show us your papers

What’s Wrong with your novel, by MBTI type:

ENTP: You couldn’t decide on a central plot, so you tried to juggle all 424 ideas at once

ISFP: No one knows, because you haven’t let anyone look at it yet

ENTJ: You can’t stop being responsible long enough to sit down and write

ENFJ: You want all your characters to be healthy and happy, so you keep solving their problems for them

INFJ: Your book was fabulous three years ago, but you can’t stop editing it

INTP: You’re still waiting for your Fe to show up and make your characters relatable

ESTP: You won’t stop using the paper to make spitballs

ESFP: You can’t find your doc behind all the open chat windows

ESFJ: Your neighbors are angry because you didn’t even bother to change their names before you made them into characters

INFP: Every time someone offers constructive criticism, you lock your MS away in a vault and drink yourself silly

ENFP: You wrote something wildly original and relatable, but got bored 1/3 of the way through. You try to feel bad about it, but can’t

ISTJ: You can’t quite get the dialogue to flow 

INTJ: The 34 complete novels in your head are masterpieces. Why go to the trouble of typing them? 

ISFJ: You want to write, but people keep having crisis that only you can fix

ISTP: You’ve written several successful How To Survive manuals, actually

ESTJ: You’ve murdered all your critique partners for not being able to appreciate your blunt approach. You’re now reading “How to Make Friends and Influence People.” 

A superrare political rant: Showing papers, Donald Trump, and burning of the American flag [Lengthy, grab some coffee or hot cocoa]

I don’t discuss politics, ever. I will, on occasion, with my boyfriend. My political discussions are limited to watching Rachel Maddow nightly, and the occasional bitching about something stupid Glen Beck has done. Tonight, I am openly discussion politics. I am so outraged by what happened today. I can’t hold it in. 

While I was watching my recorded Dr. Phil today, a CBS special report broke in. At first, I was outraged, what’s more important than a troubled teen who’s drinking more than some alcoholics have drank in their entire lives? Then, I saw what was going down, and I got even more enraged. President Obama came on my television screen to release a public statement about his birth certificate, and to say that he was releasing his long form birth certificate. Uhm, okay. I don’t care. Why does it matter? So I went on with my day, slightly furious, but I got over that.

Then I got home. That’s when my discontent with the situation grew into pure outrage and disgust. I began to watch Rachel Maddow, and realized this whole “show us your papers” issue is going farther than just the Tea Party’s “OBAMA IS A COMMUNIST MUSLIM!!!” caterwaul. I’ve never been one to pin an issue as racist, but this issue is coming across as such. In 230 years, no president has ever been asked to show his birth certificate, let alone his LONG FORM birth certificate. Now America has a black president and guess what? He has to show his papers. 

The birth certificate that President Obama released today is a legitimate long form birth certificate from Hawaii. The certificate has all the necessary seals and signatures, but you know what also had the necessary seals and signatures? His short form birth certificate. This birth certificate issue isn’t going anywhere. Donald Trump publicly claimed that President Obama releasing his long form was solely his doing. Trump is so proud of himself right now. He’s glowing like a freshly impregnated woman. Too bad Trump’s “triumph” and “ability to do something no one else has done” is not enough for Trump. 

Trump is now arguing that President Obama was a terrible student and therefore should not have been allowed into Harvard. Now Trump is demanding to see President Obama’s college transcripts. Mr. Trump, I use “Mr.” lightly and almost teasingly, there are no educational requirements to becoming the President of the United States of America. President Obama has no need to show us his college transcripts. It has nothing to do with his presidency, so drop it. Who cares if President Obama graduated from Harvard University or the University of Phoenix? It does not matter to the presidency, so no one should. What should matter is the issues. What should matter is President Obama’s ability to deal with all the mudd-slinging going on. In my opinion, President Obama is dealing with this well. He has not once gotten nasty or snippy, publicly. He is being very patient. I would have publicly denounced someone by now. Or pressed the famous “red button” and set the coordinated for Donald Trump’s house. 

Trump is a C.E.O. He is not a politician.

Trump’s television show has nothing to do with politics. He is not a politician.

He is not a politician. He is not a politican. Trump, you sir, are not a politician. How many times must I say this? 

Politicians begin being politicians at birth, almost. They study subjects like law when they are in school. Many politicians go on to become lawyers and judges, and they work their way up from there. 

The presidents of America generally start in the house or the senate. They announce that they want to be president, and the proper procedures go on from there. They start at the preliminaries and work their way on up to the presidential ballot. The American citizens vote, the electoral college votes, and then the president is announced. 

Trump has a degree in economics. Oooh, wow. Especially when that degree did not help him from getting into a bunch of economic turmoil. And the degree is only a bachelor’s degree. That’s a shame, considering most jobs on the American job front today would like a master’s degree. Luckily for Trump, there are no educational requirements to being the president. However, I feel like Trump is unqualified to be the president. Why? Because Trump has never engaged in anything political in his entire life, besides always claiming a political party and pushing this giant birther issue.

Speaking of the birther issue, let me state a quote from a republican on the birther issue, and what it has to do with President Obama:

“As I’ve repeatedly stated, this issue is a distraction… the president ought to spend his time getting serious about repairing out economy, working with republicans and focusing on the long-term sustainability of medicare, medicaid, and social security. Unfortunately his campaign politics and talk about birth certificates is distracting him from our number one priority - our economy.” - Reince Priebus, Chairman of the Republican National Committee

Can I please begin my counter attack with a quote I posted a little while ago, from President Obama himself?

“We do not have time for this kind of silliness. We’ve got better stuff to do… I’ve got better stuff to do. We’ve got big problems to solve, and I’m confident we can solve them, but we’re gonna have to focus on them. Not on this.” - President Obama

If this issue is a distraction, it is one that the republican party itself has created. The republican party is the one passing birther bills* in red states all over the country. The republican party is supposedly the party of small government but more and more I’m starting to think this is a front for alternative motives. 

So, flag burning. I’m strongly opposed to flag burning. I do not think anyone has the right to burn a flag for any reason. If you hate America so much that you must show one of the ultimate forms of disrespect, the please get out. My boyfriend, on the other hand, believes people should be allowed to burn flags. We had a lively debate on that for over an hour one night. In the presence of our debate was a friend of ours who is in the middle on the flag burning issue. He can see both sides. He asked both of us, “If you were homeless and your found an American flag in the winter, would you burn it to keep warm?” He and Eric said yes, they would. I said I would wrap it around myself like a cape or blanket or something to that effect to try and keep warm. 

So, what does my completely one sided, stubborn, and refusal to burn the flag on any terms have to do with anything? Because I found my terms on which I would burn an American flag. I told Eric tonight, right before I sat down to write this, that if Donald Trump won the presidency, I would burn a flag with him. 

*If you aren’t following politics in any form, the birther bills being passed are requiring people to show their long form birth certificates when they register to vote. A birther bill was passed in Arizona to require a long form birth certificate. Arizona does not issue long form birth certificates. It would have been impossible to register to vote in Arizona. I say “would have” because Senator Jan Brewer, a republican ironically, vetoed the bill.