shredding up

Baby’s breath

This post was triggered by something that @roachpatrol​ said over here about the expectation for girls to be sweet and clean and harmless:

Holy shit, if I was eight years younger and wandering into fandom for the first time, I can guarantee that the culture right now would’ve fucked me up and ground me down and taken away all my healthy outlets.

Picture: you are a girl at the tender young age of mumbledyteen. Up until this point you have been taught that all dark thoughts are literally hand-delivered into your head by the devil, and that the only correct method of dealing with negativity is to ignore them and pray harder. Concentrate on what is good and righteous and pure to the exclusion of all else, this is how you be a good person.

You are also a fully-functioning human being, one who can feel stressed or lonely or angry or any number of bad things. Mostly, with emotions that are still working themselves out, you feel this rumbling, white-hot white noise under everything, all the time. Sometimes it rolls in like a thunderstorm and everything else gets drowned out, and sometimes it’s only quietly muttering in the distance. Either way it’s always there, and the sound shreds uncomfortably at the inside of your brain.

When you were younger, before you were in charge of your own media consumption, your brain would shred up a myriad of saccharine stories to try and match the noise of the shredder in your head. Bad things happening, people getting hurt, characters trapped in unhealthy relationships of all kinds.

Fanfiction, the product of a hundred thousand other mumbledyteens whose brains are all screaming the same way, makes something in your brain go ping

Unfortunately, if the planet had ever been united on any single message, it was probably that no matter how you feel: 1) your feelings weren’t unique 2) they didn’t matter 3) they didn’t matter because they weren’t unique, they were shared among millions of hysterical, worthless teenaged girls just like you.

Fandom was confirmation of the first, but (with some hiccups along the way) outright rejection of the last two. Fuck you, our feelings do matter, and this is a story just for us.

A disclaimer: these aren’t good stories, otherwise they wouldn’t have to be defended. Their flavor of topic is not within societally acceptable bounds. Fictional characters have sex and get tortured and raped and abused, but their screaming harmonizes with the pitch of the shredder when it’s burrowing deepest.


As a teenager I never thought that my feelings were important enough to deal with, but these stories let me look at them sideways. Audience catharsis is the whole point of tragedy, after all.

And hell, these days I’m a happy, healthy adult who barely even has the urge to go looking for whump fic when I’ve had a bad week. I’m not going to forget just how much bad stuff that fic helped me air out, though, not ever. (Not to mention that thanks to all of those abuse!fics, I can recognize an unhealthy relationship at 500 paces, even if the fictional abuse was depicted as something loving and romantic. Abusers in real life don’t go around with helpful warning tags on their sleeves anyway.)

But holy shit, can you imagine if I’d found fandom as it is today.

Yes, your church is right, your family is right. Horrible things in stories are only there because they were written by horrible people, and they’re only popular because horrible people read them. The very concepts they address corrupt everything they touch.

That shredder in your head, the one that takes innocent cartoons but then shits out sadness and mayhem? That’s disgusting, you’re disgusting. How dare you think about minors having underaged sex, you minor? How dare you consider another person getting hurt? Your feelings don’t matter, they aren’t unique, they’re shared with all kinds of worthless shitbags just like you.

Every ounce of what you read and write and enjoy is going to be weighed for sin and tested for purity. You know, just like the rest of your life, except this time there’s no deity who’s handing out second chances.

Maybe that’s what bothers me most about all of this. It’s the same petty fandom bullshit as always, but “you’re wrong for liking a ship because IT WILL NEVER BE CANON” is a hell of a lot easier to laugh off when you’re young than “you’re wrong for liking a ship because YOU’RE AN ABUSIVE PEDOPHILE AND IF SOMETHING BAD HAPPENS IT’S YOUR FAULT FOR PERPETUATING IT.”

My fault, my bad thoughts, no outlet for any of them. The message to repress all the bad things so I can look like a good person, but my brain is so full of unprocessed shit that it’s solidified. Nobody actually saved any real children, but my brain sure is getting a second dose of fucked-up.

Are the people getting attacked going to be okay, will they be able to go and address their braingremlins somewhere else? I’d also ask if the people doing the attacking are okay, with all of the denial and repression they must deal with, but it seems like they’ve got venting pretty well handled by taking it out on strangers. 

Hey, c’mon, calm down friends. I bet I’ve read a story that’s got a character screaming at just the same pitch you are.

It helps to read one of those and harmonize your voices, I promise.

the signs feeling intense anger

Every sign can reach the stage when the mind just ‘quits’, no matter how laid back they are. check mars and moon!


Aries: She feels no anger. She feels rage. The intensity, the strong, sometimes short but intense feeling of emotions was something she was familiar with, but what she did hate was the feeling of anger she could mostly never shake off. It was always there with her, she let her rage out and it seemed like an exploding volcano. All she saw was red, there was too much energy flowing inside her bones that she could not get rid off and so she let out her anger, and she did not care who would see her like that. ‘I am fire and you will get burned.’

Taurus: He was angry. Angry with the world, angry with this unsteadiness, angry with the fact, that he could not do anything to stop the current situation. Long, slim hands pulled him out of his nest and threw him hard on the ground. He flinched as a cold breeze came and took away all his warmth. “No, do not take everything away from me!!”, he screamed but the dark did not listen. Gritting his teeth he felt his temper raging, long horns started to grow out of his head and he shook his head, trying to get rid of the feeling of losing himself. 

Gemini: Emotions were an construct. A map with a thousand of points, connected with each other by a small, small string. No there was a knot in the strings, there and there was nothing else he could do to untie them, to clear up this mess in his head. It was like the road for his thoughts was blocked and now everything just piled up. Irritated he shook his head, even communicating was hard and the knot in his head slowly transformed in his whole body. Then his mind just quit. Rash action. 

Cancer: She could not tame herself anymore, she got hotheaded again and knew the will easily fall in an tantrum again. Followed by this feeling of guilt: why me? Why this unfairness? Why the need to upset others and be upset? In the end a wave of intensity and sadness washed her away before she could get a hold of herself again. And getting back to the surface after being pulled down by the ocean would cost her a lot strength. Strength and a long time of swimming through these endless waters. 

Leo: “I do not like this”. It all started with the feeling of unfairness, adding a a little bit of hurt to the shattered self that lay on the ground. “I cannot let them now I am hurt! I will not allow them to touch me gain that deeply.” She opened her mouth and showed her long, sharp fangs. She roared. It was loud and vibrant. Whetting her claws she narrowed her yellow, fiery eyes. “Pray for yourself”, she whispered before sprinting to her prey. 

Virgo: The head was a like a working space. There were many files and papers he read, worked with, analysed, only to put them into a new file that was stored somewhere in his office. “Wh- what is this?” This certain piece of paper  was not like the others. Unreadable. Impossible to put somewhere, therefore it was just out of order. “I..I have the control..”, he said, his hands starting to shake. “I..I have the control over it…I have the control..”, he repeated unsteady before standing up and shredding the unknown paper. He started breathing hysterically, what was that? This brooding fear inside of him? “Control…”, he said one last time before shattering the mirror and flipping his precious work desk. 

Libra: These thoughts. These worries. These fears. She did not know what to do. How was she supposed to handle? “It is their fault!!”, she cried. But at the same time is was her own fault. She cried quietly, feeling like she wanted to let everything out, but couldn’t reveal herself, because everyone next door was sleeping. She did not want to disturb them with the mess of feelings. “I will ignore it. Swallow it.” But it was far too much to keep on pretending. She felt like being on fire, but she still smiled. A poisonous, deadly smile. Everyone should feel her poison sting inside their veins. 

Scorpio: His anger is intense. It’s like a thunderstorm with roaring thunder inside of him. His heart is beating and he wants to destroy, cry and scream. He wants to let out his darkest thoughts, he wants the world to feel his pain, transformed out of the bitterness. But in the end, he remains silent and waits till everyone left. He could hurt anyone right now, but he know it’ll be no good, knowing that he will destroy for sure if he demonstrates his power. So he balls his fists and closes his door. Outside of his bedroom you can her the thunder roaring. 

Sagittarius: ‘Do not stop me’, was all she thought. These feelings were caging her. No matter what she did to distract herself, the anger would haunt her after all, so the minute it became to much she snapped. She could be free spirited and joyous but deep emotions were something completely different, especially anger. Because she was not only the laughter of joy but indeed the stomp of a herd of wild horses swirling up dust as they made their way through the steppe. There was raw force and energy inside of her and that needed to get out, now. 

Capricorn: Get a hold of yourself. Get a hold of yourself. Now. But there was no way to get himself under control. There was this dam inside of his head that stopped this enormous river of feelings of overflowing. Now, there were little cracks in the once so strong concrete and each of them plainly showed the nerves he lost from time to time. He sat at his desk, swallowed and closed his eyes. Suddenly, the dam broke. The raging float of dark water swallowed him completely. 

Aquarius: She saw it often on other people. Anger. She watched them live it out, stomping with their feet, raging, screaming, shouting. Now? She felt it herself. “I know this, this familiar”, she explained to herself. But familiar did not mean good. She knew her temper tantrums for when she was young. She knew that destructiveness could be a part of it. “I do not want that. I will not.” Suddenly a dark, whispering voice talked to her: “You do not choose to be out of touch. You are not your own master.” She widened her eyes anxiously. And suddenly, it was like she was 7 again. 

Pisces: Anger? Anger, he felt it so deeply, anger and the need to cry out of frustration, he did not want to feel it anymore, the worst thing that ate him alive right now. So he grew bitter. “I can turn nasty”, he thought. “I will be the worst if you make me feel this again.” And so he did. So he became the feeling of anger and bitterness himself. As he looked in the mirror he couldn’t recognize himself anymore. Dark, red eyes starred at him, tears flowing. 

InkTober 03 - Discovery Husbands

Inspired by this post, I wanted to draw Jim and Spock in their places during the Discovery time period.

If you think I’m gonna draw each individual delta shield on this monstrosity of a uniform, though, you’re out of your Vulcan mind.

HOW NOT TO DRAW ARCHERY: AN ART TUTORIAL.

DISCLAIMER: I was going to make this “how to draw archery”, but that would probably have taken the rest of my life. This is all stuff I’ve learned from practicing archery in the past, and the tips I’ve given should translate to many, if not all styles of archery. If you take issue with any of the information given here please contact me, as I’m aware I’m not an expert!

Okay, I’ve seen too many bad drawings of archery online. Most of the time I can overlook it, but I’ve made this guide to address drawings where a) the character would hurt/maim themselves if they shot like that, or b) if you tried to shoot like that, the arrow would just make a sad trajectory to the ground, the aerodynamic equivalent of a “WAH-WAH” on a trumpet.

With this in mind:

POINT ONE: WHY IS YOUR ARM LIKE THAT

If successful archery is about one thing, it is about consistency - being able to make your body take exactly the same stance over and over and over again. Your body is a key part of the weapon, and just as you wouldn’t want a gun that had components that wobbled and shifted, you don’t want your body to.

With this in mind, characters shooting, particularly at full draw (this is when the arm pulling the string is stretched all the way back), should have the arm that is holding the bow straight. Not locked - I’ll get into that - but straight. A straight arm is easy to replicate - a bent arm could be at a different angle each time. Simple as that.

POINT TWO: DON’T SHOOT YOUR TIT OFF

See this diagram

the dotted line is the path the string will take. The string is extremely tight - it has to be for the bow to work. It will therefore move extremely fast. Do you want any part of your body to be in the way of that.

if you have any part of your body (elbows and breasts/pectoral muscles tend to be the worst offenders) in the line of the string, they will get hit. And this will hurt. A LOT. Google “archery bruise” to see how. Yikes. Furthermore, if your arm or chest gets in the way, it’ll knock the arrow off course, and in addition to having sliced your nipple off you’ll have missed your shot too. So KEEP STUFF OUT OF THE PATH OF THE STRING.

side note: this is where the myth of amazons chopping their boobs off came from. Also, why archers sometimes wear chest-guards - this looks like a one-cupped unisex bra. Stylish. Also why archers often wear protective gear called a bracer. This goes on the tender inside of the arm and wrist that might get clipped by the string, not the outside that is nowhere near it.

POINT THREE: WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH YOUR FINGERS STOP THAT

Okay I keep seeing this

Having the fingers clasping the arrow like this makes it highly likely that the pressure from them will send the arrow off-course.

Many modern bows have an arrow rest so you needn’t rest the arrow on your hand at all. If that isn’t the case, it works better to rest the arrow on the first knuckle of the index finger (where it meets the hand). If it’s just being used as a platform, the finger shouldn’t be able to exert enough pressure to make the shot go all over the place. Also you won’t end up shredding your fingers with the fletchings.

Talking of that…

POINT FOUR: DON’T SLICE YOUR FINGERS OFF

remember what I said earlier about how incredibly taut bowstrings are

imagine pulling that back with your soft fleshy fingers

it is basically like cheesewire through…soft fleshy fingers.

Use protection. Illustrated below are the tab and archery glove, or just go to google or something, stop the madness.

POINT FIVE: PHYSICS DOESN’T WORK LIKE THAT

A strung bow is taut. The body of the bow is pulled by the (very tight) string, making a D shape. An unstrung bow will be straighter.

The tension in the string means a string should always be a straight line. If the bow is drawn, it’s two straight lines. 

If there is any curve in the string, the arrow will probably fall limply to the floor.

ALSO. When the string is drawn back, it exerts more pressure on the bow, creating that really exaggerated curve. This is where the power comes from. (I think. I am not physics). Basically, if you’re drawing a character at full draw, the string should be straight and the bow should be curved. If the opposite is true something very wrong has happened and you should be sad.


OKAY! I hope this has been helpful, if you have any questions or concerns let me know. And if in doubt, doctor google will help you - look at olympic or professional archers, and see how they’re standing and how their bows behave.

GOOD LUCK DRAWING!

underrated lego batman movie moments

• “dc… the house that batman built… yeah what, superman?… i’m your kryptonite”

• “ this plane is carrying dynamite, guns, acid… and two best friends!”

• killer croc planting a bomb and shouting “i did something!”

• the guy driving down the road singing “nothing bad ever happens to me” before he gets caught by the riddler

• “what about the time (batman defeated you) with the parade and the prince music?”

• harley is joker’s “girl buddy” and there’s no evidence of them ever dating

• “who always pays their taxes? not batman ;)))”

• harley’s roller skates!!!

• batman finishing his lobster thermidor and then randomly pulling out an electric guitar and SHREDDING IT UP

• “my name’s richard, but all the kids at the orphanage call me dick” “kids can be cruel”

• barbara went to “harvard for police”

• alfred placing a parental lock on the batcomputer

• “what’s the password?” “IRON MAN SUCKS”

• martian manhunter’s sick dance moves at the justice league dance party

• krypto the superdog is the justice league party dj

• alfred dressing up in the old batman costume because he “misses the 60s”

• “getting criminals to fight other criminals? that’s ridiculous”

• “CAAN SCAARECROOW HELLP”

• dick going to the batcave and dressing up in the nightwing costume!!!

• “british robots. ask your nerd friends”

• “so… you mean to tell me… bruce wayne is BATMAN???…’S ROOMMATE???”

• at the end when everybody’s celebrating, ivy kisses some guy out of happiness and he just straight up dies

• mariah carey voices gotham’s mayor and channing tatum voices superman sdsdfgdf

• “BATFAMILY PHOTO!!!”

• getting RICKROLLED by dick grayson… what a memer

• the shark repellent actually getting used against king shark

• bruce and barbara don’t ever get together

• the way gotham clicks back together is downright hilarious

• joker wearing those crazy costume aviators with the bars through them

• selina has three lines throughout the entire movie and every single one is just a variation of the word “meow” (even in the ‘blooper reel,’, which makes out that the characters are aware they’re acting, she’s still saying meow)

• the gotham city sirens jamming out together

• the dance party at the end??? so pure??? 

to summarise, i love the lego batman movie with all my heart god bless

Levi Ackerman: The Abuse Claim

Alright, so here I am with another long ass meta post. Only this time, this one is directed solely at the legend, Levi Ackerman himself. Yet again, I am seeing the “Levi is Abusive” mumbo jumbo and I have spent my two years in this fandom quiet about my opinions on this for the most part because I do not enjoy drama. However, after this last batch of Discourse™ that I have seen, I have been pushed beyond my ability to bite my tongue. 

This is Part One to a two part meta, and this is me basically trying to shine light on Levi’s actions a bit and why he behaves the way he does. In no way do I try to justify all of the shit he carries out so don’t think this is just a fangirl squeal post. I’m simply trying to better explain his character for the people who seem to think he is some kind of rage beast who beats kids for fun in his spare time. 

I will be putting this under a Read More because it is extremely long and also contains spoilers. I’d also like to state that this would be best read from a computer or the mobile website as it contains a metric fuckton of manga panels used for reference (seriously use any other means outside of the mobile app to read this because the app will butcher this post and cut out a majority of the images). If you are sitting down to read this, please make sure you are comfy, cozy, and drinking a nice warm beverage. Now then, 

DISCLAIMER: This is my personal opinion. In no way am I stating what I say here is completely accurate. if you disagree with my opinion, good for you! That’s your prerogative. However, If you are going to send me messages trying to argue points of view with me or send me hate messages because my opinion differs from your own; do us both a favor and just don’t even bother. WARNING: Major spoilers ahead.

First and foremost, this is the scene I see brought up the absolute most so I’d like to go ahead and address it first:

Keep reading

after leaving the most prestigious military school in the country(and being the only Catboi to do so) fabian gets drafted from the age of 18-22 in a disastrous war, ends up leading his little squadron. its four yrs of hard graft, basically shreds up his naivety, also shreds up his arm, he makes some good friends but they mostly die. The End.

Naruto fandom: NaruHina VS NaruSaku, NaruHina VS SasuSaku, SasuSaku VS SasuKarin, all side ships are shiiitt

Fairy Tail fandom: NaLu is almost canon, NaLi, Natza and Lolu are still awesome; Gruvia is almost canon, Grayza and GrayLu are still awesome, the rest are completely canon, but you can ship what you like too. YOU’RE AWESOME!

Conclusion: Fairy Tail fandom is 1.000.000% better than the Naruto fandom