For the record

People stealing food/ necessities because they need to survive in our shithole of a government: Zero judgment, I’m incredibly sorry you’re in this situation, do what you need to do to survive.

People stealing designer clothes and makeup because you don’t want to pay for it and you “enjoy the rush”: Absolute assholes, grow the fuck up and stop pretending what you’re doing is a “hobby”.

  • tumblr:shoplifting as a means of survival should not be a punishable offence
  • me:yes true it should be handled by social security services without police involvement because avoiding death is not a crime and-
  • tumblr:i should be able to just fucking take sephora makeup from the shop shelves scot-free because communism
  • me:you know what nevermind i hope you get arrested
Master List of Entitled Children Celebrating Being Total Losers

Need to know who the “liftshopping” blogs are to report? (“Saved since April: $3,273.80”.  Felony theft)  (has a single haul of over $8k)
http://do–you-even–  (This site appears to be new, so no stolen merch posted yet, but keep an eye on ‘em) (“Saved around 2k”.  Also felony theft) ($8.3k.  Jesus christ…) (“The bling ring of tumblr”.  Ew)
http://snatch–  (url has since been abandoned, and is now being used by a new person that is NOT a lifter) (this user has since taken a stance AGAINST shoplifting blogs)
http://snatch– (THEY’RE EVEN POSTING TIPS ON HOW TO FUCKIN’ RIP PEOPLE OFF)  (The lolita-based lifting thugs are especially appalling to me.  There are many great blogs that show you how to get lolita style at affordable prices) (“it’s all roleplay, chill”)  Yeah, no. (this one appears to have changed urls, but the current name is unknown)

These blogs don’t appear to be dedicated lifting blogs, but they’ve sure as hell posted a lot of stolen merchandise in the “liftshopping” tag:

These people commonly put in their descriptions that they are “roleplay” blogs to try to cover their asses.  Unfortunately for them, they also have that little tendency to post pictures of all the merchandise they’ve stolen, list the stores they’ve stolen from, and provide tips on shoplifting.  

These people have been using the following tags:

  • Liftshopping
  • Liftplay
  • Lifting
  • Liftshop
  • Lifting tips
  • Lifting tip
  • Shoplifting
  • Shoplift
  • Shoplifting tips
  • Shoplifting culture
  • Hauls (to show off their stolen goods)
  • Shoplifting haul
  • Shoplifting hauls
  • Lifting haul
  • Lifting  hauls
  • Lift haul
  • My hauls
  • Our hauls
  • Lifting rp
  • FiveFingerDiscount
  • Five finger discount
  • 5fd
  • Klepto
  • Boosting (the term they use for selling stolen goods, meaning that THEY AREN’T EVEN ALWAYS STEALING FOR THEMSELVES)

There’s a good chance they will begin using new tags after this, but plenty of evidence can be found in the above tags.  They’ve also begun using the term “swap”.

Many of these people will likely change their urls (some have started using “thrift” in place of “lift”), change “lift” to “lft”, add an extra letter at the end of their url, or start deleting posts showing what they’ve stolen.  ARCHIVE THEM WITH THE INTERNET WAYBACK MACHINE, AND THEIR BLOGS AND POSTS CAN STILL BE ACCESSED AFTER THEY DELETE THEM.  Here’s how to do it!  And if I missed any in this list, feel free to add them!

Don’t let these spoiled little brats continue to make life difficult for people who actually work for a living.  There’s a huge difference between being forced to steal in order to live due to abject poverty, and being an entitled little brat that steals designer bags and other luxury items that aren’t necessary for survival.  They pretend to be the former, but we all know they’re the latter.  Nobody needs hundreds of dollars worth of expensive cosmetics and designer bags to survive.

If you find yourself unable to use the report forms, you can also email staff at:

You can also report these sites to the FBI using this handy form.  Just be aware that there’s a 3,000 character limit.  You are more than welcome to use this link to save space.

However, once again:  Do NOT personally harass these people.  Just expose, archive, and report.  Let staff and law enforcement take care of the rest.

(Big thanks to all those that contributed to putting this list together!)

death match between the serial killer fandom and the shoplifting fandom to determine which is composed of the more annoying children

serial killer fandom

strengths: know many anecdotes about hurting people they can’t execute, may carry box cutters, can craft a mildly annoying poking instrument out of plastic utensils

weaknesses: may trip over their trench coats, inability to see due to hair being combed over eyes, parents insist on early bed-time

shoplifting fandom

strengths: poor grasp of economic theory, made-up justifications, ability to reach further than any group alive makes them flexible, larger amounts of disposable income due to stealing make-up

weaknesses: rendered unable to function by an employee following them around, if given a job they stop being part of the group, may have to leave battle early to do community service

Jean and shoplifting.

Okay here’s a story for you guys:

So I used to work at this toy store, and I had a coworker, let’s call her Jean. Jean was around 67 and she was working there because it was something to do, and she was a great person, gave her money to charity, bought lunch for people for people who didn’t have any, offered to buy stuff for families who couldn’t afford it, the works. The thing is, she worked in the front-ish where all the little $3-5 toys were and I was a cashier, and a lot of people would lift from her section. A LOT. The toys were small and easy to hide, and the kids (I’m pretty sure it was always kids, after all, an adult has the decency not to steal, right?) would just take them while she wasn’t looking and run to their parents.

Well, one day I’m off and Jean is working but I’m there anyway because I’m looking at Pokemon cards and I get an employee discount, and I see a group of four kids (three girls, one boy) around 14-15 come on and head straight to Jean’s section. Two of them have purses, but given their age and the fact that I also have one I don’t think anything of it. Not five minutes later they run out the door, and our manager runs out of her office, yelling for someone to stop them.

Apparently those kids had stuffed $50 worth of toys in their purses and Jean had let them go. That wouldn’t have warranted much, except apparently the kids had done it before and Jean hadn’t caught them any other time either. So our manager called Jean into her office, and fired her on the spot. Maybe she thought Jean was in on it. I don’t know.

That’s what happens when you steal stuff. It’s not the CEO, or the Manager who gets in trouble, it’s the employee making minimum wage trying to feed her grandkids who gets in trouble. Next time you go lift, I want you to find an employee, and talk to them. Because that’s who you’re stealing from.

Watch on

in light of recent events i’d like to bring attention to fucking assholes like this guy who get off to tormenting people shoplifting $2-5 items.

this is why you guys NEVER LET ANYONE SEE YOU. NOT EVEN CUSTOMERS. you never know if some fucking asshole is a wannabe cop and will confront you or alert store security. lmfao.

also, guys what are y'all’s tips if someone decides to pull out a camera and tries to intimidate you?

i want to say that it’s best to ignore someone like that and walk away? maybe even drop the items? but if they have you on camera then that’d be a pretty big fucking confession right there x:

what do you guys think?

why the signs are in jail: pairs

aries + pisces: vandalising the skate park. they did some pretty great designs but pisces decided to write their full name and aries started kicking the trash cans around, alerting people around them. it didn’t help that it was only 8pm.

taurus + aquarius: poisoned the food at a restaurant because the owners were mean to them and the service was bad. taurus decided to eat a few goodies before leaving and proceeded be sick on the street whilst aquarius freaked out and went to to police for help.

gemini + capricorn: fraud. everything went to plan but then gemini decided to tell someone about it who told someone else about it who told the police. capricorn was pissed and decided to choke gemini and that’s when the cops walked in.

cancer + sagittarius: speeding on the highway. sagittarius was going 200 in their new sports car and the cops started following them in an epic chase. cancer freaked out and tried to stop the car and ending up almost killing the two of them.

leo + libra: shoplifting out of a high class store. libra uses their charm to talk to the security guard at the front whilst leo steals the goods and brings them out. what they didn’t expect were the security cameras since these two didn’t think things through.

scorpio + virgo: murdering the president. the plan was calculated and efficient. scorpio and virgo then turned on each other later on as they didn’t want any witnesses and were caught fighting by the police a few blocks away from the crime scene.

A shitty picture of a shitty policy brought on by shitty people at a shitty restaurant.

It reads: “GUEST WALK OUTS It is the server persons job to ensure that all guests, seated in their section receive great service and that all food is paid for upon the guest completing their dining experience. If a guest walks out without paying their bill, it is considered a performance issue. On the second occurrence of a "Walk Out” in a six month period the employee will be terminated.

While it’s illegal for an employer to force the server to pay for a walkout, it is NOT illegal for them to write the server up or terminate them for it.
At-will employment, and all.

Just in case any of you brain-dead morally-bankrupt shoplifter dipshits think that dine-and-dash is a victimless crime too. 

friendly reminder that thursday is thanksgiving which means friday is black friday. while most of you will be at home eating and spending time with your family, those who work in retail will be at work. on thanksgiving. we won’t get to eat (nor have we for a few years, in some of our cases). we will be working long shifts, we will be up early and staying late. some have long commutes to and from work and will only sleep for 1hr between shifts (this is my life this year). we will be working our butts off to ensure our customers get what they need for their christmas lists this year.

so please, PLEASE be kind to all the retail workers you come across this holiday season, not just on thanksgiving & black friday. we try to smile and stay pleasant during our 9+hr shifts but sometimes it’s hard when you have customers screaming at you over things you cant control. or when someone just stole $100 worth of merchandise because they think they’re too good to pay for it. or when any other numerous things could be going on in their lives at any given moment. 

please say “please” & “thank you.” when talking to us. please be patient when you ask us for something. please understand when we explain why something is against our policy. think about what you say because sometimes you make us cry even though we hate to admit it. shoplifters, you make us cry. rude customers, you make us cry. impatient people make us impatient as well. your attitude affects ours. 

a smile will go a long way, especially to us who are tired and missing our families during the holiday season. thank you. 

Guide to Shoplifting!

Hey, here for another guide to making sure you have a good haul next time you want to do some lifting!

STEP ONE: pick a store

STEP TWO: pick out whatever you want

STEP THREE: check to see if there’s any employees around

STEP FOUR: make sure you have everything you want

STEP FIVE: bring it to the check-out line

STEP SIX: strike up casual conversation with employee

STEP SEVEN: actually fucking pay for your shit instead of shoplifting

STEP EIGHT: tell the employee to have a wonderful day

STEP NINE: leave the store with your wonderful new item(s)

STEP TEN: don’t shoplift in the future either since you could get employees in serious trouble or even fired

Always remember, if you think that there is absolutely nothing wrong with shoplifting and that it won’t cause any problems for employees, especially when it comes to stealing $1,000+ in goods from a store, you’re full of shit!

Shoplifting: A Short Guide

I’ve been in a mood all day after I saw the anon post from somanybadcustomers regarding shoplifting.

Here’s some points to consider next time you consider shoplifting:

  • At no time does shoplifting “stick it to the greedy corporation”
    Here’s why: THEY JUST FIND ANOTHER WAY TO GET THE MONEY THEY WOULD HAVE FOR THEIR PRODUCTS, DUMB FUCK. Lost items could be tax-deductible, and they take money out of pay and benefits for the low-level grunts that do the work that makes your valueless life possible.

  • The rich CEO won’t lose any money, and won’t be taking a pay cut because your stupid lazy ass couldn’t get a job to afford your own damn stuff like the rest of us. The CEO’s pay is based off profit and share value (among other things) and using a large corporation as an example - the items you steal won’t make enough of a dent to change their pay. Whoever thought this up was likely suffering from a severe brain injury. Like a lobotomy.

  • People suffer because of shoplifting. Think nobody is hurt by shoplifting? Wrong, dumbass! Where do you think the business will take the money they lost from? Shareholders? Nope. The CEO? No, you brain dead moron. Raise prices? Nope! Retail is incredibly competitive. A few cents extra on tube socks could cost them a sale to a competitor. Cheat on their taxes? That could work, but could also cost more in the long run. The only thing left to do is take it out of the employee pay & benefit & bonus box. So when you steal, you nasty shitbiscuit, you potentially cost somebody a raise, their bonus, or their job depending on how many of you asshats decide stealing stuff is acceptable. So every time one of you butt puppets screams out “Hurrrr to the Durrrrr RAISE MINIMUM WAGE BECAUSE GREEDY CORPORATIONS SHOULD PAY A LIVING WAGE DEEEERRRRRRRP” you’ve already stolen money from those people, and are part of the problem. Businesses exist to make money, not give it away to people who think they’re too good to pay for stuff because they’re lazy idiots.

  • Most shoplifters aren’t stealing food for their families. Don’t believe me? Check out the shoplifter tag on Tumblr. You’ll see makeup, electronics, clothes, and enough stupid shit that isn’t necessary for anything than you may have expected.

  • You aren’t taking a stand against capitalism or anything else by shoplifting. You’re just a petty thief. You aren’t noble, you aren’t making a statement, you aren’t making a positive difference, and you sure as fuck aren’t doing anybody any favors. Quit pretending you’re anything other than a thieving piece of shit. Because at your core, you’re just a useless, selfish, delusional, insipid, thieving prick.

I hate most retailers. I hated working for them and I hate shopping at them. There are a few I want to see fail horribly because of the way they treat customers and workers both.

But I don’t delude myself into thinking stealing is the way to accomplish anything of meaning. 

For crying out loud people, this isn’t quantum physics.