shopping with hannibal

Extra Cream

So my birthday clone, @victorineb wanted a follow-up to my coffee shop AU for her birthday. This was the best I could do, my darling, I hope you enjoy! Have a wonderful birthday!

         “You’re telling me it’s been two weeks and you still haven’t touched Hot Hannibal’s cock?” Bev gaped at Will as she made change for a very stunned grandmotherly type. Will’s mouth dropped open, eyes wide. He pointed at the shell-shocked customer. Bev spared her a small smile. “Sorry ma’am, but my friend has been in love with this guy for like a year, finally started dating him, and now he tells me he’s stuck on first base!”

         The lady nodded, fixing Will with a sympathetic smile. “Performance issues?”

         Beverly beamed as Will’s mouth thinned into a tight line.

         “Your cocoa will be ready over there, ma’am,” he said through gritted teeth, a rigid arm pointing her to the end of the counter. He turned to Beverly and hissed, “I hate you.”

         “You should hate him, what the fuck is up with this dude?” Bev glanced at another customer. “Welcome to Mizumono, can you hang on for a sec?”

         She turned back to Will.

         “Seriously, I’m thinking we have to change his name from Hot Hannibal to Professor Blue Balls.”

         Will shoved Beverly to the side, face aflame. “I’m sorry for the delay what can I get you?”

         “I’ll have a vanilla latte please and a blue ball – UH I MEAN BLUEBERRY scone.” The woman wouldn’t look at him as she thrust a twenty in his direction. Will glared at Bev, willing her head to explode. It never worked, but he had faith that if he just kept practicing…

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Coffee Shop AU

For @lecteronthelam, based on this post, because it got in my head and I had to do it :D

  • Will is a criminology professor teaching night classes at the local community college. He spends most of his mornings keeping up with the forensics literature and preparing lectures at the coffee shop at the end of his block.
  • He lowkey hates it because it’s entirely too pretentious and expensive, and the clientele is mostly twenty-something freelance graphic designers in ill-fitting knit beanies and grandpa shirts they bought at J. Crew (but want you to believe they bought at Goodwill). But it’s the closest one to his house and they make a turkey sandwich he really likes, so he deals with it.
  • Oh, and also there’s Hannibal. Who always comes in right at 11:30, in a perfectly-pressed, immaculately-fitted white shirt, and is less a “deal with it” situation and more a “reason to pay $5 for drip coffee” situation.
  • Hannibal owns a local high-end pastry shop who vends to cafes in the area, filling the demand for bergamot macarons, lavender scones, chamomile pound cake, and other things people convince themselves they want (when they actually just want a Tollhouse cookie). He mostly stays at the bakery, but has to fill in on delivery rounds when his assistant calls in sick.
  • On deliveries, he tries to get in and out as quickly as possible so he can hit all 20 cafes on the schedule and get back to his calm, clean, organized kitchen, where he has to listen to neither the banal chatter of the awkward first date crowd nor the toneless wail of whichever Wisconsin-based acoustic guitarist is making the rounds on Pandora that week.
  • Oh, and also there’s Will. Who is a fixture of his 11:30 delivery in Wolf Trap, and who appears determined, through his body language and choice of corner table, to make it clear that he is not a part of this crowd.
  • And Will, with his decidedly Eddie Bauer aesthetic and stack of crime literature, is most definitely not a part of this crowd. There’s a keenness about Will that interests him: the hawkish way he observes other people, his legitimate interest in the work in front of him, his complete disinterest in whichever app has the coffee-shop tech crowd abuzz that week.
  • Hannibal finds himself, despite his best intentions, taking the delivery rounds more and more, “just for a chance to get some air,” and always taking his sweet time unloading the van in Wolf Trap.
  • For his part, Will always takes notice of people who walk through the door, immediately sizing them up: their hobbies, worries, interests, purposes. But when Hannibal comes in, he can’t get any kind of handle on him at all, and his mind is roaring with it, with the challenge. He starts looking forward to it, this new and different intruder in his daily routine.
  • After months of this (by which time Hannibal has completely fired his assistant and is just doing all the deliveries himself now), in which their only communication has been brief but definite eye contact, Hannibal orders himself a coffee and sits down at the table next to Will’s. All the hair on Will’s arm is standing up, and he’s not sure whether it’s in annoyance or excitement. How dare this guy just decide to make a move-that-isn’t-a-move, how dare he sit there looking like a marble statue, pretending they haven’t been eye fucking for months now.
  • Will sits there for ten minutes trying to figure out what to do. Finally he just can’t take it anymore and opens his mouth to tell him off, but the only thing that comes out is, “If you’re going to stay for lunch, don’t order the chicken salad sandwich. They put way too much celery in it.”
  • Hannibal is instantly smitten, and he feels a little absurd about it, but he orders a turkey sandwich, moves his coffee to sit across from Will, and introduces himself.
  • Five years later, Will has finally reached tenure, and Hannibal has expanded his business to open his own storefront. They live together in a little house with a French press and an ever-growing family of stray dogs, second-hand criminology books, and pie pans, and they always have lunch at “their” coffee shop on their anniversary, eating turkey sandwiches and people-watching.

Hanni and Will on a Coffee shop Date (´。• ᵕ •。`) ♡

“For the dogs.” Hannibal held up some santa hats with reindeer antlers.

“Good lord,” Will laughed, grabbing it from him and looking at the tacky things. “Where did you get this?”

“I saw it walking home. In the window of a ghastly little Christmas shop.” Hannibal shrugged. “I thought you would like it.”

“Oh, I do.” Will placed a quick kiss on Hannibal’s cheek. “I’m just surprised you bought it is all. It’s…kind of goddamn adorable.”

Will called the dogs over. Winston and Buster and the rest, placing the silly hats on all of them. Some of them taking the humiliation better than others.

“Help me take a picture.” Will fussed with the dogs, trying to get them all to keep the hats on. “I’ve never bought my dogs clothes before, but these are pretty fun.”

Hannibal rolled his eyes behind Will’s back but helped him take the picture.

"They look like santa’s reindeer. A very distinguished, festive bunch.” Hannibal said, pulling Will close to him and kissing him, rubbing his arms affectionately. “You are a ridiculous dog loving man. And I love you.”

"You bought the hats, dear. You’re just as ridiculous as me.”


(I’m really struggling to post these on time, but I pulled it off. Please enjoy this ridiculous little thing).

Imagine an AU where Abigail was actually Hannibal’s daughter

She would be the like the cool teenage daughter and when Hannibal tells her how he’s fallen for the FBI agent Will Graham she helps him and Will get together

Imagine that Hannibal and Will are texting but Hannibal doesn’t know what to reply back to Will to he barges into Abigail’s room shouting, “HELP ME! I DON’T KNOW HOW TO FLIRT AND HE KEEPS TALKING ABOUT DOGS!” 

Imagine how when Hannibal doesn’t know where to take Will on a date Abigail just tells Hannibal two simple words, “Pet shop.” and Will and Hannibal spend hours just roaming a pet store looking at all the cute dogs. Will ends up talking Hannibal into getting one for Abigail  

Imagine when Abigail wakes up in the morning to see Will in his boxers and a T-shirt making breakfast and Abigail just keeps giggling cause she can’t believe that the goof who loves dogs and the plaid cannibal got together

Propriety

Anonymous said: could i please request small snippet stories of hanni calling will ‘pup’ because he finds their age difference amusing and will’s chagrin at him doing so in public even more funny, alpha/omega. i love you and your writing! happy weekend

Will stopped short, and flushed hotly from the looks that he was receiving from the scandalized customers in the sundae shop. 

What had Hannibal just called him? Surely he’d imagined it. That murmured endearment. 

The people who’d overheard— they’d misheard. Hannibal did speak with an accent, after all. It was unthinkable that his mannerly alpha would’ve said something like that, especially in public. 

Hannibal held his hand tightly as they stepped out into the bright August sun, not caring that he couldn’t eat one-handed. His hand was getting numb from the cold, Will eventually mumbled, unable to help the way his complaint came across as a whine.

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youtube

oh my fucking god check out this video this is actually WILL GRAHAM!!!!!! From the clothes to the glasses to the hair omg I cannot believe this!!!!
Now I need that little Graham Cracker doll ♥

tvline.com
Hannibal Sneak Peek: Never Offer Your Hand to Dr. Lecter!
Shhh. Be vewy, vewy quiet. Dr. Lecter's hunting... partygoers? Yes indeed, in the following (almost dialogue-free) clip from Hannibal's Season 3 premiere (Thursday, June 4 at 10/9c on NBC), the tit...
By Michael Slezak

Never offer Hannibal a hand unless you wait it to be taken… literally.

Ok but an au with student!will and retired professor!hannibal.
Will is studying in a coffee shop, and Hannibal comes up and asks how he’s enjoying reading his psychology text book, he seems so intensely focused on it, and will rolls his eyes at the intrusion of space, avoiding eye contact, and bluntly explains that it’s really well written but that it’s excessively self congratulatory, and that it’s difficult to concentrate and get through it because whoever wrote it was clearly aware of how brilliant they were because every line screams “I’m a pompous ass!”
And Hannibal pauses a beat before smiling a little and calmly saying, “I always appreciate constructive criticism of my work. I am glad to hear that it is well written at least, despite its flaws.”
And their relationship goes from there.