-A woman dropped a candle, scattering shattered glass across the floor. Without hesitation, she began to crush any shards she saw under her foot, smothering them into a dust. I do not know whether this was her method of cleaning, or if she was attempting to hide the evidence of her mistakes, but her determination warned me not to ask.
-An aggressively yet impressively steampunk family came through my lane and purchased the Oregon Trail board game, leaving me further puzzled about what time period they called home.
-The total for a woman’s purchase came out to exactly $33.33 and I felt like my life may have meaning again, until she had to ruin everything by “using her store card” to “save money like a financially responsible adult.”
-I handed a child his toy zebra after scanning it. This, to him, was an intense show of kindness, and he seemed to vow his life to me in this moment. From then until he was well into the parking lot, he did not take his eyes off of me, waving persistently and shouting his goodbyes. I appreciate the adoration. I hope to see him again soon. I hope he has developed object permanence by this point.
-A man came through my lane, furious at me for the fact that we were out of a Kenny Chesney CD. I am so sorry for this man, this white heterosexual Christian man, that he has to deal with such intense persecution today.
-A girl in her twenties witnessed me hand a child a sticker and was clearly struck with envy. When it came to be her turn, she wasted no time asking for one, just as I wasted no time handing her one, just as she wasted no time plastering it across her face, just as I wasted no time appointing her as my role model.
-I watched as a baby, screaming and crying in fury, did the only thing he possibly could, and began to aggressively lick his blanket up and down. I have said it before and I will say it again: Babies. Are. Incredible.
-A woman came through with, I believe, three prepubescent boys who would not stand still long enough to be properly counted. They bombarded me with questions which I attempted to answer in rapid fire. “Is your name really Tom?” No. “Then why is your name tag like that?” They gave it to me. Store policy. “So everyone has a random name assigned?” Yes. It promotes equality in the workplace. “Are you wearing a Christmas sweater?” Yes. “Okay.” It is possible that I sacrificed honesty for speed here.