should of gone in to uni

Just a lil redraw from “Super Watermelon Island” so how many years since Jailbreak? I still wasn’t in the fandom back then yet I watched that ep for the blue-red canon gay ship

Fools With Benefits

Hi there! So, here I bring you my new oneshot. I have been writing it for two days and I think I’m happy with the outcome of this story, so I hope you like it and any type of feedback is welcome!

summary: Dan and Phil have a ‘‘friends with benefits’‘ kind of relationship. They are both in love and afraid to confess in case the lose each other. What will happen when they both decide to come clear with the other on the same day which happens to be Phil’s brother’s wedding? Will everything turn out okay?

words: 5.6k

no trigger warnings

authors note: more mature language and scenes that in my other oneshots

“You back looks great all scratched up.” Dan said as he bit his lower lip while he checked Phil out from the bed, who was putting his black skinny jeans in the middle of the bedroom.

They had just had sex and now Phil was getting ready to go and help his brother with some wedding thing. Or at least what is what Dan understood before the two of them stumbled into his flat and ended up undressing each other in the hallway.

“Yeah?” Phil looked at him over his shoulder, also looking at Dan as if he was the most delicious treat he was going to eat, “Yours should look the same after you fucked me yesterday in the sofa, I bet it also looks good.” he said with a cheeky smile before grabbing his button up shirt and rapidly doing up the buttons.

Dan chuckled at this and threw him a pillow, which Phil easily dodged by ducking his head and landed by his closet “Go or you will be late!”

Phil offered him a smile before picking up the pillow and throwing it back to Dan, who grabbed it and clutched it to his naked chest.

“See you at uni.” And with that Phil was gone.

_____________

Dan laid in his bed just thinking for an hour after Phil had left, still hugging the pillow the blue eyed had thrown at him. He and Phil weren’t in a relationship, they were just “friends with benefits” you could say. After a drunken hook-up at one of their many uni parties, they decided to continue having sex without any strings attached, just two guys helping each other out, that was it.

They first established some rules. One, just pecks were allowed, no tongue action (they only kissed pasionately that first time and that was it, no more) and two, if any of them wanted to meet and they weren’t with each other already they would text “I’m lonely” and the other would come, only if they were in the mood too.

But Dan was having trouble with this “relationship”. Everytime he and Phil meet he always had the urge to kiss him deep, but he knew he couldn’t and had to repress it. Oh, yeah, he also forgot to mention he was in love with Phil.

Somewhere in their agreement Dan realized that he wanted more than just casual sex with Phil. He wanted little dates in the park and lazy Sundays by the tv; but, he was sure Phil didn’t want that with him.

Dan let out a long sigh before climbing out of now cold sheets and heading to the shower. He needed to clear his mind.

_____________

Phil was mindlessly walking to meet his brother to talk about his wedding. Yeah, Martyn was getting married to his high school sweethart and he still hadn’t found anyone. Well, he kind of had Dan but… They were just “friends with benefits” so it really wasn’t a boyfriend/boyfriend relationship, and he wanted one of those. But not with anyone, just with Dan. He wanted to be with Dan; he wanted to be his boyfriend.

He had been wanting to ask Dan out properly, but he was afraid the brown haired didn’t want something more and their “friends with benefits” thing would go to waste along with their friendship. He let out a frustrated groan at this, he didn’t think being in love with someone would be so difficult.

“What’s bothering you so much, little brother?” a deep voice said behind him, making Phil jump a bit.

“Martyn! Don’t scare me like that!” the blue eyed turned around to hug his brother, “Nothing, just, life things…”

“Life things, uh? Do these life things have brown eyes and hair?” Martyn teased him, poking him in the ribs, “by the way, when are you going to tell Dan you love him?”

“Shhh! I don’t want the whole street to know!” Phil shushsed him, grabbing him by the forearm and pulling him to the zebra crossing, waiting for the light to turn green. “And I don’t know, I just don’t wanna lose him, okay?”

He was glad he told Martyn about his agreement with Dan. He had to after he showed up one day with hickeys on his neck and Martyn practically pressured him to tell him who he was seeing.

“I know that Phil, but maybe it’s best if you finally tell him, I mean, you two cannot keep this forever, right?” Martyn was right. They couldn’t keep this forever and he knew it. “Well, maybe…”

“Maybe what, Martyn? Just spit out what you wanna say.”

“Maybe you could tell him at my wedding! You are still bringing Dan as your ’‘plus one” right? It will be all romantic and nice.“ the oldest Lester rushed out, not wanting Phil to stop him midsentence.

’'I don’t think it’s a good idea… your wedding it’s only a week away, it is too soon! I’m not ready.” Phil complained. Saturday was just a week away and it was going to be an stressing week and… no, he couldn’t.

“You want me to be honest? I think Dan deserves to know that you love him, you cannot keep dragging you both into the rabbit hole of what a ’'friends with benefits” relationship or whatever it is that you two have, don’t you think?“ Martyn responded, now being him who had to bring his brother by the forearm so they could cross the street.

Phil nooded, really debating in his head if he should just go with his brother’s idea…

’'Don’t think too much about it, little brother. If you feel brave enough to tell him at the wedding just do, if not, well, you could always tell him some other day, but don’t wait years, please!” Martyn almost pleaded him in the middle of the street.

“Okay, I will think about it but I don’t promise anything!” Phil said, lifting his voice a bit at the last word.

“That’s my bro!” and then Martyn ruffled his hair, messing up his not so straightened black hair that had been slightly disheveled after his activities with Dan a few minutes ago…

“Stop it!” Phil laughed, trying to tame his hair, “Let’s go have a coffee before you start rating about how much you like the flavour for your wedding cake for the seventeenth time in this past week.”

“I think I only said it fifteen, but okay.”

Phil just contunued walking faster, leaving his brother behind.

_____________

Dan had invited his friend Louise over on Tuesday so she could help him with the suit he was going to wear to Phil’s brother’s wedding. Phil was Martyn’s best man and Dan was going as his 'plus one’ since he wasn’t really dating anyone and what a better way to bare a family wedding than bringing your best friend slash fuckbuddy to it, uh?

He and Phil hadn’t been able to see each other yesterday or today at uni, they both had busy schedules and Phil even more with the wedding being in like five days so he just texted each other in class breaks or at night. He was kind of missing Phil’s presence, and it had just been a few days…

“I think you should wear the black one, Dan, the grey doesn’t suit you that much…” Louise commented, watching Dan’s reflection on the giant mirror of his bedroom.

“Yeah, I also think so…” Dan murmured, appreciating the body the suit made him. He looked great. “Now, which tie?” he turned to face Louise and picked up the two he though they would look the best on him and he held them against his chest which was claded in the white button up shirt he was wearing underneath his suit.

“Um, you know, the scarlet red looks great but the emerald green though, it looks amazing!” Louise exclaimed, snatching the red one from Dan’s hand and throwing it behind her, “also Phil loves green so it’s a bonus.”

“Yeah, he loves green, it’s his favourite colour…” Dan ducked his head and turned around again, trying not to show the blush that was appearing on his cheeks due to the though of Phil linking his tie.

“Do not dare to hide your rosy cheeks from me Daniel Howell!” Louise said, pointing at the reflection in the mirror where she could see everything, “I know thinking of Phil makes you al soft so don’t even try!”

Dan chuckled. Louise was a great friend, really. When he told her he and Phil had a kind of no-strings-attached sex she had been a bit worried about him, but about a few months ago he confessed to her that he had fallen in love with Phil and was waiting for the perfect moment to tell him and she was estastic. Even though he didn’t think Phil loved him back he couldn’t hide his feelings anymore.

“Are you planning on telling him you love him at the wedding?” Louise’s voice brought him back to reality, “I know you think he doesn’t love you back but let me tell you, I have seen the way he looks at you at lectures or when we all hang out and that is love, I know it when I see it.”

“I don’t know, it’s his brother’s wedding, he will probably be around his family all the time…” Dan muttered, giving up trying to tie the piece of clothing around his neck and sitting next to Louise in his bed, “I just realized that casual sex with him it’s not enough for me. I want to hold his hand while we walk or kiss him everytime he jumps from excitement when he gets a good grade on a essay but I cannot do that because I’m not his boyfriend and it sucks.” Dan sighed and let his body fall slowly against the mattress, ending with a 'puf’.

Louise put a comforting hand over his knee, shaking it a bit, “I think you should tell him, maybe by the end of the wedding, see if you can get him alone…”

Dan was silently thinking about what his friend was saying before speaking again, “If it doesn’t work out you are going to have to buy all the ice cream and tissues that are left in the supermarket next to your flat.”

“It will, don’t worry. It will.” Louise offered him a smile before letting herself fall back down onto the mattress also, “Now, what do you say we watch a movie in our pyjamas, eh?”

“You are the best, Louise. Thank you.”

“No need to thank me, you know I’m here for everything Dan, but now, popcorn and movies await!” Louise jumped from the bed and held out a hand for her friend so he could lift himself up.

“You know? Popcorn is Phil’s favourite food, he eats it everytime; when he is studying, reading a book, playing videogames… ” Dan cheekily told her, grabbing her hand and standing up next to her.

Louise let out a groan and smaked him on the shoulder, “Stop being so in love Howell, ugh, it’s disgusting.”

Even though she was already out of the room she could hear Dan’s loud laugh echoing through the hallway, following her to prepare the movie night.

_____________

The day was finally here. It was the Saturday his brother was getting married and he couldn’t stop pacing around the church’s altar stairs, where he would be standing in less than an hour.

Phil felt a bit guilty because on the previous days to the wedding he had practically ignored Dan because of his nerves even though he had wanted the opposite of that. He just wanted a comforting hug from the brown eyed and to tell him everything was going to be fine, that he wasn’t going to fuck it up as the clumsy guy he was.

What if he didn’t come because Phil just didn’t make sure he was going to come? What if Dan was mad at him and decided that not showing up whas the perfect revenge for it? No, Dan wouldn’t do that, right?

But not only that. He had also been worrying a lot about how to tell Dan he loves him. It was too much…

“Phil, you are going to create a hole on the floor with all your pacing.” he heard his mom’s voice a few feet away from him.

“I’m just nervous mum, what if I trip or something? You know coordination is not my thing…” Phil worriedly said, looking at the floor.

“It’s not going to happen, don’t worry dear. But I’m sensing something more is wrong, do you wanna talk about it?”

He knew his mom would sense that he couldn’t be just that nervous about tripping or falling. But he couldn’t tell his mum that he had just been ignoring his best friend and was afraid he wouldn’t come and ruin his plan of telling him that he loves him.

“I’m fine mum, it will go away.” He could see his mom didn’t believe him, but he didn’t care, this wasn’t the moment to confess something like that.

She just nodded and brought him into a hug, which he gladly accepted and let himself find some comfort in his mother’s arms “Dan will come, don’t worry, okay?”

Phil just separated himself from the hug to look dazzedly at his mum, 'how did she even know?’

“Philip, don’t look so surprised, a mother knows best.”

And with that Mrs. Lester made her way out of the venue to greet the few guests that were starting to arrive, leaving Phil to defeatedly sit in one of the benches.

_____________

Dan paid the taxi that brought him to the venue and was now climbing up the stairs to the main entrance of the church where the wedding was taking place.

He had been deep in thought all the way to here because he and Phil hadn’t been talking that much this week. He sensed Phil was just nervous and he probably didn’t want to bother him with wedding stuff, so he kept it all to himself like he always did, even though Dan had tried to approach Phil he just dismissed it, telling him he was fine when he clearly just needed a hug.

But now it wasn’t time to dwell on what happened those days before, he needed to make sure today went okay so he could finally confess his feelings, even though he was sure they wouldn’t be reciprocated…

A chirpy voice called him from the main entrance as he was just stepping the last few three stairs, “Daniel! It’s so nice too see you, look at you all dashing in that suit, such a handsome gentleman you are!”

“Hello Mrs. Lester, thank you so much,” Dan blushed a bit but still found his charm to compliment her too, “You look beautiful too, lilac looks good on you.”

Mrs. Lester just shushed him and grabbed his forearm, bringing him inside, “Now go, see if you can stop Phil from creating a hole by the altar from all the nervous pacing he was doing.”

“But…” and before Dan could even respond she was already greeting another guest.

The brown haired just sighed and started walking down further into the church, spotting Phil sitting down in one of the front rows, as if he was admiting the architecture from the church’s ceiling. The light that was streaming down the stained glass windows was creating different patterns on it, making the scenery much beautiful than it already was.

Dan quietly made his way down next to Phil, trying not to make any noise till he was sitting next to his best friend, who hadn’t spotted him already. “Nervous?”

Phil jumped up from the bench at the voice and let out a loud 'Ahhh’ at Dan’s appearence, “Dan! Don’t scare me like that again!”

Dan laughed, standing up in front of Phil, “I just had to, you were in the perfect position to be scared!” Phl just huffed, glad that Dan had decided to show up.

“At least you weren’t pacing like your mom told me you would be, care to tell me why are you so nervous?” Dan inquired, looking a bit worriedly at Phil, who sighed and stayed silent for what is seemed like minutes, as if he was debating if really tell Dan.

“I was worried you weren’t going to come,” Phil finally let out in a quiet voice, ducking his head down as if he was afraid of voicing his thoughts, “After I mostly ignored you this last few days I was afraid you wouldn’t come…”

“Hey,” Dan took a step closer, posing both hands on Phil’s forearms and rubbing them a bit, “I know you were nervous about the wedding. Yes, I felt that we were a bit distant but it’s okay, I understand.” Dan could sense Phil still needed a bit of reassuring.

“So we are good?” Phil lifted his head so he could look into the deep brown eyes in front of him.

“Of course,” Dan brought him into a hug, which he felt Phil needed by the way he clung to him.

Once they separated Dan was feeling a bit brave so he leaned in a bit so he could whisper into Phil’s ear, “now c'mon, let’s walk around a bit; you need to show how good you look in that suit.” He didn’t care if they weren’t a couple, he couldn’t pass the opportunity to compliment Phil.

The blue eyed’s cheek tinted red, but soon he leaned in also, feeling confident, “You look great too, I love the green tie, it’s my favourite colour as if you already didn’t know.”

Dan playfully pushed him back a bit, both of them laughing a bit before walking towards the gardens that were at the back of the church.

_____________

The whole ceremony was beautiful. Dan and Phil kept glancing at each other, and even though they were a few metres apart they could see the others’ watery eyes when they had heard the newlywed couple say 'I do’.

The just married couple was having its’ first dance in the middle of the hotel ballroom where they had had the banquet a few hours ago. All of the guests were admiring the way they couple moved easily around the room, big smiles in both of their faces. Phil must admit he was a bit jealous of his brother in that moment.

Phil wanted that so bad. The happiness Martyn was showing, sharing it with the person he loved most. But he couldn’t have that, not when that person didn’t love him back. He looked back at Dan, who was sitting next to him and saw the small smile he had on his face, admiring the couple as most of the others were doing. He was probably imagining himself and his future partner dancing this way, and that partner wasn’t Phil, he was sure of it… Just the thought of it made him want to cry.

Phil felt how his eyes were watering, and he didn’t want to cry in front of everyone, even thought he could pass it as an emotional moment he was sure his mother (and probably Dan) would notice that it wasn’t because of the wedding dance.

He suddenly heard the music change and blurry people making their way to the dancefloor, meaning the newlyweds’ dance had ended so he rapidly croaked out an 'excuse me’ and left the room almost running, not wanting anyone to see him cry.

_____________

It all happened in a blur. Dan was just enjoying the dancing couple and was about to ask Phil if he wanted to go outside to skip the dancing since they both didn’t really like it but Phil stood up faster than lightning, excused himself and went out. Dan could swear he heard Phil’s voice crack, as if he was about to cry.

He looked around, and his gaze met with Mrs. Lester, who had a bit of worried expression on her face as she had also seen Phil run out of the room. Dan saw her mouthing a 'go’ while moving her head in the direction of the door his son had escaped from not minutes ago. Dan didn’t even think about it and also darted out after Phil, hoping he hadn’t gone too far.

He looked in the bathroom first, but it was empty. He then tried by the room they had left their coats, but he wasn’t there either. He checked the big garden that surrounded the hotel and was about to turn back when he spoted a human figure sitting in one of the swinging benches that was hanging from the branches of a big tree.

Dan looked at him attentively. Phil had his head down, looking at how his feet just graced the gravel that was under the bench. He saw how the blue eyed sniffled a bit, he had been crying for sure.

He slowly approached him, “hey” he said softly, not wanting to disturb Phil, who just lifted his head and cleaned the few tears that were falling down from his eyes.

“What are you doing here, Dan? Just go back, I just needed a moment, that’s all…” Phil said, looking  to the left as Dan sat next to him by his right side.

“I’m not going anywhere, not when you are crying” Dan was thinking about grabbing his hand, but thought twice about it and decided not to.

Phil turned his head a bit as if he was about to tell some lame excuse about why he was crying, but Dan didn’t let him, “Don’t lie to me and tell me it’s because of the wedding, Phil Lester. I know you and I know something is making you sad.”

The blue eyed sighed deeply. “I was watching them dance and I was just thinking that I want something like that, you know? It made me realize how lonely I am.”

“But you have me.” Dan interrupted him, which made Phil look at him a bit surprised at his outburst, “I mean, we are best friends but we are not in a romantic relationship, we just fuck but…” he started to explain but he didn’t really know what or how to explain.

“But what?” Phil repeated, still looking at Dan, who was gaping like a fish as he was trying to find the best words to explain what he was about to say.

Dan sighed. It was now or never. Even if it ruined his friendship with Phil, it was time to confess his love for him.

“But, we could maybe have one?” Dan cautiously let out, as if he was counting his words. He looked back at Phil, who was just silent. 'I fucked up’ was the only thought repeatedly in Dan’s mind. “Look Phil, I’m sorry forget I said…”

“Do you really want a romantic relationship with me, Dan?” Phil spoke, interrupting Dan mid-sentence.

“Yes, I want that but if you don’t it’s okay I can just…” Dan sighed again, not really knowing what to expect from it.

“What if I also want to be with you? Romantically, I mean.” Phil suddenly said, making Dan look at him as if he was mad.

“You want to be with me? You want to be my…” Dan paused, not really knowing if he should voice the 'word’ or not.

“Boyfriend?” Phil finished it for him, a small smile showing on his face, “Yeah, I want to… and I have been wanting too for a long time now.” Phil confessed, blushing a bit.

“Are you telling me that we both have been wanting to go further in this 'friends with benefits’ thing and we waited till now to say it?” Dan almost screamed at their stupidness. Yeah, he couldn’t describe it any other way.

“Hey, don’t be mad” Phil grabbed Dan’s hand, lacing their fingers together. ‘’You could say we were fools with benefits now’’ making both of them chuckle a bit but Phil turned serious again before continuing. “I was afraid I would lose you forever and I didn’t want that…”

Dan calmed down a bit when he felt his hand in Phil’s. It was different from all those times when he and Phil had laced hands while they had sex… It felt nice. “I was afraid of that too. I was afraid you didn’t want this with me that’s why mostly I continued with the agreement we had. At least that way I could still keep you close to me…” his voice quieted down in the last few words.

Phil brought Dan into a much needed hug, scooting a bit closer, where both instantly relaxed in each others arms. It felt safe. It was safe. After what it seemed like hours they finally separated but Dan let his arms rest around Phil’s shoulders, bringing his face a bit closer too.

“I have been wanting to do something I couldn’t do in our agreement, and I would like to do it now if you let me…” Dan whispered, biting his bottom lip.

Phil curiously looked at him, as if he didn’t remember what Dan was talking about, “What are you talking about? What couldn’t we do?”

“I’m talking about this…” but before Dan could press their lips together in a deep kiss a piercing voice was heard through the garden’s entrance “Philip Lester! Family pictures NOW!”

Both of them separated, jumping away from each other at Phil’s aunt’s voice, who was waiting for Phil to come to her so they could go an take the pictures.

“Sorry Dan I…” Phil apologized, standing up form the bench, not really knowing what to do about his aunt’s interruption.

“Go, I will be around.” Dan softly said, a small smile appearing, “but, find me later so we can take a picture, okay?”

“Okay.” Phil mirrored his smile and started walking backwards towards his aunt, not taking his eyes out of Dan who was just looking at him and mouthing him to go.

“Philip we don’t have all day!” his aunt’s voice called for him again, making him turn around and run towards her.

Dan just had to laugh a the way his aunt was scolding him for being late to the photo session. He could have a drink while he waited for his boyfriend to come back. He giggled on his way to the bar.

Boyfriend, what a nice word.

_____________

The wedding had ended and Phil was driving Dan to his flat. He and Dan had managed to take a few pictures and dance a bit even though their coordination wasn’t the best they had a good time. Phil had been wanting to continue what was about to happen in the garden a few hours ago, but they didn’t seem to be alone and he didn’t really feel comfortable kissing Dan as he wanted to in front of his family. It would have to wait.

“It was fun.” Dan’s soft and tired voice startled him from his concentrated driving, “I’m glad I had the honor of being your plus one.”

“I’m glad you accepted the invitation, I don’t know if I could have handled my family by myself.” they both laughed at Phil’s response and before he could say anything more Phil parked the car in front of Dan’s building, indicating they had arrived.

“We’re here” the blue eyed commented, turning off the ignite and unbuckling his seatbelt, Dan doing the same. “Can I walk you up?”

Dan just nodded and exited the car, waiting for Phil to do the same and walking towards the entrance of the building, patiently waiting for the elevator, a comfortable silence between the two on the way up to Dan’s floor where in a few steps they finally reached the door.

Dan leaned back against his front door, looking at Phil, “Thank you for today… boyfriend.” It felt a bit weird to say it still, even though it had a familiar ring to it.

They both chuckled, still not believing they had had the courage to take a step forward in their relationship. “You are welcome… boyfriend.” Phil responded, moving slowly towards Dan so he was closer to him, their foreheads almost touching.

“Do you think we could finish now what we were about to do in the garden?” Phil shyly asked, looking into Dan’s brown eyes, which were more black than brown.

“Well, no one is stopping you, right?” Dan teased, grabbing Phil’s tie and bringing him a bit closer than he was, their foreheads now touching.

Phil shook his head and closed the few centimetres that were separating their lips, slowly caressing each other, enoying the new sensation that they hadn’t been able to feel in a long time. Soon Phil’s hands made their way to Dan’s waist, bringing him closer as they both deepened the kiss, tongues teasing each other trying to remember the taste since that first time they slept together, a few moans escaping their mouths, not really wanting to stop. Dan moved his free hand to Phil’s hair, trying to bring him even closer.

Once air was needed they reclutantly separated but didn’t let go of each other’s bodies, “why did we establish that stupid rule of not kissing with tongue?” Dan asked in a few breaths.

“I don’t know, I guess we thought it had been enough when it clearly was not.” and with that Phil leaned in again, biting Dan’s bottom lip as if asking for permission to kiss him again, which the brown eyed gladly granted him closing the space between them once more.

“Stay, please.” Dan whispered once they parted their lips again. “We don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to but I wanna sleep next to you. We never stayed to sleep and I want that, I want to know how is it to sleep next to you.” he rushed out, feeling that he needed to get those feelings out of his chest.

Phil looked at him, a soft smile on his face. One of his hands cupped Dan’s cheek, making him lean into the touch, “If you want me to stay I will. I bet you are adorable trying to evade the first rays of sunlight that make its way through your curtains.”

Dan playfully hit him on the chest, creating a small space between them but quickly grabbing Phil by the tie again and kissing him, not deepening it, just brushing their lips together as he fished his keys from the front pocket, trying to skillfully open the door but not succeding.

Phil separated from him, chuckling at what his boyfriend was trying to do, “now, open it.”

Dan quickly turned around and easily unlocked the door, blindly throwing his keys somewhere into he hallway before grabbing Phil by the hand and closing the front door by pushing the blue eyed’s body against it, kissing him passionatelly for who knows how many minutes till they made it into Dan’s bed, where they continued kisssing till early hours into the morning.

You could say they only stopped to confess truthful 'I love you’s that ended up in sweet love making.  

_____________

Dan and Phil had been dating for a month already. They went on multiple dates, that weren’t that different from what they did when they had only been friends, but now they got to kiss each other and hold hands wherever and whenever they wanted. And the sex had gotten much better, which was a bonus to be honest.

They had just finished a round of slow morning sex and were just laying in the middle of Dan’s bed, naked and kissing lazily while their bodies were covered by the thin sheet protecting them from the early morning chill.

Dan was about to push his boyfriend into the mattress so he laid underneath him when suddenly Phil stopped moving his lips, separating their bodies a bit.

“What’s wrong?” Dan asked, looking into Phil’s eyes, an alarmed expression appearing on his face.

Phil just stood up, running around the bedroom, picking up the clothes that were scattered around it and starting to dress himself, “I promised Martyn and Cornelia I would pick them up from the airport in about an hour since they are coming back today from their honeymoon!”

Phil just finished putting on his shoes when he took a last look at his boyfriend, who was just looking at him with an amused expression, laying in bed as he leaned back on his elbows with his bare chest marked by multiple hickeys, messy curls on top of his head while bitting his bottom lip as he tried to repress a laugh and the sheet just covering enough not to tempt Phil to go back to bed with him.

“One last kiss before you go?” Dan said in a sweet tone, one that he knew Phil couldn’t resist.

Phil rolled his eyes but smiled, crawling into bed again over the sheets, pushing his body between Dan’s legs as he leaned down to kiss him, his hands resting next to Dan’s waist, trying not to crush him.

Dan smiled against the kiss, lifting his right hand to Phil’s nape, caressing the small baby hairs there and bringing him closer while he bit his boyfriend’s bottom lip, making Phil open up his mouth so their tongues could caress each other, making the kiss more eager than before, earning a few moans from the blue eyed.

The hand on Phil’s nape made its’ way down to Phil’s jeans, unbottoning them slowly, palming his boyfriend’s already hardness, making him groan loudly.

“You know what? They can get a taxi.”

And with that Dan flipped them, making Phil’s back hit the soft mattress as he let his boyfriend undress him again so they could enjoy another round of morning sex.

anonymous asked:

So, you mentioned trans people asking/betting/playing for more features of their gender, do trans students ever come out of the uni fully transistioned without having gone through hrt? ((If so thatd be awesome))

It’s high stakes to gamble for, but a few people with more luck and certainly more reckless courage than they probably should have have pulled it off in the past

Sunrise Surprise

More fluff, more Harry. Happy Monday! xxh

You’d been tossing and turning all night, unable to find a comfortable spot in Harry’s bed. It wasn’t like the bed was the issue; it was huge, covered in big blankets and too many pillows for two people – you should have no problem falling asleep. But that wasn’t it.

Harry wasn’t there.

The apartment had felt empty for the past six weeks while he’d been gone, touring around the world and having the time of his life. Being a uni student, there was no way that you could take off half of a semester to travel the world, as much as you’d wanted to. So, that left you alone in Harry’s apartment you’d begun to call yours after being together for almost a year.

It was home, but didn’t feel like it when Harry wasn’t there. And he wouldn’t be there for another 2 weeks. Weeks may as well be years at this point.

Shaking yourself out of your thoughts, you rolled over to look at your phone for the time.

2:38 AM.

Groaning, you dropped your phone back onto the bedside table and stared at the ceiling. Each night had gotten worse, it was harder and harder to relax knowing that you’d wake up the next day without him. Tears started to well up in your eyes and silently snuck down your cheeks. You weren’t mad at Harry – you knew how happy this made him, and you’d signed up for this when you two began to get more serious. But nights like these were hard.

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Muggle AU + “It’s exam seasons and I just found you trying to drown yourself in a bowl of ramen noodles” university au

“James? James!”

He heard his names, but he didn’t want to wake up. Not right now. It felt like he hadn’t slept in weeks and now that he was getting the chance to, he didn’t want to waste it. Fate, however, didn’t seem to agree with him.

James jolted awake as Lily smacked his arm rather harshly.

“Lily,” he whined, rubbing his arm.

His girlfriend just have him a sympathetic look as she reached over and pulled off a ramen noodle that was stuck to his cheek.

“You have finals in two days,” Lily said softly. “And you’re falling asleep in your lunch. I don’t think that’s a good sign.”

James groaned as he laid his head on his arms. “Can’t I just skip the exam and be a doctor anyway?”

“You could try,” she replied. “But I’m pretty sure no hospital would hire you.”

“Why is this so hard?”

For James, school had always been easy, even when he went to uni. Learning and putting what he had learned to use had never been as hard as it should have been. Lily hated the ease with which he learned. Medical school was another breed of animal apparently. It had James stretched thin, and he was almost sure that he was at his breaking point.

“Oh, Jamie,” Lily muttered as she rubbed the back his head. “If you had gone through this in sixth form, then you’d be used to it.”

James turned his head to glare at his grinning girlfriend. This was most certainly not funny. He could fail because of this stupid test and here Lily was laughing at him. His smirking girlfriend moved the bowl of ramen noodles to the sink and then proceeded to plop down in his lap.

“You’re going to ace this test, James,” Lily told him as she played with the ends of his hair. “Just like you ace every test. I don’t know why you’re stressing now.”

“Because I haven’t read over the book twice,” James replied, reaching around Lily to grab said book. “I always read through the book at least twice before an exam and I haven’t finished my study cards and-”

“James!” Lily exclaimed, snatching his hand before it reached the book and placing it on her waist. “When have you ever needed study cards? You never used them before and you certainly don’t need them now. I bet if I quizzed you on whatever was in that hundred ton book of yours that you’d know every answer. James, you know you’re smart and I know you’re going to pass this exam so stop stressing.”

James blew out a breath. Of course, Lily was right.

“I needed that,” he muttered. “Thanks.”

“What are girlfriends for?” she responded. “Oh and that picture of you with your face in a bowl of ramen noodles is going on Instagram.”

“You wouldn’t dare,” James said.

“Oh, I would,” Lily replied as she rose from his lap. “Sirius is going to get a kick out of it.”

So Many Stars (Ch. 1)

Pairing: Phan
Genre: Chaptered fic, AU
Word count: 3,320 words
Description: After graduating with his law degree, Dan decides to move to Japan to teach English for a year.

A/N: so i’ve been wanting to write a phan au where they are english teachers in japan for a long time. this is going to be a pretty long, chaptered fic. please read if you’re interested!

*******************************************************************************************

It was 36 degrees outside — literally human body temperature — and the air was so thick with humidity Dan was pretty sure he could take a bite out of it. Yet here he was, sat in a full suit and tie in a room where the only relief from the sweltering heat came from the half-assed breeze that occasionally drifted through the open windows. His shirt was plastered to his back with sweat, and he was pretty sure it was going to have to be surgically removed later on. The vinyl couch he sat on felt like it was made of lava. 

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hiatus

OK so. I’m going to go on a ‘hiatus’ of sorts in the sense that I won’t be active on my blog but my queue should be able to sustain my blog while I’m gone. 

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Partners In Crime

Summary: After Phil’s ex-girlfriend won’t leave him alone, Dan decides to help his neighbor out by pretending to be Phil’s new boyfriend. However with personal feelings on both sides, and neither willing to admit them aloud, sometimes the lines between the pretend and the actual blur. (Dan and Phil are next door neighbors in an apartment building, neither is a YouTuber)

Genre: fluff

Warnings: minor swearing, drinking

Words: 2,454

Phil threw himself onto Dan’s couch with a groan.

“Are you alright?” Dan asked, as he followed Phil into the lounge. Dan and Phil were neighbors, best friends really, who had lived next door to each other in a small apartment building for about five years now.

“No, my ex-girlfriend, Jessica, keeps parading her new boyfriend around, rubbing him in my face. It’s awful, mostly because she lives right down the hall and I keep bumping into them.”

Dan knew who Jessica was from previous conversations, and though he had never actually met Phil’s ex, he always thought that Phil could do better.

“I’m sorry,” Dan said, “that sounds like it sucks.”

Phil shrugged, “I wish I had someone I could rub in her face so she won’t get all the satisfaction.”

“That’s what you need!” Dan exclaimed, “Someone new.”

Phil shrugged again, “I guess, what I really need right now is a few games of Mario Cart.”

.

Later that week, Dan woke up at ten on a Saturday, which was odd enough in it’s self, and made the decision that since he didn’t have anything nearly sweet enough in his cupboards, he would head down to Starbucks for coffee and a pastry.

Stepping into the hall, the bright lights almost blinding his sleep heavy eyes, Dan noticed Phil’s familiar lanky form talking to a girl. Phil’s back was to him, but Dan could tell by the way Phil flinched as she grabbed his arm that the girl must be Jessica.

Phil looked like he was in between a rock and a hard place; he was slowly backing toward his apartment. The slump in his shoulders clearly said ‘leave me alone.’ Suddenly, Dan had an idea. It was a risky one, and Phil might yell at him later, but at least he would get his friend away from this awkward situation.

Ruffling his just straitened hair to give it the appearance of being slept on, Dan pulled his shirt off and dropped it on the floor of his apartment before quietly closing the door. Without thinking about what he was doing, Dan wandered over to the two others.

Taking note of a bag in Phil’s hand, which was from one of their favorite bakeries that was just down the road, an excuse formed on Dan’s lips, and he willed himself to look as tired as possible.

“Hey, Babe,” He said, wrapping an arm around Phil’s waist, letting his lips skim over the skin on Phil’s neck. He felt Phil stiffen in surprise, and then relax as he realized who it was, and just what Dan was doing. “Did you get my breakfast?” Snatching the bag from his best friend, Dan made a big show of opening it and looking inside the bag, giving Phil time to gather his thoughts.

“I didn’t realize you were dating again, Phil,” Jessica said, her voice almost a purr. She was pretty, with long limbs and shoulder length honey colored hair.

“Well my love life isn’t really your concern, anymore, Jessica,” Phil said, rubbing sweaty palms against his jeans.

“Hey, Babe,” Dan interrupted, “Can we go eat now?”

Sensing the real meaning behind Dan’s words, Phil nodded. “I’ll see you around Jessica.”

“Yeah see you,” Dan said, glaring at her over his shoulder as they walked away. Jessica withered under Dan’s gaze, which he tried not to feel smug about.

Phil pulled away from the arm around his waist, settling for grabbing Dan’s hand as he pulled him into his apartment.

.

“What was that?” Phil demanded, trying not to blush, trying not to stare at Dan’s bare chest. What would his best friend say if he knew how much Phil wished that the scene in the hallway was real? If he knew that Phil’s neck was still tingling from the ghost of Dan’s lips?

“You mean me saving your ass?” Dan asked, defensive, as if he had been expecting this reaction.

Phil held up his arms in surrender, “It’s not that I’m not grateful,” he amended, “I’m just surprised is all.”

Dan visibly relaxed, his shoulders – don’t focus on his shoulder, Phil scolded himself – loosening. “I didn’t know how else to help,” he admitted, “I was thinking on my feet.”

Personally, Phil thought that Dan’s thinking on his feet was pretty good, then. His chocolate hair was ruffled, like he had just woken up from sleeping on it, and his lack of a shirt was surprisingly suggestive.

“Thank you,” Phil whispered, even though Dan was the only person around.

“It was kind of fun, actually,” Dan said with a grin, “I forgot how much I missed acting.” Acting, Phil knows the word shouldn’t hurt him. Dan was just acting, and Phil knew that Dan didn’t like him like that, and the word shouldn’t sting, but it does. “I hope she doesn’t stay on you about it though,” Dan continued, unaware of Phil’s inner hurt.

“I’ll tell her we broke up,” Phil said with a shrug.

“You shouldn’t have to tell her anything,” Dan muttered, bitterly.

Phil’s only answer was another shrug, “Why were you up this early, anyway?”

Dan ignores the obvious change of topic, much to Phil’s relief. “I wanted breakfast,” he said, simply. Handing Phil his bag of pastries, Dan moved to leave.

“I have enough to share,” Phil said, offering out the bag instead of taking it back, a peace offering.

Dan smiled, “okay, fine, but I am going to go grab my shirt.”

.

For about a week nothing happened. The instance in the hallway was said to be forgotten by both parties, but sometimes Phil finds himself remembering the warmth of Dan’s breath on his neck, and Dan tries not to think about how natural Phil had fit when Dan wrapped his arm around the other boy’s waist.

For about a week Phil had successfully avoided Jessica.

The good luck didn’t last.

“Where’s your boyfriend?” Jessica asked, cornering Phil in the stairwell as he was on his way to Tesco, tossing her hair over her shoulder. She hadn’t always been like this, and Phil finds himself longing for her old messy buns and how they ate cereal at midnight on the floor of his bedroom. Those days were long gone. 

He’s supposed to say that Dan broke up with him, that was the agreement, but she looks so smug and he doesn’t really know why, but he opens his mouth and a lie spills out. “He went out for lunch with some old Uni friends.”

Jessica didn’t look convinced, “Well you guys should come to my boyfriend’s party next Saturday. So I can get to know your new man.”

“His name’s Dan,” Phil said, before biting his tongue. This game was supposed to be over.

Leaning forward Jessica put her hand on his arm, almost flirtatiously, “See you there.”

.

A knocking on his front door wakes Dan up, glancing at the time; he was shocked to realize it was nearly noon. How late, or rather early, had be been up last night? Pushing his duvet off and climbing out of bed, swiping a semi-clean t-shirt off the floor and pulling it over his head. As he walked into the lounge the knocks become louder and more frequent. 

“I’m not interested in whatever you’re selling,” Dan said as he opened the door, the words dying in his throat as he realized it was Phil who stood at his door. “What’s wrong?”

Phil shifted on his feet, wringing his hands, resembling a deer in car headlights. “I know we agreed that I would tell Jessica we broke up, but she just cornered me in the stairs, and I panicked, and now we have to go to a party,” he said without pausing for breath.

Blinking sleep from his eyes, Dan pulled Phil into his apartment.

“Slow down,” he commands “tell me what happened.”

By the time Phil is done with his story, Dan has two cups of coffee ready, not prepared to start the day without the bitter substance.

“Okay,” Dan said, “So we’re going to a party.”

Phil lets out a shaky breath, relaxing slightly. “You’ll help me?”

“Sure,” Dan shrugged, “you’re my best friend.”

.

The party’s date arrives quickly, but Dan and Phil are prepared. They spent the better part of the week pretending they were a couple whenever they were out in public together. Ordering each other’s coffee, holding hands, even kisses on the cheek were familiar now. So familiar that sometimes they forgot that when they were alone in Dan’s apartment watching a movie Phil didn’t need to lay his head on Dan’s shoulder or that Dan didn’t need to kiss Phil on the cheek as he handed him his morning coffee. Or maybe they didn’t forget, they just didn’t care.

Dan knew that going to the party was probably a bad idea. It would be strobe lights and loud music and too many drunken people. But Phil is going, so Dan decided to make the most of it. As much as Dan hated to admit it, being in a ‘relationship’ with Phil was easy. They knew each other inside and out. He knew how Phil spilled his sugar all over the counter on the rare instances where Dan let him make his own coffee, and how he left all of the kitchen cabinets open after he left the room. Dan also knew the exact color of Phil’s eyes and the shape of his lips. He spent to much time studying those lips. This game was getting dangerously close to ending with Dan trying to kiss those perfect lips.

That was not the way you were supposed to feel about your best friend.

“Does this look okay?” Phil asked, stepping into Dan’s bedroom. Phil was dressed casual, in a red and blue plaid shirt with dark skinny jeans. The only thing that was different from how he usually dressed was the fact that he had on his black rimmed glasses instead of contacts.

“Yeah, you look cute in glasses,” Dan said, before biting his tongue. They were all alone, no need for cute couple things.

Phil blushed, “You don’t look so bad yourself.”

Dan knew that he had dressed up slightly more than he needed to strictly for the party, wearing his leather jacket and black skinny jeans when he could have gotten away with just a t-shirt. Stuffing his hands in his pockets, Dan glanced toward the door, “Are you ready to go?” he asked.

Phil shrugged, “As ready as I’ll ever be.”

.

Dan was right, the party was too loud and the lights were flashing and the air stank of cheap beer. But the warm feeling of Phil’s hand in his as Dan was pulled through the unfamiliar apartment, which almost mirrored his own due to the fact of being in the same building, made everything okay.

Finding their ways to the kitchen, Dan looked around for a drink, determined that since he had to be here anyway, he might as well get pleasantly buzzed. Phil had apparently been thinking similar because it didn’t take him long to find a tray of sweets, ready for a sugar rush.

Suddenly a brunette appeared at Phil’s side, and Dan forced himself not to groan out loud. How had Phil ever dated this chick?

“Hi, Phil,” Jessica chirped cheerfully, pointedly ignoring Dan.

Phil forced a smile onto his face, “Hi, Jess.”

Dan ground his teeth, not liking how close Jessica was leaning toward Phil, not liking it one bit. Snaking his arm around Phil’s waist, Dan pulled his friend closer. So close he could smell raspberry over the cigarette smoke and alcohol scent that hung in the air. So close he could feel Phil’s sharp intake of breath. So close Dan realized he wasn’t acting. He was jealous as hell of how close Jessica was standing to Phil.

“I’m so glad you guys came,” Jessica continued, obvious to the thoughts racing through Dan’s mind.

He was jealous. He had no right to be, he and Phil weren’t actually together. But he was.

Excusing himself from the conversation, Dan pushed himself out of the kitchen. The mass of bodies in the apartment was making it hard to breathe, so Dan pushed out of the door, stepping into the cool hair of the hallway. Sitting down, his back pressed against the wall, Dan forced himself not to hyperventilate. What would Phil say if Dan went back inside, feeling like this?

.

Phil watched Dan push his way out of the apartment. Alarm pulled his mouth into a frown, and Phil set the tray of sweets down on the kitchen counter.

“Is he okay?” Jessica asked, her voice dripping with false concern.

Ignoring her, Phil followed his friend through the crowd.

“Dan?” Phil called, stepping into the hallway. “Dan are you out here?” Dan glanced up from his spot on the hallway floor. Dropping next to him, their shoulders close enough that they were touching, Phil leaned against the wall. “Are you okay?” he whispered.

Dan shrugged, his shoulder rubbing against Phil’s, “I don’t think I can do this anymore,” he said, finally.

Phil forced himself not to feel bitter, it wasn’t fair to Dan. Dan had no idea how Phil actually felt and Dan thought they were acting and Phil liked fake dating more than he should and it wasn’t fair. He had been silent for too long, and Dan was staring, brown eyes shining.

“Okay,” Phil finally whispered, “you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.”

“That’s not the problem,” Dan said quietly, so quietly that Phil wasn’t quite sure that he was meant to hear.

Then Dan was leaning closer, their foreheads touching, and Phil couldn’t breathe because this was what he had wanted for so long. Dan’s breath was warm, tickling his face, and then their lips were meeting. It was sloppy and tasted a bit like beer and a bit like pastries and it was perfect. It was better than anything Phil had ever dreamed of.

Pulling back slightly, Phil looked into Dan’s eyes, “Was that for real?” he asked, not wanted to break the spell that had settled over the two of them.

Dan nodded, “That was real.”

Bending down, Phil captured Dan’s lips with his own, smiling as he pulled back again. Then Dan was grinning and they were laughing because why had it taken them so damn long to realize how perfect they were for each other? And maybe they didn’t know what this way yet, and maybe it didn’t matter. Becoming Dan Howell’s fake boyfriend was probably the best thing that could have ever happened to him, Phil decided.

So the leaving cert is coming up and this time last year I know i was absolutely buggin’ about it so here’s some tips from a survivor.

1. If you haven’t started studying, start today. It’s not too late. I’m not saying try to learn the course all in one night either. Learn in small chunks.

2. see that office chair that has a 6ft pile of clothes on it rn? CLEAR IT. use it to sit at your desk. Don’t be studying on your bed. (let’s not associate our heaven with stress)

3. Don’t just move those clothes to the bed either, cause you’re gonna need that thing to get a good nights sleep. Now i don’t mean you have to be in bed by eight or something. Just aim for before midnight or something. Get at least six hours. 

4. Create a schedule and let people know when you’re free or busy. Let’s face it, you’re gonna wanna go out with friends/bf/gf/partner. and by letting them know that you have work to do in advance can help them not feel like you’re pushing them away. (but do be careful, let yourself have some free time) 

5. You are going to be scared. That is normal for exams. I’m telling you right now that you’re not the only one. This is usually manifested by people saying “I’m so gonna fail i haven’t studied.” Try not to get too annoyed at them, try to remember that it’s exam season for them too. 

6. Don’t feel ashamed about what you’re choosing to do after sixth year. I’ve gone to do an arts degree and I know the minute I told some of my past teachers this they get that look of “oh an underachiever”. BUT FUCK ‘EM. I’m doing what i love and you should too. So whether it be something in a uni, a PLC or even if you don’t wanna continue in education, THAT’S OKAY. Better to be happy than end up with a degree you never wanted to begin with. 

7. It’s totally acceptable to spend an entire weekend in your pjs. You’ve worked hard all week. you deserve it. 

8. Wear cool socks. It just helps brighten up your day. 

9. Make a study playlist for the amount of time you plan to study and just study until it’s over. It feels way nicer than waiting for a timer to go off. Less pressure. 

10. ASK FOR HELP IF YOU NEED IT. You still have time to fix things. Everything will be okay. I promise.

aaaaaaaand that’s all i got for now. 

20/01/17 || How is it the 20th of January already? Is this year gonna go by as fast as 2016 has gone by? It seems like since my 18th birthday (which was nearly three years ago? Like what?) the time is going by so fast 😱. Anyway aside from my thoughts on the time, my exam is in exactly a week time and I’m kind of freaking out. I still have time to do everything and I’m on top of my schedule so I should be able to do everything on time but what if I don’t? It seems like today’s topic is time lol.

forever-seasons  asked:

I'm currently sitting the HSC and struggling to decide what I should do with my life. I know I wanna go to university but I don't know what course to do (and the fact that I have issues being judged on what I can and can't achieve). I also want to take a gap year but I'm currently unemployed and I feel that if I were to travel I'd freak out because of my anxiety, although I really wanna see the world. Do you have any suggestions about how to manage a gap year?

You have so so much time to figure out what you want to do with your life and what you want to do in general. I think it should be compulsory for people to do a gap year and head out into the world. i remember going straight to uni from school and on our first week we went around a circle to introduce ourselves and everyone had done a trade for 1 year or gone travelling, or had done another degree or worked for a year and i was like i’m fresh out of school, no life experience nothing…
If you don’t know what you want to do, have a year off!! have a year to try things new, go travel, work etc I learnt from my gap year that I can’t do 36hr weeks in retail hahah they are absolute torture and so boring!! haha so it made me think “shit I want a decent job so uni is definitely for me haha” (not saying you can’t get a decent job if you don’t go to uni) A gap year gives you time to think, gives you time to try new things. Go do a cooking class, go get a scuba license, take up running or painting or writing and see where those things lead you and how your brain responds to all these self initiated things :)

Suggestions:
- Get a job… Literally print off 1000 resumes/CVs and go hand them out! Cafes, Bars (not sure your age), retail shops and say I want a job, give me a job! haha and don’t give up until you get one!! and go hand them in in person, online applications suck and the people who work there see you as a picture not a person. 
- if you want to travel my suggestion would be work really hard for 4-5 months and travel for 5-6 months (or if you don’t want to go that long do a lot of small trips although it won’t be the same experience at all, it’ll feel like mini holidays instead of TRAVELLING and experiencing the world and living the experience) 
You say you have anxiety and I know it’s a mental health issue and I’m not trying to downgrade it but try and overcome it in a way (i know it can’t be beat but you know what i mean). I once saw a saying that said “You can never get rid of your fears, but you can learn to befriend them”… I am terrified of heights, my legs go jelly, i go pale and become a blubbering mess hahah yet I have sky dived and I have bungee jumped and I’ve hiked to the summit of volcano (3627m high) Why you ask? because life is about pushing yourself, overcoming challenges, pushing your comfort zone. I hate sharks cause I surf but did a shark cage dive (granted they weren’t great whites but those guys were still big!). I have a fear of ocean depths (thank you Harry Potter and the Goblet of fire!! those things that pull him back down into the water in the challenge in the lake scarred me for life hahah) but I went and got my scuba diving licence and saw a huge ass sting ray doing it and at the time I may have been shitting bricks (not literally guys haha) but man it was cool!! 
Do you see what I’m trying to say? I know anxiety isn’t a fear it’s a mental illness, but don’t you want to kick anxiety in the butt? and be like “hey mate! i’m in control! get out of here!!” or at least “hey mate! I know you are anxiety, and I appreciate your presence on this trip, but you will not take over the trip and if you try, I will smother you with a pillow” hahah 

Man that was a long tangent haha but I hope it sort of helped in a way?!!? :\

PS. is that merewether baths in the profile pic? a fellow novocastrian haha wooooo :) (if it isn’t this is just awkward now so ignore my woooo haha)


anonymous asked:

Another crush thing... So basically I'm at uni with this guy, and we have a few mutual friends and I've always really liked him and recently he's been asking me to come out with him on group hangouts but I turn up and like it's only the two of us there. So obviously I've been really confused about it because we've been messaging as well and he's gone from sending no kisses to sending four. So I don't know what to do really, I don't know if I should tell him how I feel or wait for him to tell me

for me personally i would wait bc im super shy and i cant confess my feelings but if you feel like youre ready and he feels the same then why not?? but if you wanna play it safe just flirt back hecka and wait for him to say something. if its gone on for like way too long then you should say something. AH THATS SO CUTE THO


i’m answering these asks on my younow! ask a question

HOGWARTS AU (part one of???)


Okay Listen I know I said I was going to post something in this LAST NIGHT but I am complete garbage and spent my off day journaling instead of actually writing. I’m still working on chapter one of Werewolf Dex (Title TBA), and because I said I’d publish yesterday I’ll do my damnedest to get that up tonight. However, IN THE MEANTIME, I present to you these thoughts on House alignments and ages of our boys. 

Sorry…excuse me….Haus alignments.

Under the cut because this is getting long and starting to include ramblings on the background of the AU. This is something. @itsybittle​ I am so sorry and you so did not ask for this but your headcanon post will not leave me alone and it got me started on Actually Writing this au that my dear friend @actualhockeyrobot​ and I have been talking about since like, April, so it only felt right to tag you both in the MESS that is to follow. Without further ado….

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I’m on my way to Melbourne (I need to just freaking move here seriously) and I know that in an hour and a half I’ll know my mark for my proposal. She said that she’d send me the letter grade, they’re not allowed to tell us the number, but she hasn’t. She’s probably just forgotten but my mind has gone to it was a piece of rubbish and she hated it and I’ve failed … what if it was absolutely awful and I’ve failed? Like it’s worth 15% of my year. I know I’m most likely catastrophising but it just means so much. Plus I’ve been up for 6 hours and I’m freaking exhausted😴

Update, she just sent me a message with my mark 🤦🏽‍♀️ kinda not happy with it but meh I’m a perfectionist what are you gonna do!
every eye trained on a different star - an mmfd fanfic #12

A million years ago the gorgeous @slitherouter began a piece where Rae is a Mod and Finn is a punk, based on a discussion she had with @teastaindiary. (The link is attached to @slitherouter‘s post) 

I beta’d the first two thousand words and she told me the long and lovely story of what would happen next, which included them having a one night stand. She mentioned that she wasn’t sure if she’d finish the idea because she had so many other things in the ‘to-be-written’ pile. I was looking for something to write and she suggested I take a crack at it. Those first two thousand words were pretty intimidating so I ignored it for the longest time. Much later, it became one of those practice pieces I’ve talked about before and it’s been in a constant state of flux ever since.

I suppose by me posting it, you might think that I think it’s finished. It isn’t. It will never be finished. Every time I open the file, I change something about it - there are a ridiculous number of versions of this on my hard drive - but I’m coming to the point where I just have to let it go.

I asked Shiri if it was okay for me to share it and we came up with the interesting idea to post the two separate pieces concurrently. Just for shits and giggles.

You should read Are you a mod or a rocker? first because a) it’s by @slitherouter and therefore obviously fantastic, and b) it explains where this is coming from. This is not a strict continuation, more an alternative scene. I’ve borrowed the characters as she’s painted them for an AU of her AU where they have sex. I’m hopeful that at some point, she’ll continue the story she started here because from what she’s told me, that story is amazing!

Fair warning, this isn’t my usual fare. It’s an AU for starters and it’s a lot longer than normal. It’s not all that angsty either. There are some attempts at humour and it even has, dare I say, a happyish ending. I know! I don’t know how it happened either. Just go with it.

My love and thanks of course to @slitherouter for graciously allowing me to play in her sandbox and to @how-ardently, who has always been enthusiastic about the words and kindly read and re-read this beast in almost all it’s incarnations. Above and beyond, is the term, I believe.

The title comes from the Snow Patrol song Call Out in the Dark.

These lovely people have asked to be tagged @mydiaryofemus @emu4ever @myfinnnelsonpls @inneedofamoralcompass @crystalgiddings1993 @nutinanutshell

Enough of my bullshit. Here’s some more of my bullshit.

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Hi guys!! Since I am about to start my second year of college I thought it would be cool to compilate some tips, tricks and just stuff that I have learned during this past year as a freshman and hopefully some of you will find it helpful! 

This will be divided on 2 (or maybe even more) parts so make sure to follow me and stay tuned lol this part is focused on the uni “lyfestyle” but I will soon do something more focused on the academic side. 

  1. An umbrella is always useful
  2. WATER!!
  3. Managing money
  4. People can be idiots
  5. Food (and life) is expensive af
  6. Clubs are the best
  7. Get advantage of what you pay for
  8. Breakfast is so important
  9. High school should stay in the past
  10. Group chats are actually so great tbh (but also incredibly annoying)

You can read more about each after the cut! 

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So I don’t wanna jinx it because I’ve not had dinner yet but today has gone really well, I avoided all temptation, I’m back on green tea, I’ve been productive with uni work and also finally got off my ass and did some chores around the house, as well as tidy my room! I’m currently on 485 calories and I’m going to make Cauliflower and Chickpea curry for dinner which hopefully should only be about 295cals depending on whether I finish a serving, and I might have space for a strawberry yogurt afterwards to satisfy any sweet craving I have! I’ll post a proper food diary later x

anonymous asked:

omg, that's the best feel ever, when a non exol is simply admiting that kd are in love without knowing them. That proves that you should be BLIND at some point to not seeing it !

Hey anon,

Yeah! The part where she said ‘I don’t stare at you like that’ crack me up hahahahaha.

It’s just common sense. Everyone would have gone through a situation where you encountered two completely strangers to you that was interacting with each other and you know that they at least have mutual feelings.

You just need to sit down and observe. I spend most of my times in uni but I don’t know everyone by heart. I’ve seen their faces. It wasn’t that hard for me to know who’s dating who, who likes who. All of us are humans. If you like someone or dating someone, how would you act around them? We response to certain situations almost similarly. When I see them acting certain ways, I would know what does that imply bcoz it matches with how I would act as well. Then, I’ve seen that behaviour in the same situation a lot of times. So it adds up. Like I’ve said, common sense.

But then some ppl are blind dun dun dun hehehe

Take care~

Soooo.

Firstly I owe everyone a MAJOR apology. I have been gone for far too long, and that wasn’t fair. Thankfully I only have just over a month left at uni, so I am hoping that I should be able to write a lot more prompts and become more active after that.

Thank you to everybody for your patience and HOW DID WE GET TO OVER 9000 WATCHERS?! XD I love you all :) 

I’m going to put it down to one prompt per day, just until I get back from uni and get a good buffer behind me. Thank you to everybody who submitted as well, those will be coming up on the blog soon hopefully.

Thanks again to everybody for your patience, I’m really sorry about this.