shotgun beer

Since the Dadquisition post is taking off, I feel like I should put in “Dad Age: Origins”

Oghren is “better at braiding hair than all the parents of your classmates combined, once successfully built a deck while shotgunning beers (how?!?), saw you through the worst of your anime phase and validated your interests and ended up watching anime himself,” Dad.

Sten is “responded with ‘Obviously’ when you came out to him, primarily expresses affection and concern via copious baking, gave you a single thumbs-up when you were in the school play and you never felt more proud in your life,” Dad.

Zevran is “sang to you a LOT when you were a baby and still kind of mindlessly sings when you’re in the same room, always says ‘who’s that? They were cute’ when he picks you up from school and sees you talking to someone, taught you to swim when you still didn’t have walking 100% down yet, slips between two different languages while lecturing you,” Dad.

Alistair is “kept falling asleep while reading to you and your siblings, accidentally calls you by your siblings’ (And occasionally the dog’s) names, cheers louder than anyone else at your softball games, ‘breakfast-for-dinner,’” Dad. 

MBTI types stealing

INFP: Steals a book. The guilt eats away at them until they wake up at midnight and leave the book outside the bookstore with $20 and a tearful apology note. 

INFJ: Steals a book. The guilt eats away at them silently, and their friends notice they are always clutching their heart. 7 years later, INFJ confesses to their sin and rips open their shirt, revealing an “A” carved into their chest, before dying as a martyr for human inadequacy. The “A” stands for “asshole,” they say.

ENFP: Steals a book because Kerouac would approve!

ISFJ: “I would never.” Gets in with the wrong crowd and participates in teenage stealing shenanigans. ISFJ, naturally, is the only one who gets caught.

ESTP: Is the bad influence friend. Is perfectly happy guzzling the stolen beer until they realize something isn’t right. Proceeds to break ISFJ out of jail and teach them how to shotgun a beer in the moonlight. <3 

ENTP: Makes plan to steal THE MOON. Enters wrong shipping address when ordering rocket parts from amazon. By the time they realize the parts never came, they’re already over it.

INTJ: Steals ENTP’s plans, successfully steals the moon, caught after running into a poll when fleeing police.

ESTJ: Is the police. Steals a donut from Bob in accounting because that guy is an asshole. Also they were hungry.

ISTP: Steals the donut from ESTJ’s mouth. How did they do it???

ESFJ: Steals underwear from Victoria’s Secret. Is caught on the way out of the store, but talks their way into getting off punishment free with the underwear as a free gift for their trouble.

ENTJ: Steals control of the nation. When did ENTJ become Supreme Leader again? People aren’t sure. Hasn’t it always been that way? 

ESFP: Steals your heart and loses it a few days later. At least they found their car keys!

ISFP: Steals your heart and proceeds to break it. Unfortunately for you, there are no returns on damaged goods.

ENFJ: Steals your identity. After a few weeks of knowing them, you notice ENFJ has adopted your mannerisms and chameleoned themself to your personality. They just want to be the best friend they can be, they explain.

INTP: Steals a first edition Avengers comic, not because they don’t have the money, but because they’re too lazy to walk to the register. 

ISTJ: “WHY DOES EVERYONE KEEP STEALING FROM ME???”

That’s the seven-story ConAgra grain mill, and it was detonated by 7-year-old Make-A-Wish kid named Max. Make-A-Wish flew Max and his family from California to the small town of Huron, Ohio, just so he could push the big, red button. And that was only the culmination of days filled with explosive fun, because Max also prepared for the demolition by watching tons of videos of buildings being destroyed, helped place the dynamite into the building’s support columns, and even got to take the local bomb squad’s remote-controlled robot for a spin, yelling, “Fire in the hole!” before remotely shotgunning a root beer bottle.

About 30,000 locals showed up to watch the explosion, because what else is there to do in Huron, Ohio? Oh, and apparently some believe that the ConAgra building was haunted, so it’s possible that meddling Max blew up a ghost.

When Sick Kids Who Don’t Give A F#@% Get A Make-A-Wish Wish

10

079 Shotgun Dave Rides East (2003)

Another missing project can be marked FOUND thanks to kitt66 who made it possible!  All hail kitt66!

This is a short that clocks in a eight minutes plus another ninety seconds of outtakes (keep watching past the end credits.)  As is often the case with the shorts, because Peter is a (or the) main character he actually gets more (and better) screen time than in many of the full length films he’s been in. 

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Doesn’t Ian miss Mickey at all?

Doesn’t he miss the loud voice or the smart remarks or the million and one ways to say the word fuck or those blue eyes or the way he always sleeps on his stomach or shotgunning beer or even just talking to him?

I mean, I miss Mickey so much and I wasn’t even in love with the guy like Ian was so I mean what the hell