dad: “Yuuri…and…um, Viktor???”
Me: “YES! YOU GOT IT!”
Dad: “BOOM! NAILED IT! that’s worth 98% right there”

I think it’s pretty safe to assume that my Father has very little knowledge of Yuri!!! On Ice. If he got it right, it’s most likely because of him hearing my rants😂

Imagine dealing with drunk Chris.

A/N: Man, oh man. I just can’t stay away from writing, can I? Well, at least majority of my holiday stuff’s packed. This is another fic inspired by a conversation with the lovely @chrisevans-imagines We have some very weird, but oddly inspiring conversations. Don’t we, Ava? 😂

You pushed your way through the crowd as you searched the overly packed party for your best friend, Chris, who had drunkenly called you ten times in the last hour; it was 2:19AM. He could count himself incredibly lucky that you were finishing up some paperwork at the hospital otherwise you would’ve killed him for interrupting your much needed beauty sleep. You’d been pulling quite a few late nights over the past week as you were about to take leave and go on your holiday, so things hadn’t been particularly easy on you. But you knew before you went into med-school that being a doctor wasn’t going to be easy, what you didn’t know was how much harder it was being a doctor who was best friends with Chris Evans; a man who had the equivalent energy of his puppy, Dodger. If you weren’t so in-love with him, he wouldn’t get away with half the things he put you through. But you were, so here you were at the party.

“Hello beautiful.” An arm hooked around your waist and pulled you into him; you groaned and pushed the drunken stranger off you. “Geez, lighten up!” He called after you as you disappeared further into the room. If you didn’t find Chris in the next five minutes, you were outta there.

“Hell yeah I’ll get it in!” You heard Chris’ voice and you followed it, chuckling when you found him by the ping pong table. “Don’t you worry, I'mma get it into that cup.” He bounced the ball off the table and balanced it on the back of his hand as he swallowed another gulp of his beer. “Watch me nail this th-” He spotted you and his smile tenfold. “Y/N, you came!” He downed his drink and tossed both ball and red solo cup aside before making his way to you, waving off the protests that came from the other players. “Sorry guys, I’m done. My girl’s here,” he draped an arm around you and pulled you closer to him.

“I’m not your girl, Evans.” You reminded him, but made no effort to push him away from you like you had with the other guy; you were very glad that the dim lights hid your deeply flushed cheeks. “I’m just here to make sure you don’t drink and drive, the last thing I need is to be called back in because someone got into a car accident.”

“Awww,” he cooed, squeezing you tightly against him. “Was someone worried about little old me?” You rolled your eyes, but failed to hide your smile. “Don’t be, my best friend’s a very good doctor. She’s very pretty too, like- she could be on Grey’s Anatomy.” He slurred then grinned when he heard you chuckle. “And that’s you,” he booped your nose, “I’m talking about you.”

“I know, and I’m talking about me too when I say I’ve had a very long night and I’m ready to go home.” He nodded with furrowed brows, really trying to process your words. “C'mon,” you wrapped an arm around his waist and directed him towards the exit, “you’re crashing at my place tonight. I’m not leaving you here when someone could literally tap beer out of you.”

“Yes!” He cheered. “I love your apartment, it smells like Christmas because of all the candles you have.” You hummed in acknowledgement at his drunk thoughts. “Hey, you know what’s really funny?” He didn’t wait for a response. “When I read your texts, I read it in an Australian accent because you’re from Australia. I do the same with Chris Hemsworth’s,” he told you then laughed to himself. “G'day mate,” he mimicked a tradition Australia greeting then laughed again.

“I’ve never once texted that to you, nor have I said that to you,” you chuckled. “And since when do I have an Australian accent? I’ve been living in America since I was eighteen, and you know I watch too much American television and too many Hollywood films to have an Australian accent.” The two of you found your way out of the party and into the much emptier parking lot where you car waited patiently. “But then again,” you glanced at him, “you are very wasted, so I won’t hold that against you.”

“Chuck a shrimp on the barbie,” he continued mocking the Australia accent and laughed when you did. “You’re right,” he returned to his normal accent as he pulled away from you, “you don’t sound like that.” He moved in front of you and took your hands in his, smiling like a love sick idiot which made your heart flutter despite knowing it didn’t mean what you wanted it to. “You sound perfect because you are perfect and I love you.”

“I love you too,” you responded with a chuckle, ignoring that ache in your heart. This wasn’t the first time he’d told you he loved you while he was drunk, in fact- he said it all the time when he was sober too. But it wasn’t the confession you longed for, it was just another platonic expression of affection that you shoved aside with your true feelings. “Let’s get you in bed, shall we?” You tried to pull your hands away only to have him tightened his grip.

“No,” he shook his head, furrowing his eyebrows. “You don’t understand, Y/N. I love you,” he said again in a more serious tone that made you sigh. As much as you wanted to reciprocate that feeling and kiss him, you couldn’t take anything he said seriously when he was drunk. Even if you did believe that drunk minds spoke for a sober heart, it was Chris; he was your best friend and you couldn’t ruin that friendship over a drunken slur of the moment. “I want to be with you,” he told you and pulled his hands away to cup your face.

“Chris, no,” you turned away when he started to lean in, taking a small step back. “We’re not going to do this.” You frowned when he did. “You’re drunk, I don’t want-” you cut yourself off before you said more than you should. “Let’s just go home, okay?” You brushed past him and headed for you car, stopping when he called out.

“I’m sober enough to have this conversation!” He walked in front of you with a frown on his face. “I’ve been trying to tell you I love you since the moment I met you, Y/N. But you keep brushing me off, like you think I’m not worth your time.”

“Chris-” you couldn’t believe you made him feel that way.

“Am I not good enough for you?” He asked then asked again before you could get a word in, “are you holding out for another doctor?” You opened your mouth to speak only to get cut off again, “what is it, Y/N? Why won’t you give me a chance?!” He growled and you flinched. “I don’t understand,” he shook his head, his pretty blues glistened with tears. “I’m not an idiot- I can see the way you look at me, so why won’t you be with me?”

“Chris,” you sighed as you took his hand in yours. “I didn’t know you felt that way about me, I honestly thought that you were fine with us just being friends.” He didn’t say anything, he just squeezed your hand ever so gently. “That’s why I didn’t say anything- that’s why I brushed you off. I figured you were joking, it’s not because I don’t think you’re worth my time.”

“Do you realize how long I’ve been waiting for you?” He asked with a breathless chuckle. “From the moment we met- I’ve wanted to be with you. I was just so terrified I wasn’t good enough, that you wouldn’t want to be with an actor so- I took it slow, I started out by being your friend. But God,” he started to cry and your heart ached, “it hurt seeing you with other people. It sucked saying I love you when you didn’t know how much,” his hand tightened around yours. “I’ve wasted so much of my life not being your other half and I hate it, Y/N.”

“You are my other half, Chris,” you caressed his face with your other hand and brushed the tears rolling down his cheek. “I love you too. I’m so in-love with you that it’s ridiculous,” you told him and he smiled. “There is no one I’d rather see at the end of the day than you. You are my person, you are all I see when I look towards the future,” you assured him. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, I’m sorry-” He pulled you into his arms and kissed you, cutting you off in the best possible way.

“Wow,” you let out a breathless laugh when he broke the kiss, pressing his forehead against yours.

“Yeah,” he chuckled softly, rubbing small circles into your sides, “I should’ve done that years ago.”

Tags: @chrisevans-imagines @widowsfics @m-a-t-91 @xoxomioxoxo @imaginesofdreams @ateliefloresdaprimavera @katiew1973 @winter-tospring @shamvictoria11 @caitsymichelle13 @michellekeehlmello @letterstomyself21 @soymikael @faye22 @always-an-evans-addict @sammyrenae68 @brobrobreja @elizabeth-matsuoka @thegirlwiththeimpala @camerica96 @all-of-the-above11 @captainamerica-ce @whenyourealizethisisntagoodname @yourtropegirl @smoothdogsgirl @createdbytinyaddiction @siofrataylor @dreamingintheimpalawithdean @imaginary-world-of-mine @wanderingkat77 @grantward3 @rileyloves5 @chrsmom302 (Inbox me if you’d like to be added to the tag list)

  • what americans think australians are like: g'day mate let's chuck a shrimp on the barbie haha let's go to the outback and wrestle crocodiles and ride in kangaroo pouches . .boomerang!
  • what australians are really like: oi fuckin hell darren ya stupid fuckin cunt ya fucking stole my ciggy now I can't buy another packet till me centrelink pay comes in cuz they fucking dogs fuck you darren fuck refugees
The signs as librarians quotes
  • Aries: Why is he with her? Why is she with him? WHY ARE THEY WITH EACH OTHER
  • Taurus: A five minute plan is better than nothing.
  • Gemini: Halfway decent seems like a step down from all awesome.
  • Cancer: I love you. Always and forever.
  • Leo: I don't normally like to play this card in supernatural circles, but do you know who I am?
  • Virgo: Can we not refer to the brain tumor that will one day kill me as a brain grape?
  • Libra: Now DARPA will have to solve quantum computing without cheating.
  • Scorpio: And if anyone tells me to throw another shrimp on the barby, I will punch them in the throat.
  • Sagittarius: No offense, Eve, but who doesn't want to kill you?
  • Capricorn: That would be oh so devastating if we were in 14th century Ireland and I was a simple farmer, but we're not, and I'm not, so...it's not.
  • Aquarius: Cassandra Cillian, slightly better at me than theoretical physics but we never tell her that?
  • Pisces: And we definitely shouldn't try to kill Shakespeare, right?

anonymous asked:

Here's a real question - if the English are so insistent on universal health care, why don't they use it to go to the dentist?

They do. Dental Hygiene in Britain has improved greatly. It’s a silly stereotype like all Americans are fat, all Canadians are polite and all Australians are drunken surfers descended from criminals. Well, that last one is true at least based on my own personal experience. 

I kid Australia. I love you guys except when you come over here, hog the best breaks with your short boards and steal our women with your Crocodile Dundee accents.

“throw a shrimp on the barbie”

we’ve all heard this phrase before. usually said by someone trying to do an australian accent, “throw a shrimp on the barbie” is probably the best way to make someone sound as non-australian as possible. there’s a few issues with the sentence, so i’ll break it down and help you guys come up with a phrase that might actually be used by your real aussie character. 


1. shrimps =/= shrimps

it’s true! shrimps here are very different things from what you would call shrimps in, say, america. we would call those prawns. if your character is a bit fancy, they may refer to them by their specific type; tiger and king are the ones i’ve seen most commonly. here’s a visual comparison of australian-caught prawns and sad grey lumps american-caught shimp:

most australian shrimps are way too small to be worth catching, and the only ones we have here are imported from asia. it’s worthwhile noting that prawns and shrimps aren’t the only crustaceans we may eat. moreton bay bugs (not real bugs, obviously) and yabbies are two very australian crustaceans that would probably get you an approving nod from most australians if your aussie character mentioned them casually. yabbying is pretty common if you live around the murray river, so there’s potential to have a character mention they went yabbying there while camping (or something similar). 

also, we barbecue a lot of things. chicken, lamb, veggies and fish are all likely to be seen on a bbq. skewers, too, are very big. just throw cut-up pieces of meat and/or veggie onto the skewer and bam! delicious and good finger food.


2. we probably wouldn’t use the word throw

this is pretty minor, but it’s always bugged me. throw just has never seen like the natural word that i would use. you could just say put, or even chuck or toss. throw just seems…wrong? i spoke to a couple of friends about this and we all agreed that it just sounds a bit off. maybe it’s just been used in this phrase for so many years that we’re automatically repulsed by it. who knows?


3. they ain’t called barbies

here is my biggest issue with the sentence. barbie is not what we call them. if you’re inviting someone over, you’d say “hey, wanna come over for a barbecue?” (or however you’d phrase it). don’t use the word cookout either; that’s very american. if you’ve prepared some lovely yabbies on your bbq, then you might ask someone if they want grilled yabbies. you could also say barbecued for this. 

EDIT - a lot of people, especially people that live on the eastern coast are saying that they would use barbie. little differences from state to state are important, so thanks to yall who wrote in! yall are gems


so our final sentence could be “chuck the prawns on the grill” which sounds way better and more authentic than the original. i hope you guys learnt something from this. go out and make your aussies free of stereotypes!

 - jay 

disclaimer

anonymous asked:

hey, so i know matchups arent open but are hc's open? if so i was wondering if you could do the RFA and V and Saeran reacting to an australian MC? Also i want to say that i absolutely love your blog!!!!

DUDE NOT GONNA LIE I WANNA MOVE TO AUSTRALIA BUT THAT’S NOT WHAT YOU ASKED FOR LET’S GET TO THE GOOD STUFF SHALL WE

ALSO MC MAY OR MAY NOT BE SUPER STEREOTYPED BUT ASDFGHJKL;’

707/Luciel/Saeyoung Choi:

  • First thing he would do is mock MC’s accent. 
  • In a playful way, of course. 
  • Every time MC says something particularly odd, or her accent makes sound weird, Seven will just repeat it for the whole day. It drives MC absolutely crazy.
  • Seven is definitely the one who pushes stereotypes. MC is always terrified when Seven says he has a present for her. Sometimes it’s something funny like four hundred kangaroo stuffed animals, or the three part biography of Steve Irwin. But last time he got her something, she opened the box and dozens of magpies flew out. 
  • And you wonder why MC has no eyes. at least her and v have something in common

Yoosung Kim:

  • At first, Yoosung thought MC was the coolest person. But when MC started talking about the different creatures that could show up at your house, Yoosung’s respect for her skyrocketed.
  • because ew spiders are gross and should be feared
  • Once MC thought it would be cool to bring in Seymour, her tarantula, and Yoosung almost had a heart attack. 
  • He tried to put on a brave face and hold Seymour–
  • But he ended up screaming and running out of the room.
  • MC made a mental note not to bring in her python Phyllis. 

ZEN/Hyun Ryu:

  • ZEN finds her accent hella sexy
  • He asks her to say phrases and words all the time. MC always laughs and says whatever he wants in her heaviest accent, just for him.
  • He did not expect MC to be such a drinker. He won’t admit it, but he’s 98.9% sure she could out drink him in a drinking competition, but he won’t challenge her. 
  • The horror stories she tells about the sunburns people get and how she once forgot her sunblock, almost caused him to faint.
  • ZEN now carries an extra bottle of sunscreen, just in case he or MC needs to reapply.

Jumin Han:

  • He absolutely adores listening to MC talk.
  • The way she uses slang and how she tells stories is his favorite thing. 
  • Okay, so he admits that he sometimes calls her, says he is “bored”, just so the two of them can talk. 
  • Jumin is actually considering a trip to Sydney with the RFA and have MC show them around. But he’s starting to reconsider with Yoosung’s fear of spiders, ZEN’s obsession with sunscreen, and how 707 might be slaughtered as soon as he opens his mouth.

Jaehee Kang:

  • She is actually fascinated with the things MC tells her. She has a little notebook which she keeps notes in. She keeps track of slang words, stereotypes, animals to watch out for, etc.
  • Hey, this information might come in handy one day. 
  • Jaehee is also very fascinated in MC’s pets (mostly because none of them have fur). Seymour the tarantula, Phyllis the python, Georgie the talking Parrot, Timber, Thompson, and Canterbury the piranhas, Jaehee loves them all. 
  • And fears them at the same time-

Saeran Choi:

  • He makes stupid retorts towards MC all the time because she is Australian.
  • He is the one who repeatedly says good day, mate and shrimp on the barbie all the time.
  • It’s like the only time he and Seven get along, teasing MC.
  • She has threatened them, telling them that she has wrestled a crocodile and if they do not want their spine ripped out, that they should quit.
  • They stopped after that.
  • But sometimes they do slip up, and MC always seems to need to sharpen her hunting knife.

V/Kim Jihyun:

  • V was actually taken back when MC first spoke. Australian was not what he was expecting. 
  • He doesn’t mind though, he actually likes listening to her talk.
  • he and jumin might fight about who gets to call mc and who whines and pouts the whole time
  • He and MC talk about how beautiful it is there, since V has traveled across Australia to photograph, and the scenery is something he won’t ever forget.

i’m so sorry this is so bad i am so american save me

Typical Aussie Experiences

* not checking the mailbox for a few days, so as not to disturb the huntsman camping out there.
* midnight Maccas run.
* more than one jar of Vegemite in the cupboard because even though none of them are empty, there’s always a chance of running out and that’s unacceptable.
* goon of fortune.
* being way too defensive over the ‘shrimp on the barbie’ thing because 'we don’t SAY that!’
* all of your friends named Rhonda are instantly hot like a sunrise
* any friends not named Rhonda are also sometimes hot like a sunrise.
* listening to at least one of your bogan rellies/friends argue out the Holden or Ford dynamics cause 'it’s Bathurst weekend, mate!’
* Having to explain to an international friend that the footy is not soccer, nor rugby, nor gridiron, but something kind of in between.
* Melben, Brisben, Canbra, straya.
* chucking a u'ey cause TomTom’s had one too many.
* handing your foreign friends protective gear to save them from drop bears.
* Duncan’s ya mate, but Dan Murphy is borderline family.
* When neither are around, you go looking for a thirsty camel.
* spending your time bitching out other capital cities cause yours is superior, and then vacationing there anyway.
* trying to make it a week without seeing Eddie Maguire’s face on something.

Bad descriptions of MCL characters
  • Nathaniel: thug lyf
  • Castiel: still crying over mcr breaking up
  • Lysander: i forgot
  • Armin: filthy frank
  • Alexy: walk walk fashion baby
  • Kentin: g.i. joe
  • Amber: cASTIELLLLL-
  • Li & Charlotte: we have no depth and live to serve our queen blondie
  • Capucine: notice me senpai
  • Kim: i'll kick your dogs ass i don't care
  • Melody: notice me nathaniel senpai
  • Peggy: fuk tha systumm
  • Iris: what
  • Violette: too good, too pure
  • Dake: g'day m8 shrimp on the barbie kangaroo
  • Laeti(Lucy): i smell a boy
  • Nina: LYSANDER SENPAI-
  • Priya: snippy snip motherfucker
  • Rosalya: suck his dick
Iconic Australian ads

“Why’d they build the Great Wall of China?” “To keep the rabbits out”

The Big Ad

Làmb, the new fragrance

NO GARY NO

The Golden Gaytime ad that hasn’t changed for 300 years

Lara Bingle Offends the Americans

Put another shrimp on the barbie even though we actually call them prawns, thanks Paul Hogan

That fucking creepy ass tongue that escapes the guys mouth to find a beer

Australian Culture

Beginning with some Myth vs Reality:

“Throw another shrimp on the barbie!” - please don’t. No one has ever said this, I think, ever, unless they’re being ironic. Plus, we call shrimps prawns, so

“Aw g'day mate!” - practically no one under 30ish years of ages says this unless they’re, again, being ironic or perpetuating stereotypes

And now let’s head to the prompts:

“holidays - what are your major holidays, what are their dates and what are some of the traditions centering those holidays?”

[cracks open diary]

for one it doesn’t snow, ever. for another summer here = winter in the northern hemisphere so have fun with that

all schooling begins february/march and ends november/december like. idk why y'all decide to start in the middle of the year that’s just weird

australia day is 26th of january and is the day we celebrate the arrival of the first fleet and continue to oppess the aboriginal/indigenous voices (aka “Invasion Day”) tbh it’s disgusting but australia seems to hate people who aren’t white or didn’t originate here like. I think they missed the memo that the aboriginal/indigenous communities were actually living here before us but sure. basically all we do to celebrate is wear aggressively aussie clothing and put temporary tattoos of the australian flag on and barbeque things like lamb and steaks. it’s pretty good actually when they also accept the aboriginals/indigenous

we have the same dates for easter/christmas/hallowe'en etc but don’t celebrate thanksgiving

anzac day is coming up, april 25 where we remember wwi and have extensive parades plus a dawn ceremony in gallipoli and then lone pine. ive been there twice and it’s absolutely stunning

labour day is the first monday of may and basically celebrates workers in the community. it’s a free day off uni what can i say, i’m a fan

in Brisbane (QLD) there’s a small carnival in mid august known as the EKKA where everyone who goes ends up getting what’s call the EKKA flu, and every year on the wednesday of the week is a public holiday

and even though the queen was absolutely not born in october the people who put the calendar decided that there weren’t enough holidays near the end of the year so said the first monday of october is the official new queen’s birthday public holiday. sure

also we celebrate mother’s day on the second sunday of may instead of sometime in march(?), unlike america i think. idk

“the people - what are most of the people in your country like? Are they loud? Party animals? Shut-ins?”

australia is basically one ginormous multi-cultural mess and I love it, and so because of that it’s really hard to define them as one particular thing as stated above. I like to think that the majority of us are party animals, and god knows that bogans (see language below) certainly can be stereotyped as such but it’s kind of a mixed bag otherwise

“weed laws - is weed legal? Are there a lot of smokers where you’re from?”

weed is illegal I’m pretty sure but what can I say. we’re aussie. I’ve only met a handful of people (who I know well, that is) who have done/do weed, but needless to say I’m pretty sure poppin’ pills and doing 90% of other illegal drugs is part of our culture

(I can say that I don’t, but then again I did come from a private Catholic all-girls school)

“food - what are some popular foods where you’re from? What are some unique foods not found most other places? What are your favorite foods? What are some foods your country is known for?”

sweets: lamingtons (square sponge cakes dipped in chocolate and covered in coconut, aka the best thing this planet can ever hope to offer), fairy bread (bread + butter + 100s and 1000s, life doesn’t get much better for 5 year olds at birthday parties), lollies (candy, but we’re cool and don’t call it that), pavlova (basically a meringue cake topped with cream and fruit? it’s a+ wonderful), various ice creams such as golden gaytimes which are not only awesome but scream the word gay in their name

savoury: chips (both flavoured, eg salt and vinegar/bbq/original etc and hot chips. mmmm), pies (aussies typically associate pies as those with meat which are yummy as hell, but that doesnt mean we dont have sweet ones like apple too), sausage sizzles (I doubt this is an Australia-only thing but we do have them everywhere and it’s wonderful), vegemite (a yeast extract… thing? it’s a spread which is hard to describe but you’re not australian unless you like it. don’t put too much on your toast or you’ll regret your life decisions)

“jobs - what are some popular jobs in your country? What are some of the work laws? What are some jobs that people tend to look down on? What are some jobs that people tend to revere?”

???? honestly I don’t think there’s much in terms of jobs we hold dear vs those we don’t, we just appreciate that people work honestly. we tend to hate on the prime minister and other government figures but then again who doesn’t have that issue… life guards are generally pretty great bc we’re idiots and swim in dangerous conditions

“religion - what are the popular religions in your country (if any)? What are some religions that are more looked down on? What are some religions that are revered?”

look at a guess I’m going to say the widespread “accepted” religion is anything christian purely becuase we white australians are only here bc white europeans decided to take their convicts over to start a new land, which was honestly a terrible decision but w/e. I know that most other religions are generally looked down upon by 50+ people but they’re old racist cows, so who cares honestly. there are certainly a few mosques and synagogues and temples etc so it can’t be too bad

“Other beliefs - is magic common where you live/do people tend to believe in magic? What’s the general consensus on what the afterlife is like? What are some common philosophies?”

drop bears are definitely 100% a real thing and I, a certified born-and-bred australian would never lie to you about them at all nope

again we’re a mixed bag of cultures so it really depends who you ask

“social life - what are some unspoken rules of social lives in your country? What are some popular social practices?”

we have this need to perpetuate the stereotypes and make it real, eg whenever someone forgein asks “omg you’re australian” or comes over for the first time and comments on something blatantly wrong we will 90% of the time say “yes absolutely that is correct, also we ride kangaroos to work and sing six white boomers all year long”

“slang - tell us some of the slang in your language/region and what they mean.”

ho boy how long is your list lmao, we shorten basically everything because we’re lazy as all hell… some common ones that I can think of at the top of my head:

g'day - good day, hello, how are you going etc, but as stated above not many people say it anyhow (at least not anymore?)

fair dinkum - basically saying something is good and/or genuine (“ah, she’s a fair dinkum sheila”)

she’ll be right - it’ll be fine, no worries, don’t worry about it

howzat - commonly used with cricket and shouted?? I think it’s supposed to mean “how’s that” but honestly idk

strewth - generally just an expression of surprise (“ah strewth mate! why’d you do that?”) but sometimes can be used as ‘struth, meaning “it’s the truth”

sheila - a woman in really colloqiual terms. again, basically no one says this unless you’re 50+

mad as a cut snake - furious beyond all belief

stubbie - beer

thongs - while also underwear, if you ever hear an aussie say ‘thongs’ they’re actually talking about the rubber shoes, I think other places call them flip flops??? idk

bogan - pretty much the only people who say this sort of stuff; think the cockney people of australia. they wear thongs and boardshorts (aka boardies) and are sunburnt 24/7 and speak. like bogans idk how else to describe it that’s just how it is

(basically I apologise for our language, this is terrible)

I hope this helps shed some light on the weirdness of Australian culture!! feel free to come ask me if you have any questions lololol @hopeless–bookworm

churchboy42  asked:

Hey Velvet, aside from photography have you any other favourite past times?

Velvet: Hmmm. I like cooking I guess.

Velvet: Nothing better than putting some shrimp on the barbie and sitting back and having a Bluey.

Velvet: And carrot cake. I loove making that.

anonymous asked:

Sometimes I feel pretty shit about life (because you know how life can really kick your ass) but then I remember that you live in Australia and I also live in Australia and that makes me a tad bit happier <3

As my ass has been handed to me by Life In Genereal on numerous occasions, I can totally agree with you on that. But I am glad that you knowing that I am somewhere out there in Aussieland, riding a kangaroo, cooking shrimps on the barby and wrestling crocodiles Steve Irwin style makes you that smidgen bit happier!