shopping au

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Flower Shop AU where Viktor keeps buying a new plant everyday and Yuuri thinks the plants keep dying on Viktor so he gives him a catcus.

Yuuri: “Now you don’t have to come back so often” :D :D 

Viktor: *sound of heart breaking* 

Concept: a video game where the protagonist has the ability to travel between a sword-and-sorcery fantasy setting and the corresponding present-day coffee shop AU, and events in each world are translated into contextually similar events in the other.

All of your items and special abilities have both a sword-and-sorcery effect and a coffee shop AU effect, like an MP-restoring potion translates into a can of energy drink or whatever. The ability to cast a lightning bolt spell becomes the ability to deliver a devastating verbal quip.

Your magical companion is a helpful fairy in the sword-and-sorcery world, and an AI that lives in your smartphone in the coffee shop AU world.

There are puzzles that are initially impossible in one world, but can be manipulated into a solvable configuration by arranging events in the other.

The Big Bad is a world-devouring dragon in the sword-and-sorcery world and a gentrifying real estate developer in the coffee shop AU world, and you can win the game by defeating him in either context (with a bonus “true ending” for pulling off both victory conditions in a single playthrough, naturally).

one cannot have enough of cute and random aus so here have some more
  • “You’re the cute and quiet customer that frequents the coffee shop where I’m a barista and also where my rival barista works and we’re both fighting for your attention in increasingly creative and inconspicuous ways (making foam art, writing cheesy pick-up lines on your napkin etc. etc.)” AU.
  • “You’re my roommate who’s super cute and it’s the middle of the night and you’re cramming for your exams in your flannel pajamas and disheveled hair and it’s becoming increasingly hard for me not to kiss you” AU.
  • “You’re an Art student and I’m an English major and you keep stealing the papers for my assignment to doodle and I would kill you but you’re really cute and hey that’s actually a really nice sketch” AU.
  • “You’re the perpetual frowner in class and one day as I’m answering the teacher I intentionally make a very cheesy pun and I can hear crickets but you’re laughing out loud and that makes me feel very much accomplished” AU.
  • “The manager says the only reason the restaurant where we work at is popular is because people enjoy eating while watching our relentless flirting with each other but I swear to God we’re not flirting???” AU.
  • “I ditch prom to attend a local poetry slam and you’re also there and I never really noticed what a cute smile you have and hey do you maybe want to bond over our mutual love for ‘Howl’???” AU.
  • “You’re new in town and you seem very intimidating but as it turns out you have an awful sense of direction even with a map and you’re actually adorkable so here let me help you” AU.
  • “It’s Valentine’s Day and I’m single and you want to cheer me up but you can’t cook nor bake to save your life so you make me hot chocolate instead and it is delicious and I think I love you???” AU.
  • “It’s gym class and we’re playing volleyball and you spike really well and you manage to hit the ball square in my face and I think I’m bleeding and you’re apologizing profusely and it’s okay but you’re really cute so I guess I’ll take you up on that offer for coffee” AU.
  • “You’re the jerk-face customer that keeps on thumbing through their phone while ordering their drink so I exact revenge by spelling your name wrong on your cup and drawing phallic pictures on your coffee” AU.
  • “Our mutual friend invites us to go shopping with them and it’s kind of awkward and now you’re pushing them around the mall in a shopping cart and you’re both screaming like excited children and I’m paying the cashier and pretending I don’t know either of you” AU.
  • “Our mutual friend invites us for Thanksgiving dinner with their other friends and now there’s a full-fledged food fight going on with potatoes and turkey flying everywhere and we’re both seeking refuge under the table whilst sharing a bag of chips that you brought (just in case)” AU.
  • “You and I are both baristas at a coffee shop and one day I step out of the café to take a break and walk in on you gleefully drawing phallic pictures on the chalkboard outside that no one pays attention to so what are you doing?” AU.
  • “You and I go out to a sushi bar and the sushi chef yells at you for being allergic to a particular kind of fish and now you’re crying and I’m trying to comfort you” AU.
  • “You and I are at a sushi restaurant and you’re continuously snagging sushi off the belt that I have to pay for and you don’t seem to be going to stop anytime soon but you look so cute when you’re eating with that smile on your face what the hell man” AU.
  • “The mailman constantly mixes up your home address and mine together and keeps on sending me your letters and packages and I’m sorry I look through them but your life seems very interesting as well as those books on black magic in one of your packages so wanna talk about it over a cup of coffee?” AU.
  • “We’re both strangers sitting in the same booth at an eatery because all the other booths are full and you’re drawing smiley faces on your plate with ketchup and wow your concentrated frown is cute” AU.
  • “It’s our mutual friend’s wedding and they keep shoving us into each other because we’re the only ones at the ceremony who are single” AU.
  • “You’re my roommate and it’s way past midnight and you’re talking about how Charles Dickens inspired prison reform and how the moon must feel insignificant because it borrows light from the sun and this is all very interesting but will you please shut up and go to sleep” AU.
  • “You’re actually a really friendly and chill vampire and at night you float around outside of my bedroom window to talk with me about the universe and stuff” AU.
  • “You’re going through my sketchbook and giving questioning looks and I swear to God I’m just a deranged artist and not a serial killer” AU.
  • “We live next door to each other and I can see you through the window while you’re dancing to your iPod in your flannel pajamas and disheveled hair and God you’re a dork” AU.
  • “I’ve been standing in line at the coffee shop for hours and you casually cut through for your drink but also buy me my favorite blend and now I’m not so sure what to make of you” AU.
  • “I’m sick so you make me chicken soup and I’m really grateful but I’ve also seen you read books on magical spells and potion-making so I’m not sure if I should drink your soup in case it turns me into a toad” AU.
  • “There’s a scrawny black cat in our neighborhood that hates everyone and everything but follows you around for some reason and I see you pet it and feed it fish fries are you a witch” AU
  • “I’m a perpetual frowner and most certainly not a morning person and I work part-time at a breakfast bar and your disheveled hair and content smile as you eat my waffles and scrambled eggs is the only thing that can get me to smile” AU.
  • “You’re the one in class who has tattoos all over their arms and piercings and everybody’s scared of you and one day I catch you watching cat videos and doodling in the middle of a lecture and wow you’re a dork” AU.
  • “I work part-time as a cashier at the local corner store and you come here regularly to shop and bond with me over the microwavable chicken bites so how about I take you out on a proper date instead?” AU.
  • “I’m the owner of a magic shop and you discover my magics one day when you walk in on my cat flying around inside the shop on a broom and now I have to take you in as my apprentice or turn you into a toad” AU.
  • “You’re the health-conscious med student and I’m the chain-smoking art student who’s also your barista and you leave me notes on smoking and lung health on your napkins and also a 20-page essay on lung cancer tucked under your saucer” AU.
  • “You’re a tea-lover yet you come to the coffee shop where I work at just to see my foam art and you give me hefty tips regularly so I’ve taken it upon myself to master the art of tea-making just for you” AU.
  • “I’m a fashion major and I’m working on my illustrations and maybe I’ve had too much coffee but I swear I just saw one of the mannequins move so here I am calling you in the middle of the night please help I’m scared” AU.
  • “You work at a fast food restaurant and as you hand me my food you lecture me for ruining my health what is this hypocrisy” AU.
  • “I’m egging a random person’s house to relieve stress and you join me and as it turns out the house belongs to your ex and now they are chasing us as well as the police and now we’re both in jail waiting to be bailed so um you wanna talk about it?” AU.

i love florist aus, but my family’s owned a flower shop for like 40-ish years and i’ve grown up around, involved and working in it…. and it makes them hard to enjoy sometimes lmao.

  • i have been around flowers all my life and i know more about flower meanings from fanfictions
  • god, stop…. no, those flowers don’t go together….
  • that’s not how you keep that plant alive
  • that’S NOT HOW MUCH THAT SHOULD COST
  • stop romanticizing carnations cause carnations suck and they’re cheap as fuck and they’re most often used for FUNERALS regardless of color please stop
  • long stemmed roses are similar and only one step up from carnations
  • you can’t just slap any old shit together.  you have 3 main types of flowers in any arrangement: the ‘show’ flower, ‘filler’ flowers and ‘accent’ flowers.  plus add something green you heathens.
  • everyone??? hates yellow for some reason??? actually i can give props to fanfic for that cause they show off yellows more than i actually sell them…. which is a shame i love yellow flowers.
  • i fucking hate all my customers i WOULD NEVER DATE ANY OF MY CUSTOMERS THEY’RE THE FUCKING WORST
  • it’s the worst when they come into the store and buy all this loose shit and be like ‘i’m gunna make my own :)’ like fuck you…. i could make that ratty shit look GOOD for less than you’re spending but OKAY I GUESS.  (then it looks like shit when they post pics on facebook.  and they claim credit for making but NOT WHERE THEY GOT THE FUCKING FLOWERS)
  • there is this one old bitch we get every year, comes in for vase arrangements for her husband’s grave…. sad, but i HATE HER.  she tries to stand over our shoulders and boss and bully us and has us change the flowers used like 12 times and no matter what we make her she’s a fucking cunt acts like its not what she ordered so she can get a discount.  fuck you, you old bitch.  i made this arrangement 74583754 times you’re not getting shit.
  • why would you draw a bouquet before you make it… they’re flowers, just make it and if it looks bad take it apart???  they’re not glued there forever.
  • you WILL have skills on wrapping and bow making even if you don’t desire or think you need these skills
  • catch me in the shop blasting screaming angry metal when no one else is there (i think the flowers like it too)
  • Me: -fists the stems of a bunch of roses- Person: “doesn’t that hurt??? the thorns.”  Me; “they have learned to fear their god c:” (protip: it doesn’t hurt after a while my hands are SO ROUGH)
  • no one likes hanging around in the greenhouse as much as you think they do
  • a leaf cut is like a paper cut only the devil himself comes to rub salt in it
  • sweetie, i know it’s ur special wedding day but stop YELLING AT ME cause you picked out these ugly ass flowers i TRIED to talk you out of it and i did what i could with them, okay?!
  • the only joy i get is when children come into the shop to buy things….
  • but not when moms bring their brat ass children who want to mangle all the fucking flowers
  • this job has made me hate everyone around me
Coffee Shop AUs I need as someone who works in a coffee shop

AUs where both of them are baristas:

  • AU where business is really slow so Person A and Person B start doodling on the hot sleeves for the cups and compete to see whose doodles the customers like better and then A starts doodling on B like hearts or some cute shit

  • The new manager (Person C) is an Asshole and is making them scrub the floor with bleach (been there, done that, it sucks) and they bond over complaining about C
  • Dealing !!! with annoying customers!!!! And standing up for each other/bonding over the assholes! Example annoying customers from my experience as a barista:
    • That customer who orders a cappuccino not knowing what it is and then getting upset when its not a latte (u baristas out there feel me)
    • when you run out of somehthing (like cold brew or the sodas in the cooler)  and they ask you to look in the back and then throw a fit bc they don’t get what they want (this happened to me once, a grown ass man threw a tantrum bc we didn’t have milk for his goddam cookies tf)
    • when you make them wait for more than two seconds to take their order/ make their drink and they get pissy
    • when its slow and the customer watches you make the drink and start making comments like bitch let me do mmy job
  • Person A and B don’t normally work the same shift but A is covering for C and goddam, B is fucking cute
  • when there’s a rush and the cafe is understaffed so its just A and B and they have to work together to make like seventeen drinks and personal space stops existing bc you gotta get those drinks made ASAP ( I can’t count the amount of times my coworkers and i have been all up in each other;s space trying to work around each other to make drinks). Bonus points if A is already pining for B and is getting flustered about close quarters. Extra bonus points if B notices and starts being a llittle shit about it and gets even more in A’s space ;)))
  • bonding over making fun of ridiculously specific drink orders (not until the customer is gone tho don’t be rude)
  • A is new and B teaches them how to make drinks and shows them the ropes and maybe starts flirting bc the newbie is a hottie ;)
  • when the rest of their coworkers + manager ship it
  • When regular customer (Person C) comes in and makes chit chat and assumes A and B are dating and one (or both) get flustered
  • CLOSING TOGETHER AND BEING ABANDONED BY THEIR COWORKERS TO CLEAN THE FUCKKNG DISHES AND IT TAKES FOREVER AND THEY BOND OVER THE FACT THAT THEIR COWORKERS ARE ASSHOLES WHO LEFT THEM ALL THE CLEANING TO DO
  • I need more coffee shops AUswhere theyre both baristas @ fanfic writers pls
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Why have them just own a flower shop when they could run a potion shop and just have a shit ton of flowers in it. 

enjoy and consider commissioning