I saw this post by Miranda Lambert on FB and thought reading about social media from the POV of a celebrity would be relevant to some interests after this week. There is a lot of talk in many fandoms about faves stepping back, not engaging and appearing to be feast or famine when it comes to SM. Miranda’s words are a glimpse into how exhausting/boring/trying it can be to be “on” all the time and how Internet toxicity often keeps celebrities from revealing their most personal of selves. Anything other than professional posts is icing on the cake and when the loudest and hostile fuck it up for everybody, it results in nobody getting dessert.
(Excuse the food metaphor, I’m struggling with staying on the diet bandwagon. It should also go without saying but this isn’t directed at any one person or group. Just a blanket statement supporting a different perspective than were used to seeing down here in the trenches.)
-Recently, I decided that I shared Lena Dunham’s lifelong yearning to have an abortion, so I had one.
-Upon completing this brave and heroic process, I decided I should (trigger warning: appropriation of queer culture)celebrate.
-Like any REALISTIC womyn, I decided to go to the local (trigger warning: homophobia)bakery to get a cake to celebrate my choice over my body.
-I approached the baker, and noticed he was (trigger warning: hitler) a CISHET white man. I felt the hope of a bakery representing all backgrounds slowly slipping away.
-I said “I need a cake with a bunch of cells drawn on top of it because I’m celebrating my abortion. I need you to also write ’#NOTMYPREGNANCY’ on it.”
-He (trigger warning: not believing victims)looked at me and said “I’m not drawing anything unless it’s Muhammad’s face. This bakery only serves white men.” And then he spit on me and called me the n word and took off my headscarf.
-I diagnosed myself with PTSD from all of my experiences as a marginalized person and I decided I needed to send a strong message to not my president Drumpf.
-I yelled “STOP HUMANIZING MY ABORTION INFANTS ARE A SOCIAL CONSTRUCT AND MOTHERHOOD IS SLAVERY!”.
-I began reciting lines from Hamilton and whispered “not my founding fathers” 3 times.
-All doubt about the fragility of toxic white masculinity was erased as the man disintegrated.
-Everyone cheered as the bakery was turned into a safe space for my experiences.
honestly tho wasn’t john like “yeah i should probs go ‘cause i gotta get rosie, y’know? my daughter? that baby i had?” and then after sherlock hugged him he’s just like “well, time to go get cake and celebrate with our friends!”
john. your daughter. you…do you even have a daughter???
Vader: [text] happy empire day!!!!! 🥂
Vader: doing anything fun today??? Obi-Wan: You cannot be serious. Vader: what?? Obi-Wan: Yes, Anakin, I celebrate the time the republic fell, and I found out that you had pledged yourself to evil. Vader: oh fine be a bummer about it 🙄
Obi-Wan: How should I be about it? Hmm? What would you have me do? Vader: i dunno, we had a sheet cake in the break room today. that was fun Obi-Wan: Fine. I’ll get myself a cake. I’ll have them put “Happy “Day I Cut Off All Of Anakin’s Remaining Limbs” Day” on it. Vader: fuck u Vader: FINE next year MY cake will say ‘happy obiwans biggest failure day’ Obi-Wan: Next year I shall send you a card with a photo of my hair THAT I STILL HAVE. Vader: well ill send U a shirtless pic of what i looked like before u maimed me Obi-Wan: And I’ll send YOU an old picture of me smiling, since you took HAPPINESS away from ME! Vader: ill send U a picture of those pants i had that u liked because u took THOSE away from ME Vader: u know what im talking about 😘
Obi-Wan: Kriff my life. I really am going to block your number. Vader: sure 😏
Randy Orton - Prompt #33 and #69: “Bite me.” “If you insist” and “You have approximately 5 seconds to get out of my face before I kill you.
Requested for - Anon
Warnings - Swearing, Implied smut (idk)
Word Count - 996 words.
Another successful Smackdown live pay-per-view in the bag! A huge win for you and your bestfriend Nikki Bella in a tag match against Natalya and Carmella was the icing on the cake and now it was time for the celebrations to begin.
A local bar had been hired out and everyone’s drinks pre-paid for by the big boss himself and it was safe to say that everyone; even the most sensible of superstars were totally wasted and you (normally one of the sensible ‘mothers’) found yourself talking to one of the guys you hated most out of the whole roster; Randy Orton.
In fact, you weren’t just talking to him - you were blatantly flirting with him and the sober part of you was still trying to listen to the angel on your shoulder (and you really knew you should be)- the side of your conscience that was still aware of who you were becoming involved with, the side that was screaming at you to go and find Nikki and John or even Naomi. But in your alcohol induced haze he was captivating you and your devil was winning. Everything about this man you usually despised was so intriguing and he was captivating your thoughts and damn he was putting your mind in the gutter - but did you really care right now?
Muscles straining against a tight white button up, those muscular thighs framed perfectly in a pair of tight fitting jeans, you could feel yourself gawking at him as he aimlessly rambled on about something you frankly didn’t care about. But you could see the staring being reciprocated clear as day as his blue eyes gazed upon your cleavage perfectly framed in a fitting maroon dress (that Nikki and basically forced you to wear)
A giggle bubbled from your lips as you caught him staring, you went to move off of your bar stool but almost toppled over partly as a result of the alcohol and partly due to your stupid heels (that surprise, surprise Nikki made you wear) . Randy caught your arm and with a smirk ‘accidentally’ brushed pulled your smaller frame against his in order to support you - although even he stumbled in his worse for wear state.
“I think I should get you home” he mumbled into your ear spinning you around looping your arm through his. You nodded dizzily and giggled as you two stumbled to the bar exit - some part of you still looking around to make sure no one saw you and him leaving and to be honest, at this point you didn’t care that he was the most arrogant and self-conceited man on the whole roster. You were getting laid - and after months of no action it was a completely feasible idea to your drunken mind.
Soft moans escaped your lips as he threw you onto the somewhat uncomfortable mattress in your seedy hotel room, but the idea of no luxury was quickly dispersing from your brain and being replaced with pure bliss as Randy worked magic all over your body. Every nerve tingling at his very touch, you could tell he was teasing you, with painstakingly slow and light movements. He chuckled at your absentminded whines and whimpers before you really caught his attention.
“Bite me” you growled at him placing a harsh kiss on his lips, you received an even more animalistic growl back from Randy before he gave you a wink.
“If you insist” he murmured before attacking your neck - and if you were honest the rest of the night was just one pleasurable blur; one that almost certainly kept everyone awake.
You grabbed your phone of the bedside table, you head spinning and that unpleasant sick and hungover feeling washed over your body - along with some sort of muscle ache. You groaned aloud looking at the time 8:45 - far too early. You dropped your phone back down and rolled over only to be met with the warm presence of a body and a large tattooed arm slung over your waist and that’s when everything from last night came rushing back. As you continued to mull over what had happened the ultimate worst finally set in, you slapped your hand against your face in disgust and horror realising that you, last night did the deed with the most unbearable man on the the entire fucking roster.
“Fuck sake!” you pretty much screamed waking the ever vain viper, he smirked as he turned his head to face you.
“Morning Gorgeous” he chuckled grabbing your hips a smug smirk etched onto his stupid face. You grimaced and forcefully shoved his hands off of your hips, standing up from the bed and dragging the sheet with you.
“Get out of my room, now” you huffed calmly launching his boxers at his chest, he once again snickered that always present cockiness radiating from him.
“C’mon you don’t want me to leave Y/N, you want this again” he motioned to his tanned also naked body. You flared your nostrils in anger taking in a deep breath trying to keep calm.
“I mean it Ran-” he interrupted you with some crude remark that you wouldn’t waste your time paying attention to and that’s when you finally snapped. You stroppily gathered the rest of his clothes from last night and threw them in his direction. “I’m fucking serious Randy, you have approximately 5 seconds to get out of my face before I kill you” you screamed manically from across the bed. He looked at you in shock as he slowly slid on his clothes and walked towards the door. He gave you one last look over his shoulder,
“You know you loved it Y/N” he sneered before slamming the door. You collapsed on your bed, head in your hands. What the fuck did i do you thought to yourself shaking your head in abysmal shame as you thought about all of last nights events.
A/N: Hey guys another imagine finally here, Nikkii and I are so sorry we had exams last week so we didn’t even have time to breathe that’s why we were a bit inactive however, they’re over now which means hopefully we can get a few more imagines out for you guys! Also regarding Nikkii’s social media imagines the should be out tomorrow as she as had some troubles with her internet today. Anway, hope you guys enjoy this (slightly smuttier than usual) imagine ~ Moxxii
A/N: Just when I thought I finished everyone’s birthdays…
;-; And I know this is a day late, but I was honestly so tired yesterday, so here it is!
Word Count: 2205
“We should throw a
“No way. Last time we threw a surprise party, we scared him so badly that he
was too ashamed to join us”
“Free cake for us tho”
That’s right. It happened every single year to everything.
The numerous ways of celebrating only getting repeated, over and over and over.
It’s tiresome if you think about how many you would go through throughout your
life. But none the less, it was still fun.
“You guys are just really bad at planning things. Remember
when we tried to cook for Jin’s birthday but we ended up getting take out
‘cause you guys burned everything?” You said, looking at the pathetic glares
they gave you.
“Well then what do we do Y/N? Since you’re ‘Miss Know It All’” Yoongi said,
throwing his hands up for quotations.
“I suggest” You cleared your throat, “Two birthday parties” You smiled.
“Well, one to spend with just me” You said, hearing giggles and coughs amongst
the group, quickly making you mad, “Not like that! Just a nice date and stuff…”
“Dessert’s gonna be on Y/N” Jungkook
said to Jimin, nudging his shoulder and wiggling his eyebrows
“I heard that!” You blushed furiously, “Anyways, let’s just keep it chill on
the other day, just all hang out in the dorm, a couple drinks, some singing,
dancing, food, the usual. He doesn’t want a big party, he just wants to be with
“Yes Ma’am!” Jungkook and Taehyung saluted and you laughed, saluting them back.
“Well, what are you gonna do?” Jin asked curiously
“That’s what I need your help for” you smiled widely
Later that day you went to visit Namjoon in his studio. From
the outside, you could clearly hear the bass echoing against the door. You
knocked on it three times –the first two were totally ignored.
“Y/N! Hi! Sorry about the mess, come in!” He happily waved. He sat back down in
his seat, the space in the room quite claustrophobic if you tried fitting
another person in there.
You sat down on his lap, his arms wrapping around you to embrace you while he
set his head on your shoulder, “I missed you baby” He said in his deep voice.
“Joonie~ I was only with the boys for 3 hours” You giggled
“Still! You should have been spending that time with me, the love of your life”
He pouted, only making you smile wider
“I would have been a distraction, you like working in peace” You said, giving
him a kiss on the cheek, “Anyways, I came here to tell you that we’re gonna
have two parties for your birthday”
“Because the boys want to spend the day with you” You stepped off his lap,
opening the door, “And I want to spend alone time with you” you winked
playfully, “I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”
“Wait wait! Is that how you leave your boyfriend? Not even a kiss?”
“I gave you a kiss on the cheek” You smiled playfully, watching his face grow
stern, “I’m kidding, come here” He stood up and embraced you in a tight hug,
kissing your lips with passion, “I love you, have a safe trip home okay?”
“Okay” You laughed, “Love you too” You said as you waved goodbye and headed out
As you stepped out, you saw the boys looking around the
corner wall at you. You held both thumbs up, nodding frantically.
“It’s a go! Let’s get this plan started!”
For the rest of the night, you and the members spent time in
one of the spare rooms of the company, decorating the walls. Every hour, a
member would go up to Namjoon’s studio to keep him distracted from walking
inside the place you were decorating, cause you knew that he liked to go there
“Shit” You said –accidentally- out loud.
“Namjoon’s done for the day in the studio and he’s going back to my place”
“That’s great! You haven’t been able to spend a lot of time together lately”
Taehyung said as he hung up the last piece of string on the wall.
“No it’s not! Tae! I’m not home!”
“Oh… Right” He had a serious face for 3 seconds before bursting out into a
“Well then you better get going!” Hoseok said, giving you your bag and pushing
you towards the door.
“Wha? But what about-”
“Leave it to us Y/N” Jin said comfortingly, “Go beat Namjoon home” He smiled.
“Oh my god, thanks so much guys! I love you guys so much” You said as you raced
out the door, checking your phone to make sure he didn’t send anything else.
You quickly got in your car and started up the Engine,
exiting the parking lot. Luckily it wasn’t too busy, you were able to get home
fast and efficiently.
You unlocked your door and walked inside, instantly taking off your jacket,
putting down your bag and getting things done in the kitchen. You could feel
how hot you were getting from going so fast, there was probably sweat on your
You quickly microwaved food, finishing in time to hear a set of keys jingle
from the door. You smiled as you set down the plates.
“I’m home!” He said, looking around for you. He didn’t see
you anywhere, so he stepped inside and-
“BOO!” You yelled, making him jump back.
“Y/N! DON’T DO THAT OH MY GOD YOU SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF ME” He said, just
making you laugh harder, clutching your stomach, “Rude.” He said
“Sorry not sorry” you replied as you walked over, waving at him to follow you,
“I just finished making dinner so eat”
“Oh wow, I haven’t had a home cooked meal in a while” he smiled happily as he
sat down, digging in, “You’re not gonna eat with me?” He said, his mouth
“I will in a bit, I’m just gonna go and change into something more comfortable”
You smiled as you walked into your room.
You quickly called the guys, “Hey! Did you finish?” You
whispered, not wanting Namjoon to hear anything.
“We actually just did! We’re just about to leave” Jin answered back
“I can’t thank you enough”
“It’s okay Y/N, this is for all of us!”
“Who you talking too?” Your head spins towards the door,
mentally cursing yourself for forgetting to lock it. You quickly hang up, “No
one” you smiled, face red. Namjoon took slow steps towards you, anxiety
building up in you. He lifted your chin up with his hand, “Are you sure?” He
asked, looking right into your soul.
He let go, “I’m just kidding, I saw the caller ID. You don’t need to hide Jin
from me” He laughed as he walked back to the kitchen. You pouted before kicking
him out so you could actually change into your pajamas.
After eating, you washed the dishes along with brushed your
teeth and face before joining Namjoon –who was already fast asleep- in bed.
You kissed him goodnight and you felt as he turned over to
wrap his arms around you. You smiled as you cuddled into his chest.
You got up early the next morning, making sure to give Jin a
call and asking if everything was set and ready. When you got confirmation, you
happily smiled before going back to Namjoon who was now rubbing his sleepy eyes
“Y/N?” He said, his raspy voice alluring.
“Yes?” You replied as you dipped into his side of the bed.
“Why’d you leave the bed? I turned over and you were gone… I almost had a heart
attack” He pouted as he pulled you into him. You wrapped your arms around his
neck and kissed him softly, “I’m sorry. I’m here now” you smiled before kissing
him again, “Come on birthday boy, let’s go out” You said as you patted his
back. He only slumped more, “I don’t wanna” He pulled you in tighter before
rolling you over on the bed so that he was on top of you, “I can think of a
birthday present you can give me right now, and then maybe I’ll consider going
out with you” He smirked mischievously as he planted kisses all over you.
You sighed, not disagreeing that you didn’t want this either, “You promise?”
You said as your face filled up with heat.
Later at around 4 o’clock, you got Namjoon to just wear
something semi-formal while you put on a nice flowy –yet comfortable- dress.
You were just about to leave to house when Namjoon got a phone call. You tried
your best not to smile, knowing your plan was coming perfectly into effect.
“What? Seriously? I-… Yes I understand… I know! Yes I’ll go
in, just make it quick please” He sighed as he hung up on the phone. You
cleared your throat and gave him the best “Curious” face you could put on.
“I’m really sorry Y/N…”
“Oh? How come?” You cleared your throat again when you noticed how happy the
pitch came out.
“I have to drop by the studio, the manager wants me to pick something up… It’ll
be quick though! In and out!”
“Oh…” You faked a small pout, “I’ll um… I can meet you at the dorm then”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes it’s fine” You smiled
“I’m so sorry, I promise I’ll be there as soon as possible!” You waved as you
watched him leave the door, running to his car. You closed it when he
disappeared from your sight and fist pumped the air. You quickly ran to your
car and got to the dorm as soon as possible.
You knocked the ‘Secret Knock’ Jungkook and Taehyung made so that everyone knew
it was you who was coming in.
“Y/N! Quick quick!” Jin shoved you inside, “He’ll be here
“Do you have the lights set?” You asked, looking for Yoongi, aka the man who
was in charge of them.
“Yes we did, don’t worry about a thing!”
“Wow, you guys really tidied up” you said as you looked around, walking to your
“GUYS! HE’S HERE!” Taehyung yelled but still whispering. In a blink of an eye,
all the lights were shut off except for the one in the main foyer. After a few
jingles of the door, it opened, revealing Namjoon behind it.
“Guys?” he said, “Y/N?”
Another light turned on and Namjoon jumped at the sudden
scare. Before walking towards it, noticing there was a note on the table.
Happy Birthday Joonie!
Happy Birthday RapMon!
All over the paper, all written differently in various sizes
and colours. He smiled as another light turned on. He steadily walked towards
that one, looking inside every room, noticing no one was in it. Or so he
As soon as he walked into the lit room, there was a little
podium that had a picture frame on it. It was a picture of everyone, him
On the bottom of the frame it read, “Together,
We Make a Family”
Underneath the picture were scrap pieces of paper that all had writing on them.
He took a closer look, each one of them were dedicated for him from all the
members individually, and yours stood out in the middle.
Then the lights in the whole room turned on and when Namjoon
looked up, all he saw was thousands of sticky notes covering every inch of the
wall, each had a saying. He walked up to one side. He quickly gazed through
them all. They were letters from ARMY’s around the world. Different languages,
different sayings, but all to greet him happy birthday. He chuckled to himself
and shook his head. They all did this for him.
He didn’t want too, but he felt the tears springing in his eyes. All the notes
around the room was pure dedication of how much people cared for him, how far
he has come.
“Happy birthday!” Everyone yelled. He quickly turned around
to see all familiar faces, you were in the middle holding the cake and smiling
ever so brightly. He took off his glasses to wipe away some tears as he smiled,
sniffling when he blew out the candles. Everyone gave him a hug, including you,
“I love you guys so much, you didn’t have to do any of this for me” He sniffled
“Of course we did! You’re our precious leader and we couldn’t wish for a better
one!” Hoseok smiled. He leaned in to kiss you, ignoring all the ‘Aw’s’ from
around him, “Thank you” he said, “I love you so much”
“No need to cry!” You spoke, “You deserve this! No, you even deserve more than
this. It’s just, we can’t fit so many things in such a tiny room” You said,
making him laugh, “You just need to remember that everything you do has an
impact on millions of people. You aren’t bad at making music, you’re not dumb, and
you’re not anything the haters say you are. We’re your family” you said,
everyone smiling at Namjoon, “and don’t forget it”
I kinda would've liked them to have had cardboard cutouts of all the originals that have left, or maybe at least put their characters on the cake. But it seems like they just want to forget about their old/better cast members and not even acknowledge the fact they were around at the srart too. I mean, most of the current cast weren't there for all 100 eps, so they shouldn't really be included in the cake, but I guess they couldn't kick them out of the celebrations entirely.
I think maybe that’s why the characters are so ambiguous? Because really the core five should have been on that cake, but if you make them wonky (except Dylan of course) then you lazily get away with it. Which is tw’s motto.
Imagine all the sensates celebrating their birthday together and getting into a ridiculous argument because of the cake.
Lito wants chocolate because, what else could a good cake be made of? Kala is opposed to buying one and thinks they should all try baking it together and, let’s be honest, Wolfgang will always say yes to anything Kala wants. Will and Nomi couldn’t care less about the cake and they just want to order the pizza once and for all. Sun wants cheesecake because Sun is the best and she has the best taste out of all of them. And Riley and Capheus are happily making a list of everything everyone wants because it is their birthday and they all deserve nice things.
I’ve been playing Dragon Economy Simulator for two years now apparently and i should celebrate!!! I didn’t think i would be that into FR, but here i am. Playing with pixels. It’s absurd.
Okay whatever, i heard there were prizes??? what prizes can i get???
Good question, idk really, i’m going to dig through my hoard and throw a bunch of items at you. what will they be??? A bunch of festival Crowns? Those cakes they gave users for the first anniversary??? A single Nickel Cat Figurine??? An entire stack of those buttrocks from NotN??? The possibilities are endless.*
How many people will win???
idk. i’ll decide later. Maybe everyone will get a buttrock, who knows.
This is very unorganized.
I literally just decided to do this two seconds ago. what more do you want from me 8(((
How do i enter?
Reblog with your Username and ID #, also tell me your favorite thing that’s happened to you on FR. Has someone been super nice to you and sent you random cool stuff? Helped you out?
OR tell me the worst thing your dragons have done. Dream breeding pair gave you one egg? How dare they. A five egg nest with a 50/50 chance of being triple white all come out as White/White/Maize??? The RNG was not kind to you, at all.
(Not actually required, but it’s neat to read, you know?)
Winner(s) will be decided on Friday, October 23rd! I’ll just throw stuff in messages at you lol 8′)))
Good luck to everyone!
*The possibilities are, in fact, very much end-ful. They end sooner than you would think for a user who has played for two years.
i typo’d that and i am ashamed no one point it out to me omg
“As celebration to the opening of the coffee shop extension at ‘I Scream for Cake’ - I shall be offering out a ‘buy a hot drink, get one free’ deal. Welcome to I Scream for Coffee. What may I get you, sir/m’am?” He spoke loudly as he his shop door opened. “I also should advertise I have waitress and barista positions available.”