Vader: [text] ok kenobi wtf r u losers up to this time????????
Obi-Wan: Good morning to you too, Anakin.
Vader: ur best buddy bail fucking organa and his stupid friends and that SMARTMOUTH DAUGHTER OF HIS are up to SOMETHING and now i have to go to fucking SCARIF OK do u even KNOW how much i hate it there
Vader: i am not going anywhere NEAR the beach that is for DAMN sure
Obi-Wan: Wait…what’s happening??!
Vader: i WAS gonna get in a bacta soak
Vader: u know because MY BODY IS BROKEN U TELL ME WHY
Vader: but NOW i have to go haul my ass allllll the way over there instead
Obi-Wan: Anakin, please: WHO is on Scarif and why???
Vader: idk a bunch of rebel randoms r trying to steal some shit and now it’s a ~whole big thing~ LIKE I NEEDED THIS TODAY
Vader: aggggggggggggggghhhh FML
Obi-Wan: What happened???????????
Vader: FFS where do i even start
Vader: fucking krennic
Vader: i knew i should have choked that guy to death when i had the chance
Vader: I TOLD sheev we should have cut this stupid project from the budget years ago and bought a foosball table for my room instead
Vader: im so cold and tired and this job is so BORING no one is even hard to fight anymore like ffs give me a CHALLENGE for once its been YEARS
Obi-Wan: Anakin: WHAT HAPPENED????!!!! Who did you kill??
Vader: y r u so concerned about my day
Vader: usually ur all ‘shut up anakin i don’t wanna hear about all the murdering u did im obiwan and im the perrrrfect jedi i only murder people SOMETIMES’
Obi-Wan: 🙄 Well maybe I’m taking an interest in your life.
Vader: 😉 nice try babe.
Obi-Wan: Very well. Maybe I’ll see you soon enough. You never know.
Vader: k see ya 😘
Vader: wait what
(For @yuneyn and her love of both Rogue One and Texting Vader.) ;)