I recently found a folder of old photos of myself and you can see in my face how unhappy I am, with so many things in my life. It couldn’t be more different now and I recently had a stranger come up and ask me why I look so happy on a dull day.
With a waist measurement the same as my thigh was, I bumped into a friend at the gym I hadn’t seen in 2 years and he was stunned; “I never thought…” he started to say, and I jumped in with “I never thought either. I gave up. I resigned to a life of self neglect.” But somehow I picked it up and ran with it.
And I just keep on going baby. It’s never too late to turn things around.
Last night I was working out shoulders. I’m usually in my own little world even though I know many people at the gym. I have this one friend who is a real gym rat and pretty much lives there. He is the kind of person that complains about how full the gym is on January 2nd and rolls his eyes when he sees people lifting light weight.
On this particular night I was not putting up with any of the CRAP. We were talking and I was doing a DB lateral and front raises superset. There were some new faces in the weight section and I didn’t think too much of it. I’m always happy to see people venture into that section. My friend walks over and whispers, “isn’t it embarrassing for them to be lifting lighter weights than you? I would just leave if I were them.”
I looked at him like who do you think you are and responded with, “I’m glad they are here because that means that they are trying to better themselves. We are all here for the same reason. They deserve to be here as much as anyone else.” He blushed and turned around and left me to do my workout.
Don’t be that guy. Introduce yourself to new faces at the gym, it is already intimidating enough to make the bold step of entering the gym much less the weight section.
I’ve been broken so many times
That I’m unsure if I’m worth being loved
My ribs were shattered to take out my beating
Heart out of chest
Bathe in blood
Just to be torn into shreds.
I’ve need love so many times
That I’ve mistook wine stained lips
And vodka smeared fingertips for
I’ve mistook fucking and bouquets
Drunk calls and lights off
But each and every time
I was left alone with
Ache in the pit of my stomach
And missed calls, skipped meals and a tighter dress.
So tell me how can I believe in love
When I’ve only been in love with the
Idea of being in love.
I hate my face
I hate my legs
I hate my stomach
I hate my arms
I hate my shoulders
I hate my neck
I hate my feet
I hate my lips
I hate my ass
I hate my boobs
I hate my hands
I hate my hair
I hate my eye lashes
I hate my eyebrows
I hate my personality
I hate my laugh
I hate my smile
I hate my habits
I hate myself
But I still have this shred of hope that some day someone will love all the stuff I hate about myself, although the shred is gradually becoming a crumb.
the only high I’m getting today is increasing my vertical 💪😘Filming a Tough like the Toonz and couldn’t resist to JUMP GOOD I feel confident enough to jump over my other 5'9 friends #Happy420 #strength #core #fitness #fit #exercise #training #core #gym #abs #ripped #shredded #healthy #workout #dedication #beastmode #fitfam #motivation #calisthenics #nutrition #eatclean #love #me #muscles #bodybuilding #finalfantasy