shoo shoo said the maiden

● ——— HOUSE OF 1,OOO CORPSES SENTENCE STARTERS.

* triggering content below, proceed to read/reblog with caution!

’ It’s all true. The bogeyman is real and you found him. ’
’ Let me ask you something. ’
’ How come you’re asking me so many jackassy questions? ’
’ You know, the crazy shit you see when you’re driving across the country. ’
’ I don’t drive cross country. ’
’ You little dickens, you. I know what your problem is. ’
’ Ya’ll think us folk from the country’s real funny-like, dontcha? ’
’ Yeah, well saddle up the mule, Ma! Slide me some grits! ’
’ I said, shut your fucking mouth! ’
’ You asshole! ’
’ Listen, you Malibu middle class Barbie piece of shit, I’m tryin’ to work here. ’
’ Work? You ever work? Yeah, I’ll bet you have. ’
’ Our bodies come and go but this blood… is forever. ’
’ I bet you’d stick your head in fire if I told ya you could see Hell. ’
’ Meanwhile, you’re too stupid to realize you got a demon stickin’ out your ass. ’
’ Have you seen this girl in the past twenty four hours? ’
’ The bigger the cushion, the sweeter the pushin’. ’
’ You know, I like ‘em with a little more meat on ‘em. ’
’ Yeah, cute kid. Ain’t my type though. ’
’ Come on clownie, just answer the damn questions. ’
’ We ain’t interested in your love life. ’
’ Goddamn, motherfucker got blood all over my best clown suit. ’
’ I said get the fuck off him/her you stupid fucking whore! Fucking slut! ’
’ Oh, really? Are you gonna do something about it? ’
’ I’ll fucking cut your tits off and shove ‘em down your throat! ’
’ Why are you doing this? ’
’ I mean, I couldn’t have asked for a better speciman. ’
’ You don’t know what kind of dry spell I’ve had here. ’
’ This can’t be real, this can’t be real, this can’t be real. ’
’ Oh, it’s real. As real as I want it to be, mama. ’
’ Fuck you, you fucking freak! ’
’ I’m the one who brings the Christmas candy. ’
’ I’m the one who beats you when you’re bad. ’
’ I’m the one who brings the devil’s brandy. ’
’ Who’s your daddy? ’
’ Now tell me, who’s your daddy? ’
’ Come on, sweetie. Give the old man some sugar. ’
’ I’m the one who loves ya when you’re fucking dead! ’
’ We like to get fucked up, and do fucked up shit. ’
’ Take his gag out. It’s more fun with the screaming. ’
’ Please don’t kill us, please don’t kill us. ’
’ That screaming is much more exciting that way. ’
’ Please don’t kill us… nah… please don’t kill us. ’
’ Shut your mouth and get your shit in the box. Get in now. ’
’ Wait, wait, wait… I wanna say goodbye. ’
’ Goodbye, sweetie. We could’ve been great. ’
’ Ain’t we just having a fucking hoot? ’
’ Just let us go, I swear to God we won’t tell anyone. I swear… ’
’ Get your fucking ass up, boy. ’
’ Come on, we ain’t got all night. ’
’ Where does she think she’s gonna run to? ’
’ She gonna run all the way home? ’
’ Where does she think she’s gonna run to? She gonna run all the way home? ’
’ Huntin’ humans ain’t nothin’ but nothin’. ’
’ They all run like scared little rabbits. Run, rabbit, run. ’
’ I hate fucked up families. ’
’ But most of all, fuck you! ’
’ Shit, I can’t do nothing with this now. ’
’ For the lot of me, I do not understand why you hang out with that asshole. ’
’ Well hell, arn’t they all? All they want to do is eat and fuck. ’
’ Well, if you knew him better you might understand his urges. ’
’ You know what his favorite thing is next to whacking his weasel? ’
’ He takes a sharpened pencil, sticks it in his eyeball and twists it. ’
’ He doesn’t hurt himself. He kind of twists it next to his eyeball. ’
’ Oh, he’s been putting that pencil someplace other than his eyeball. ’
’ What did you see? Who was she with? Where was she going? ’
’ They was nosing around… asking a bunch of stupid questions. ’
’ I figured, what the hell? Can’t do no harm. ’
’ You can shit ten bricks for all I care. ’
’ You miserable motherfucker, I ought to leap over this counter and bash your fuckin’ balls in! ’
’ Hand over the cash box, and I might leave your brains inside your skull! ’
’ Hey, I know you. You work down at the hardware store. ’
’ They call you ‘Little Dick Wick.’ They even sing a song about you. ’
’ Hands up! Keep your paws where I can see 'em. ’
’ What the fuck is that supposed to mean? ’
’ Well, shit the bed! Howdy folks, come on in! ’
’ I’m sorry, I didn’t catch that. ’
’ Cause ya wouldn’t be fuckin’ with me, now would ya? ’
’ Better you leave here with your head still full of kitty cats and puppy dogs. ’
’ 'Shoo, shoo,’ said the maiden. ’
’ 'Come, maiden,’ said the rabbit, 'sit on my tail and go with me to my rabbit hutch.’ ’
’ The doctor is in! Its your ghost host, with the most! ’
’ You like blood? Violence? Freaks of nature? ’
’ Go into the garden and drive out the rabbit. ’
’ You know we like to get fucked up? ’
’ Wakey, wakey, eggs and bakey! ’
’ That is it! I’m gonna count to ten and you’re gonna hand over all the cash. ’
’ I’m gonna splatter your grease paint mug across the state line! ’
’ Hey, Poopy-pants. What’s new? ’
’ Is that all? Now, I want you to think really hard. ’
’ There’s cops outside! ’
’ Oh, don’t worry about it! How many were there? ’
’ Fucking pigs always come in packs. ’
’ I’ll go around back and take control like I always fuckin’ do! ’
’ Here take this go down stairs and play nice. ’
’ How? Now, that is a question worth examining. ’
’ Buddy, look around. Would I be surprised? ’
’ How much we owe you? ’
’ Go buy yourself a new name… ’
’ That ain’t gonna break my bank, hon. Here, keep the change. ’
’ If I wanted to listen to an asshole, I’d fart. ’
’ You sure this fella’s supossed to ride with us in this car? ’
’ This just don’t seem right to me. ’
’ Well listen, it ain’t up to us. ’
’ I just hope he don’t get in my way’s all I’m sayin’ all right? ’
’ The guy’s an ex-cop and figures he can be a help some. ’
’ I’d say these kids got a cold six and are out getting shitfaced right now. ’
’ I sure hope you’re right. My guts are telling me different. ’
’ You’re spidey senses tinglin? ’
’ I myself always favored for the hulk. ’
’ Whatever you need to do, you do it. ’
’ If someone needs to be killed, you kill 'em. That’s the way. ’
’ If someone needs to be killed, you kill 'em. ’
’ Don’t scream, don’t move. ’
’ Sweet baby Jesus, girl. What the hell happened to you? ’
’ Oh, there’s a whole bunch of people been looking for your ass, girl. ’
’ All right, all right. Just sit back and relax. I’ll get you to a doctor. ’
’ You gotta have the marshmallows, that’s what makes it fun. ’
’ Ain’t the only thing tasty in this house. ’
’ Whoopy-fucking-doo. ’
’ Hey wanna play a guessing game? Guess what number i’m thinking of. ’
’ Hey wanna play a guessing game? ’
’ No wait please come on stop it! What do you want? ’
’ Please be quiet I don’t wanna slip. Ok one more. ’
’ You get this right, i’ll let ya go. If you get it wrong you are fucked! ’
’ Let me take a guess here, y'all are having a Halloween party tonight huh? ’
’ Well you sure are buying a whole mess of holy water for two people. ’
’ I’m going to cut you like a pig and make you eat your own fucking intestines… ’
’ Why are you, Why are you doing this to me? Why are you doing this? ’
’ Come on sleeping beauty, time to go to work. ’
’ No please, let me sit this one out. ’
’ You’re the one who wanted to be a photographer. ’
’ The door’s locked. I’ll gotta go around… wait here. ’
’ Christ, you scared the shit out of me. ’
’ You, my dear worm feeder, are about to become immortalized. ’
’ These are all my dolls. ’
’ These are all my dolls. I used to like to chop their heads off and their arms and stick 'em up on the wall. ’
house of 1000 corpses sentence starters (triggering)
  • "Let me ask you something. How come you're asking me so many jackassy questions?"
  • "Oh, you shouldn't have done that!"
  • "Huntin' humans ain't nothin' but nothin'. They all run like scared little rabbits. Run, rabbit, run. Run, rabbit. Run, rabbit. Run rabbit. Run, rabbit, run! RUN, RABBIT, RUN!"
  • "'Shoo, shoo,' said the maiden. 'Come, maiden,' said the rabbit, 'sit on my tail and go with me to my rabbit hutch.'"
  • "Shut your mouth!"
  • "Listen, you Malibu middle class Barbie piece of shit, I'm tryin' to work here."
  • "Have you seen this girl in the past 24 hours?"
  • "Why are you doing this?"
  • "Behold... Fishboy!"
  • "We like to get fucked up, and do fucked up shit."
  • "Please don't kill us, please don't kill us."
  • "Wait, wait, wait... I wanna say goodbye."
  • "I hate fucked up families."
  • "But MOST of all... fuck YOU!"
  • "Shut your trap."
  • "Give me a "B", give me an "A", give me a "B" give me a "Y", What's that spell? What's that spell? WHAT'S THAT SPELL?"
  • "Wakey, wakey, eggs and bakey!"
  • "That was so badass!"
  • "Better you leave here with your head still full of kitty cats and puppy dogs."
  • "He's a real lady KILLER!"
  • "Hey, Poopy-pants. What's new?"
  • "There's cops outside!"
  • "So, how much we owe you, Goober?"
  • "You're spidey senses tinglin'?"
  • "I myself always favored for the hulk."
  • "Whatever you need to do, you do it. There is no wrong. If someone needs to be killed, you kill 'em. That's the way."
  • "Sweet baby Jesus."
  • "What the hell happened to you?"
  • "These are all my dolls. I used to like to chop their heads off and their arms and stick 'em up on the wall."
  • "You gotta have the marshmallows, that's what makes it fun."
  • "Whoopy-fucking-doo."