shovel

scratchdoc  asked:

Assuming the shafts are roughly the same, which is the superior improvised weapon, a scythe or a broom?

Whenever we get a question like this, I always assume the person in question has never actually seen a scythe in action. I’ll link the video from Lindybeige. This is what a scythe looks like.

Of the two, the broom is the better weapon and you can use it as an improvised staff. Plus, you can capture dust bunnies and other grossness in the broom head and shove them into your enemy’s face. Never underestimate potential revulsion as a means of psychological warfare to create openings.

Other improvised weapons better than scythes: fireplace pokers, pitchforks, shovels, and sledgehammers. If you need a stand in for the scythe, industrial shovels and pitchforks are pretty decent. The shovel especially.

The problem with the scythe is that the size and shape of the head unbalance it. You have to hold it in a very specific way and that way makes it unsuitable as a weapon. Well, unless your character wants to be waving a curved blade at their enemy’s ankles. Any other vector of attack would be a challenge.

Broom all the way, especially if it’s a sturdy, wooden broom with a hefty shaft.

-Michi

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Favor

A private eye is only as good as the favors he has coming to him. That’s why I stopped by the DMV.
“Hey, Marty. I need to call in that favor you owe me. Need you to run these plates, find out who the cars are registered to. Think they’re mafia, so it’s not gonna be easy for you, and yeah, if you get caught by your boss you’ll get canned as fast as a tuna in Japan, but you owe me one.“
“Frank, that favor you did for me was far, far easier. You helped me shovel my driveway. And my driveway is tiny. Can’t even fit a smart car in it, let alone one that didn’t go to college.”
“So what? A favor’s a favor. Also, when you get the information, I need you to help me break into the car owners’ homes, and gather more intel. You’re gonna need a gun, so buy one illegally. We might need to rough up some kids.”
“What? No! Frank you HELPED ME SHOVEL MY DRIVEWAY!”
“Don’t forget after I shoveled, I opened the door for you to get back inside.”
“So the fuck what? You opened a door for me so I have to illegally buy a gun to help you trespass and beat up children?”
“Marty, you wanna be a guy who doesn’t honor his favors?”
“Jeez, this is crazy, Frank! I need a cigarette.”
“Here, let me light that for you.”
“Thanks.”
“You’re welcome, but now you owe me another favor. You gotta help me kill God.”                                                                                                            “FRANK!”