You look through the tumblr tag of your boyfriend, Luke Hemmings, just to see more pictures of him while he was away. There was an entire masterpost about just his nose, which always seemed to intrigue you when people could focus an entire rant about one body part on a person, yet you couldn’t help but agree with the fact that his nose was perfect. So was everything about him. Everything about him made you so happy and you felt like he was a perfect human being. That’s probably why it was so hard on you when you found a hate post about you. You were with such a perfect human being that when you compared yourself to him, you knew you were reaching in the relationship. The problem was that you couldn’t not click on posts about you. ‘Maybe this one will be positive,’ you would try and tell yourself everytime, but this was again a time where it just wasn’t. The same person that was focusing on the exact same body part as before, but this time, the body part belonged to you. The entire post was dedicated to making fun of your nose. A part of your body that had never really bothered you before. But now, it would be the focus of your negative attention. Of course, you get a text from Luke just as you’re feeling at your worst and you slide to unlock your phone.
send me a picture of your face i want a new updated lockscreen :)
You start scrolling through pictures you’ve taken in the past few weeks and in every single one, you notice how weird your nose looks. Of course. You open the camera on your phone and take a bunch of new pictures, all of which you hate. Usually, you would just send the last selfie you took or just take a random one because you knew that Luke would appreciate it either way, but now, you couldn’t help but think that Luke felt the same way as the girl from tumblr. You decide to create a sweater paw and cover part of your face, including your nose, with it and send that picture. He sends back a smiley face and a picture of himself with a huge thumbs up. Your phone vibrates again and you see that he’s facetiming you. You immediately answer it and smile, seeing his face. You catch a glimpse of yourself in the top right corner of your phone screen and you create the sweater paw mask again.
“Is it cold there?” he giggles.
“You keep covering your face like it’s super cold.” he calls you out.
“Oh, um, yeah.” you say, somewhat unconvincingly.
“You look kinda sad, are you okay?”
“What? Yeah.” you say, pretending to scratch your nose to continue covering it.
“Show me your face.” he lightly smiles.
“I want to see you. You’re beautiful.” he smiles.
“Why do you have a problem showing your face to me?”
“I don’t it’s just… I just read this thing online about my nose and you’re just so perfect it’s like hard to compare…” you start ranting.
“Are you kidding me? Don’t let anyone like that get to your head. They’re just jealous and stupid. Listen to me, I love every single inch of you and so should you. You’re amazingly beautiful and if anything, I can’t be compared to you.”
“No, I won’t stop until you believe me. Tell me that you love how you look. You can’t naturally change anything about yourself and I would never want you to. I don’t want to have to remind you everyday that you’re beautiful because you should know. You should be able to wake up every morning and believe that you’re beautiful, but until then, I will remind you. And even after you start to believe it, I will keep reminding you because I can’t go a day without the thought of your beautiful face.”
“Luke I love you.”
“I love you too, but…”
“Luke, it will take time for someone to love themselves and even if so, no one could possibly love every single thing about themselves. Please understand that.”
“I completely understand that, trust me.”
“You’re beautiful too, Luke.”
“Thank you.” he smiles.
“Babe can you help me with this zipper?” you say, slightly opening the door to the dressing room. He stands up and starts zipping it up, but it doesn’t zip up completely. You sigh as you check yourself out in the mirror. You close the door and take the dress off. You try on three more without showing Ashton, hating the way your stomach seems to hang out in everything. Nothing that you’ve found flatters your figure at all and you start to wonder if it’s your stomach that’s the problem, not the clothes. You put on your original clothes and open the door, carrying all the dresses. You hang them up on the rack and run your hand through your hair.
“Did none of them fit?” he asks, innocently.
“Nope.” you say, blatantly, trying not to show your true emotions.
“Okay, we can try some other sizes or dresses.”
“No it’s fine, I can just wear something I already have.”
“Are you sure? I want to get you something new for this. It’s my first professional date with you and I want it to be special.”
“No, Ash, it’s really fine.” your voice cracks.
“Are you okay, your eyes are getting glossy?”
“Yeah, I’m good.”
“Look me in the eyes. Tell me you’re okay.”
“I’m not going to do that.” you shake your head.
“So you’re not?”
“What do you expect Ashton? Everything I wear shows that I obviously don’t have a six pack or flat stomach. I look fat in everything. It’s not the clothes, it’s me.”
“You’re…” he stutters.
“See, I am.” you shrug and try to walk back out of the dressing rooms.
“No babe,” he says, grabbing your wrist, “look at me. You are beautiful. I love the fact that you have curves. It makes me so happy. I want you to know that you’re not fat. You might not be a stick, but that’s perfectly fine with me. In fact, I love it. You make me happy and I hate it when you’re not happy. I need you to know that I love every part of you.”
You sigh and roll your eyes.
“Look at me,” he says, putting his hand under your chin and making you look directly into his hazel eyes. “You are amazing and perfect and I wouldn’t want you any different than you are right now. I know you try to compare yourself with the models on magazines, but that’s not what I want. I want you and only you.”
Summary/Request: Requested by anon:
Hi again 💜 Reader insert/one shot request with TH’s Peter Parker and overweight reader where they tear apart their room in frustration trying to pick an outfit before breaking down in tears bc this happens every morning and Peter finds them. (I know this is oddly specific but I hope it’s okay). Please and thank you, this means a lot 💜
Falling asleep was hard but waking up was even harder. She didn’t want to leave her room and run the risk of seeing Luke. Not after last night, she needed time away from him to figure shit out.
She could hear the guys awake and fucking around downstairs and knew that she would have to go down and face him eventually. She laid in her bed dreading the idea of looking him in the eyes and pretending like everything was fine.
There was a knock at her door and her stomach dropped. She didn’t respond hoping that he would just go away. A few moments later the door was pushed open a crack and Calum stuck his head in.
“Need a friend?” He asked.
She slid over making room for him on her bed. He pushed the door closed behind him and walked over to join her. “Luke’s not here you know” he told her.
“What makes you think I care where Luke is?” She tried to play it cool even though she was relieved.
“Well to start its almost one in the afternoon and you’re usually the first one awake so thats weird.. And also my room is right next to his.. You do realize I can hear everything.. I mean everything.. So I’m guessing your hiding up here right now so that you don’t have to see him.”
She was surprised and embarrassed “you hear everything?” She asked quietly.
“Yea,” he shrugged his shoulders, “are you okay?” He asked sounding concerned.
“I’m fine.. I guess,” she lied “I just, I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing.. This whole thing was so stupid it should have never happened.”
“You say that like you’re not even into him,” Calum shook his head, “we all know, you know? Even before you two ever hooked up we knew it was bound to happen.”
“We? Mikey and Ash know too?”
“Yea.. Its pretty obvious.. You two are basically always making heart eyes at each other its hard not to notice.”
She laughed finally lightening up, “this is all so messed up, FUCK” she twisted a strand of her hair. “So where is he?”
Calum shrugged, “He left earlier with his guitar, said he was going to write.. He didn’t look good and his hand was pretty swollen.”
Her heart fell a little more, she had forgotten she made him mad enough to punch something last night. “Thats probably my fault” she told Cal remorsefully.
“You two just gotta figure your shit out, like be together or don’t.. Its that simple.”
She slid down into the bed, “I wish it was that simple.. Things are pretty screwed up right now”
“You’ll figure it out,” he reassured putting a strong arm around her pulling her into a bear hug. “So we’re gonna have a party tonight.. We running the pong table again?”
“Uhmm, duhh” she smiled, “we’re the reigning champions no way we’re breaking up the dream team” she paused, “plus I’ll probably need the distraction.”
Later that night some of the guy’s friends arrived with a few kegs and a lot of liquor. People kept showing up but Luke was nowhere to be found. She was starting to get concerend when she saw him finally walk into the back yard.
He grabbed a beer and strolled around stopping to talk to some people here and there. She could tell he was making it a point not to look at her.
She knew one of two things were going to happen when Luke returned.. he would either approach her with a smile and literally pretend nothing had ever happened between them or he would ignore her existance completely. He had obviously choosen the ladder.
Whatever. She didn’t need his attention. There was no reason to let him ruin her night.
She was standing near one of the kegs with Michael chatting with some of the guys in the band that was going to be opening for them on tour for a while before Calum came and found her.
“Y/N” he yelled from across the patio, “C'mon were on the table”
For some reason her and Cal were randomly a really good team. Probably because he’s tall and athletic and she happens to have a lucky shot. Every time they play together they end up spending a majority of the night on the beer pong table, which she didn’t mind. It was a good way to get to talk to new people, especialy since she didn’t really know many.
After playing for a while she was starting to feel the alcohol. She almost forgot about how horrible she felt all day and how weird things were with Luke.
She and Calum had won a bunch of games and were really amped up about their bragging rights. They were jumping on eachother and yelling about being the dream team, having a great time. This was when she noticed him staring at her.
When their eyes met her heart dropped. This tension between them made her chest feel tight. She knew that if all she wanted with him was to be friends with benefits she wouldn’t feel this way. It wouldn’t bother her that he wanted nothing to do with her at the moment, but it did, it was killing her. Deep down all she wanted was for him to pull her aside and tell her that she was an idiot and that he knows that she needs him.
He shook his head, frowning and turning away from her. It felt like getting kicked in the stomach. It took everything she had not to show the way she was feeling. She faked a smile and went back to playing.
Just when she thought things couldn’t get much worse they did, of course. She noticed a group of girls come through the house and out to the yard. It was Bryanna and a two of her friends. Her face fell when she saw Ashton and Luke approach them.
Luke was smiling now, possibly for the first time all night. One of the friends Bryanna brought along, Nicole, happened to have an obsession with Luke that everyone knew about. Usually Luke would ignore her, but tonight he was embracing her with open arms.
What. The. Fuck. Her stomach dropped again. Then she saw Luke look directly at her and smirk. Was he serious?
“Whats up with that?” Calum looked at her obviously as confused as she was.
“I don’t fucking know,” she was laughing at the situation now, there was nothing else left to do, “apparently he wants to play games.”
Michael walked up to them with a bottle of fireball. He elbowed her in the arm and laughed, “You look like you need a shot”
She looked over to Luke who was now obviously flirting with Nicole. She watched her touch his arm and throw her head back laughing hysterically at one of his lame jokes.
“Ew, god make it two” she looked between the two of them with a disgusted expression on her face.
Michael handed her the bottle, “Chug” he told her with a chuckle.
She tilted her head back and let the warm cinnamon wiskey trickle down her throat. She handed Calum the bottle and wiped her lips with the back of her hand.
Now Luke was watching her. What was he doing? She felt so conflicted since he was either A.) trying to make her jealous, which actually pissed her off; or B.) he gave up and really just didn’t care anymore.
“Lets go say Hi to Bryanna and her friends.” she raised an eyebrow and looked back and forth between Michael and Calum.
“You sure you want to do that?” Michael asked with a concerned look on his face. He was probably referring to the fact that Nicole was literally all over Luke.
“Absolutly” she had been drinking all night and now finally had the liquid courage built up in her system to face him.
They walked over to where Luke, Ashton and the girls were now sitting around a fire pit. Nicole was sitting in Luke’s lap with her arms around his neck. Just the sight of it made her stomach turn.
“Y/N! HII” Bryanna squeeled when she saw her, “where have you been all night?!” Ashton looked at her with sorry eyes. Even he was confused as to what the fuck Luke was doing.
“Hey girl,” she said sweetly “I’ve been around, me and Cal were playing pong on the patio for a while.. When did you guys get here?” she asked. She looked at Luke who was now frozen in place with his mouth hanging open a bit. Her coming over to them was probably the last thing he expected.
“Maybe and hour or two ago,” Bryanna answered, “You remember my friends Tara and Nicole right?”
She looked at them with the nicest smile she could fake at the moment. The guys were all watching her, feeling the tension between her and Luke. Bryanna and her friends, of course, were oblivious to what was going on.
“Of course I do, its nice to see you both again,” she continued to smile as they greeted her, Mikey, and Calum.
She looked directly at Luke who was refusing to look at her. “Luke, oh my god,” his eyes finally connected with hers. She could feel her heart skip a beat. “What happened to your hand?!” she gestured towards his swollen knuckles.
Lukes mouth opened and closed a few times but he couldn’t seem to find his words, he knew she knew what really happened. Nicole answered for him instead, “He caught it in a door” she said rubbing his forearm and moving to rest her head on his shoulder. Luke pulled his arm away from her slowly and shifted his body, seeming more uncomfortable now then ever.
She raised her eyebrows and tried to hold back a laugh, “Ouch,” she breathed, suddenly her attitude changed and her face fell. She looked into his beautiful blue eyes and shrugged her shoulders slightly, “I hope it doesn’t hurt too bad, maybe you should put some ice on it.” her voice was small now and all her courage was gone.
She could feel everyones eyes on her. She needed to get the fuck out of there. Luckily Calum caught on to this quickly.
“We were just headed up to my room to smoke.. had enough to drink for the night.. just wanted to stop over and say hey before disappearing.” he rested a hand on her shoulder and she felt relief wash over her.
Luke was still watching her carefully.“Later guys” she waved her hand pathetically before turning to leave.
“Hey wait up, I’m coming with you guys!” Mikey jogged to catch up to her an Calum. “Well that was fucking awkward as hell” he laughed.
“yea, tell me about it” she exhaled.
They sat on Calum’s balcony passing a joint between the three of them. “I cant go back down there” she said blowing out a cloud of smoke.
Michael shrugged, “I’m good with chillin up here, all the cool people already left anyway.”
Calum nodded his head agreeing. “Lukes a retard, you know, he shouldn’t be pulling that shit in front of you.”
She looked away from them, “He asked me what we were doing last night .. and I told him we were friends with benefits.. thats why he got so pissed.. I think hes trying to make me jealous now,” she looked down at her hands, “or he just doesn’t give a shit anymore.”
“I doubt that” Calum said, trying to make her feel better, “he still looks at you the same, just sad”
Mikey shook his head, “I think your both fucking dumb.”
She giggled feeling the high take over, “Thanks Mike”
I totally did not intend this to be four parts but this was getting pretty long and its been a while since I’ve posted ahh sorry .. please let me know what you think and if your interested in reading part four .. i always write this but i love hearing your feedback it makes me excited to keep writing!!! Mad Luke feels over here=]
You looked at yourself in the mirror and sighed. “Babe, we don’t have to go tonight,” Luke said walking in, stopping when he saw you sitting in front of your mirror.
“Luke, you’ve been looking forward to this for a while now. We’re going,” You said looking at him through the mirror.
“After everything that’s happened I wouldn’t mind staying home tonight. The boys will understand,” Luke said grabbing your shoulders.
“You haven’t told them, have you?” You asked grabbing his hand.
“Of course not,” Luke said gripping your fingers in his. It had been a couple days since the news and you’ve been sitting at home, only leaving to get some food in your sweatpants.
“Thank you,” You said smiling at him in the mirror. Luke smiled at you and nodded before kissing your cheek. “I think I’m ready to go,” You said standing up.
Luke had out his hand, smiling at you. You laughed and took his hand, letting Luke lead you to the front door. You were wearing a black lace floor length dress. There was bandeau bra that covered your breast and then a black high waisted skirt that went to your mid thigh. The lace covered everything else, showing off your legs, back, and stomach area. The dress was strapless so your arms were free of black, floral lace.
You were wearing diamond earrings that dangles, a necklace to match, and your wedding ring. All things Luke had given you. “You look lovely,” Luke said as you walked out to the car that was waiting for you.
“Thank you Mr. Hemmings,” You said smiling at him.
“You’re welcome my love,” Luke said smiling as he opened the door for you. You bent down, getting in. Halfway in your black pump fell off. “I got it,” Luke said bending down to grab your shoe as he got in.
“Thank you,” You said smiling. Luke kneeled down on the car floor. He slipped the shoe on your foot, making you laugh.
“The shoe fits. You’re my princess,” Luke said smiling. You laughed and brought your lips to his. Luke moved to sit down next to you, not letting his lips leave yours.
“You’re going to have lipstick on you now,” You said against his lips.
“It’s worth it,” Luke said grabbing the back of your neck and pulling you to him. You pulled away from him and laughed when you saw his lips.
“I love you,” You said through your chuckles as you cleaned his lips.
“I love you too,” Luke said watching your face. “No matter what.”
You looked at Luke with your smile falling from your face, remembering all that was happening, and then looked out of the window just as you arrived. Luke kissed your forehead and then opened the door as you rushed to reapply your lipstick. Luke stepped out and a wave of screams followed, making you laugh. You turned toward the door and saw his hand waiting for you, the boys behind him.
You grabbed his hand, allowing you to help pull you out. You touched your foot to the pavement and then stood up, smiling when a wave of flashes occurred just in front of you. Luke kissed your cheek and then grabbed your hand, walking toward the other boys who arrived just before you.
“Look at you,” Michael said smiling at you.
“Oh thank you,” You said smiling.
“I almost couldn’t recognize you,” Calum said smiling. You raised an eyebrow, making Calum laugh. He wrapped his arms around you, taking you in for a quick embrace. Ever since you and Luke got married you and Calum most of the time got along better than you did before.
“Come on love,” Luke said walking up from behind you. You let go of Calum and followed Luke toward the flashes.
“(Y/N)! (Y/N)! Is there any word on children!” A paparazzi yelled.
“Is your sickness morning sickness!” Another one yelled.
“Have you give up completely because you and Luke aren’t together anymore!” Another one yelled. Luke pulled you toward him, shielding you from their eyes.
“Can you even have kids!” Another one asked. You froze for a second. Luke noticed snd stopped with you, grabbing the sides of your face.
“Don’t listen to them,” Luke whispered. You grabbed his arm and nodded. Luke quickly pressed his lips to yours and then pulled away, pulling you with him into the building.
“What was that?” Ashton asked running up.
“What was what?” You asked looking at him.
“You froze,” Michael said running up with Calum.
“No I didn’t,” You said shaking his head.
“Yes you did,” Ashton said. “You can tell us. You don’t have to but you can if you’d like.”
“Guys, leave her alone,” Luke stepped in.
“I can’t have children,” You blurted out. Ashton, Calum, and Michael looked at you for a moment. Calum was the first to step up and wrap his arms around you. Then Michael. Lastly, Ashton. “Guys, please stop,” You laughed. “I’m fine.”
“Are you sure?” Ashton asked pulling way.
“I’m fine. I didn’t want kids remember?” You asked before turning around and walking away. You were only walking away because you knew the more you were going to talk about it you’d get more upset.
“Babe,” Luke said catching up. You stopped and turned around, smiling at him.
“What is it?” You asked.
“I just thought that we would walk in together,” Luke said grabbing your hand. You smiled and kissed his cheek before the both of you walked into the dining area. You immediately saw some familiar face talking to some other familiar faces and faces you hadn’t even seen before.
“So there’s a change of plans,” Luke said as you walked to your table.
“What do you mean?” You asked looking at him.
“Luke Hemmings,” Harry Styles said walking up.
“Harry,” Luke laughed.
“(Y/N),” Harry said changing his direction to you and hugging you.
“It’s lovely to see you too,” You said patting his back.
“I have simply missed you. It’s been almost a year,” Harry said pulling away and looking at you.
“Harry I saw you at that party Luke threw a couple months ago,” You laughed.
“Harry,” Luke said guiding him away. You watched Luke and Harry walked away while you walked to your table, sitting dow where it said Mrs. Hemmings. Michael sat next to you and then Luke, of course, on the other. None of the boys were near you so you knew that they were keeping something from you.
I know there have been a lot of entries about this issue but I feel like expressing my thoughts concerning this.
I’ve been struggling with my weight as well in the last year, well actually my whole life until now. I’ve actually been anorexic like 4 years ago so I know what I’m talking about. When I have bad days I regret having eaten every single I’ve eaten that day. But still I’m pretty satisfied with my body. It hurts my heart to see so many girls at my age who struggle with their weight or their body shape, so I thought I could try to give you some advices which actually helped me pretty much. (Even though not many of you might read this).
The thing that helped me most is the boost you can get from compliments of friends, family or even strangers. - Try it! Take a photo of yourself or let someone take a photo of you. Not just of your face but your whole body. Wear your favourite clothes in it, things you think you look good in. Take some time and edit it until you think it looks kind of okay. Then send it to people you trust. Your best friend, someone who thinks you’re attractive or just a person you’ve talked to once or twice. Ask them to tell you one specific thing they like about your appearance. If they tell you that they like you “generally” just ask them to be more specific, to point out one feature about your body that they like. When they did, tell them what it’s for and just repeat it several times, every now and then. It helped me a lot to find out how others see me, what they like about me.
If people say they can’t find a thing, don’t be mad at them. Maybe you’re just not their type. Maybe they prefer lean girls, maybe they just prefer the other gender. If the person you like or have a crush on doesn’t find a thing he likes and can’t tell you an amazing feature about your body - screw him! He obviously doesn’t fancy you or he’s just too shy to admit it? But don’t let that drag you down. There are so many people out there who think you’re hot as fuck! Me for example. I think you’re hot. Holy shit, you’re hot, gorgeous and smart. I like you, I really do! Look at you! Your eyes are amazing, how they shine. Oh look, they just lit up, that’s cute. Your hands are amazing. They look like they’re perfect for being held by someone you really like. It’s the little things that make you who you are.
you don’t have to have a tight gap to be beautiful
your collar bones don’t have to stick out to show you that you’re attractive
a flat stomach isn’t everything
you’re beautiful just the way you are
You know, if you hate on your body, it doesn’t change a thing. Your body doesn’t care, he’ll stay the same, no matter how much you hate him. You have to change something so that your body changes. It won’t start changing only if you think of every little thing you dislike about it. I’m not trying to tell you to start starving yourself, no. But if you really want to change something, you can do it. But always remember to stay healthy! Start working out… no, don’t roll your eyes! I know what it’s like being told to just “work out”. It doesn’t help if people tell you to just do it. It has to start in your own brain. You have to be ready for a change. So let me end that sentence! Start working out when you feel ready for it. You don’t necessarily have to do that. I don’t work out. Never. And still I’m comfortable in my own body. Because I’m okay with not working out. I’m too lazy for it. And it’s okay.
Another thing that might help is to find your own style. Don’t try to copy others. Don’t look into a shop window at a mannequin and say “I want this outfit. Exactly that one.”! Walk through the shop and find things that you like on the first view. They mostly are the ones that look best on you because you didn’t have to think about it for a long time but your instinct told you that you like it. Don’t question if you looked good in it or if it suits you. Just try it and if it fits you, it’s perfect! Wear freshly bought outfits with pride! The more confident you feel the more you’ll start showing it on the outside. Even if people think that the things don’t go together - if you like it it’s your choice. Don’t let them make you question your style. It’s what you like, it’s what you enjoy. You and no one else. That’s what counts. You and only you.
Every day you’re confronted with those skinny girls on tumblr, on telly or in any other ads. They might look amazing, I admit it. But don’t take them as a role model. Every body is different. Some people can never reach a tight gap - sounds harsh, I know - but it is at it is. Look for someone who nearly has the same shape as you. If you have a broad back look for someone with a broad back. If you have short legs look for someone with short legs. Take them as your role model.
Additionally, be happy about every tiny little pound you lose. You’re one step closer to your dream weight. Not long from now and you’ll look exactly the way you want to. And don’t be sad if you gain weight. Maybe you just had a tough day or week. Sometimes it’s about hormones, they just might have fun fucking you up. Don’t worry and don’t give up!
Most importantly: Don’t think about your weight 24/7. Don’t question whether you’re allowed to eat something or not. It doesn’t matter. Au contraire! It’s important to reward yourself. Chocolate isn’t all that bad. Scientists have proven that chocolate can help to reduce the fat rate of your body.. Don’t ask me how, it’s something chemical, but it’s proven! Search the web if you don’t believe me, but I’m pretty certain I’ve read about it a few weeks ago.
You know what? I don’t have any further advices.. It has to start with yourself. But let me tell you once again: You are beautiful.