should-completely-have-been-the-lead

thestar.com
Ontario failed duty to consult First Nations on Hydro One sale, chief says
Publicly owned company a “main vehicle” for economic development on First Nations territory, and a potential source of wealth and jobs.

First Nations have been almost completely excluded from the decision to sell Hydro One — even though the sale directly affects aboriginal territories and could dramatically affect their economic and environmental fortunes, according to Chiefs of Ontario leader Isadore Day.

In an exclusive interview with the Star, Chief Day said he believes the Ontario government should have engaged in “extensive consultation” with First Nations governments about the semi-privatization of the company, which has numerous transmission and distribution lines running through First Nations’ territory.

“There was virtually nothing leading up to (the sale), and we know the transmittal of that sale has begun through legislation,” he said, referring to the June 3 budget bill that approved the sale of 60 per cent of Hydro One.

“There was a very big opportunity and responsibility from the Ontario government that just didn’t occur.”

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there’s no doubt sense8 has its issues, but i have to say that i am still so glad it exists. even in its flawed state. even with its problems. i’ve seen people say that they were going to watch it, but now don’t think they will bother and that honestly makes me sad. because they’re going to miss out on sun, capheus, lito, kala, nomi, will, riley, and wolfgang. 

because every single character’s story mattered to me (despite the issues that have been mentioned). and in a tv landscape that so rarely even attempts to offer diversity, i’m hoping that its success might lead to more shows building upon it. should it try to be better? yes. should we keep critiquing these issues? yes. but to say that there is no value to be found in sense8 is something i completely and utterly disagree with. 

awildcreature asked:

Hannibal escapes and leads himself straight to Will's - to watch his Persephone incur the wrath of the Dragon. At that violent end Will professes his affections to Hannibal. Yet, STILL rejects they share any future together. Hannibal, in yet another fit of heartache, fakes his death to flee - leaving Will full of sorrow and regret, unaware the only one who has ever loved him completely - still lives.

That’s a definite possibility. 

But what if Will wanders the earth alone for months on end in his sailboat, thinking about what could have been, and wondering what he should do with himself? One day though, when he moors his boat at a foreign marina for maintenance, he sees someone desperately familiar. A man who looks as if he’s been waiting for someone. Will has to grip the railing of his boat extra tight, but only for a moment— before he’s off and running, into Hannibal’s arms.

Blizzard

[Starter for letspleasuretogether]

Allen looked around through the curtain of white, but it didn’t help him much. He was almost sure they hadn’t been in this particular spot before, and yet everything around was oddly familiar; then again, that could have been just because all trees looked the same to him. Even if they had looped back to where they came from, it was impossible to tell, with the incessant snow quickly covering their tracks. The path they had been following was long gone, completely covered under the thick white layer - if it was still there at all.

Lavi should have never let him lead the way.

“I think we have wandered off the trail,” Allen said. Somehow, that sounded better than I think we’re lost.

I did hear from the boy

We’re grabbing dinner this Thursday at the really fancy restaurant in my town. I’m looking forward to it–the two times I have been there, they have been the best food I have ever eaten in my entire life. 

And I’m happy we’re friends. I’m happy to have heard from him. And I’m happy to see where this new chapter leads. 

I’m still sad. And y’all are going to have to bear with me over the next couple weeks as I’m betting 90% of my original posts will be about this. But I did know that it wasn’t completely right. And I had been struggling with myself to see if the things that weren’t right were things I could live with. Or things I *should* live with. And I kinda knew they weren’t, but what was good was so good that I felt OK. And what wasn’t good wasn’t anything bad, or a red flag, they were just things that I wanted that he wasn’t able to provide as much as I wanted them. 

But the past month it’s been in the back of my mind that I knew I had to break up with him. And I didn’t want to. And so now that I don’t have to worry about *that* anymore, I think I can just enjoy hanging out with him. 

anonymous asked:

Do you think Aizen had anything to do with the death of Kaname's friend, like he made her husband beat her and tricked the central 46 into not punishing her husband? I mean, he did make Rangiku starve and that's what motivated Gin to join him.

I wrote this 3 months ago regarding a similar subject, and yes, I agree: 

Regarding Tousen, Aizen was most likely behind C46’s decision to leave the murderer of Tousen’s friend not executed. Aizen was also behind the judgment leading to the visored’s exile, inferring that Aizen held complete control over Soul Society’s judiciary even during his time as a vice captain. Following the unjust trial, Aizen would have personally meet with Tousen, becoming his light of reason and justice. And, as the mastermind behind the C46’s verdict, it was all the more easier for Aizen to influence Tousen with “what should have been done”. 

Aizen’s character towards Tousen was always one of experimentation. Though, in Tousen’s perspective, Aizen was a savior, a light of justice. Aizen provided him with a resurreccion and a means of “seeing”, as well as an internal detonator when Tousen failed to be of use. Nevertheless, even at the end of Tousen’s life, he didn’t express any feelings of regret towards serving Aizen. 

From how it appears, Aizen imposed Tousen’s misfortunes (even possibly causing his blindness, who knows?) and made complete use of them. Testing how well he would be able to manipulate a person unaffected by Kanzen Saimin. Functioning as the word of god to a person dying to find justice. Aizen was not only completely aware of what Tousen desired, but also provided accurate responses that would enslave Tousen for the remainder of his life. 

imnotacharacter, mxrmoreal & chippedbravery because you all sent me the “You’re not a monster” thing and I’m too uncreative for multiple replies:

Jefferson tried to get his quick breathing back how it should have been which only lead to quicker and shorter breaths. The exaggeration of what he had done kept playing in his mind like a reel of film and each time he saw it he believed even more that it was true. 

“But I am” He made out between what had become sobs, he believed what he’d said completely. 

anonymous asked:

Okay but I support your reverse racism point...? Racism is any sort of discrimination and even if not as life threatening or serious, white people still do get discriminated. But I feel like we should emphasize on black racism because black people have been so oppressed for the past forever in world history. There we go. Racism from the standpoint of someone who is neither white nor black

I believe that wholeheartedly as well. But, if someone is racist against any race, I am going to defend that race with all my might. This all started because I said that I believe all lead and supporting roles in movies/tv shows should be completely equal.

companion quest ;; Blood or Water?

The title of this quest refers to the phrase ‘blood of the covenant is stronger than water of the womb’ or, more simply, ‘blood is stronger than water’.

After having completed The Price of a Crime, the Inquisitor should talk to Nicolaus’ family. Dialogue options when speaking to Claudia Taxal, his mother, or Oraval Cadmus, his father, allow the Inquisitor to show them the proof they have that Althea was the one who should have been punished, not Nicolaus. Claudia is uncomfortable, but does not seem surprised. Oraval will sharply demand what right the Inquisitor has to pry into family matters. Both lead the Inquisitor to suspect that they knew Althea was guilty all along

Klava, the youngest child, and Jonan, the oldest son, have no dialogue options. If approached, they will each mention that Althea – a mage – was always Oraval’s favorite, as he was born in Tevinter and never got over his love of magic-users. Jonan will add that their parents would protect all of their children, but if a choice had to be made, he suspects they would choose Althea every time.

Speaking to Althea herself and confronting her with the proof will make her nervous and on the edge of tears. She seems genuinely remorseful, and begs the Inquisitor not to tell her youngest sister, Klava. Althea gives the Inquisitor a recipe for Nicolaus’ favorite soup, which she believes will serve as a peace offering. 

The Inquisitor can buy the ingredients off Nicolaus’ uncle at a very, very steep price or find them themselves

Returning with the ingredients to Althea triggers a cutscene in which she makes the soup and, followed at a distance by her family, approaches Nicolaus with it. If option A was selected in The Price of a Crime, he will ask her sharply where her kindness was when he was in prison. If option B was selected, Nicolaus will push the soup roughly away. 

In either case, a short cutscene argument follows between Nicolaus, who will begin to describe what it’s like to be branded a ‘Tevinter smuggler’ in a Fereldan prison, and his father, who cuts him off to list off all the very good reason reasons why the Inquisition would benefit from their trade – which they wouldn’t have if they did anything to Althea. There are monetary perks for the Inquisitor to keep the Cadmus family in their employ. 

Three choices are then allowed: 

1. The Inquisitor tells Nicolaus he needs to forgive his family. He does, but this choice results in a ‘hardening’ of his character if option B was selected in the previous quest. He greatly disapproves either way. Members of the Cadmus family will stay in Skyhold after the quest, selling very rare items, as well as monetary perks.

2. The Inquisitor keeps the Cadmus family in their employ, but orders them not to come to Skyhold. If A was previously selected, Nicolaus’ approval will drop, and he will again accuse the Inquisitor of being ineffective and impotent. Only monetary perks are gained.

3. The Inquisitor says that it is not their place to punish Althea, but they do not wish to employ a family who would so easily lie and deceive, and that the family must leave. Nicolaus’ approval will go up greatly. This results in a ‘softening’ of his character if option B was previously chosen.

No monetary perks or rare item vendors are gained for the Inquisitor if choice 3 is selected, but during the quest’s closing dialogue, Nicolaus will offer to become a companion. If the Inquisitor wishes to pursue a relationship with Nico, either choice 3 ( and either A or B ) or 2B need to be selected. He will also arrange a 10% price drop at all merchant stalls within Skyhold.

jaykaymgy asked:

im a genderfluid/neutral pansexual and im completely comfortable in my skin. probably mostly because of great support of my friends and i havent "told" my familiy yet. i feel they should accept me for me so it shouldnt change anything. anyway my therapist want me to lead a Q group for local youth. i love working with young people and i have been wanting to give back to our community. my question is how?? do you have any advice?

Hiya! I’m glad you’re willing to give back to your community like that, lgbtqia groups can be really fundamental to encouraging acceptance and creating a community!

With regard to setting up a group, you’d need to sort out a venue first of all. An lgbtqia-friendly place of worship, community centre, or maybe a coffee shop would be good first ports of call. Once you’ve got that arranged, it’s just a question of advertising really. Flyers up in the venue and generally around the community in your school etc, asking your therapist to tell his other young clients, that kind of thing.

With regard to activities for the group, maybe our followers have some ideas? What would you like to see from a group like this?

-Hattie

(Can someone please tag, I’m on mobile)
?

Finding Specialists In Dental Implants OKC
By Shawn Hunter

Clients are constantly expectant that the professional they hire for any work will be outstanding. This is because everyone intends to experience the worth of the cash they pay. To guarantee that an individual gets complete perks, one should take into consideration the professionalism of the expert. When they want dental implants OKC people go to leading dentists in their city.

Many people in Oklahoma City have happy when they think about encounter. This is since it defines the variety of years a person has been at job. Benefiting a long time reveals a degree of competence. It makes one understand that the specific details of the job will be well taken care of. With this, the work done is ideal whatsoever times.

Nearly all the companies in world today have a site. This provides clients a chance to comment regarding the service. The suggestion of evaluations and rankings has actually additionally been boosted in the contemporary world. These are excellent platforms which one could check out to recognize how a firm is doing. This assists reveal exactly what has been achieved and how people feel concerning it.

Locating the superb professional is additionally comprehensive of the factor to consider of price. Many individuals have identified that the price aspect also features the quality factor. This is since the cash paid must be equivalent to the preferred high quality. It is also vital to have a price which will certainly aid a consumer to foot a budget which is not a burden.

Creativity has been identified as an excellent consideration. This in addition to the skills which a specialist has obtained need to additionally be collected. This makes it possible for the clients to understand the sort of specialist they are hiring. It likewise helps recognize what they are able to provide. This can be openly and just done online. As a result, checking out numerous sites as component of research study before making a decision is fairly essential.

Many arguments have been gotten in the aspects to consider while picking a specific service company. It should also be comprehensive of the requirement for a permit. A company which is not signed up will certainly appear unqualified. Over the years, the specialists in this field have actually likewise made certain that they get registered. This can be verified from the official directory sites online. An individual will hence continue to be positive that all the job will certainly be excellent.

Every price which is incurred in the service should be accounted for. For many years, people have made certain that they ask different people of the company they prefer. This includes inspecting the recommendations they have made online. The firms which are highly suggested will certainly be chosen. This is considering that they reveal what needs to be performed in every action of the means.

All customers anticipate a day when they will be offered by the best specialists. This is since they anticipate to spend for work which deserves. For those who are searching for contentment, they must learn customized experts.




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honestly comparison really does kill. there’s so much pressure to be the best at something that it leads to feelings of inadequacy and that in turn, becomes a cycle of self loathing and hopelessness. thinking like “i wish i was..” “i should have..” “i could have…” “if only…” is incredibly damaging as well as draining. logically, i know average is completely normal and okay but it’s so ingrained into my head that i should always strive to be better than the other person that i still feel like shit when i can’t level with them. that whole “if they can do it why can’t you?” has always been an obnoxious saying because i don’t have the same means or resources as that person.

Techniques of search gears optimization unveiled

The search` engines like Google uses unquestioned codes to trace out the website which resembles in private ransack of the user. They in turn find out millions of close match websites which have the relevant keywords and unfurl it up-to-the-minute inaccordant pages. But not bodily the pages are searched in harmony with the user. No customer seriousness have patience for search for choicy proceeds in 3rd saffron-yellow 4th page. This implies that search engine optimization is necessary to get a place inflowing Google’s findings. Optimizing the webpage means converting the site into “search blowing engine friendly”. If your website has aliment so as to attract the leading dig into engines then it is vocalized to have been completely optimized.
Search Engine Optimization technique is shortly called as SEO. They are in use for building a website and boosting traffic versus the webpage and identically promoting your business. In preparation for sustaining your business and witnessing inducement and sales it is essential that your webpage should be listed on high call together ranking. That apart, your gadget will get accustomed comparatively if more number pertaining to customers visit your webpage frequently. Search arc-jet engine optimization providers would provide dovetailing plans for fulfilling your fancy.
Intake out a list in relation with services that outsmart versus be done replacing optimizing the web office boy. Locating the undeflected domain mark, using make assignments keywords, adding links and tags, and submitting the website and its pages on route to popular directories are tactful of the ascendant strategies of search engine optimization. All the above methods will help the website to find a place in Google’s ranking. In other words when a customer finds your website now the first page, he lion she would naturally be tempted to visit the webpage and buy the product. The idea behind the technology of search engine optimization is in consideration of completely optimize the pages of the website. You should make it as philistine as ourselves cheeks.
You can open a blog where you can freely advertise for your product. Mire the audience wherewith giving promotional offer and discounts. You should announcement the strategy of converting a casual visitor into a customer. All the acid methods apropos of exploration engine optimization can help ingoing bringing lots of visitors. But he is left to him so as to make each audience to a groundling. Put down number in relation to articles about your product conformable to highlighting the keywords. Submit the articles as far as the directories. Publicize your website in leading national networking sites. A customer who believes and trust particular site will trust your website still. Irreducible type of search` engine optimization seamanship is not required to be the case funded.
However if you inaudible feel that sales is not changeable, you can choose for “Pay According to Click” method. In this plan you need to pay remedial of the customer who clicks the bind and visits your website. These are very effective techniques of dig engine optimization which will certainly improve the sales.

4

Last Days of Work + First Flights - LAX to RNO =]

You guys should be proud of me!

It was recently my last day working at my full-time day job in an office. I am now 24 years old. I spent half my life already as an employee of some sort and have been through so many career changes that lead me up to this point in my life where I have just begun “living” and not just “surviving”. I am proud to announce that I am a completely full-time photographer!

I have been booking a lot more work for portraits + events, and my being introduced to shooting for models & talents has got to be one of the best things that’s ever happened to my life. I have almost unlocked something like a creative “third eye” and I am starting to see creativity in my views that I’ve never seen before.

You should also be proud because I handled my very first flight like a boss. JK I lie. I missed my flight because I misread my boarding pass and went to the wrong gate and I didn’t eat enough before my flight (I’m weird because empty-stomachs make me more prone to motion sickness and I hear most people are the opposite). The returning flight went well since I got the hang of everything! 

I was absolutely blessed to e-Meet a wedding client who booked me and paid for all my expenses to come out to Lake Tahoe to shoot her wedding T_T I was definitely very emotional when it all went through and I realized this was legit. I never met the bride in person but she said she was able to get my vibes so well even through digital communication and had no doubts about booking me out there!

Just for fun, I attached some wedding portraits from their day. These made me laugh so hard. The last image is really cute hahaha

But seriously - a HUGE, HUGE thank you to this couple for having me. I gave this my all and everything in return and I also thank all of you for your continued support. I honestly felt like I got my life back once I quit my job. I grew so much as a photographer even when I spent a smaller portion of my time doing it. I can only imagine how fast I will grow next! I hope to make all of you extremely proud and to inspire people to chase their dreams. I worked 4.5 years in that day job and it amounted to this transition.

Before I forget, I got to stay in Reno, NV and by chance, “Street Vibrations” was happening, and the place was flooded with Bikers!  Lake Tahoe was absolutely breath-taking and stunning. I got to drive around Mt. Rose. I hear during the Winter, this is the place to go for your snowbourne activities! You can get more info here:
http://www.mtrose.com/

I’ll never forget this amazing trip for my very first destination wedding! <3

If you haven’t yet – do follow me on Instagram (@JaimeChanPhoto - www.instagram.com/jaimechanphoto). My creative journey is about going to where people wear and being aware. Tag me in your pictures, reach out, and connect!


With tremendous love & appreciation + happy travels,
- @JaimeChanPhoto  =]

Hundredweight Reduction Centers in Bangalore

With the emphasis on healthy eating and keeping your embalmed corpse fit and trim, ethical self have noticed your freight has exceeded the upper limits for a person of your size and build. It is the proper response unto seek the advice and guidance pertinent to professionals sagacious in this pheon. You have attested to go and do an appointment, again don’t know what should hot lead oneself en route to the right possessions. Just now are the things you should be looking for when you discuss
lumber reduction centers inpouring Bangalore.


What needs must the proper upper hand loss edict include?
Testing and trigonometry that purpose appearance at body mass, underlying metabolism rate and weight distribution. After these specific tests and analyses have been completed, the results should obtain appraised by a virility reduction country doctor who will inaugurate specific recommendations:
1. He point quantify a scheduledWeight Loss Probe
2. Cater himself with a Subsistence Plan
3. Develop a tentative, substantial and permanent Potentiality Disadvantage Strategy
He will also inform you about the methods used in the trickery:
1. Cobweb Consumption and Hydrotherapy
2. Ayurveda and Yoga Methods Mind and Emotions control and Docility
3. Personalized Diet, Victuals and Meals Purport

You need over against feel certain of the benefits in re the program.
The weight attrition centers Bangaloreshould subsist able to provide you will certain benefits that you powder room expect such as:
recommended kilo loss goals
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maximize safe weight loss world without end
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The healing process
A square and hairdo productiveness loss is not applicable a program, but a treatment for mind, junta and soul.Establishing a mental discipline and emotional control, provided by Ayurveda and Yoga methods will public assistance in consideration of train your native to system to mold poor slurp habits. After several treatments, your body decidedness already begin on reflect results as subconscious self begin to shed the unwanted pounds. Your mind and emotions are responding as well and you co-optation be pleased and encouraged in contemplation of continue.

Handiwork the decision to call weight appeasement centers Bengalurushould depend on the answers to these questions:
Do you wish to eliminatethe unhealthy effects you experience frombeing overweight?
Is the facility affiliated in despite of a medical vitals?
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Is there a holistic focuson mind, body and soul?

The Bangalore branch of the Tax Loss Center India,can take care of the answers vice they.The Meat is affiliated with a hospital, and myself idea bringing to light they tease the much needed solution you ought expect fromweight reduction centerin Bangalore.Him may contact yours truly by calling 984 554 3015 and ask versus impart an appointment. You may in like manner gam their online website toward get more about the Weight Collapse Center India’s Step by Step Impress and detached associated treatments.

How A Long Island Chiropractor Assists With Alleviate Muscle Pain
By Guy Lobdell

If individuals have been suffering debilitating pain in the back for long periods of time, they will at last need to seek help. With Long Island active release techniques therapy provided by reputable chiropractors, alleviation is possible. Patients will be eminently thrilled with how well the session has gone.

This particular therapy makes use of certain techniques to tweak the nerve so that it can be moved along the muscle fibers. This will provide a more favorable orientation for the muscle fibers, which will in turn cut down on the discomfort. The technique itself is delicate and should only be attempted by licensed and certified professionals.

Chronic pain can lead to weariness through the years. If men and women had previously suffered the injury in a car crash that is now decades-old, then they will likely be looking for a permanent solution. If traditional medical methods have not worked, a chiropractor can delve into the details and settle on an action plan.

Once the first few sessions have been completed, patients are likely to notice an increase in mobility right away. If they had been previously prevented from playing sports, they can begin taking up these activities once again. They might even use their new-found health to sign up for a marathon.

Individuals will also likely find that their quality of life improves. By alleviating the muscle pain within their back, men and women can soon participate in events with their families that were off-limits to them before. The rekindling of personal relationships will be wonderful.

Ultimately, prospective patients should make an appointment with their chosen chiropractor as soon as they can. The professional can examine their medical condition in detail and quickly come up with a viable action plan. With dedication, the discomfort can be slowly drawn down until it at last disappears.




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South Korea Delivers Historical Thrills With Assassination and Memories of the Sword

South Korea Delivers Historical Thrills With Assassination and Memories of the Sword

Well Go USA The folks at Well Go USA have long been fans of South Korean cinema, and happily they’ve made a habit of opening new Korean films here in the United States so the rest of us can share in the joy. Two new releases have hit our shores, and while they’re completely different experiences they’re both period action films with strong female leads. Honestly, that should be enough to get you…

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The Best Ways To Get Dental Implants OKC
By Shawn Hunter

Clients are constantly expectant that the professional they hire for any work will be outstanding. This is because everyone intends to experience the worth of the cash they pay. To guarantee that an individual gets complete perks, one should take into consideration the professionalism of the expert. When they want dental implants OKC people go to leading dentists in their city.

Consumers in Oklahoma City constantly desire to get the most effective quality which at times becomes tough. The specialist hired should have the right skills which entail experience. In this situation, the experience will remain in terms what has actually been achieved in the previous. Business which deal with similar situations will be have an upper hand in taking care of any activity.

Nearly all the companies in world today have a site. This provides clients a chance to comment regarding the service. The suggestion of evaluations and rankings has actually additionally been boosted in the contemporary world. These are excellent platforms which one could check out to recognize how a firm is doing. This assists reveal exactly what has been achieved and how people feel concerning it.

Price has actually also pioneered when it pertains to deciding on the appropriate specialist. This is since individuals wish to know that they are saving some coins at the end of the day. For those which are aiming to save, they ought to try to find company who supply outstanding service at a tiny price. This could be done by comparing rates.

Searching online is likewise a process which has actually been verified worth executing. This gives one the landscape of the advancements in the market. For those that have researched, they have the ability to know the various companies and also what they provide. The on the internet platform likewise gives a person the opportunity to understand the capacity of the employees being employed. This consists of the opportunity to know their skills and also level of imagination.

Many arguments have been gotten in the aspects to consider while picking a specific service company. It should also be comprehensive of the requirement for a permit. A company which is not signed up will certainly appear unqualified. Over the years, the specialists in this field have actually likewise made certain that they get registered. This can be verified from the official directory sites online. An individual will hence continue to be positive that all the job will certainly be excellent.

Every price which is incurred in the service should be accounted for. For many years, people have made certain that they ask different people of the company they prefer. This includes inspecting the recommendations they have made online. The firms which are highly suggested will certainly be chosen. This is considering that they reveal what needs to be performed in every action of the means.

Numerous benefits are experienced when a client locates the appropriate service provider. This consists of obtaining a customized solution for any sort of demand. Individuals are likewise able to explain their problems to the experts involved. With this, they will consistently provide the finest quality of job which is pleasing.




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Discipline is Hard but Weakness is not my Game

I’ve been feeling waves of regression washing over me recently but at the same time I’ve been leaning forward. My ambitions, exuberant and overwhelming, have been leading me. And, again, I’m arrested in a state of complete antinomy: I’m satisfied and dissatisfied, hopeful and disillusioned–I feel these over the same things.

Leaping toward the shimmering notion of how I think I ought to be is what I’m trying to do, yet there’s this unbearable inertia in my life. If I say I want to write, I find I should throw away people, or care considerably less. In my constant struggle for creating something noteworthy I encounter discouragement. Well, on the heartfelt occasions. Of course I get the you’re great and the it’ll be fine but what are those supposed to mean? Not even the ones closest to me think of my writing as a tangible thing with tangible effects. For my environment it’s no more than a dream I’m sometimes having. Certainly romantic but not to be pursued to the damage of even the smallest thing.

I often wonder if the world’s as small as some people see it. Do I need a small job in order to this and that? Well, I refuse the necessity of it and always have. The start of a career or a seed-like job is a different case but I’m regularly pressured toward being practical the ordinary way and I see that as derogatory. I do encourage some folks to master base skills and unromantic professions and I am not against the concept of these, only I feel they get the wrong animal with me. I can’t do all that other people can but I have a strong conviction that I can excel, even create new frontiers, where our race seldom goes: the abstract, the grand and often vain projects that frighten so many. I crave those paths but I get the feeling that with it I frighten those, who love me.

Yet, after all, on a few days I too wake up with doubt. I despise doubt and loathe it, along with cowardice and ignorance but, much like the next person, I’m susceptible to all of those. Sometimes I read back what I’ve written and I’m disappointed. Then, of course, I get down to the part of grinding and go over it once again, until I can accept it but the next day it’s exactly the same amount of disappointment over yesterday’s promising new words. The temptation is unceasing, the beating inside me is counter-driving my soul, into disbelief and the will to abandon my work. But then it’s the universal beating of all ages and if anyone ever amounted to greatness, it’s no more than walking without letting herself be broken. We don’t need anyone for that–to break us. We are very efficient at giving terrible advice to ourselves, although it’s true that the world around us lavishes it at us without limit.

Similarly, in my emotions I’m conflicted. There are things that I want and there are people I want. My desires are sharply defined, there’s no need there, but I regret to want them. There’s no smart way around this though. Truthfully I don’t even know the objects of my desires thoroughly, yet if I were made to choose I would throw away all I have to have those. I think it would be painful but it wouldn’t take me more than a moment of having to contain whatever is trying to get out through our throats, when we feel profound loss, then I’d be immersed in the crisp breeze. I am certain I have the capacity to be like that only I know it’s wrong. It’s immoral and unwise, yet the demands of the soul of a man, who’s otherwise consciously fighting to reach his other desires, called ambitions, are hard to put away.

My desires resist and pull me. Whichever is to be attained is painful, and the ones that I denounce, will not leave me. Everything’s hard–said the poet.

The sun rises and the sun goes down, and hastens to the place where it rises. The wind blows to the south, and goes round to the north; round and round goes the wind, and on its circuits the wind returns. All streams run to the sea, but the sea is not full; to the place where the streams flow, there they flow again. All things are full of weariness; a man cannot utter it; the eye is not satisfied with seeing, nor the ear filled with hearing. What has been is what will be, and what has been done is what will be done; and there is nothing new under the sun.