You’re at the newest Captain America movie, sitting middle of the aisles, towards the back, getting the most out of your viewing pleasure. You have a big old tub of popcorn sitting on your lap, box of Hot Tamales stuck between your thighs. You’re ready to get your movie on!
But then this giant of a man sits right in front of you. The nerve of some people, blocking the view of normal people! Right can’t he sit in the back?
You throw a piece of popcorn at him to get his attention and whisper yell “Hey, Jolly Green, how ‘bout you find a different seat?”
Jolly turns around at that and you about jolly right in your panties. He gives you this stern go-fuck-yourself look but you see the way his eyes slide down to check you out. You must make some sort of noise…though honestly, how you didn’t moan out loud is beyond you…because before he turns around you catch the smirk those sinful lips pull into.
You gather your courage, lick you lips, and lean forward to whisper in his ear, “If you’d rather, there’s a seat open next to me.”
He doesn’t even say anything, just stands up, uses those stupidly long legs to step right over the seats, and plops down next to you. He turns to give you a full smile…sweet Jesus, you’re pretty sure you whimpered at that…slides his arm behind you and says, “Sweetheart, you don’t know it yet, but this impromptu date’s gonna be the best night of your life.”
You don’t remember much of the movie but goddamn he wasn’t kidding.
His best guess? It’s because Dean is the Righteous Man. All of Heaven conspired to construct his conception. Every angel
knew when he was born. Every one of them sought to rescue him from Hell. He would never allow Cas to say it, but Dean was a holy man.
It had been ordained.
So in hindsight, it really shouldn’t have been so surprising
to him. Cas had always been aware of the luminescence of Dean’s soul. It was
pure, bright, like how he imagined God Himself to be. But he had never met God.
He had only met Dean Winchester.
He hadn’t noticed the warmth Dean’s soul radiated until his
grace was diminished. For that reason, he believed its strength escaped most
angels. After all, in raw power, a human soul far outstrips angelic grace. But the
soul is meant to be self-contained, while grace is a mobile entity, able to be
shaped and pulled by the angel’s will.
Dean’s soul seems to defy the rules of its Creation.
He realizes this in the most innocuous way. He’s sitting
beside Dean. In the car, one of the most un-angelic places he knows. Yet it is
a place that glows with Dean’s whole presence, even when he is not there. Sam
knows this well.
Cas is sitting there, Dean beside him, and he realizes that
the ache of his stolen grace, burning slowly away, has lessened. At first he
sighs, thankful for the absence of pain. He relaxes, and can’t remember when he
last felt this at ease.
He notices the feeling again when he is standing beside Dean’s
bed that night. Slowly, scientifically, he comes to realize that Dean’s soul is
reaching him. Healing him.
After all, a Holy soul that radiates as pure an energy as
Dean’s…. That’s as close to angel medicine as anything can be.
He finds himself giving more and more excuses to stay close
to Dean. It’s not that he’s using him though. He obviously enjoys Dean’s
company. And he dares to hope Dean feels the same.
And, with increased contact, they uncover new aspects of
their own selves. Dean admits one day that he enjoys having Cas around. Cas
replies that he does not want to imagine his life without Dean, that Heaven is
no longer where the angels live. It’s wherever Dean is. Dean blushes.
One day, Dean notices that Cas is looking healthier. Cas explains,
somewhat ruefully, that somehow, just being around Dean is actually restoring
him. They both look away when he admits this.
And, well. It progresses. Just being around Dean could
sustain Castiel until the end of their lives. But kissing him gives Cas a
warmth that he’s sure is not just his emotions. The closeness they enjoy, the
sharing of love and secrets between their bodies….
Castiel’s diminished grace will never be a problem again.