should i say something to my parents

anonymous asked:

I want to come out to my parents that I'm pansexual and genderfluid and I'm dating my trans best friend. Do you or the dark!boys have any idea how I should do it?

I would suggest just talking, obviously, but tell them you have something important to tell them and that what you’re going to say means a lot to you. 
It’s better to just say it forward. 
I had a friend who danced around it for a while, until I sat with her and her family (I was moral support I wasn’t part of the discussion) to speak about it. 
Don’t be nervous about it. They will love you for who you are. 

Dark nodded, “Though I twist my words to appeal to many, I have found that blunt honesty can get you the same result sometimes. Do not worry, you’re parents will be respectable.” 

Wilford beamed over at you, “It’s courageous you’re taking the steps to doing this. I’m proud of you for taking this leap!” 

Anti and Natemare bring balloons and a streamers, “We’re so proud of you!! You’ll be awesome!”

“If there was anyone who cared about me, God already killed them. My mother died when I was eleven. She had heart problems because of all the drugs. These two tears are for her. I can’t even remember her face. I remember going to her funeral but I don’t remember her face. When I dream about her, all I hear is her voice. There’s no dialogue or anything. It’s just her voice, saying: ‘Come here, Jeff. Come here, Jeff.’ After she died, all that mattered was surviving. Nobody showed me love. Maybe things would have been different if I had parents. Maybe I’d have a place to live. Maybe I’d have accomplished something. So I don’t feel guilty for anything. Why should I? God doesn’t feel guilty for killing my mom.” (2/2)

(Rio de Janeiro, Brazil)

Still Alive

I’m sure many of you are wondering where I’ve been these past few months. I’m afraid there isn’t an easy answer to that. Not one I can explain easily. My health has worsened once again. I’ve had to deal with kidney stone surgery and stomach issues along with a deepening depression and an increase of severity of my chronic fatigue. It has been a struggle to get through every day and I guess tumblr just didn’t seem like it mattered much anymore.

I lost touch with close friends and I stopped talking to my parents very much. I went into a shell and honestly I’m still not sure how to get out of it. I’m having a brief moment of clarity so I thought I should say something because I think some people might be a little worried about me.

Right now I am resting comfortably and keeping myself occupied with cartoons and other various shows. I try my best not to think about my predicament because as of yet, a solution has not presented itself. I’ve tried all of the depression medications. I’ve looked into new treatments. I just haven’t found anything that has any promise. For the time being I an stuck like this.
I probably won’t be around much. It’s really hard to even write this. But I’ll try to write a little more frequently if I can.

As it stands, right now I am focused on getting rid of my last kidney stone. Apparently there is a procedure that blasts it with sound waves and breaks it up into tiny particles. They put you under for that, but you get to go home the same day. I will be doing this in the next week or so. Hopefully it will make me feel a little better, but I can’t say for sure.

Chris and I are still putting out the monthly Patreon comics. I hope you still enjoy them.

I am going to get back to resting and trying to occupy my mind. I hope you all are well and I appreciate you always sticking with me, even if I disappear for a while.

The Importance of Moana and Mulan

1. Strong female POC leads!!!!

2. Everything below

I’ll start off with the 90′s Disney film. You know what my favorite thing about Mulan is? In the beginning, she’s lamenting about never being able to follow the path her parents wish for her and make them proud (there’s literally an entire song about this):

Originally posted by pactressia

And I remember me, a little Chinese girl, watching that film knowing that pressure all too well (I’m sure that many other people from many other cultures can also relate). Please don’t call me out on generalization but if there’s one thing I’ve noticed about Chinese customs/traditions/etc. is that there’s this alarmingly toxic idea that if you don’t make your parents proud then you’re essentially a failure, that if you don’t bring honor to your family then everything you’ve done is worthless.

Now, Moana deals with this idea in a different way. It’s discussed in the form of a girl who longs for something forbidden when she should be learning how to properly lead her village like her father and all of her ancestors before him. She also has an entire song about her obligations and rebellious wishes and how she just has to stamp them down (which Auli’i sings beautifully):

Originally posted by dailyauliicravalho

Older me watching this saw some serious Mulan parallels. I also really appreciated the film as a whole, but I explain all of that later on. The two of them try. They try their best to be the perfect daughter that their parents want:

Originally posted by jimhawkens-moved

Originally posted by babs-e

It was obvious that they both care and love their families enough to make the effort, but it’s also very obvious that their hearts just weren’t in it enough:

Originally posted by salmonypink

Originally posted by smallpurplefork

It’s like dreaming of becoming an award-winning actress but forcing yourself to drop the idea in favor of going for something “practical”, then spending the rest of your life behind a desk miserable and filled with regret. That sounds dramatic, I know, but nobody really knows how many lives we have, so you should treat it like you only have one chance. Anyways, through the course of the film, Moana and Mulan move aside from that filled-with-regret route and both defy what everyone’s telling them to do and go off to have some pretty wild adventures:

Originally posted by eilizabeth-olsen

Originally posted by disneyasastrology

Moana finally does pursue that forbidden dream of hers by setting out to sea and essentially saving her known world, whereas Mulan puts all of her frowned upon, “unladylike” martial arts to use by saving China. Moana gets to lead her people to a brighter future and Mulan gets to see her parents filled with pure pride.

Making yourself proud and feeling personally accomplished is more important than trying to match up with other peoples’ standards. Spending your entire life trying to satisfy other people doesn’t sound very great, or fulfilling, or pleasant. Of course to some degree that’s needed, especially in the workplace or at school, but you shouldn’t plan your entire future on it. Growing up I always assumed that when my parents finally said “I’m proud of you” with every fiber of their being then I had done it. I had done everything I was supposed to, and now I should feel happy. But somewhere at the end of middle school when I was being suffocated with high expectations and being asked to plan for classes I wouldn’t be taking until I was seventeen, I realized that isn’t the case. They can say they’re proud and be happy but I won’t be. I kept this thought around until I did something completely out of the ordinary, something that wasn’t in their plan, and although it made things a little rough between us, the result of it was terribly shocking to me.

They said it. They said “I’m proud of you” in a way that I had never heard before, and hearing it like that during this particular event was like something out of a dream.

And this is the point I was trying to use Moana and Mulan to get across. You can make your parents/family proud in ways other than those that they have set for you. You can make them proud without following the exact road they’ve directed you to.

Originally posted by kittycheshirestuff

Originally posted by yourdisneyside

And if they’re still not proud after all of your bravery and hard work, then screw them.

The 4th Episode: A Complete Johnlock Fix-It

The screen is black.  A woman’s voice cuts through.  It’s Molly’s voice.

“Forward? Or Backward?”

A blinding white light floods the darkness.  A pulsating heartbeat. 

“Backward,” sighs Sherlock.

White noise stings as scenes are replayed backward. Sherlock and John running backward.  John’s fist recoiling from Sherlock in the morgue.  The christening, backward. The birth, backward.  The plane glides into the air, tail first. Magnussen’s limp body jolts into standing position, Sherlock puts the gun back in John’s pocket. The flashdrive jumps from the fire, into John’s hand.  The gun drops, the coin falls back into Mary’s fingers. Sherlock raises from Magnussen’s floor, the blood-stained shirt turns freshly white. Mary stands across from Sherlock, gun drawn.

Roll Title Credits.

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anonymous asked:

I have a headcanon that Kara is Autistic (I am irl) and Alex is real sweet and protective of her. Maybe high school au?

The glasses help.

The glasses help because they dull the overstimulation.

They help, but Rao, they don’t help everything.

Sometimes, they make things worse.

Because her hands are noisy, and her fingers need the solid feel of the rims underneath their tips. 

So she adjusts them constantly – adjusts them when someone expects her to look at them, adjusts them when she jumps when someone touches her, adjusts them when she doesn’t know what to say, because she has her own codes, but it doesn’t seem to match the others’ – and when she adjusts them, people laugh.

They act like she can’t hear. They act like she can’t see.

They act like she doesn’t understand.

But she’s heard her planet scream and she’s seen her planet die and she understands more than any of them ever will.

And she hears them, and she sees them.

And she understands that their hatred exists.

She just doesn’t understand why.

Alex punches them, sometimes. 

She punches them when they don’t lay off. When they surround Kara at her locker and make a game of seeing who can get her to stim with her glasses more fiercely.

But they don’t call it stimming.

Because they think she’s the one that doesn’t understand, but really, it’s them that don’t understand… anything.

So Alex punches them, when her words aren’t big enough.

Alex’s hands talk, just like Kara’s do.

And sometimes, they shout.

Just like Kara’s do.

And when Alex is hauled into the principal’s office, it’s Maggie who slips up beside her.

It’s Maggie who looks at her without expecting, without demanding, a direct look back. Maggie who speaks softly because she knows everything else is so loud.

“Hey Kid Danvers. Do you feel like a soft hug? Or maybe something to squeeze?”

Kara grins.

“Why do you ask me?” she wants to know, and she adjusts her glasses and this time, with Maggie at her side, waiting for her big sister to get out of the principal’s office, it feels good, not weird. Relieving, not stupid.

“Because everyone deserves to control how they interact with the world, kid.”

Kara glances at her and shifts so she’s leaning into Maggie’s arms.

The pressure is soft and the pressure is constant, and the pressure is so, so welcome.

Maggie doesn’t move, and Maggie doesn’t speak, because the touch is more than enough stimulation for Kara.

They wait together, in the abandoned, after-school halls, for Alex to emerge.

Kara flinches when she hears Alex yell inside the office.

“No, I don’t care! They were hurting her, they were taunting her, they deserved it! I don’t care if you call my parents, because you know what my mom tells me to do? Protect my little sister. And you all clearly aren’t interested in doing that, so someone has to! And that’s going to be me, forever.”

She comes out of the office twenty minutes later with a lopsided grin on her face. 

“You should have heard Jeremiah going off on the old man. Something about punishing his daughter instead of the boys who were being mean to you. It was great. I never knew Dad could get scary like that. It was awesome.”

Kara smiles and says nothing, and Alex sighs and lets the adrenaline rush out of her body slightly.

“Hey, looks like you’re pretty comfy there with Maggie.”

“Your girlfriend’s nice to me,” Kara offers by way of explanation, and Alex blushes hard while Maggie beams.

“Anything for a Danvers girl,” Maggie grins, and Kara curls in on herself proudly and Alex preens.

“Ice cream?” Alex invites them both, and she’s not sure who squeals louder, her sister or her girlfriend.

She just knows it’s the best feeling in the world.

I have been a babysitter in a Christian community for over ten years now. Before I say what I’m about to, just know that I love all the families I babysit for and have nothing against Christianity. I actually have my BA in Religion, so I totally understand the pitfalls and high points. 

Over the years, I have seen some pretty terrible things that parents tell their children to protect them from the outside world. I get that parents should do that, but when you start hurting your child’s emotional state because you think your religion says that these things are wrong, something needs to be said. 

There’s this little girl who loves to draw and talk about horses. As an artist, I would always teach her to draw horses when I came by and that would be our thing. With the new Pokemon Go game becoming so popular, I didn’t think anything of it when she asked to see my horse Pokemon. Her mother ripped my phone from that little girl’s hands so fast I thought I was about to have a broken phone. She told me that her daughter cannot play that game because it has monsters and monsters are Satanic. 

Another family who have four kids, three girls and a boy, are a little more relaxed than the previous family. However, I noticed that the oldest girl acts very different, like she’s uncomfortable when I say her name. She told me that she wants to be called Edward, so I started calling her by the name she wanted. She likes to play as Ken, the Prince, the Dad. Her younger siblings started calling her Edward too and she became so happy and relaxed. When the parents came home, everyone was told to stop calling her that. 

This last family, also has four kiddos who greet me with smiling faces and big hugs every time. The problem is that this family is much like the first. They tell their kids certain things are demonic, and these kids are ages 4-10. I’ve been gasped at for things like saying I do yoga, drawing a peace sign, or letting the four year old boy play barbies with us. 

I see first hand what this kind of brainwashing does to children. Yes, brainwashing. Kids don’t have a sense of gender until you teach it. They don’t have a sense of “evil” or “demons” until you teach it. That first girl refuses to draw horses now, afraid that she will get in trouble if she gives it a fire mane and tail. Edward is going to hide how she really feels from her parents which will eventually tear that bond. And the last four kids will be confused as they grow up and see that these things are not demonic and have nothing to do with right or wrong. 

This isn’t fair and I can’t do anything about it.

Originally posted by nuooage

You Should Have Known (Smut)

Request: “smut. smut. smut. love em. (😂) maybe something with needy!Shawn, coming back from tour (like a really long time) and you meet him at his parents house, and the boy just wants to fuck you there, but you say that you can’t bc hey “we’re at your parents house Shawn!” but the lil pervert is so damn needy and he ended up fucking u in his teenage bedroom (a lot of doggy style pls, thanks!)❤” 

“and with the needy!Shawn request : thigh riding please!!! thank you so much!”

Oookay I had to put my own spin on this, mostly because these types of fics have been done before, but I hope you still like it. 

So uh, enjoy the ride.

The anticipation kills you as you make the final turns on the way to Shawn’s parent’s house. Aaliyah wanted to see him when he got back to Toronto and to be honest you weren’t going to argue with her. You figured once you guys were finished with dinner, you and Shawn would head home and catch up. Lots and lots of catch up. 

You think you’d be used to this by now, the extended periods of time away from each other, but you’re not. And while phone calls and FaceTime make things manageable, there was always that one element that was missing. Him

The giddiness inside you sparks up as you pull into the driveway. Finally. You take one final look at yourself in the rearview mirror before making your way out of the Jeep. You’re not even halfway up the yard when the front door swings open and you’re greeted by the sight of your boyfriend rushing towards you. Without missing a beat his lips find their way to yours as he wraps his arms around your waist and pulls you into him. The familiar feeling of home washes over you as you stand there wrapped in each other. Eventually, you break the kiss and pull away to a dopey smile on his face and he takes in the sight of you.

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Disposable pt 15

Being friends with benefits with Min Yoongi can be complicated (at best) by itself. But when you accidentally tell your family (and his boss) that the two of you are dating, things get messy. It only complicates things more when you blackmail Yoongi into pretending to date you, and neither of you can quite keep your feelings separate, no matter how much you try.

Angst, fluff, slight smut at times.

Yoongi x Reader

Part 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14

Once you got a grip of yourself, you made your way back outside to the party. You avoided Yoongi for the rest of the night, busying yourself talking to anyone but him. Part of you wanted to demand to know why he always had to hurt you, and what you had ever done to deserve it. Another part of you wanted to crawl under the covers of your bed and cry while eating ice cream. Neither were options at the moment, so you settled for evasion. Not that Yoongi was making that very easy, he kept trying to talk to you. He would catch your elbow and ask if he could have a minute, and you would blow him off every time.

“I’m busy.” You said for what had to be the tenth time that night.

“You’re really not, this time. Please, can you just tell me what’s going on with you?” Yoongi pleaded. His eyes looked genuine, and you realized that all the smiles and laughter from the previous day must have been all a show—maybe so it would all hurt that much more when it was over. You guessed you should have known, from the day you first met Namjoon for lunch you had seen that Yoongi was a good actor. In the back of your mind, a little voice was saying that it was your fault for blackmailing him in the first place, because who wouldn’t want revenge in some way after that?

“Nothing is ‘going on’ with me. Don’t you have someone else you can bother?”

Yoongi’s eyes flashed with hurt, and he dropped the hand that was holding your arm. “I don’t get it, what did I do?”

You let out a sigh of frustration. “I said we would talk later.”

You could see the beginnings of annoyance on Yoongi’s face, which just furthered your own. He was the one who was always going out of his way to hurt you, but you don’t want to talk to him for once and he gets his feelings hurt? It wasn’t fair, none of it was, and you realized you didn’t even have anyone to talk to about it. The only person who knew your whole situation with Yoongi was Jackson, and he had left abruptly several hours earlier. He said something about getting an urgent phone call and ran off before you ever got a chance to talk to him.

Taehyung was waving to you, and you walked over to where he sat slightly reluctantly. He was holding his cat, the one he twisted his ankle rescuing, kissing its head before looking back at you. “What’d he do?” He asked. You weren’t particularly happy with Taehyung at the moment either, as long as he had known you (and your mother) you felt like he should have known better than to repeat what Yoongi said to your mother, but you knew that it must have been an accident. Your mother was good at getting exactly whatever information she wanted out of someone, and if Taehyung hadn’t given it to her, someone else would have eventually.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You said tersely. Taehyung rolled his eyes at you, scratching behind the cat’s ears.

“You look like you want to punch Yoongi every time you look at him.”

“You know what, Taehyung? Our relationship really isn’t any of your business. In fact, it isn’t any of anyone’s business, so I don’t know why everyone has to know everything about it all of the time.”

“You’re mad at Yoongi, not me, remember?” Taehyung raised his eyebrows.

“No, I’m mad at everyone who seems to think they have some right to know everything about my life. I shouldn’t have to justify everything I do to everyone I know.” Maybe some of your anger was misplaced, but you couldn’t be bothered to care at the moment. You turned on your heals and walked away from where a completely bewildered Taehyung sat. You didn’t bother to talk to anyone you passed by, ignoring their attempts to gain your attention. You passed Jungkook walking up the stairs to go inside, and he caught your eye for a moment.

“Are you okay?”

“I wish people would stop fucking asking me that.” You snapped as you walked passed him.

The bedroom door clicked behind Yoongi, but he didn’t move further into the room. The party had finally ended, and you still weren’t talking to him. He had decided that maybe he should just let you have your space, but you still had to share a room.

You were on your phone when he walked in, and looked up briefly to scoff and roll your eyes before turning your eyes back to the screen.

“Look, if I did something, you have to talk to me. Just being angry isn’t going to fix anything.” He said, trying to contain his own annoyance. You were being a child, and he really didn’t have the patience for it right then.

“Right, like that would do any good. You just want to hear how miserable I am. You’re a fucking sadist.”

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Kitten - H.S.

Originally posted by confusedharrie

Intimidate (inˈtiməˌdāt/verb): frighten or overawe (someone), especially in order to make them do what one wants.

She was intimidated by him, but then again so was everyone else. She had seen him before, at the bar her friend dragged her too. He always had his hand wrapped around a drink or someone’s neck. He was tall, so very tall, it made her want to hide away in a corner. He was well built, his shirt always showing off his biceps, his tattoo covered arms she would always stare at. From afar she couldn’t see them all, but he favorite had been the rose. It was faded, telling her it was one of his older ones, but she liked it because it simply didn’t suit him. He didn’t seem to be a man that would openly support a rose tattoo. His face was always emotionless, his green eyes, his beautiful green eyes, were always so cold and hard. She swore if looks could kill everyone would probably be dead. His brown hair was always pushed up or hidden under a hat, she loved admiring him. His nose was slightly just a little big for his face but she thought it was cute, and his pink full lips just always seemed so soft to her.

She had heard about him. Harry Styles. He worked at this bar sometimes, she would come in for cheesy fries or wings, this bar was where she gained her freshman fifteen. But besides the food he was nice to look at. Almost every girl on her floor gossiped about him. Harry had apparently hooked up with a girl on her campus, the girl had a boyfriend. The boyfriend tried to fight Harry and ended up in the hospital, he was too scared to press charges. She had heard so many rumors about the man, yet she was still curious. She was intrigued.

She didn’t know it, but he watched her too. He watched her every weekend when she came in with her friends. He watched how she always nervously tucked at the end of her tight dress, trying to pull it lower so it would cover her lower half. He watched as she would have guys come up to her, only for her to turn them down and her friend would scowl her. He enjoyed watching her. He loved when her wide doe eyes would widen even more, if it were even possible, as her friends would gossip. He loved how her grey eyes were a perfect color, not too dark not too light, it fit her olive colored skin. He loved the small dimple that would appear on her cheek when she smiled at anyone. Harry had been intrigued from the moment she first walked in the bar. Her nose scrunched up in disgust of the smell, but she pulled through and followed her friends. He was mostly shocked by the length of her hair, the long brown waves seemed to flow down her back, he had never seen anyone with such long hair.

Harry stood by the bar, leaning against it. His back to a guy that was currently hitting on her, he could very clearly here the conversation. His body stiffened and fingers gripped around his empty cup, lips pressed in a thin line.

“You look lovely,” the man told her.

She giggled, and Harry felt something in his stomach. Something he’s never felt before, it was nice and disgusting at the same time. Her giggle was soft and it sounded like summer.

“Thank you,” she responded, her voice was warm and smooth, it made Harry’s grip on his cup loosen.

“Can I buy you a drink?” he asked.

“I’m all set thank you,” she smiled, holding up her glass that contained water.

“Well can I at least get your name?” the man asked her, smiling back at her.

She bites her lower lip, shaking her head, “you seem very nice but I’m not looking for anything,” she tells him, “just having a nice night out with my girls.”

“Your girls seemed to have left you all alone,” the man stated, which was true. The group she had came in with found themselves slightly drunk and talking to a group of college guys.

She shrugs, “still doesn’t mean I came here to see you,” she stated.

Harry peeked over his shoulder, she was smiling at the blonde man. Her cheeks were pink and smile bright, her eyes matching it. He had never seen such a beautiful smile, it just seemed so perfect. He swears that the dark lit bar lit up just slightly.

“You’re funny,” the man chuckled, “I’m Cam.”

“I’m Ella,” she says, “but that’s all you’re getting out of me.”

“We’ll see,” Cam laughed, “now how about another drink? You seem to be running low.”

“What can I get you Harry?” the bartender asked, her blonde hair pulled into a messy ponytail, “the usual?”

“Harry,” Ella whispered to herself.

Harry heard it, he loved it. Though it was barely audible he heard it clearly as if she was whispering it in his ear. There was nothing Harry wanted more than having the girl laying beneath him repeating that name, in a breathless whisper.

“Whisky,” Harry says, sliding her the empty glass. He took this chance to turn to Ella, flashing her his smile that seemed to work on just about any girl, “you called kitten?”

He watched as the heat rose to Ella’s cheeks, the olive skin turning a light shade of pink. Her grey eyes dropping to her now empty glass in embarrassment, “sorry, you just don’t look like a Harry,” she says.

“What do I look like then?” Harry asked, raising an eyebrow.

She presses her lips together, thinking as she examines his features, “Don’t know,” she admits, even more embarrassed, “just something stronger would fit you, Harry makes me think of an old man.”

Harry chuckled, “Cam isn’t an old man name,” Cam chirped in.

“Can I buy you a drink kitten?” Harry smiled at Ella.

“A strawberry lemonade vodka,” Ella says.

Cam frowns, “thought you weren’t thirsty,” he says.

Ella smiled softly, touching his arm gently, “you’re really nice,” she says, she shifts in her seat sitting down her empty cup and pointing to the blonde girl standing by the pool table, “she’s been eyeing you all night. Why don’t you take a drink over to her?”

Cam rolled his eyes but made his way over, “was she really?” Harry asked, sitting down as the bartender brought over their drinks.

“Hopefully,” she laughs, grabbing the drink and sipping it, “I’m Ella.”

“I know,” Harry says.

“Where you eaves dropping?” she giggled, her eye brow raised at him.

“Maybe,” Harry says.

She rolled her eyes in a teasing matter, “you’re a little nosey aren’t you?” she teased.

“You’re hurting me here Ella, accusing me of doing things and making fun of name,” Harry says, placing a hand over his heart, “you’re hurting me right here.”

Ella wraps her hands over his wrist, her hands were soft and warm, just like her heart. She slides his hand over, “your heart is right there,” she says.

Harry drops his hand, “what are you a doctor?”

Ella grins shaking her head as she brings her drink towards her, her red tinted lips wrapping around the black thin straw that’s used for stirring, “actually I’m a soon to be doctor, graduating in two years,” she informs him.

“It’s a good thing you know where the heart is then,” Harry says.


Harry’s friends looked on, annoyed. Their chances for free drinks now sat at the bar with Ella. The two kept talking. Ella explaining how she wanted to become a doctor until she got finically stable and then head to Africa where she could help those who needed her. She talked about how much she loved the world and everyone and Harry was amazed. He didn’t get it, truly he tried but didn’t. He couldn’t wrap his head around how warm and lovely this woman was. She was so passionate and hopeful about loving other.

“If you could go anywhere in the world where would you go?” Ella asked, a slurping noise coming from her cup as she had just finished her forth drink. Her head spun a little and she was slightly drunk, but not dance on the table and puke drunk. It was the perfect amount of drunk, she had just enough confidence to talk to him, but not enough alcohol to feel sleepy.

“Greece,” Harry says, “what about you?”

The sat in the corner booth now. The lights at the counter bugged Ella and the booth seemed to be slightly darker. She sat across from him, hands in her palm as she watched him. He was admiring her, her wide eyes bright and seem to gleam, her nose sniffling every once and a while.

“Australia, ever since H2o, I am convinced they have mermaids,” she says, her cheeks pink, “did that hurt?” she asked, pointing to the ring on Harry’s eyebrows.

His hand reached up to touch it, “not at all,” he shrugged. It was a lie, it hurt like a bitch and it had gotten infected. Harry hated it but he was not going to admit that to her.

“I got this done,” she says, moving the hair away from her right ear to reveal a cartilage piercing, “it hurt so much. I cried, and then I got it on the side I sleep on and so for two months I couldn’t sleep properly, and then it got infected. It was all hot and itchy, I promised to never get another piercing again.”

She rambled her words coming out slightly slower as she had a lot to drink. Harry chuckled, “what about your tattoos?” she says, letting her hair fall again to cover the piercing.

“You can’t tell anyone,” Harry says and she nods, smiling and leaning closer, “this first couple did, but the rest didn’t. After a while it started feeling good.”

“My parents would kill me,” Ella pouted, and Harry could have sworn it was the cutest thing in the world, “but if I could get something I would get a serotonin molecule.”

Harry laughed, “but my parents wouldn’t let me, and I really wanted it,” she keeps talking, “it’s so sad. They’re so mean I should be able to.”

“You should,” Harry agreed.

“Are you parents relaxed?”

“Doesn’t matter I’m an adult,” Harry says.

She nods, “my feet hurt,” she frowns, kicking up her legs next to her, Harry watches her struggle to pull off her black heels. She tosses them on the table, “shoes are dumb.”

Harry stifles a laugh, “floors dirty kitten,” he says.

“You’re dirty,” she struggles to form a comeback in her drunken state and Harry laughs, “sorry that was mean.”

“It’s okay.”

“You’re cute,” Ella tells him.

Harry smiled, “you’re cute,” he says back.

Ella gasped, breaking into a fit of giggles, “thank you,” she says.

“You’re also slightly drunk,” Harry laughs.

“You’re not wrong,” she says to him.

“Ella,” a girl stumbles over, “we’re leaving.”

Ella rubs her eyes, her make up smudging only making her look cuter to Harry. She turns to Harry, a pout on her pretty pink lips, “let me get your number before you go kitten,” he says.

Ella nods grabbing her purse, she fumbles in the black hole before pulling out the device and handing it to Harry. He texts himself and then helps her slip on her heels, chuckling as she giggled, claiming she was Cinderella.

“Get it CinderELLA,” she laughs, Harry helping her out of the booth.

“Yes kitten I get it,” he laughs, leaning down and kissing her cheek.

“You’re not going to kiss me, kiss me,” she frowns.

Harry wants to. He really wants to taste the cherry chap stick she had slapped on; he really wants to taste the strawberry lemonade on her tongue. But she was drunk, and that had never really stopped him before, but she was different. She was cute and vulnerable.

“You’re a little drunk,” Harry says, pulling back, “maybe next time.”

She frowns as her friend grabs her arm, another girl shouting that their lyft had arrived, “bye Harry,” she yells, waving.

Harry smiled, shoving his hands in his pockets. He was pleased with himself.

The street was dark, light up by flickering poles. He hated his neighborhood, he knew it was somewhere Ella would never be found in. His apartment complex was a mess, most of it filled with meth addicts and prostitutes. Harry made his way up the stairs where he was pretty sure there was a new blood stain, yes new, someone had been shot there just a month ago.

When he opened the door to his very small one bedroom apartment he rolled his eyes. It reeked of weed and he could see the two guys sitting on his ratty couch he had found outside. He saw the older one, the brunette who thought it would be fun to dye his hair blue, rolling up a new blunt.

“What the fuck are you guys doing here?” Harry snapped, shrugging of his jacket and tossing it on the small brown table that awkwardly sat in between the kitchen and living room.

“Where’s the slut from the bar?” The blue hair one asked, a smirk on his lips.

“Fuck off Dylan, I asked you a question,” Harry sneered, smacking the back of his head, he turned to the black haired guy sitting on the couch, “and you what the fuck? You guys don’t live here.”

“And thank God we don’t,” Dylan laughed.

Harry wrapped his fingers around the collar of Dylan’s shirt, lifting him up from the couch with no problem, “what’s that supposed to mean?”

Dylan’s brown eyes widen in fear, “n-nothing just joking with you,” he stuttered.

Harry forcefully shoves him back on the couch and then proceeds to take a step back, “you sure you didn’t shit yourself?” Oliver laughed at Dylan as he tried to re-adjust himself.

“Fuck off,” Dylan snapped rolling his eyes.

“Where’s the girl?” Oliver asked, “she was hot.”

“None of your fucking business,” Harry retorted, grabbing a cigarette and lighting it, he brings it to his lips inhaling.

“Are you going to tell us how you f u c k e d her or leave us hanging?” Dylan raised an eyebrow.

Harry exhaled the toxin, a line of smoke leaving his lips, “I’m going to remind you that it’s not your damn business and if you ask one more time I will rip your head off your shoulders, how’s that for an answer?” He says, his voice cold and sharp.

Dylan nods, trying to not seem like he was scared. He coughed and leaned back, handing the small blunt to Oliver who took it happily.

As Harry sat there watching his two friends get high in his low income apartment he couldn’t help but think about Ella. He couldn’t help but wonder if she made it back safe, wondering about the hangover she would have tomorrow. He couldn’t help but wonder what he should do next. He had fifty dollars to his name until Friday and taking her out to dinner was not an option. Harry frowned, he wanted to see her again but he didn’t know how.

Harry pulled out his phone, clicking on Ella’s name.

Hope you got home safe. X - H


My Two Cents: The Gay Talk

Excuse me while I generalize here, but something that annoys me most about the modern parent is their need to make “The Gay Talk” with their kids a thing. I appreciate that you want your child to know that I’m here and I’m queer and “gay is okay,” but the truth is, telling your children that there are gay people in this world should not be significant enough of an event that it needs to be a moment. Save that for telling your kids why the family dog is never coming home, or explaining why the Holocaust happened — not why it’s okay that I exist.

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Righteousness is for people who don’t know any better

Everyone knows Neil has an attitude problem, and that he says what he thinks. For example, in the first book when they take Neil to Eden’s:

“Drugs are stupid.“
“Ouch,” Andrew said with a cold smile. “That’s judgmental.”
“I’m not going to apologize for thinking you’re being idiotic.”
“Is your spine the spine of the righteous?” Andrew wondered. “Are you trying your best to step on my toes because you’re feeling the tragic weight of the holier than thou?”
“Righteousness is for people who don’t know any better.” 

What’s interesting about this is how (probably unintentionally) honest that last line is. Neil often doesn’t know any better, but that doesn’t stop him from running his mouth and meddling when he thinks he is right.

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normal problems

[read on ao3 / read on]

Emma can’t sleep.

She’s tucked up against Killian in their usual tangle of limbs, listening to the steady sound of his breathing. The house is quiet, without even the usual creaks and groans of the boards settling to distract her; outside, the faint breeze is barely enough to stir the branches of the trees she can see through the window. It should be peaceful- it is peaceful- but the ball of anxiety in her stomach only tightens, because what if-?

“Emma,” Killian says softly, his voice bringing her out of her reverie, “what is it?”

“I thought you were asleep.” Tipping her head up, she meets his gaze, unable to keep a smile from tugging at her lips as he smothers a yawn.

“If you were thinking any louder, the neighbors would be coming over to complain,” he says dryly, pressing a kiss to the crown of her head. “What’s wrong?”

She sighs, toying with the neck of his shirt. “You’re not going to like it.”

“Out with it, Swan.”

“It’s…well.” Shifting slightly, she props her chin on his chest, letting her arm slide low around his waist. “It’s the wedding.”

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Where She Went (Part 2)


pairing: daveed diggs x reader

summary: daveed and reader were high school sweethearts who had a bad breakup, fate (and a well-timed cello concert) brought them together in NYC. they had a lot of catching up to do.

warnings: swearing, mentions of car wrecks and death, smut at the end because i’m still me after all.

word count: 6,459

a/n: ayyy it’s day five of the @hamwriters write-a-thon which is reverse POV day. this is a continuation of my lit day fic, linked at the top of this post, and i can’t tell u how to live ur life but it really would make more sense if you read that first. love u!!!!!!!! hope it was worth the wait!!!!!!!!!!!! 

“Daveed,” you breathe. “Hi- I, um…I hadn’t really figured you’d come backstage.”

Daveed shifts uncomfortably, looking around the room.

“Yeah, well…I almost didn’t,” he admits, rubbing the back of his neck.

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anonymous asked:

For the reveal tropes: What about a reveal where she's calling him and she's at home, but against a neutral background, and her mom calls her and he hears her name?

(Sorry I didn’t get to these prompts sooner!)

Marinette was standing on her balcony. The twinkling lights of the city her backdrop. She made sure before she placed the call that no monuments or other obvious landmarks could be seen, though quite frankly her face would be taking up most of the screen.

By the second ring, he answered. Chat Noir’s face showed up on her screen, a smile on his face, but Marinette could see the question still on his face. It wasn’t obvious, but they were partners for a reason.

“Hey there,” Ladybug greeted, her voice sounding a little rough.

“Hi Bugaboo, is everything alright?” Chat Noir asked, concerned in his voice.

Despite feeling under the weather Ladybug smirked. “Just a touch of a cold. Nothing to worry about, but my kwami suggested I not push it unless there’s an actual akuma threat. You don’t mind patrolling alone tonight, do you?”

“Not at all my Lady,” he told her, as she was sure he would. “You just take care of yourself, alright?”

As Chat Noir was talking a voice called up to Marinette from her trap door. “Marinette, your tea is ready. Come down stairs!”

Panic set in as she looked at her communicator. Did Chat Noir hear? “Thanks, see you later, gotta go,” she said quickly, shutting the communicator before the cat could say anything else as she moved quickly to drop down from her skylight. “Coming!”

Her transformation fell away before her bottom hit her mattress. She looked at her kwami with concern. “Do you think he heard?”

“I suppose we will find out soon enough,” Tikki replied, which didn’t calm Marinette at all. Still there was nothing she could do about it as she pulled at her hair slightly and headed down to the main floor of the family living space.

While her mother fussed over her, concerned with how flushed Marinette was, she showed no inkling to the internal distress of her daughter. Which was just as well, because Marinette wasn’t sure she had the capacity to talk her way out of any prying questions from her mother when her head felt like fluff.

She kept listening for any unusual thumps from the floor above, but she continued to hear nothing and slowly started to relax. Maybe he wasn’t coming. Maybe he hadn’t heard after all, or not well enough to make any guesses.

Instead her mother asked her about school and projects and if Marinette was feeling up for going to school tomorrow. Marinette thought it would be nice to have a day without school, but in all honesty with a good night’s rest and more tra in the morning she was sure she could manage through the day just find. It was only a little cold.

With a little snack to take up to her room, and a promise not to stay up too late, Marinette finally went back up to her quiet room. She looked around half surprised, and the shutted happily going over to her computer. There was a tutorial on YouTube she wanted to watch.

Marinette looked at the time, three videos later, and realized it was getting late. In fact it was about the time she would be getting back from patrol. “We should probably head to bed, right Tikki?”

Her kwami stretched in the air in front of the computer as Marinette shut it down. “That sounds like a good plan. Hopefully tomorrow you’ll…”

Tikki didn’t finish what she had to say as they heard something land on the roof. Something or someone. Marinette found herself hoping it was actually an akuma as she carefully went up the stairs to her bed loft.

Her heart sank as she got on her bed and saw a pair of green eyes looking through the window. Taking a deep breath, Marinette rand her hands down her face, still looking up. She thought he looked sheepish. Good!

Standing she started propping up her window, Chat Noir moving to the opening. “You probably shouldn’t be outside. Can I come in?”

At least he was being polite. Marinette nodded. “Just be quiet. My parents might be asleep, but I don’t need them waking up.”

He nodded and then dropped in, making sure to close the window afterwards. “Um, so, patrol was quiet!”

Marinette looked at him for a while, her arms curled around her chest. She didn’t like this. For some reason she felt so small under Chat Noir’s gaze. It was unreasonable since she’d met him several times in her normal persona and never felt intimidated around him before. “So, that’s why you didn’t show up sooner?”

“I’m sorry. Should I? I know me hearing your mother over the communicator was just bad luck,” he smirked, likely despite himself, at the comment. “But I wasn’t sure what to do. I figured it was best to just clear my head and patrol. Give you a chance to maybe do the same.”

“I honestly wasn’t sure you heard or heard well enough to figure it out,” Marinette sighed, looking down at her bare knees.

“Oh,” he said, sounding slightly embarrassed, which caused Marinette to look at her partner again. He rubbed the back of his neck. “I guess I should have come over right away.”

Marinette shook her head. “I was down stairs with my mother for a while. It’s okay.”

“Your parents are so nice,” he said. She would have thought it was just to say something, but the way he said it, with such confidence.

Marinette narrowed her eyes. “You just met them the one time. With Animan, right?”

Chat Noir flushed. “Well, actually…”

“Yes?” She cocked her head to the side.

“We sorta already know each other,” Chat Noir muttered softly.

Marinette’s eyes grew wide. There was no way, right? Yet here he was saying it was so. “How well?”

“Maybe I should just show you?” And before she could protest, because shouldn’t one of them keep their identity a secret, but on the other hand it would level the playing field, Chat Noir dropped his transformation.

Instinctively she closed her eyes as the electric green flash enveloped her partner. When she opened her eyes there sat Adrien Agreste on her bed. It was completely normal for her to scream.

Thankfully, Adrien moved quickly, covering her mouth. “Your parents,” he hissed in reminder. All the while his eyes were wide, possibly surprised by her reaction, or scared, but why would he be scared?

Marinette looked at him, still in complete shock, but numbly nodded her head. Screaming was bad. Slowly Adrien moved his hand away. She noticed there was some laughter being muzzled not far away and Tikki’s voice soft but annoyed too. Most her attention was on the green eyes in front of her.

She then turned away and pulled over her large cat plushy, burying her face in it. Her voice muffled in the stuffing. “This isn’t happening. This is some sort of weird fever dream. There is no way that I’m this lucky!”

There was a moment where all she heard was unintelligible kwami voices, and then she heard Adrien take a sharp intake of air. “Lucky?”

Turning, to peek over at the blond boy that was still sitting on her bed, not magically morphed into something else like a dream normally would, she saw Adrien was still flushed and his eyes held more than a bit of wonder. “Um, yeah, um, because if you’re him. And he’s you. I… well… wouldn’t that make me very lucky?”

Marinette wasn’t sure she was making sense. Being sick and being surprised twice over made it hard to think. “Um, well, I was thinking I was pretty lucky, because Marinette is my friend and Ladybug is my favorite partner.”

“I’m your only partner!” Marinette said with just a touch of indignation, and a full smack from her pillow.

When Adrien pulled the pillow away from his face he was smiling just as much as she was. “And I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

Later that evening.

“If you get sick, don’t blame me!”

“You say that like it wouldn’t be worth it to be with you.”

Fun fair with the Family - Batmom x Batfam (REPOST please READ the explanation right under the summary :-( )

Summary : Batmom decides to take her family to the fun fair…She quickly realizes it might not be her best idea ever.

(My master list, by the way : Right here )

Repost because, and this time I really don’t know how, the original post got erased…BUT I had it backed up for once. So here. FUCK. Hum. Sorry. But it had almost 100 notes, and comment people left I didn’t even had time to read because the story simply disappeared…I’m a bit bummed out right now…Is it too much to ask if you could like, reblog and comment again ? I kinda feel bad, it’s not my style to ask those things…I’m so sorry for that, but it’s a bit discouraging, to write something, and to see that apparently it was liked, but to not know who liked it, what were the comments etc etc, especially since this time, I didn’t do anything, the story simply disappeared…Anyway, hope you’ll enjoy, and re-enjoy if you already read it :’-(


Not even an hour in, and you know you made a huge mistake bringing them here. All at the same time. They were going to be the death of you, so much energy…But it was just so rare that you all had some free times at once…You just wanted to spend some time with them.

It all started so well though.


You woke up in the best way possible : with your Bruce’s lips trailing kisses on your neck, shoulders and back, his arms wrapped around you. You shifted around, and before you could say anything, he kissed your temple, the corner of your mouth, slowly putting butterfly kisses on your face, to finally kiss you on the lips.

You melted in the kiss, and squeezed his large frame against you, your arms struggling to wrap around him. Damn that man was big. When he pulls away, you can’t help but grin at him, and he gives you the smile he only reserved to you. A real, pure smile. You nuzzle his neck, and he let out a contended sigh.

-You’re alright ?

-More than alright my love, as always when you’re here.

-My sweet Broosh. You know what I mean.

-I am alright. Not even a single bruise or scratch. The boys are too. Calm night.

-I like those.

-I like you.

-I love you.

-Oh yeah, that too. I love you (Y/N).

-Well, here’s for our morning’s cheesy ritual…We probably should get up.

-I have the entire day off.

-Oh ? Well then, what’s the hurry right ?

He smiles once more at you, and you crash your lips on his, climbing on him to straddle him. One of his hand tangles itself in your (H/L) (H/C) hair, the other goes to your waist and his grip is almost bruising. He cannot stop himself, you always had a strong and immediate effect on him…He rolls on top of you, and you wrap your arms around his neck, your legs around his waist.

-What’s the hurry indeed.

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Dear Evan Hansen Reverse AU: Therapy

“Jared?” His therapist looked at him from her clipboard with a strange look. “You’re being unusually quiet today. Would you like to tell me what happened?”
“Why do you think something happened? Can’t I just want to not talk to the shrink my parents are forcing me to see?”
“Well when you come into my office crying and in distress I believe it would help to share. If it had something too do with Evan-”
“Evan, Evan, Evan that’s all we talk about isn’t it? Oh, poor Evan, he was so young. Evan Hansen? The kid who l killed himself over the summer? Oh you’re Evan’s friend? I’m so sorry for your loss!” Jared’s rant stopped suddenly thinking about what Connor said. “No wonder Evan Hansen killed himself, I would have too being forced to put up with you…”
“Jared, whoever said that had no right.”
“Damn right he didn’t! Where the hell does Connor fucking Murphy get off claiming to be Evan’s best friend? I was his only friend! I’m…I’m the reason…”
“Jared if this is getting uncomfortable for you I can call your parents-”
“No, it’s alright I want to get this off my chest. Fuck Connor Murphy. He didn’t know Evan like I did, he didn’t hang out with him at the orchard. He didn’t go over to his house and pay videogames. He didn’t kiss Evan for the first time! That was all me, and yeah that probably sounds selfish but you know what? Evan leaving me was the most selfish thing he could do!”
“I’m not saying you should blame yourself Jared, but I’m also not saying you should blame Evan or Connor. In these situations there’s no one to blame for what happened. Your not the reason Evan’s dead and you need to know that.”
“Really? Then why didn’t Evan say anything? What if he said something and I just ignored it? Am I still not to blame?”
“No, you’re not. You can’t control people's​ emotions and in case like this there may be no signs of change in the person.”
“I’m not going to fucking argue with you anymore, call my parents and tell them fuck this shit.” Jared got up, slamming the door behind him as he walked out to his car.
The therapist was right about one thing, Connor Murphy is a lying asshole. Those emails weren’t real and neither was their “friendship”.


word count: 1888

author: sparklingmendes

a/n: in this imagne, they are both 24

When a knock sounded from the front door of my apartment, I shuddered. I knew that in the other side, was my boyfriend of just one month, Shawn. I had texted him saying that I wanted to talk, actually wanting to discuss something major about our relationship.

Before I met Shawn, I was with a guy named Tyler. We had been together since high school, our relationship ending abruptly two years ago. I had found out I was pregnant, the shocking discovery not planned whatsoever. We were young, being pregnant the absolute last thing on our minds. He wasn’t ready, everything being too much for him; and he left.

Packing one bag and leaving.

Never coming back.

I was heartbroken, but aborting the baby was something that I wasn’t going to do. My parents supported me the whole time, offering me their spare room to become my own. I continued out my education to become a paramedic and found a condo apartment perfect for me and the baby.

Then I delivered her.

Avalon Renee.

It was then that I fell in love all over again. Age then became my last concern, my worries and fears about being judged disappearing. When we moved into the apartment, everything fell into place from there.

Never did I think I would find another man who would love me as much as Tyler did, yet Shawn had proven that wrong by loving me more in one month then Tyler ever did. Now, two years later, I am falling deeper in love with him and my daughter each day.

He didn’t know about Avalon, though, and I was finally introducing them. I was not forcing him into parenthood, but my daughter is the most important person in my life.

I want the best for her.

I didn’t want to be judged by Shawn, nor did I want him to leave, I know I am a young mother, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Avalon was napping right now, and I planned on bringing him up to see her after explaining things.

I let out a shaky sigh, standing up from the couch and moving towards the door. Upon resting my hand against the door knob, I let out a final sigh and  swung open the door.

Instantly, I was met with Shawn’s soft brown eyes and his perfect smile. I smiled too, the sight in front of me being impossible to look at without cracking a grin. He opened his arms, and I walked into them. Burying my head in the crook of his neck, I breathed in the scent of his cologne, “Hey.”

“Hey honey.” His words caused mu heart to swell, “You wanted me to come over?”

“Yeah,” I pulled away from him, “Come in.”

He stepped inside, closing the door behind him and slipping off his shoes.

“We can sit,” I gestured towards the living room.

“Okay,” he smiled.

We walked in and sat on the couch where I once was, his hand instantly being tangled in mine.

“Is everything okay?” You hand is clammy,” Shawn laughed softly, his words reminding me of how nervous I was to talk about this.

“I just want to talk,” I said, not knowing where to start.

“Okay,” he said again.

“So,” I breathed, “Before we started dating, I was with a guy named Tyler.”

I seen Shawn gulp, his Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat. He nodded, urging me to continue.

“We had been together since high school. I thought he was the guy that I would spend the rest of my life with, the guy I would marry, even; until he left me,” I said, “It was so sudden, and he barely had time to pack a bag and he was gone.”

A frown pulled at Shawn’s lips, “I’m sorry.”

“The reason why he left, though, is what I have been keeping from you,” I said, “Because I don’t want you to leave me too.”

Shawn’s hand slipped from mine, his eyes softening with worry. I held my  hands in my lap, not able to meet his gaze anymore. He remained silent, a million thoughts probably racing through his head.

“Why did he leave you?” he asked after a minute, trying to gather himself.

“He left me because he found out he wasn’t to be a father,” I said, looking up towards him.

Shawn remained quiet, his eyes wide as his mouth feel agape. His hand slowly found mine again, “A-a father? So you’re a-“

“I’m a mother,” I finished his sentence, biting my lip softly. “I know I’m young and that you are probably feeling conflicted and confused. I’m sorry I haven’t told you sooner, I just wasn’t ready.”

His eyes examined my face, his fingers playing with mine.

“Please,” I whispered, “Please say something.”

“I don’t know what to say.” He said quietly, “Wow.”

“I’m not forcing you to parent her-“

“It’s a girl?” Shawn cut me off.

“Yeah,” I smiled softly, “Her name is Avalon.”

“Avalon,” he repeated, “How old is she?”

His curiosity to learn more about Avalon made me happy, as this was a good sign rather then a bad one.

“She’s only two,” I said.

“You should have told me sooner, you shouldn’t have been afraid

“She’s only two,” I said.

“You should have told me sooner, you shouldn’t have been afraid.”

“Shawn,” I laughed sadly, “I was pregnant at the age of twenty two and alone, except from my parent who went above and beyond to take care of us. I am young and I have a daughter, it’s scary at times.”

“You shouldn’t have to feel scared,” Shawn said, sliding closer to me.

“I get judged, people stare,”  I say, buring my head against his chest ad his arms wrapped around me.

“How could I have not known? When we would never come to your place, always going out or coming to mine. I had no idea,” Shawn said, “So Tyler isn’t in her life?”

“He wanted nothing to do with her,” I said sadly, “Whenever a date would come up, Mom and Dad would take her. I was so scared to tell you, I felt like it would change everything.”

“It won’t” Shawn kissed the top of my head as I pulled away to meet his gaze.

“Would you like to meet her?” I asked.

“Yeah,” Shawn nodded, “I really would.”

We stood up and I took his hand in mine, my trembling fingers coming to a still as Shawn’s closed around the,. I led his upstairs and we stopped at a closed wooden door. Quietly, I pushed it open and gestured Shawn in. I turned on the dim lamp on her dresser, stepping towards where she slept in her crib. Her small body was covered by a pink blanket and she clutched a small bear under her arm.

Shawn stayed back, waiting until I held her in my arms to step towards me.

I turned to him, rocking her in my arms softly. Shawn’s eyes landed on her, and his smile grew, “Shawn, this is Avalon.”

“She’s small,” Shawn whispered, “She’s so small.”

“She was born early, so they had to keep her in the hospital until she was healthy enough to come home with me,” I said, feeling her squirm in my arms.

Shawn never took his eyes off of her, almost fascinated with the sight in front of him, “Can I hold her?”

“Yeah,” I nodded, gently placing Avalon in his arms.

Shawn laughed quietly, “She’s waking up.” Casting my gaze downwards, I was met with her sleepy hazel eyes. Her small mouth was agape and her wide eyes looked up at Shawn, confused as to who he was.

Reaching a small arm forward, she touched his chin. I smiled at the sight, watching as she continued to stare up at him.

“I think she liked you,” I said quietly.

Shawn laughs, “I hope she does.”

I looked at him, “Shawn?”

“Mm,” he mumbled, still lost in the sight of the child in his arms.

“This won’t change us?” I was unsure, as we have only been together for one month.

Before he could answer, she was grasping his thumb in her hand; soon after stuffing it in her mouth. I laughed, “Sorry, she’s teething. She chews on everything she can get her hands on, including your fingers I guess.” Shawn merely said merely said, pulling his bottom lip between his teeth.

“She has your eyes,” Shawn said, dodging my question, “Your beautiful eyes.”

“Shawn,” I said quietly, watching as Avalon’s eyes started to fall.

“What-“ he looked down, cutting himself off upon seeing her fall asleep; still holding his fingers finger in her tiny hand.

“She’s so sweet, my god,” Shawn sighed, bouncing ever so slightly.

“Like I said earlier, I’m nit forcing you to drop everything and become her father; or even parent her,” I said, watching as he bent over and put her back in her crib. He covered her with the blanket and took one last glance at her before standing up straight.

“I will her like she’s my own,” Shawn said, his arms wrapping around my waist as he closed the space between us.


“The only thing that will change about us is that I will give half my love for you, to her,” Shawn said, “We are in this together. I’m not going to let you do this lone, or let Avalon not have a father figure.”

I felt tears burn behind my eyes and I smile, “I love you Shawn,”

“I love you too,” he said, leaning in and placing his lips on mine.

As days passed, Shawn came over day after day and spent time with Avalon and I. She quickly grew attached to him, squealing in delight whenever she sees him walk in the room. Seeing her that happy warms my heart, as Shawn really did treat her like she was his own.

On our three month anniversary, we spent the day with Avalon at home. Shawn was sitting on the floor, making funny noises and bouncing Avalon on his lap. She giggled, pausing and squealing again every time he bounced her. She continued to giggle, until she let out a tiny gasping noise and shoved her fingers in her mouth.

I grabbed her teether and handed it to her, gently taking her fingers from her mouth, “D-daddy.”

I paused looking down at Shawn who stopped bouncing he immediately, “What?” He quickly looked up at me, his eyes wide. I got off the couch and sat beside him, “Shawn!  S-she just said ‘Daddy’.”

“What did you say sweetheart?” I asked, scooping her into my arms and kissing her head.

She tried again, almost getting the word about before incoherent mumbled and splutters. I smiled, kissing her head again. Shawn’s arm slipped around my waist, his lips pressing against my temple, “This is amazing.”

“She just said her first word, Shawn,” I leaned my head against his shoulder as she crawled off my lap and towards her toys.

“God, I love her so much already,” Shawn said, watching her contently as she played absentmindedly.

“I love our little family,” I looked up at him, “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Shawn said, “I wouldn’t trade this for the world.”

CeCi Korea June 2017 Issue: Boys, be the ASTRO!

Summer’s coming and you’re making a comeback. What comes to your mind when I say ‘summer’?
What comes to mind when you say ‘summer’ would be freedom? I want to light a bonfire at a campsite and spend an enjoyable time. My hometown’s in Cheongju so a lot of times I’d have fun like that when it’s summer.
JinJin: If you’re talking about summer, then of course it’s the sea. I used to enjoy fishing with my family when I was younger. The image of someone fishing paints itself like a memory.
Sanha: I’ve only been to a waterpark once since I was born but it was a lot of fun. I want to go again.
Eunwoo: The sun’s up longer during the summer. It makes me remember how it would still be sunny out even though school has ended and I’m playing soccer. My dad’s really been into hiking lately and I want to tag along too.
MJ: A weather where you have to avoid the sun!  Doesn’t it totally seem like a song title to you? I want to eat watermelon underneath a shady tree.
Rocky: Maybe because I’d sweat more than I usually do but diet is what comes to mind first. Rather than hitting the gym, I want to try a sport that I can enjoy doing so I’m thinking of starting swimming this summer.

Is dieting important even to male idols? Do you regulate your meals as well?
I usually dance intensely so I don’t see the need to purposely go on a diet. When we finish filming for our music videos, I would hear that I’ve unknowingly lost weight.
Moonbin: Before debuting, my diet meals were personally planned and I would have chicken breast and eggs in the mornings. If I’m busy, then it’s one apple. I would eat like that. We’ve decided that we’ll now manage our own selves.
Eunwoo: We don’t pay as much attention to it as girl groups. But even so, we would each put in some care when there’s an important filming and if the other seems like he’s gained weight then we would tell him.

Is there anything after debuting that you want to be better at or something that has attracted your interest?
I think I need to continue studying up foreign languages. When we perform overseas, I think it’s polite that we learn their trendy words, dances, etc.. Because we have to do even better.
Moonbin: Me too! And having stamina is more important that I thought. We were always overflowing with energy pre-debut so I didn’t think there was a need to worry about our stamina but as we continuously carried out promotions, I can feel that my stamina’s deteriorating.
JinJin: I’ve recently developed an interest in fashion. If previously I only stuck to the hip-hop style that I like, then now I’m finding ways to wear clothes that fit my body and physical frame.
MJ: I think managing my stamina and just generally taking care of myself is necessary. I try to eat some nutritional supplements too.
Rocky: Seeing as how I’m a rapper, I’ve been thinking lately about how I should read more books. There’s a limit to how much I can write just using my own experiences. I’m reading and not too long ago, I asked Eunwoo hyung to loan me one of his books. It’s a book called but I’ve yet to start on it.
Sanha: I’m relearning the basics of guitar (playing). I want to be better at it. I also want to show acoustic versions of our songs.

That reminds me, aren’t you having your first solo concert in July? Is there a stage that each of you are dreaming of?
I want to put smile on the faces of fans who are coming to watch our concert. I’m thinking of having a stage with JinJin.
JinJin: I’m going to do it with you (laughs). After debuting, I don’t think I’ve had the chance to really show my rap so I want to show off a dark rap that matches with original hip-hop.
Rocky: I want to show off a dance stage that’s worthy of hearing comments like “legendary” and “the best”. We don’t have that kind of image yet.
Eunwoo: Shall I go home today and upload one? With a title that says “ASTRO’s Legend.”

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