Your ships don’t need to be “healthy”
I don’t know where exactly* this idea that your ship needs to be „wholesome and healthy“ comes from, but can it disappear again, please?
Ships can be variety of things. Yes, there’s the ship where the characters are great together, make each other happy and complete and the world a better place. There’s those people who are scorching hot together and should totally hook up. But there are also ships that are all about imperfect people coming to terms with each other’s flaws. People who should be really bad for each other, but somehow find happiness against the odds. Terrible people loving no one but each other. People being really, really bad for each other, but in an interesting way. There’s the ship that’s a beautiful disaster and the one that will end in murder and bloodshed. Ships are just two (or more) people who are interesting to you when they’re together.
Also, there’s a variety of reasons for why you would ship, why you want to read fic, write fic, draw art, write meta, chat with your friends about it. „I think they should be canon!“ is common, butfar from universal. „I want some hot porn with attractive people!“ is totally legit. „I want to read about people like me!“ is great, but so is „I want to read about people who are not like me at all!“ „Life sucks and I just want a happy escape“ is fine, as is „I want to safely explore things that scare me in real life.“ „This ship lends itself to my narrative and/or sexual kinks.“ “They interacted a lot in canon and I want more of it.” “They didn’t interact much in canon, but I thought it would be interesting if they did.” And so on.
The thing is, none of this makes your ship any more valuable or right. It does not reflect on your morality or your worth as a person. Some of the sweetest people I’ve met in fandom have written the filthiest, most “problematic” smut.
You are allowed to let Kylo Ren and General Hux find true love in each other. Or have them hate each other’s guts and still do it like rabbits. Have Snoke arrange a marriage between them for political reasons. Explore what it would mean for them if one of them changed sides. Have them meet in an alternative reality where they’re a Jedi and a rebel, or baristas or high school students.
Let Rey rescue Kylo from the Dark Side with her love. Let Kylo corrupt her. Let them be star-crossed lovers who are eternally caught on two sides of a conflict. Reverse their roles from the beginning. Let them be strangers, let them be cousins. Hell, ship them as siblings; it’s Star Wars after all.
You are allowed to ship Shiro and Keith as a 24-year-old instructor and a 16-year-old cadet having a forbidden relationship. Or maybe you prefer mutual respect growing into a relationship after they have fought in an intergalactic war for a few years. Or maybe Keith is an enemy Galra prince and Shiro is his prisoner?
It’s all good.
Your ships don’t have to be healthy role models for RL relationships. Your ships don’t have to be “pure”. The only one your ships have to be good for is you. And you are the only one who gets to decide if they are.
*actually, I do have some ideas.