shred party

That guy running for governor on Lovett Or Leave it was so unbearably politiciany that I had to fast forward. I can’t listen to one more rehearsed monologue about how people are hurting and we shouldn’t talk about Trump. People are hurting specifically because of the Republican parry. You can’t talk about low minimum wage while not talking about who fights tooth and nail to keep it low.

I want to hear just one candidate show a shred of party pride. Just one person to say “you know what, Democrats have made both good and bad policies, but everything good the government has done in the past 100 years, or hell, in the past 10'years, has been the work of Democratic politicians. If there’s some part of the government helping you, it’s because people at some point in the past century voted for a Democrat. And that means something.” Enough with the ritual self-flagellation already.

swaggneto  asked:

Party Fassy sends anon compliments that no one can understand thanks to his drunken typing and emoji overload

THIS REMINDS ME i forgot to post here after twitter!!

headcanon that Erik texts exactly how Carrie Fisher does. he’s always sending Charles tediously lengthy texts that use a billion emoji and are nearly impossible for Charles to decipher (he can’t tell if Erik is sending him another draft manifesto or asking him out to dinner, good lord Erik) so he usually just gives up and calls Erik like “What exactly does that mean?”

and this is exactly why Erik texts like that, so Charles will call. B^J

Mount Up (part 3, final)

we were tracking down a large dire wolf to become the mount of our goliath, seeing as he was quite large and couldn’t ride the mule we had gotten. we managed to get to the cave and had it trapped and all the other wolves had been wiped out, and were now trying to get the wolf to come with us.

Druid: I use my spell to speak to it. “Hello-”

Wolf (played by the DM): “WHAT THE F- I’LL RIP YOU GUYS TO SHREDS!”

Druid: To the party “he’s upset.”

Wolf: “UPSET!?! YOU JUST MURDERED MY FAMILY AND BEAT ME!”

Druid: “He’s really upset.”

we get the wolf secured and bring him with us to break in so he doesn’t try to murder us while we travel.

Paladin: “So, Tiny, what’re you gonna name him?”

Goliath: “HORSE.”

Tea Party, You Had One Job
  • Tea Party 2008 mission: the deficit is all that matters.
  • Tea Party 2008-2015: Congress should not increase the deficit, ever. Adding debt is the worst thing, ever. We will shut down the government over this principle!
  • Tea Party 2015: House Republicans vote to add $270 billion to deficit. Tea Party shreds own mission, happily adds to deficit.

kate-writes-fluff  asked:

Tsukkiyama and trying to impress the other with their pumpkin carving skills?

((YES. Also: in which Tsukki’s hand isn’t even safe in fanfiction…. 
sorry??? sort of??? ))

Carve

“I don’t see why I have to help out,” Kei mutters, shaking out yet another page of newspaper and setting it on the plastic fold out tables in the backyard of his and his brother’s small home. 

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