short programm

Please do not forget that Yuzuru Hanyu is an actual, real person who deserves to be seen as such and not just as a reference to your favourite anime, especially now after he won the world cup for the second time. This goes for every other figure skater too btw. It’s okay if Yuri on Ice got you into figure skating or whatever, but Yuzuru Hanyu is not Yuri and he should be known and appreciated for the fact that he is an outstanding figure skater and not for the comments on his performances saying that he is definately Yuri. Thank you.


Yuzuru Hanyu at an interview after his FS:

“After the short programme, I was extremely disappointed. To the extent that I was almost unable to get back up to my feet. Despite that, the trust entrusted to me by my team and skating fans was everything that made my performance today.”

After the short programme, I too was really sad. Not because of the placing but more out of concern for Yuzuru.

Like how he would cry in his hotel room. Like how he would blame himself over and over again last year during WC – I simply couldn’t bear to visualise how painful he must have looked when all of us are not watching.

His face when his FS scores came out – the joy of the present and bitterness from the past – is simply heart-wrenching.

kazliin  asked:

Trick or treat 🎃

so i’m going to take a brief break from horror movies for this tiny au

Yuuri has grown up in the shadow of his pedestal all of his life. Every figure skater has. Viktor Nikiforov, a legend on the ice, a pioneer who had changed the face of figure skating forever. 

Viktor Nikiforov is now standing in the living room of his tiny Detroit apartment with wide, appreciative eyes and flushed cheeks, and Yuuri can’t help but notice how thickly-accented his English is, not to mention his clearly out-of-date clothes. Viktor Nikiforov tosses the snow from his hair with a shake of his head and demurs about his ‘little tricks’, insisting that he’s first and foremost a jeweller like his father and his grandfather. 

(A jeweller and a silversmith, of course, because he had been the one to create the blade of the figure skate in the shape it is today, and he had used his new invention to beautiful, history-making ways. Yuuri knows all of this, of course, but he doesn’t say a thing.)

Viktor is captivated by Detroit, by the cars and the phone in Yuuri’s pocket (”You can send messages and listen to the voices of people on the other side of the world?”) and the beautifully intense new form of figure skating. This last thing has him wide-eyed and applauding as Yuuri runs through his short programme for the upcoming season, and Yuuri flushes all the harder under Viktor’s fascinated gaze. 

“I don’t even know half of the terms you’re pulling on me,” he admits, and Yuuri laughs, launching into a beautiful step sequence – his favourite, of course, because it is stroke-for-stroke the intricate pattern Viktor had traced for the nobles of Saint Petersburg in the pond at Yusupov Gardens. 

“They call this the Nikiforov Star now,” he says, and Viktor’s gaze goes a little downcast.

Viktor vanishes at the end of every night, of course, and can only appear once a week for the span of twenty-four hours, but those twenty-four hours once a week are both not enough and more than expected all rolled into one. Yuuri introduces him to Detroit piece by piece, showing him his favourite restaurants, the rink, interesting historical landmarks. He talks about Hasetsu, and watches the contemplative downturn of Viktor’s eyes when he misses Saint Petersburg. 

He gets that way, too, during the times they spend apart. At least to Phichit, he pretends it’s because he’s a bit of a history nerd who’s looking forward to talking to a new primary source. Phichit buys that, of course. 

(Phichit, bless his heart, has had more close-calls with Yuuri’s new ‘primary source’ than he can ever fathom.)

Yuuri almost wishes he didn’t. Almost wishes Phichit could have pried, so that Yuuri could share aloud the possibility that he might be falling for a man who should have died a century ago. 


Yuzuru’s post-FP interview at Worlds 2017 (a short one;  there will probably be many longer interviews from tomorrow):
(Somewhere between 4’30” to 5’15” of the video) 

Yuzuru: “There is no other competition in which the term happiness fits so well.
(While performing the FP) I had the feeling as if I was being absorbed into the music. I was feeling challenged while skating and it was hard, but I was happy at the same time.
I think there won’t be any other competition like this one, or rather I hope there will be none, as it was such a hard competition.
However, if I may say, everyone had a bit of inattentiveness thanks to which I was able to catch up even from the mistake I made in the short programme. So I think I will have to train even harder so that I won’t create any careless mistake in the future.”

(translation by Sophie Moroi in YHIFG, FB)

CONGRATS ON THE GOLD MEDAL, YUZU!!!!  I’m so happy I won’t be able to sleep tonight!!! (It’s already 4am, haha!)

anonymous asked:

Hey, I'm a new fan (your blog is very helpful to me!) and I'm trying to figure out why 14/15 season is considered such a bad season for Yuzu. I know about CoC but that was just one comp in the beginning of the season... and he did not upgrade his layout that season?... why? Could you enlighten me a bit?

Oh anon, oh anon, where to start?

Just say, if you are a new fan and you missed 14/15 season live you should count yourself lucky.

Season started with a withdrawal from Finlandia Trophy. Nothing too much worrying, just back pain probably due to a too full off-season.

Then we had Cup of Disaster and the crash with Han Yan. Let’s go through it in his own words:

“My stomach hit the ice (when I fell) and so it felt like I received a body blow. My stomach was so painful, I could not breathe and I could not get up. Then, when I tried standing up, my chin was hurting and bleeding. My head was panicking and I didn’t know exactly where all the pain was coming from.”


“When the 6-min warm-up started again, above my left knee, the sartorius muscle was really painful. I tried jumping the loop and I could somehow do it. But when I did the lutz, it was so painful, I thought ‘yabai’ (t/n. here it can mean ‘dangerous’ or ‘terrible’ or 'crap’). The axel was painful and really hard but I was standing. Quad toeloop I had a hand down and step-out, the quad salchow I rotated and fell. So I thought 'it’s alright, even though it’s painful, if I think JUMP, I can jump!’
But 'the quad toe in the 2nd half would be impossible, what should I do (to replace it)’ and immediately I thought, 'Lutz, I will jump the lutz twice.’ 'I can just go back to the same layout as last season.’
With the remaining time, I tried out that path. When the 6-min warm-up ended, I immediately told Brian, 'I will do the lutz today.’ And he responded with something like, 'Yes, I know.’
Maybe my adrenaline was fully gushing out. Even though it was very painful, just skate to the end somehow, I thought.”


“After my performance, the American doctors had prepared the things needed to do stitches for me in the massage room of the venue. With anaesthetics, my chin received 7 stitches. There was also a cut on my head, and that part received 3 staples without anaesthesia. The staples were really painful! That night, my chin and my head and my leg and my stomach were hurting so much; the next day, I took the plane back to Japan for a medical examination, it was hell. (wry smile)
The plan to return to Toronto was changed and he returned to Japan. In the hospital in Japan, the results of the medical examination was 'head contusion (or bruise), chin contusion, abdominal contusion, left thigh contusion, right ankle sprain’, 2 to 3 weeks needed for full recovery.

(Translation thanks to @yuzusorbet)

3 weeks after Cup of Disaster, and just few days after he started again to practice, NHK came up.

After Cup of China, a week later, the pain was still there; I could not walk for about 10 days. When I was able walk a little, I tried going onto the ice. It was too painful and I thought, NHK Trophy is surely impossible.”
In the end, the final decision was made after entering the venue for NHK Trophy


Without having been on the ice the way he had wanted, facing the competition, he had no choice but to change the layout that he was aiming for this season.
After somehow qualifying for GPF, he started to train again 100%, but his conditions and the little time didn’t allow for any layout change.

In Barcelona, somewhen after SP he started feeling pain again, this time to his abdomen:

But after the short programme, my stomach started to have some pain. When I press or stretch, it’s heavy, painful, a muscle ache kind of pain. So I thought, 'Is there some damage to the muscle tissue?’ But when I finished the free skate, there was lump below my navel, like a pingpong ball, 'how strange’ I thought. After I boarded the plane, my navel swelled up.   During the flight, it was so painful that I could not sleep.  I went straight to the hospital for a check and was told it could be ‘Urachal Remnant’.  Because the symptoms were not that bad yet, I was given antibiotics. With that, I returned home to Sendai. Then, before I had a bath, I saw that my navel had become a bulging lump. And after about 5 minutes, it burst!  A lot of blood and pus gushed out.


That’s why, the period going towards Japan Championships was the same as the period before NHK Trophy, I didn’t know if I could skate. I went to the hospital and was told it’s Urachal Remnant Disorder and surgery is needed. But because I have Japan Championships, I could not have the surgery anytime soon. 'If I can bear with it, I will go for nationals,’ I thought. It was not necessary to tell people about the urachal remnant, and also it was not relevant, I wanted to go for nationals. But it was painful to bend forward and backward.


The wound was covered by gauze but blood kept oozing out and it got onto my clothes every time. To prevent it from staining my costume, on top of the gauze, the tape used was not normal tape but the kind that’s for taping. The gauze also chafed. It was painful.”
The urachus connects the navel and the bladder in the fetal period;  the urachal remnant started to fester and the disorder worsened but only a few people around him knew about this.

As you see, once again to change layout to the original one was impossible.
He won Nationals. The next day he withdrew from Gala and was admitted in hospital instead.

“Pus was oozing out continuously.  I thought, 'after nationals, I will have the surgery immediately. If not, I won’t be in time for World Championships.’  I was told that I can’t move for 2 months after the surgery.”

(Just because I feel the need of you to read a bit of horror story more):

“For the epidural anaesthesia, a catheter was inserted in my back; the alcohol used for disinfection was strong and I reacted to it/ developed a rash. After surgery, my back was itching and itching. In the stomach area, there was also a tube to drain the blood so that it does not accumulate. This was pierced through my navel and it was extremely painful. Ah~, it hurts now when I think of it. I also could not turn over. It was hard. Then later, I was injected with antibiotics and I had an allergic reaction; my whole body broke out in hives (urticaria). Really, all sorts of things happened. But thankfully, now half a year has passed and I am fine.”

(Translation again thanks to @yuzusorbet)

He spent New Year in hospital. Some weeks later he was back in Sendai.

He wasn’t supposed to train for quite a while, but by the end of January it was reported he was back on ice.

Too soon, not ready, he twisted his ankle soon after. He had to take other weeks off and his recovery was delayed once again.

Up till Worlds there were contradicting news about his partecipation. He didn’t return to Toronto, he remained in Japan training alone in Sendai. To upgrade his layouts to the supposed versions (3A // 4T 3Lz3T and 4S 4T 3F // 4T3T 3A2T 3Alo3S 3Lo 3Lz) was impossible.

During Worlds time, it was reported he was still suffering from an infection to his abdomen (reports were not clear, tho) and for sure he did worsen his recovery by trying alternative methods (like trying to cut off his stitches with scissors, because they… itched. Itched.). He skated at that WC on a very tentative condition, he had some issue still at “contracting” his abdominal muscles to push rotation. And it’s not by chance that after such a season, with so many troubles, he decided to skate to Parisienne Walkaways during WTT Gala

In short, that’s what happened in 2014/15 season. That’s the reason he didn’t upgrade his layout from the previous one and that’s the reason 2014/15 is considered a nightmare season by many fans.

Fes Matsu San ‘16 Programme Translation Part 2: Short Story

Might be slightly NSFW after the break due to Osomatsu’s comments (reminiscent of episode 22)

Original short story by Matsubara Shuu

Osomatsu: Oi! Get over here everyone! Our event is finally going to take place! This is no time for talking about selfish stuff like getting a job or living on your own. Now more than ever, we need to combine our powers.

Jyushimatsu: Ehhhh! We’ve been chosen for the invitational?

Choromatsu: This isn’t the invitational. It’s an event.

Jyushimatsu: For baseball?

Choromatsu: For the anime!

Ichimatsu: What are we doing getting together like idiots after all that. We died in episode 25, right? Is this a funeral?

Choromatsu: There’s no way they’d hold something like a funeral at the Makuhari Messe!

Karamatsu: Heh, it seems like the time has finally come for me to put on my solo Budokan concert.

Choromatsu: Nobody wants that! And this is Makuhari!

Todomatsu: Heehee, this is great! An event for us at such a big place! A lot of girls are sure to come! Eeek!

Keep reading


(or; his eyes are puddles and coffee cups)

An Otayuri Fic (Colour-based Soulmate AU)


It comes after he meets Otabek Altin for the first time; and it’s the colour of his coffee the morning of his record-breaking short programme. Watching the drop of cream swirl in to the dark roast; varying shades of brown distract him from the rest of his breakfast.

Yuri is mesmerised.

Read it here.

“Ah,” Yuuri says. They’re near the TVs, JJ’s performance broadcasting. “Mari’s calling. I’ll be right back.”

Viktor nods, letting go of Yuuri’s shoulder for the first time in a while; he hadn’t noticed he was holding onto Yuuri until he made to leave. Is he clingy? He might be clingy. The space at his side loses heat as he watches JJ’s short programme with a critical eye, cataloguing movements, similarities to other skaters. A glance at Yuuri’s back shows only high shoulders, his posture sheltering the phone from the noise.

A tiny coil of dread unfurls in Viktor’s stomach. Habit, maybe; he doesn’t like it when Yuuri adopts that posture, cut off from the people in the room. He turns back to JJ, but the programme is finishing. There’s nothing there to help Yuuri, anyway; JJ has a different appeal.

Or rather, Yuuri has appeal. Viktor wonders if he’s biased. He looks at Yuuri again, and now Yuuri is turning to face him, phone still clutched in his hand.

“Viktor—you have to go back to Japan. I’ll face the free skate alone.”

Chapter 8 and Chapter 9 of A Choreographer’s Dilemma are posted! Illustration by @silencedmoment ❤️

icanhinatashouyoutheworld  asked:

hey lily (・ω・)ノ pls may I request: busker Victor and regular commuter Yuuri? Much 💜

kaaaash! i apologise in advance if this goes up past your birthday 😭😭😭

The first time Yuuri hears the man, he is strumming a guitar in the subway station by the rink, layering his dulcet baritone voice with blues chords that linger in Yuuri’s mind long after he’s gotten on the outbound train for his apartment.

The man seems well-versed in guitar, his eyes downcast as he loses himself in the music. The pieces he usually plays are mostly covers, of course, but sometimes something unfamiliar crops up, and Yuuri wonders if those are his own compositions. He never quite finds the opportunity to ask, though – he’d hate to bother him while he’s performing, and then the train comes, and he has to leave. 

Yuuri doesn’t see him every day. His practices don’t always end during the man’s performance times, but when they do, it’s a treat for him to head down to the platform and listen to the man for the three minutes or so it takes for the train to arrive. He tries to tip whenever he can, which usually earns him a bright, heart-shaped smile, and a subsequent skip in his own heartbeat.

One night, Yuuri is rushing into the subway near midnight after a late practice. The night services always have a longer wait between trains, and he’s already bone-weary from his gruelling practice that night. His first Grand Prix event of the season is coming up – Skate Canada – and he has been trying desperately to polish up the jumps in his programmes. If only landing a quad Sal wasn’t eluding him most of the time during practice…

He nudges through the turnstile, heads down the stairs, and that’s when he hears the guitar. It must be the man – there’s no mistaking that sweet voice as it croons silly love songs. But this is unusually late for him.

Yuuri arrives on the platform. Sure enough, the man is there, strumming at something that sounds like an original composition. Yuuri takes out some spare change from his wallet, heads over, and drops it in the man’s open guitar case.

The man smiles at him. Yuuri nods, feeling his face heat up, and takes a step back towards the platform edge. With a flourish, the man hits his last chord, and Yuuri claps.

“Thank you,” says the man with a little bow.

Yuuri smiles. “I don’t usually see you here this late,” he remarks.

“I…” The man’s cheeks tint a little pink. “Wanted to try out a different time. I’m liking this one – people stay to listen a little longer!”

“Yeah,” says Yuuri, shoving his hands in his pockets and feeling the weight of his backpack on his shoulders. His skates are tucked in here, somewhere. “Things ended late tonight.”

“Things?” wonders the man. “What sort of things do you do?”

“Skating,” says Yuuri.

The man’s grin broadens. “Really! I’ve always wanted to try that!”

“We could – you could go during public skate,” Yuuri points out.

The man nods. “I suppose,” he says, and then extends a hand. “Viktor Nikiforov.”

Yuuri shakes it with a smile. “Yuuri Katuski,” he replies. Viktor beams.

“Thank you for your support!” he says, gesturing to the case. “Do you have any requests?”

Yuuri hums. “How about something from you? A personal composition?”

Viktor’s eyes sparkle at that as he begins to play a couple chord progressions. Yuuri watches, intrigued, as the progression transforms into a song. There is no melody with lyrics, and yet somehow Yuuri feels it. Feels the song in the way Viktor’s brow crinkles, in the way his hands fly across the strings, in the sharp, passionate melodies that Viktor teases out from the instrument.

When Viktor finishes, the train arrives. Yuuri is mid-clap when the doors swing open. “I’ve got to go,” he says, because if he misses this one, he’ll have to wait ten minutes. 

But those could be ten minutes with Viktor.

But you’re exhausted, his body reminds him. 

Yuuri looks at the open doors. Looks at Viktor’s cheerful smile.

“I’ll see you around?” he asks, a little regretfully. 

Viktor reaches into his pocket, pulls out a card with a smile. “Definitely,” he says. Yuuri’s hands tremble a little in the brief brush of their fingers, and then he is pulling away, darting into the compartment just before the doors slide closed, and the train pulls away from the platform. 

Yuuri watches as the platform disappears into the darkness of the subway, and then takes out the card, smiling at the number on it.

By the time the train reaches the next station, the number is in Yuuri’s mobile.

From: Viktor
when’s your next practice?

To: Viktor
7-9am why?

From: Viktor
i got something for you

Yuuri’s heart is almost in his throat the next time he steps onto the platform by the rink. He can see, through the morning mass of commuters, the silvery hair of Viktor somewhere against the back wall. 

The doors slide open, and Yuuri is greeted with the music. His jaw drops a little at the sound.

It’s his short programme music, and Viktor is nailing it.

Yuuri hurriedly jostles his way onto the platform, towards Viktor. He stops just in front of the case, fumbles for his wallet, and puts a twenty dollar bill into the case.

Viktor blinks up at him at that. “Oh! That’s quite a lot,” he remarks, his voice as stunned as his expression.

“I – Wow.” Yuuri’s face is on fire. He wants to melt into the cracks of the tile-and-concrete floor. He has a sudden urge to backtrack over the edge of the platform. He smiles instead. “It’s beautiful,” he says after a moment. “I like it better than the original.”

Viktor chuckles, takes out the twenty from the case, hands it back. “You’re probably going to want that,” he says, “for when we go out to lunch.”

“Lunch?” echoes Yuuri. It’s his turn to blink confusedly. “Viktor –”

“I mean, unless you don’t –” Viktor cuts off, visibly deflating. “Sorry, I – “

Yuuri looks down at his phone. He’s late for practice. “I’d love to do lunch,” he says, “but I’m running late. I’ll text you about where to meet, then.”

Viktor’s expression is etched with relief. “Oh, good,” he breathes. “I’ll look for that, then.”

Yuuri nods, and puts the twenty back into the case. “You’ll want it,” he insists, “for lunch.”

And Viktor’s laugh, bright and beautiful, follows him up the stairs and out of the subway. 

anonymous asked:

Something I've always wondered about: When Yuuri is staying with Viktor in Moscow, what happens after the free skate? Does he leave immediately after? From the story, it sounds like they only have sex and spend the night together after the short programme, but wouldn't Yuuri have to stay at least one more night, possibly two, as there's an exhibition gala and banquet the day after the FS? (For some reason, I can't get this out of my head.) Thank you for your writing & patience!

The chapter ends after the medal ceremony but Yuuri actually does spend another night after that. They don’t sleep together again because he’s tired after skating and got stuff to do the next day but they do pretty much cuddle in bed that night (even though Yuuri doesn’t admit to himself that it’s cuddling and reasons it away)

Ok so the short programme may be a little disheartening but hey, it’s yuzuru hanyu we are talking about here.

I have no idea how the free skate will turn out but all I can do now is to trust Yuzuru.

That’s his routine after all.

p.s. I’m not able to give timely updates on the programmes sorry guys >.< work and shit got me

So I had a dream about a story line in Season 2 of YOI

I had a dream. Picture this.

Viktor is starting to get annoyed at Yuuri because he wants to do a certain song about fighting for love but Viktor thinks he should come off the theme of love. Viktor is struggling because of training and Yakov had been particularly hard on him seeing as he left the previous season.

But Yuuri is being stubborn because he thinks its important to follow his instincts. He does as Victor says and backs off for a while because Viktor collapses in training due to exhaustion. The season goes on

Then the final cup takes them to America. Viktor has been doing well and so has Yuuri (apart for some probable set backs) and they are seen being very loving at competitions. Unfortunately there has been some speculation about Otabek and Yurio too and Yurio is the victim of some homophobic teasing from a new and rising skater which Yuuri overhears and he gets angry, when the skater then calls Yuuri out too Victor and Yakov come back into the room. Viktor and Yakov shut it down quickly and brutally getting said skater disqualified.

Yuuri’s and Victor’s short programmes go well but Yuuri asks him again about the programme he has been coming up with it alone for his free skate. Viktor yells at Yuuri for going behind his back and ignoring him completely and Yuuri yells back because “What about surprising people?” They argue. Yuuri ends up leaving the hotel room and wandering the streets alone upset.

However while wandering the streets the jealous homophobic disqualified skater follows Yuuri and attacks him, beating him until Otabek and Yurio discover them and chase the attacker away.

Viktor feels awful when he is called to the hospital but luckily Otayuri got there quick and its just a bandaged head and some facial bruising. (Can we talk about some Otayuri and Viktuuri bonding though.)

Viktor tells Yuuri he will withdraw from the competition to stay by his side but Yuuri urges him to go. They kiss and make up.

Viktor does his free skate. He nearly fucks it all up but when Yurio shouts “For the piggy! You moron! For the piggy!” from the sidelines he finishes it off and its incredible and emotional. He comes off the ice and moves into first.

It is then announced there’s a later entry from Yuuri Katsuki. And Yuuri appears at the sidelines in his costume. Viktor sees him and begs him not to skate and hurt himself further.

Yuuri simply says. “Nothing will stop me, not your love or their hate or anything in between. You taught me to fight Viktor. Let me fight for us.”
Viktor is touched as fuck and incredibly proud and kisses him and lets him on the ice. But when the music starts its the music from the free skate YUURI choreographed.
Viktor smirks. But he’s never seen this skate before. In my dream it was to the song. “Secret Love Song.” by Little Mix and Jason Derulo. I don’t know why. But it was INCREDIBLE and this boy is fucking skating for his life and his love, bruises on clear show and his technical and presentation are above and beyond and he’s so determined and its all so fucking emotional.

The other skaters and Viktor stand by the side all in awe of this boy and I ends to a amazing reception. Yuuri is tired as fuck and falls to the gorund panting and crying but smiling. Viktor skates back onto the ice and greets him with another kiss and carries an exhausted Yuuri off.

When the scores are in Yuuri obliterated even Viktor even when Viktor beat his own record.
The scores in my dream were Yuuri took gold, Viktor takes Silver and Yurio and Otabek are joint third though I know that would never happen.
The skater is caught and apprehended. Then comes the banquet where they all get drunk and act silly.

But yes…that is my storyline.

Katsuki Yuuri’s favourite move the triple axel and self-expression

Welcome to my first attempt of YOI meta-writing - this meta draws attention to Yuuri’s “favourite move” the triple axel, and his growth in mental strength and self-expression. Even half-dedicated fans are aware that Victor’s signature move is the quadruple flip as it’s been remarked several times in the series, Yuuri’s attempts of the quad flip signifies his blossoming relationship with his coach, soulmate and fiance Victor Nikiforov. This meta is about his performance of the triple axel, which in a way is to Yuuri the quad flip is to Victor. His performance of this jump correlates to his growing confidence in self-expression and assertion. Please be prepared that this won’t be a short meta, elaboration with screen maps from the show will be under the cut. Ready? On we go.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Something I liked about blackbird was the fact that Yuuri wasnt the almost virgin/inexperienced one. I wish other authors would reverse the roles more often too.

Anon, let me tell you, my fannish output is so heavily motivated by spite it’s not even funny. If there’s a widely held fanon that I disagree with, I will end up making a point to include the most opposite version possible in as many of my fics as possible. I don’t even have to disagree with it that strongly, if it’s everywhere enough to irritate me then the spite gears start grinding.

I mean I came out of the show assuming that Victor was pretty inexperienced, given his hilariously bad flirting, but after so much exposure to uber-suave and experienced Victor in fic, awkward dweeb Victor who hasn’t had a boyfriend since he was about 20 has risen from the earth to become a mighty death hill. And Yuuri emotionally destroying a bunch of previous hookups or even actual boyfriends because he is such an anxious, self-involved jerk is so fucking hilarious to me.

And I mean come on, Yuuri skates a whole short programme about how much he wants to bang Victor, he’s not some kind of uwu blushing cinnamon roll virgin who doesn’t know how his dick works.