should be illegal to be that hot

Enunciate [m]

Smut  // How does one function upon knowing that their next door neighbour, Citrus134 (Kyungsoo) is the audio porn star of their dreams?

Follow up to Audiophile

So, what is the first thing you do when you’ve discovered that your new neighbour posts audio porn online? You lie back on your back and plug your earphones in then go through all of his audios…all of them. You listen to his breaths, laughs and groans over and over until they’re imprinted into your mind. that’s what you do.

Then you imagined him. You imagined his plump lips clamped between his teeth as he stifles a groan. You imagined his bare chest rising up and down as he tried to suck as much air as he could. You imagined his black hair sticking to his forehead after he spends 10 minutes edging.

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Wonho Smile Appreciation

(credit goes to the people who own these gifs and pictures)

can we all just take a hot second to appreciate Wonho’s smile. okok.

it is literally my favourite thing about him

like, damn boiii you shine so damn bright

it’s quite spectacular, isn’t it?

just look at him. are you seeing this?!!?

i’m honestly suing because he should be illegal.

god, i feel blessed.

what did this cruel world do to deserve such a thing…

so cute but sexy at the same time T-T

alright i’m out. i’m done. i’m deceased.

i’m certain this boy enjoys watching us suffer so..

adios amigos.


if you have any requests for other appreciation posts or you have ideas for fanfics/smuts, then my requests are open <3

In spanish we don’t say “Victor Nikiforov is hot” we say “Victor papasito Nikiforov, está tan bueno me lo como todito sin salsita ni nada. Ese culo tan bello no se lo resiste nadie. Ayy papi vos estas para chuparse los dedos asi de rico, me vuelves loca papito chulo" and I think that is beautiful

cheesy pick up lines pt 2.

“Aside from being sexy, what do you do for a living?”
“Sorry, I can’t hold on… I’ve already fallen for you.”
“Is your dad a drug dealer? Because you’re dope.”
“Know what’s on the menu? Me-n-u.”
“Kissing burns 5 calories a minute. How about a workout?”
“Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?”
“Can I borrow a kiss? I promise I’ll give it back.”
“Excuse me, if I go straight this way, will I be able to reach your heart?”
“You’re so hot you must’ve started global warming.”
“I may not be DQ, but I could treat you right.”
“Somebody call the cops, because it’s got to be illegal to look that good!”
“Are you from China? Because I’m China get your number.”
“Was your Dad in the Air Force? Because you’re da bomb.”
“If you were a library book, I would check you out.”
“Let’s make like a fabric softener and snuggle!”
“Are those space pants? Because your ass is out of this world!”
“If I followed you home, would you keep me?”
“Is your last name Gillette? Because you are the best a man can get.”
“A face without freckles is like a night sky without stars.”
“Do you know karate? Cause your body’s kickin!”
“I hope there’s a fireman around, cause you’re smokin’!”
“All those curves, and me with no brakes!”
“You’re so sweet, you’re giving me a toothache.”

Thanks everyone who joined the stream!
Thanks for the hilarious crack going around bout being dom or sub or such

something to agree upon

pairing: jamilton

word count: 1.4k

summary: it’s three am and the fire alarm in the apartment building goes off. Based on a text post I can’t find.


BEEP

BEEP

BEEEEP

BEEEEEEEEEP

Alex shoved his face further into his pillow trying to muffle the noise that was interrupting the rare rest he was finally getting. When the pillow wasn’t enough to muffle the incessant alarm going off Alex resigned himself to another restless night and swung his legs over the edge of the bed.

The fire alarm wasn’t an unfamiliar noise in this building. His neighbors were a reckless bunch. From John downstairs who loved wrecking shit to Laf next door who had a love of cooking but terrible execution. Alex knew it was no big deal and wasn’t exactly pressed to get out of his apartment. Hopefully if he dragged his feet long enough the alarm would stop before he made it out the front door and he could have some peace of mind.

Unfortunately that wasn’t the case. Even after spending three minutes looking for his pajama bottoms and another two looking for the matching top the alarm hasn’t ceased.

He nearly punched the wall seeing the elevators were automatically shut down by the alarms ringing and cursed the entire way down the four flights of stairs to the ground level of his apartment building.

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【 50% OFF STARTER MEME 】

This starter meme is completely based off of THIS starter meme right here, it’s just in a different format to accommodate players with multiple accounts as opposed to just one!! I take no credit for it and if you want to appreciate the content, give the blog a follow, please!!

  • “You can’t have sex with your neighbor’s backyard above-ground pool.”
  • “Let me help you out of that swimsuit– POOL.”
  • “I sure hope we become best friends! But I don’t hope we have a falling out, leading us to have a tense, emotion-heavy, dramatic, competitive, love/hate relationship later on.”
  • “So, anyways, I regain consciousness, there’s cops everywhere, (name) is covered in blood, got an ice-pick– haha, it was kind of a weird Tuesday.”
  • “We’re gonna be late for anime school!”
  • “I’m just saying, is it illegal if I’m in my OWN pool?”
  • “WHAT’S UP SLUTS?! GUESS WHO JUST GOT OUT OF PRISON?!”
  • “(name) WAS A BITCH-ASS POSER.”
  • “Oh no, he’s hot when he’s sad!”
  • “This reminds me of prison. This reminds me of prison. This DEFINITELY reminds me of prison.”
  • “Look at that little pimp. He’s gonna grow up to be a prison ass mothafucka.”
  • “Let’s skip all the fluff and get to the part where we’re shirtless.”
  • “Homeboy looks like shark week, I ain’t messin’ with that.”
  • “It wasn’t a dream! We got arrested for trespassing! We went to JAIL!”
  • “Nah, man, we went to holding. There’s a big difference.”
  • “Yeah now we owe Easter Dave a favor– that is NOT a position you wanna be in.”
  • “Wouldn’t we have seen him around by now? I mean he is a bipedal shark-person.”
  • “I’VE GOT MACE!”
  • “Was macing us really necessary AFTER you remembered who we were?!”
  • “You took the fall for me and I said thank you.”
  • “I went to jail!”
  • “I spent 6 months at a correctional facility!”
  • “I stabbed a girl in the yard!”
  • “I think that guard you killed had a family!”
  • “Look at that majestic ass mothafucka. Like a dolphin or some shit. A dolphin with legs… and arms… and a jet pack.”
  • “BITCH GET IN THE POOL!”
  • “That’s how they do it in Australia.”
  • “20 bucks on jabber jaws.”
  • “Hey, man did you TiVo Glee last night?”
  • “I’m not allowed to watch Glee, my dad says it might turn me into something bad. A musical theater major.”
  • “Neither one of them even died!”
  • “They won’t let me back into sewing club because apparently when I threaten someone with sewing needles it’s deemed ‘inappropriate’ and I 'have to leave’.”
  • “I have to tumblr this!”
  • “A guy with emotional issues who swims away his problems? Lady, that’s the whole team, you’re gonna have to be more specific.”
  • “I ship them! And them!”
  • “They hate each other, but they also fuck each other!“
  • “Hey, we try not to get this part of the gym wet so whatever you’re doing is gonna have to stop.”
  • “So do you wanna come back to my place, listen to some Dave Matthews, and talk about my work out routine?”
  • “I wonder if that stuff I hid is still here? … Nah, cops probably took it.”
  • “Do you know? Do you know for sure? Because I don’t need another incident.”
  • “If I get out of this chair, I guarantee you’ll end up in one with wheels.”
  • “Okay. I’ll admit, I’m a little threatened.”
  • “‘Sup bitches!~”
  • “Aren’t you that guy who drowned a kid? And burned down that building?”
  • “Get back to it before you learn a lesson in post-war, urban torture practices.”
  • “Remember, snitches get stitches!”
  • “Shut up, you’re high as balls!”
  • “You’re just mad because mom and dad thought you were a girl for the first year of your life.”
  • “Right, son. And speaking of crushing disappointments—”
  • “Coach tried to get me to vandalize a police station again.”
  • “Good thing I wore my Heelies.”
  • “He’s so hot but so crazy! Which makes him even MORE hot!”
  • “Come on, let me get those digits baby!”
  • “It should be illegal to be that fine!”
  • “Oh, just basic addition and subtraction. He was subtracting from my profits so I’m going to add a few extra holes in him.”
  • “This doesn’t seem like the time for polka-renditions of Ke$ha songs.”
  • “I hate it when you leave but I love watching you go.”
  • “Yeah, I’ve seen him. He’s in my scrapbook class. He cuts the eyes out of magazine photos.”
  • “Your arrest record is extensive… and amateur.”
  • “The fact that you continue to avoid indefinite incarceration is insanity AND THE FACT THAT OUR LAW ENFORCEMENT CAN’T PUT AWAY SOMEONE WITH SUCH BLATANT DISREGARD FOR CONVENTIONAL CRIMINAL FUNCTION BAFFLES THE MIND.”
  • “I want that boy to be my bride!”
  • “Pilates will do that, man, works your core.”
  • “What are we waiting for? Let’s go bro! Let’s g’bro!”
  • “Wow, you sure said that.“
  • “WOOP! WOOP! Hold it, I’m gonna have to pull you over for exceeding recommended hotness.”
  • “One time, we went camping in the woods, I just left 'em there. Nobody found them for like 5 days. I don’t even think their families cared, kinda sad, really.”
  • “So, what you’re saying is, if they disappeared, no one would notice?”
  • “Well I’ve gotta go not talk to you anymore.”
  • “I learned how to swim the old fashioned way. When I was five my dad took me out to a lake and tossed me right in the water.”
  • “I’m so happy right now! — And it’s not just ‘cause I get to see you in a bunch of different swimsuits. Okay, I lied, I’m sorry, that’s mostly the reason.”
  • “SHE’S A WITCH! PUSH HER IN THE POOL!”
  • “Hey, I know you! You helped me smuggle some stuff out of the country! How’ve you been, kid?”

zarkyus  asked:

Undyne asks how sans gets money to pay the big house.So the sentry job doesnt pay enough, maybe neither undyne's royal captain job pays enough for that Paps says its a mystery. Paps may know or not I think its sans judge job that makes him afford enough (besides some money sans gets with his other jobs of hot dog seller and so on) What u think? Did asgore employed sans has the judge and it pays so well? Or is sans kinda "self" employed as judge? Hows sans getting the money for the big house?

(undertale spoilers)

Nothing in game supports the idea that being “the judge” is a job for Sans. Not only is there no mention of any “judge” position, but the position really doesn’t make sense for anyone but Frisk. Judging Frisk before they meet Asgore is to steer Frisk in the right direction, considering Frisk’s actions “will determine the fate of the entire world.” It’s unlikely that Asgore pays Sans to do this, especially with how few humans have fallen down in the underground.

So what jobs does Sans have? First, he is a sentry, and he has four stations. This is actually something Undyne is not aware of.

Although Undyne is Papyrus’ boss, and thus should be Sans’ boss as well, this doesn’t necessarily mean she is in charge of the hiring or paychecks.

Second, Sans sells hot dogs at his “illegal” hot dog stand. 

Third, Sans performs at the MTT Resort restaurant.

There’s no way to know exactly how much money he makes off all these jobs, but it’s clear he has many jobs to support himself and Papyrus.