Survival Starters

“It’s getting dark, we have to find shelter.”
“If we don’t soon find food we’re going to starve to death, even before we get a chance to freeze.”
“You collect branches and I’ll try to hunt for some food…”
“Whatever you do, don’t lose your way back here.”
“Let me look at that. Fuck, that looks painful… we need to find something against the infection.”
“I need to clean the wound. I’m sorry I don’t have anything to numb the pain. Bite down on something, that should help a bit.”
“I can’t feel my feet.”
“I’ve never been this cold in my life… We can’t survive this, can we?”
“It’s been three days since we last saw land… and we’re running low on food.”
“Stop screaming! No one can hear us, you’re just wearing yourself out like this!”
“I don’t know if this is edible, but it’s the only thing I could find.”
“I’m in too much pain. I can’t make it, I’m just holding you back. You need to let me go.”
“If you can’t keep walking, I’m going to have to leave you behind… you know that.”
“What if nobody ever finds us here.”
“I guess we’re lucky the ship sunk close to shore, but why the fuck does it need to be a desert island?!”
“Of all people to get stuck on an island with… Why did it have to be you?”
“There should be a river nearby we can wash in.”
“I can barely remember what food used to taste like…”
“Are you alright? You passed out before. We need to find you something to eat.”
“We need to find shelter. We can continue in the morning when it’s light again.”
“Tell me you have the faintest idea which plants are edible.”
“Just keep talking to me, you’ll be okay. Let me treat your wound.”
“How long have you been sitting here?! Do you WANT to get a heatstroke?”
“What do you miss the most?”
“It can take months for a ship to sail by and even then it’s unlikely they’ll notice us.”
“I’m going insane. There’s water. Water everywhere. I can’t fucking do this anymore.”
“You need to stay in the shade, you’re already sunburned as it is.”
“What was that noise…?”
“Can we please stop arguing? We need to work together if we want to survive.”
“We are the only two people on this entire island, why are we fighting?!”
“We’re the only ones who made it ashore… My name’s [NAME]. Nice to meet you…”
“Any idea how to make a fire?”
“I wish I’d died in that shipwreck… This is torture.”
“On the bright side, at least we’re not alone.”
“Whatever you do… don’t think about pizza.”
“How long do you reckon we can survive for? A couple of days? Weeks? Months?”
“I miss my home. I’m starting to forget what it felt like to sleep in a bed.”
“I hope someone thought about my dog/cat…”
“What are we going to do when one of us dies…?”
“Don’t eat any of that food. I’m going to be sick… I don’t think it’s edible!”

My theory is entropy.
This isn’t supposed to make sense.

That’s the only way I can find to explain you. Explain that I am…
While you remain safely on the shore, wondering why I’m all wet

Some stories just don’t have endings–the dissipation of matter beyond its present state, expanding further and further into the far reaches of the unvierse.

I can’t figure this out. I can’t figure out why I can feel all of this, can feel my very atoms being rearranged into loving you, and not be loved back.

I can’t figure out why I’m getting torn apart by the very force that holds humanity together.
How is it that I can go through so much in life, and I am defined by my capability to feel this kind of pain? How is it that I could tell any story, but this is the only one I can’t stop telling?
I know I am contributing to the flux of the universe,
with every broken line.

I am matter, I matter,
my mass
is equal to
the weight of the words you say,
the ones I write
My volume is
the sound of my heart breaking.

entropy–How you have undone me,

—  Entropy (II)

some guy was like “oh that really reminds me of that one chick from batman the one with the plants.. uh..” while pointing out the flower wreath thing i was wearing the other day and was like “yeah!!! her!! really diggin the vibe” and like all i was doing is wearing some flowers and leaves/vines on my head/in my hair but. shore. why not. would love to give off a poison ivy vibe


Glass Sword
  • <p> <b>Cal:</b> What did one ocean say to the other ocean?<p/><b>Mare:</b> I don't know.<p/><b>Cal:</b> Nothing, they just waved.<p/><b>Mare:</b> Cal...<p/><b>Cal:</b> Do you sea what I did?<p/><b>Mare:</b> What the heck...<p/><b>Cal:</b> I'm shore you did...<p/><b>Mare:</b> Why are we friends?<p/><b>Cal:</b> Don't be such a beach.<p/></p>
New Jersey Gothic

- The deli on the corner has been abandoned for years. Why do the delivery trucks still show up every Wednesday? Who is moving around behind the dusty window?

- The condos appeared, as if overnight. Nobody moved in, but more condos have appeared since then. They’re multiplying.

- The light shines into your room every night. “Can’t we put that on a motion sensor?” you ask. “It is,” your mother says quietly.

- Rubbernecking on the Parkway; another accident due to the roadwork. You have to stare as they continue building, crushing the smoldering vehicle beneath a concrete pylon. Before the roof goes, two glassy eyes meet yours.

- Everyone joked about the Italian Ice place being run by the mob. “This tastes like blood,” you say without thinking. The man at the counter smiles wider.

- Taking a wrong turn in an unfamiliar town, it’s always unnerving to see people leering at you from their front stoops. It’s worse when they’re not people.

- The whoosh of cars is the only sound you know. It gets louder and louder until your ears ring with it. You’ll never cross the street.

- You struggle to squeeze through the space between yours and your neighbors’ house. It wasn’t this close yesterday.

- “Stronger than the Storm,” a bumper sticker reads. You shudder to think what force of nature might make good on that promise.

- “There’s nothing across the Delaware,” Dad always said, “Nothing.” But some nights you go to the river and, if you look hard, you can see a faint light moving in the empty fields.

- The train speeds through Secaucus Junction, and you catch a glimpse of some night passengers idling on the platform. They don’t seem to notice the twisted, shambling shapes beyond the train station.

- You know there’s a stretch of road that goes through the Pine Barrens, from the shore to Philadelphia. Why can’t you ever remember driving it? Why do you always have a splitting headache after the trip?

- The boardwalk still hasn’t recovered from the storm; all the arcades are dim and closed. But every night at midnight, the calliope music keeps us up for hours.

I love you, Riverdale, but
  • Why did everyone just congregate around Jason Blossom’s body? Like, was there a group text, “Meet at Sweetwater River, dead ginger on the shore”? 
    • On that note, why wasn’t Sheriff Keller like, “Hey, all citizens of Riverdale, GTFO, this is a crime scene?”
  • How did Archie literally not get in trouble, like, at all when his dad found out he was sleeping with his teacher?
  • When does Pop Tate sleep/go home? Does Pop Tate sleep/go home? 
  • Why does Betty just randomly have a ladder at her window? If she doesn’t, how did she not hear Jughead placing said ladder at her window? (on that note: I hope Hal never notices his ladder is missing because we need 10,000 more Jughead-climbing-into-Betty’s-room-scenes in S2, thanks.)
  • You’re telling me that Polly was holed up in a convent and probably getting at least some maternity care from the Sisters and obviously super pregnant and no one had figured out she was having twins yet? Is the convent’s prenatal equipment from 1960?
  • If Hal was really so disturbed by the idea of his daughter getting frisky with someone in her bloodline and was completely unable to sway her, why didn’t he just tell her she was doing incest? I just feel like that’s a thing I’d 100% for sure tell my kid. 
  • Jughead has probably lived in Riverdale for pretty much ever, right? And Sheriff Keller has probably been around a while, too? And it’s not like, a booming metropolis. So why was he so super shocked to find out about Jughead’s ~insidious criminal past~?

Originally posted by lilireinhartpics

Why don’t we make this
like the clouds 
floating above
the deepest parts of the ocean
like the waves 
endlessly rolling 
to the shore;
you sat across me
and I thought of
why don’t we make this
a safe haven
where we can both come home to
anytime we feel 
like drowning, 
anytime we feel 
like the sea breeze
is too salty,
everytime the air
is too heavy
for breathing,
anytime we feel
like missing
each other’s pieces;
I put my earphones on
but the music
is just white noise
as I stared at the ocean,
my thoughts are swimming
while tiptoeing
on the ocean floor,
swimming back to the shore;
why don’t we make this
a song
that could calm white tips
on gigantic waves
and calm the raging whirlpool
inside our heads;
I look at you 
as you close your eyes,
listening to the sea
as it hums a lullaby
for you and me
and I thought of 
why don’t we make this 
and brave

© Samantha M. 2017

  • Okay but hear me out 
  • There are a surprisingly small amount of percy Jackson!malec au
  • So I ask you to consider:
  • Magnus as calypso
  • Oh my god
  • Just think about it
  • Alec is on a mission, super important and bad against like, Valentine or whatever
  • And he plans to destroy camp half-blood and take over the mortal world?? Idk
  • He wants to wipe out the gods and their supporters???
  • Think like how luke (not garroway, castellan) got so many demigod allies thanks to the flawed system mixed with the Circle and that kind of prejudice, you know?
  • Anyway
  • Alec’s a part of the mission to defeat him
  • And while he’s not the famous percy or jason kind of hero like clary or his siblings, he’s more important than he knows
  • But anyway
  • They’re fighting, a battle at sea- valentine’s Andromeda (I mean, both luke castellan and valentine had an evil boat)
  • And alec goes overboard, sacrificing himself to save the others
  • and then of course
  • Alec washes up on the shore of Ogygia
  • He’s very confused, of course, when he wakes up to a beautiful stranger with golden cat eyes tending to his wounds briskly and efficiently
  • But the stranger informs him he is on a magical island and he’s been knocked out three days
  • And alec’s like ???
  • At first, the raft doesn’t show up, because alec doesn’t necessarily fall so quickly in love
  • And magnus is closed off, afraid of getting his heart broken again
  • After all, people hadn’t actually washed up on his shore in a while
  • He’d decided he wouldn’t do it again, he wouldn’t, he couldn’t, and soon the visits had dwindled and then stopped
  • Because maybe even being alone was better than having loved and lost a thousand times
  • (it’s not)
  • But then alec came and well
  • You’ve unlocked something in me,”
  • But anyway
  • soon they get to know each other and they just-
  • they can’t help but fall deeply, deeply in love
  • It maybe takes a while (Although time is different in Ogygia)
  • Many days of Magnus gardening, painting, telling stories
  • Days of alec sharing with him, his secrets, his stories
  • And magnus…. Slowly beginning to trust him with the same things in return, the same fears and hopes and dreams
  • It starts with them sharing a bed when one of them has a nightmare
  • And then it grows as alec tries to teach magnus archery, and magnus teaches him about herbs and potions
  • As alec tries (and fails) to paint magnus
  • As magnus shares stories of past people, ranging from funny to sweet to sad
  • (I say people because not all were lovers- after all, love didn’t have to necessarily be romantic. Apparently friends, counted too. In fact, ragnor, one of the ones who had stayed the longest, had only ever been a friend, and one of the deepest cutting losses he’d ever experienced)
  • As alec tries to teach him to dance (magnus only knows some very old-fashioned dances, and he’d never been good at them anyway. Meanwhile, alec claims it’s a lot like fighting, just more… loose. And free.)
  • As magnus helps him make a new bow, new arrows, out of the trees and such
  • As alec tells him that he loves his eyes, that they’re unique and pretty (magnus usually hides them as they tend to freak out his visitors, but after that he hides them less and less)
  • As magnus gives him a little moonlace flower to take care of
  • And alec knows magnus has fallen in love a thousand times before
  • But this time- this time it’s different
  • And maybe alec has insecurities about that but he knows magnus loves him, and that’s what matters
  • And it’s just
  • It’s beautiful, okay?
  • But
  • But the worst part about their relationship,
  • Is that he has to make that choice
  • The choice they always have to make
  • His family… his friends…. or the man he fell in love with
  • Because the Fates are fucking cruel
  • And he knows he has a duty, a job-
  • But…. the world has jace and izzy and clary and simon and so many others
  • Who does magnus have?
  • Who has ever chosen him? Who’s ever stayed with him?
  • Who needs Alec more?
  • “I just want the person who loves me to choose me over the world”
  • I don’t want the world, I want you”
  • Because he tells himself they don’t need me. Magnus does
  • The raft comes, and alec looks at it for a long time
  • And magnus is sad because alec is going to leave him
  • But then
  • He doesn’t
  • Alec chooses magnus
  • It hurts so much, but it’s worth it
  • And alec looks down at that fucking raft, magnus turns away because he almost can’t bear watching alec turn his back on him
  • But then alec sets it on fire
  • And he’s like “WHAT ARE YOU DOING???”
  • And alec smiles (a little sadly, he has thought about this- he’d figured that the raft would come at some point, he’s thought about this, and knows, he knows what he needs to- wants to- do) and says “I’m choosing you”
  • And magnus doesn’t know what to think, and he can’t help but begin to cry, not sure if he’s sad or happy, angry or relieved
  • Alec wraps his arms around him and holds him close and all magnus can think is no one has ever chosen me before, no one-
  • And they’re on this island together
  • And they love each other so fucking much
  • And on Ogygia, Alec won’t age
  • Alec knows they’ll likely be together a very long time- possibly forever
  • But he can’t ever imagine getting bored of Magnus, imagine not wanting to wake up to his beautiful face, imagine not wanting to hold him and love him and keep him
  • He couldn’t imagine not wanting to be his forever
  • Of course, the raft comes back, and each night alec burns it
  • It’s almost like a ritual
  • they’re happy together, but every day, alec wonders
  • are they okay?
  • His siblings, his friends, his family….
  • And magnus worries, because what if alec regrets it??? What if alec grows to regret this? Regret him? What if he leaves?
  • He didn’t want to keep him here if he wanted to leave, but he wasn’t sure if he could bear losing him after getting his hopes up like this
  • Sometimes, albeit very rarely, a god or goddess will show up with information- Aphrodite, all sympathetic smiles and bubbly laughter, Hermes bringing news of the war (Alec finds he enjoys feeding George and Martha- they’re good conversationalists, too), that kind of thing
  • (I know the gods aren’t that emotionally involved shut up)
  • But then, like a while later
  • Then…
  • the gods free them
  • Aphrodite fought hard (for the power of true love, of course), Athena believed it would be a wise strategy (two powerful allies, she says), Apollo argues for his son’s happiness, Hermes affirms that he has been visiting Magnus for quite a while and believes him to be no threat
  • Hades, Artemis, and Dionysus are all in favor
  • (Apparently Magnus and Dionysus used to be pretty good drinking buddies, Artemis had grudgingly admired their loyalty to each other- and alec’s archery skills, and Hades- well, who knew why he chose to support them?)
  • Demeter, Poseidon, Hera, and Ares are all undecided/unbothered
  • Zeus is like ugh no.
  • But they end up…. deciding to do it (obviously)
  • And it’s glorious
  • like one day, they’re eating together, talking quietly and trading soft kisses and sweet words and then… alec looks over to the beach…… and there’s a raft
  • and a figure, dark and silhouetted against the rising sun
  • it’s Apollo, alec’s godly father
  • and as they approach, magnus’s lips turned down into a worried frown, and apollo’s grinning widely
  • they’re standing near the shore, and magnus asks “why are you here?” and his voice is tight and his eyes are bright with worry
  • because what if he’s going to take alec away?
  • After all, that was the whole point of Magnus’s curse, wasn’t it?
  • That he’d always be alone
  • That thanks to the parentage he couldn’t control, thanks to the way he’d been so scared back in the first war and he hadn’t helped either side, he would always be alone
  • (as a creature made for love and attention, thriving among people, among friends- this is the worst punishment they could have imagined)
  • But now… he has alec
  • So what if the gods want to take that back???
  • He’s scared and defensive, and he stands in front of alec protectively and he doesn’t even notice the sparks dancing on his palms, the tongues of flame curling around his fingers
  • Apollo, luckily, is completely unoffended
  • He’s amused (And not unsympathetic)
  • But he hasn’t answered yet
  • And alec brushes past magnus (magnus twitches like he wants to shove him back right now and protect him, but he can’t) and says “father, i’m not leaving. Not without magnus. I’m sorry, but I refuse to. I love him.”
  • And Apollo shakes his head, still smiling, and says slyly, “I wouldn’t ask you to. No, it’s something else, son”
  • Alec looks concerned, and magnus steps forward and says, “is something wrong?”
  • And Apollo grins wider and says “no, nothing’s wrong…. In fact, it’s the opposite”
  • Alec looks skeptical, and Apollo gestures to the raft and says, “table for two?”
  • After a moment, alec’s eyes widen and magnus gasps
  • “You- you can’t mean-?” magnus asked, shocked, and Apollo gave him a surprisingly gentle smile
  • “you’re free,” he replied happily, “both of you”
  • Magnus couldn’t help but fall to his knees, feeling weak, knowing he was trembling, but it had been- it had been so goddamn long
  • He’d been on this damn island for literally hundreds, thousands of years
  • And already alec had chosen him, after such a long time of people leaving him, over and over and over again, but now… now they were going to be free
  • Free together!
  • And alec-
  • Alec is going home.
  • He’d already reconciled himself with the fact he wasn’t going home again, wasn’t seeing his friends and family again
  • But now he would
  • He would, and he would with the love of his life
  • He could introduce magnus to them- and magnus could meet them, too- and- just the idea, of everyone he loved in one place-
  • Alec throws his arms around magnus
  • They were both grinning widely, tears sparking at their eyes
  • They kiss, but the kiss is messy and full of emotion and it falls apart under the weight of their love and relief and sudden, crushing hope
  • Apollo grins, tips his hat (He hadn’t been wearing a top hat a second ago, but whatever, he was a god) and says, “pack your bags, kidd-os!”
  • Magnus has barely anything to pack
  • A part of him will miss his island
  • The peace of the gardens, the clear sky, the lack of idiots
  • But most of him can’t wait to get out and see the people, the world
  • To have rain, snow- it never snowed on the island and it very rarely rained
  • And he had few actual possessions on the island itself
  • So he had a small bag and that’s it
  • And alec had the bow magnus had helped him make and the little moonlace flower
  • And they step onto the raft together, the wood rocking unevenly under their feet
  • And Apollo grins cheerily and waves them off as the raft begins to speed away
  • Alec puts his arm around magnus as they watch the island that had been magnus’s home- his home, and his prison- for so, so long zoom away… forever
  • And it’s a long journey home (they run into two different sea monsters, somehow)
  • Okay, but here’s the thing
  • everyone thinks alec is dead
  • it’s been like idk a year? Half a year?
  • I know that in the books he was gone longer than he thought but I say that the time fluctuation can go either way because I want to
  • So like he thinks he was gone for like idk a year or two
  • And for them it’s been like half that
  • But anyway
  • They’re mourning and grieving in their own ways, and they’re like making battle plans or whatever??
  • When the alarm goes up
  • And they get to the beach, expecting an attack
  • And there’s a raft, washed up on the shore, and two people clinging to it, kind of wet but grinning and breathless
  • And it’s alec, alec and someone they’ve never seen before
  • Ooooh wait
  • You know how I mentioned that it wasn’t always romantic people who washed up??
  • What if clary did???
  • To like blend the canon of magnus knowing little!clary and of calypso knowing at least one person still alive idk
  • But I mean like when she was a little kid, before she knew she was the daughter of some powerful greek god
  • So magnus had been like chilling, gardening or whatever
  • And this little redheaded girl washed up
  • Like a fucking toddler
  • And he’s like “good heavens this little girl just fucking washed up on the beach what are the Fates fucking playing at????
  • And he, of course, helps her
  • And he grows to love this sweet little girl (love what he could’ve had, love the family he would never have, but also just her- she was fiery and fierce and strong) which means the raft showed up, like a little sister or something
  • He nicknames her biscuit because she keeps eating all of his fucking biscuits
  • (Hermes brings them sometimes and magnus finds he is quite fond of what he knows about the current mortal world- the wine Dionysus occasionally brings has certainly gotten better. And later, the diet coke)
  • but he knew she had loved ones, a family, and so once her wounds were taken care of, he sent her away on the raft and knew she would find those people who loved her again
  • Maybe this is part of her backstory oh my god
  • Like when she was a kid, she and her mom were attacked by monsters on a cruise or something?
  • And she only remembers a kind young man taking care of her, calling her biscuit (for some reason) then a bobbing raft at sea, then waking up in her sobbing mother’s arms (“Luke, I just found her, she was on a piece of driftwood, of all things-”)
  • Her friends (The ones she’s told about this, anyway) nicknamed him Biscuit Man
  • Because she’s the daughter of one of the Big Three and she’s destined for great things
  • Which includes weird-ass stories like that
  • So when these two show up on the beach, soaked, everyone’s rushing to Alec (“holy shit you’re alive wtf???”) but she’s like “it’s you!”
  • And he kind of squints like “biscuit?”
  • And Alec’s like “wait clary’s biscuit?”
  • And simon’s like “wait that’s Biscuit Man?”
  • Alec snickers
  • Anyway
  • So like alec, someone they thought was fucking dead just sort of shows up
  • With a minor god
  • And is like “not dead?”
  • Izzy nearly punches him
  • Jace does punch him (in the arm) and then hugs him and says I’m glad you’re okay
  • And he’s like “so this is my boyfriend. Magnus.”
  • And Chiron (or the Chiron equivalent… Hodge? Idk) is like “Magnus Bane? Like, minor god, son of one of the worst Titans, Asmodeous? That Magnus?”
  • “yeeeeeeeeeeeeessss?”
  • But basically
  • Happy endings!!!
  • And like Magnus is very confused by the modern world
  • And he loves every second of it
  • He’s fascinated with cell phones and the internet
  • And he actually gets the hang of it pretty fast
  • (never forget magnus bane is a fucking genius- I mean, for one example, he invented the Portal, guys, he’s fucking brilliant)
  • He loves the latest fashion trends and make-up and stuff
  • Isabelle helps with that part ;)
  • And they’re all kind of suspicious at first
  • But magnus ends up being a pretty powerful ally whom is very clearly on their side
  • (just because he spent the past few thousand years on an island with gardens and paint and shit doesn’t mean he isn’t badass as fuck. He still works out and practices and shit)
  • (he also finds Valentine absolutely deplorable)
  • And he’s a really good friend
  • And he obviously adores Alec, he looks at him like he’s everything
  • And Alec looks at him the same way
  • They’re clearly ridiculously in love
  • Magnus stays with him at the Apollo cabin (same bed and everything even though they’re not supposed to- apparently, they’d gotten used to it) and there was no cabin for Magnus anyway
  • Sometimes one of the campers will wake and look over, curious
  • They’ll see them, curled up together, squished against each other and the wall in their little bunk bed but perfectly content
  • A god, albeit minor (or would it technically be Titan? I’m not actually sure) sleeping soundly in the arms of their stern, quiet brother, breaths deep and even
  • It’s almost unbelievable, but it’s right there in front of them
  • Like when they do finally defeat Valentine and shit
  • Magnus is still immortal, see, but Alec isn’t
  • They hadn’t realized this when they’d left the islands (the Fates were still angry, Magnus mutters bitterly) but it was the case
  • But then Alec (whom had done some ridiculously heroic deed) pulls a Percy and is offered a favor
  • And he becomes immortal????
  • Idk
  • But the point is they get their happy ending
  • And just
  • This whole au, man
  • fuck

i don’t know what i’m doing i’m sorry


Originally posted by bonesy-mccoy

Originally posted by comehereiloveyou

(I don’t know what I’m doing with all the cat’s :P Sorry, not sorry)

Prompt: Bones falls in love with an empowered curvy reader who never feels pressured and he loves her regardless of what others think

Warnings: Hurtful and crude comments

Word count: 1,178 (Short, I know, but I had no inspiration. I’ll try to make it up in the next fic ;))

A/n: I don’t feel good about this fic quality wise, and please, don’t hate on people who are different from you! :’( This blog is friendly to all people!

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Jim is so sweet with little kids and animals and it pushes Bones further and further into wanting to marry him

Imagine Bones finding Jim drunk, at an animal shelter, and crying because the workers won’t let him adopt 18 dogs and 37 cats. 

Bones helps Jim get home and then immediately goes ring shopping. 

Female Modesty

The custom of covering the female body is an ancient one and has been seen in various cultures around the world. In ancient Greece, a place where the human body was worshipped Greek women were often veiled in public and sequestered in the home.

In Rome noble women were likewise covered and veiled while slave women wore short tunics which left them exposed. In Medieval Europe noblewomen were likewise completely covered and veiled in public. In fact as recently as the early 1900s women were completely covered even when bathing at the sea shore. 

Why then do some societies demand the covering of women’s bodies? Well we have seen that it is a sign of nobility and class in some cultures where workers and slaves are bare to the sun and the eyes of strangers. In others it is because female beauty is seen as a sinful attraction leading to lust. In these patriarchal societies female sexuality is something that belongs to the father or the husband and is not to be given freely to just anybody. In societies such as these only harlots are displayed. “Decent” women remain concealed.

In the West we tend to see Muslim women as oppressed because they are compelled to cover themselves. Many Muslim women in turn pity Western women because they are compelled to display themselves in scanty outfits and makeup like prostitutes.

I suppose the bottom line here is that this is all about men. Men desire women yet are worried about the power that this desire gives women over them. They fear it. They fear the way it makes them feel. So long as men have this fear so shall women be compelled to cover themselves.

๑ Samsaran ๑

Beneath the Waves (Part 2)

Part 2 of my mermaid!snowbaz AU! @ismill is doing the amazing illustrations for this story! 

Part 1



That dirty thief, I thought, scowling as I hunched against the early November winds. My fingers felt brittle, like they were about to break off. I pulled my sleeves down as far as they would go.

If only bitterness kept you warm.

In my haste to chase Bunce down, I’d forgotten a coat, so all I had was this sweater I wore way too fucking much. But it wasn’t like I could just go out and buy new clothes, not on this godforsaken island.

If we wanted to get things that didn’t come from fish or livestock, we had to spend three hours of our lives making it down to bloody Ponteland. And if we wanted chocolate, it was damn near a day to get to London.

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Let’s talk about Dracula!

Yes, let’s.

(The book by Bram Stoker, I mean. There is a whole ‘nother conversation to be had about history and folklore and cultural reduction but right now is for morning coffee and classic literature.)

Thesis statement: Everyone should go out right now to their local library and pick up an unabridged copy of Dracula and start reading. 

Supporting evidence: It’s super good.

Classic lit can be onerous. Sometimes you read it and go “Okay, my guess is that it’s only a classic of Early American Lit because we only had so many examples to choose from.” (Looking at you, The Scarlet Letter.) Sometimes you read it and go “I get why it’s amazing but also why people don’t read it much.” (Hugs and kisses, Moby-Dick!) Sometimes you read it and just go “Whaaaaaaaaaaat???” (Shout-out to The Castle of Otranto and Fantomina: Or, Love In A Maze!)

Sometimes you read it and have to freak out all over tumblr.

Have you read Frankenstein? It’s better than Frankenstein.

Origin of the classic “image” of vampires, the garlic/stake/cross lore etc., the swooning maidens–yadda yadda, you get the idea. The part you won’t know until you read it is how charming and tender and heartbreaking and ghastly the original story was.

It’s all told in letters back and forth between the people who encounter Dracula and their attempts to not die, not go crazy, and not lose their souls. Important selling point: Everyone is in love with each other. There is so much love. So many Declarations of Devotion and Important Hand-Holdings and Forehead Kisses between very tender people. No really, this is a book full of cinnamon rolls. Lean into the pages and take a deep whiff of all that baked-good happiness.

(For someone very tired of “heroes” so clumsily flawed there’s no point, this overabundance of brave good selfless people is a delight.)

The story doesn’t unfold the way you would expect. For a reader familiar with the idea of vampires, it’s obvious from the start, but keep in mind that Stoker was having to introduce this myth pretty much from the ground up, and has to walk his very ordinary characters into believing the impossible one torturous, aching step at a time. 

It starts so very innocuously. Young cinnamon roll lawyer Jonathan Harker has been dispatched by his boss to meet with a client in Transylvania who is getting his affairs in order to move to London. Jonathan’s journal is full of asides about all the fun things he wants to tell his wonderful fiancee Mina when he gets back. The curious local customs! The paprika all over the food! The beautiful vistas! The urbane generosity of his host, Count Dracula! 

Oh no oh no oh no you go, watching Jonathan slowly come to realize how much trouble he is in over the ACTUAL MONTHS he spends living with the Count. Realizing he might never get out of this castle alive. 

Not that the Count has ever been anything but courteous. A heh.

We leave Jonathan in deadly peril and check in with wonderful fiancee Mina, AKA ACTUAL ARCHANGEL OF COURAGE AND MERCY and train fiend, and her ABSURDLY CHARMING letters back and forth with her bestie Lucy, who has approximately All Of The Men in love with her and who frankly deserves them. But what’s that? Lucy is sleepwalking? A weird ghost ship wrecked on the shore? Why is Lucy’s ex-boyfriend’s mental patient talking about consuming life and his Master coming for him? Is Jonathan ever going to get home?

(Sometimes Stoker hits this awful resounding note of irony, including someone’s ill-timed happy innocent letter in the midst of another person’s agony, and it’s just–augh.)

Here, I don’t want to tell you the whole thing. Trust me.

It’s also super readable. This is always important to me. It’s flowing, it’s witty, it’s beautiful without being florid. It is BREAKING MY ROTTEN HEART. If you’re looking for something elegant and wise and tender, this is the book for you this month.

Ryan and the Nude Beach

My wife and I were reaching the last of our eight days in The Philippines and debating what to do. It had been a beautiful trip. River rafting through waterfalls in a monkey-filled forest, sitting under palm trees and drinking from coconuts, sunset sailing, all marred only by a touch of food poisoning. 

She had negotiated a great rate on a grand finale island hopping tour, but I confessed I just wasn’t feeling it. The whole trip had been beautiful, but meticulously planned. Which is not the way I roll. There had been none of the surprises, mistakes, or unplanned activities that make travel worthwhile for me. I didn’t want to do anything that came with an itinerary. I wanted to do something unexpected and unplannable. 

I thought about all the places I’ve gone and all the stupid things I’ve done and tried to think of something that was still outside my comfort zone. And on a whim, I Googled “Boracay Nude Beach.“ 

I found what I was looking for immediately. Trip Advisor directed me to a clothing-optional resort just 30 minutes away that reviews called “the best place for European nudists!” And for ten bucks, non-guests could enjoy the nude beach as well! My wife agreed to go, with the understanding that whatever weirdness I was getting up to, she would stay in her suit. I told her that was totally cool, pointing out the reviews that mentioned how one might bump into “textile visitors” but that they would be welcoming and happy to be both understanding of their textile ways and willing to explain nudism culture. I was proud that I was ALREADY discovering nudism culture by learning the word “textile visitor.” We cleared our schedule and went. 

I was still a little nervous. First of all, since I had just gotten over the projectile-everything of food poisoning, I was scared of a sudden relapse that might cause disturbing things to happen. Secondly, in the car there, the driver took a moment at a traffic stop to calmly turn to me and say “You are overweight” unprompted. I am not a man with body issues, but on the way to a nude beach is not the best time to be told that you’re too fat to be one of three people in a vehicle made for eight. 

But then, we arrived. It was very secluded. A long walk from the main road, then a big gate with a security guard. He let us through to where we could pay the fee and walk through a long winding path lined with privacy-offering palm trees. Finally, we reached the beach. And it was beautiful. Like a postcard. A gorgeous little cove rimmed with caves and coral. Crystal clear turquoise waters. Tiny blue tang and clownfish swimming together like a Pixar movie. Multicolored crabs scurrying over rock formations. There were only 6 or 7 other people there. Everyone still in swimsuits. I had wanted to ease myself into it, but if everyone was waiting for someone else to be the first one on the dance floor, it was going to be a long day. I figured I was gonna have to be the one to go first, even if I was a noob. I stripped naked, and dove in. 

And it was beautiful. Like, one-with-nature, caveman kinda stuff. I forgot all of the awkwardness and just moved through the sea. Floating in the sun. Diving down to see the coral. But after a bit I realized that there were less and less people in the water. However, there were more and more people showing up on the beach. Families. Children. Korean tour groups. Everyone in clothing ranging from swim trunks to full wetsuits, scarves and sun hats. I was the only one without any clothes on. There sure were a lot of textile visitors. The awkwardness returned pretty quickly. 

Then, a uniformed resort employee came running to the beach, flailing his arms, calling me to the shore. Wanting to know why I didn’t have any clothes on.

“Is this… not a nude beach?” I asked.

“No!” he exclaimed, as I uncomfortably covered myself with my hands. No longer feeling one with nature, but rather like a giant hairy naked pervert creeping out a beach full of people.

“Why does your website say this is a nude beach?!?!?!?!?”

“Where did you see that? In a review? We can’t control the content of reviews, but you show me on our website where it says you can skinny dip on the beach.” He held out his phone, with the website open. I awkwardly readjusted my left hand so I could use my right hand to point at the very clear part at the very top of the webpage that said “skinny dipping beach.”

“Oh, I hadn’t seen that.” he commented. “They must have meant something else.”

“So when they said skinnydipping beach they meant something besides skinny dipping beach?” As I put some shorts on, he got on the phone with the owner and awkwardly tried to explain why I still couldn’t skinny dip because it was super illegal. I completely failed to explain that I absolutely didn’t want to skinny dip anymore but just wanted to know why his resort had set up the perfect public humiliation machine and why I had been Punk’d with it. 

Since we had already paid 20 bucks (and felt too awkward to demand a refund) we decided to just stick around for the entire day, ignoring the uncomfortable looks from the other guests wondering what my deal was. At least until a couple of hours later when everyone who had witnessed the incident had cleared off. Then, we just enjoyed the beautiful cove. 

My wife told me she was sorry that the trip had turned into such a horrifying mistake. “Are you kidding?” I exclaimed. “A horrifying travel mistake is everything I was hoping for!" 

We never did figure out the mystery of what the hell happened, but we enjoyed the day, enjoyed the sunset, the resort employee ended up being kind and wonderful. and all the awkwardness disappeared. That is, until I was taking a shower in the sole bathroom (with a door that doesn’t lock) and an old lady burst in without knocking, saw my penis and screamed. 


Okay, so here are the two posting that lead me to believe this was a nude beach.

But @le_woodman on Twitter discovered this posting from the same user…

And it has since been confirmed by management that the website was designed by someone who had no idea what the phrase “skinny dipping” mean. That mistake  lured in some nudist proselytes, who since it was the off-season and the beach was empty were allowed to go on with their business but they were so convinced that they had TURNED the resort into a nudist haven that they just started posting all over the internet as though it WAS one. I saw their review, the original mistake in the official site seemingly confirmed it, and boom. Public humiliation.