"You’re so annoying. You can’t keep breathing down my neck you know,” he snickered.
For years I’ve been watching him grow. His Teiko days, his bad habits and his recent encounter with Touou Academy’s ace that didn’t end well. Nevertheless, I’ve always had enough strength to stay by his side even after everything he’s done. I’ll continue to do that and watch over him, helplessly trying to fix the mess he makes. After all, there was only one person that could handle and had the best chances to tame the man. Me. I was the only one that would be by his side forever. Nothing attached or anything, just only because I had enough time to get used to this guy and his shenanigans. Him. Haizaki Shougo.
"We’ll see you in a week, honey. Remember to check the mailbox everyday and lock the doors when you’re in your room or not around here,"
"I’m not seven, mom, I got it,"
The sound of the main door clicking meant peace for the next seven days. Even after knowing that, I had to drag myself to the room.
Some nights you would just feel down for no apparent reason when you feel like you’re not suppose to be. This was just one of them.
Sigh. He was always ready to get himself into all sorts of trouble, and I would always be ready to pick himself back up and cover for whatever trouble he’s caused. I never ever did yell at him for the things he does though. There wasn’t any reason to do that. It wasn’t easy doing this hell of a job of picking him back up, since it could happen anytime anywhere, but I still stuck to it. It was definitely easier than remembering to lock the doors of this house that just got abandoned by my parents.
Fifteen minutes to midnight. Knowing that bastard, he’s probably either screwing around in some meek little chick’s bed that was gonna end up empty by morning or up running around in streets being problematic.
I placed my phone on standby incase he needed me. I took a quick shower to get my mind off things. I wasn’t even thinking about anything in particular, really. Or was I?
It had been a good few minutes staring blankly at the light pink walls of the bathroom enclosing me and the endless pouring of water from the shower head. The scent of lavender coming from the bar of soap in my hands, ready to be lathered all over my body. Feeling my hands tightened around the bar of soap, droplets of water coming from another source soon mingled with the ones that came from the shower.
I can’t do this.
I surrendered, and let the emotions flowed for the rest of the time that I’m going to spend curled up naked and cold in this shower. Alone.
"What the fuck are you doing?”
Or maybe not.
I didn’t even bother trying to cover up. I wanted to ask him why on earth he’s here but my mind was too clouded to speak. That’d be pointless and too overdramatic anyway, as if being a pile of sobbing mess in the shower isn’t already dramatic enough. So weak. He’s going to laugh at me for the rest of his life.
"The fuck are yo– Damnit"
He was frustrated, just like how I always see him as. But something deep inside me tells me that frustration wasn’t the only thing that he felt this moment.
The calming rhythm of running water from the shower was gone. A second of shiver ran through my body as a reaction to suddenly being exposed to nothing, before feeling the soft dry fabric being thrown and hung around me. I’m sorry you had to see this, I’m sorry Haizaki. I will stand up myself now.
If only I could.
My legs gave up on me.
Five foot and hella angsty female could help the massive six foot two Haizaki Shougo regardless what but couldn’t even pick herself up no matter how much she tried. How ironic.
“Oi, don’t scare me,” I was hurriedly carried up bridal style and put to bed, then enveloped by even more towels. No amount of warmth would be enough to melt the ice cold feeling I was having on the inside.
But was Haizaki actually panicking?
Now I’ll have sometime to laugh back at him. But first.. for now, let me.. just..
I’ve never held on to something so tightly before. I’ve always had my pride, always never needed anyone else to depend on. It makes me want to laugh even at this point at how ridiculously I must look clinging desperately onto someone like Haizaki Shougo.
I’ve already surrendered, and what else was there to lose? I tugged his gray sweater, a little stronger each grip, pulling him close to me and just praying he’d got my message. I couldn’t care less about anything else other than the fact that he was right here beside me and giving me the kind of warmth I’ve wished for years.
"Ah fuck, wha–? Tch, I’m not gonna go, baka,” For a moment I thought my eyes were decieving me when I faced him, and that my ears and mind teamed up to lie to me, thinking that I heard only what I wished to hear.
The look upon his face says it all. His gaze was not only focused but also felt like it was penetrating through me. Every feature on his face was tensed up and they showed signs of sincerity. Genuine.
Haizaki was dead serious.
I’ve got to snap out of this pool of mess. What the hell am I doing getting comfort from Haizaki? My stomach twisted in knots that hit every single nerve in my body, making me shake. I feel trapped in so much misery. My fingers were crawling deeper into the cotton of his sweater. Slowly it was getting stained with my tears. I was.. scared. This is getting out of hand. I.. need to.. breathe. I need t–
"I’m a jerk," He casually murmured, eyes still locking with mine. Deep in his pupils you can see it all. He wasn’t going to lie about anything he’s going to say next. Stop, Haizaki. Just stop. This guilt trip of making you say these isn’t what I need now.
”I know, alright. I know I’m not even one of your choices to go to when you have problems,” His hand hovering over mine, trembling a little, then grabbing and squeezing it.. surprisingly gentle. Years in my life I’ve never ever seen Haizaki this way before, and almost like at a loss of what to do.
“But give me some face and just depend on me for now, won’t you?”
It wasn’t really considered a reason to be okay again, but it was enough for me. Sealing my eyelids, I leaned into his chest and allowed the soft but quick rhythms of his beating heart soothe me to sleep. This was definitely something new.
Forcing my way out of the classroom and I found myself stuck in the middle of a crowded hallway. Even though it was packed, there’s someone that would always catch my eye. Haizaki Shougo was at a dark corner of the stairways, pinning up another one of his preys against the wall, casually feeling her up. This time it was a brunette. Skirt length not far away from the knees, decent hair tied up in a ponytail and actually wearing a tie. Definitely a scholar student trying to live her life and getting excited over a bad boy chasing after her. A straight A student perhaps. The neatly fastened and shined badge on her collar gave it away. What nerve of this guy target a member of the school committee.
My analysis was quickly put to an end when we had a moment of awkward eye contact. His hand were still busy underneath her half unbuttoned blouse and her loosened tie but his eyes never left mine. Pay attention to her, doofus. I couldn’t help but gave a grin in reply to the intense eye staring. He appeared confused for a split second but was back to his usual smug face and gave me one of those arrogant smirks. We both knew that she was going to get ditched really badly right away after he had his fun.
He never told me the reason why he appeared out of nowhere that night. Not that it was really needed to know, because I already had a guess that I’m so sure of was true. Haizaki Shogo can go ahead and do all the girls he want, but none of them was gonna ever find him breaking apart. All they would remember is that infamous smirk upon his face and the licking his fingertips after achieving what he wanted. Not the desperate and concerned look upon his face when he saw me alone in distress. It was the only thing that the both of us knew and shared. Haizaki would’ve never let anyone knew about him being in such a weak and vulnerable state like that night. He’d kill anyone that laughed at him for it.
Kill anyone except me.
He’d laugh right at back at me for being a pathetic mess, and I wouldn’t mind at all.
The number of girls he has slept with might just keep getting bigger by time, but all that matters is that we both know when the right time comes, we’d both be each other’s lasts. It’s still hard to believe it now, but I will hold on to that promise.