shoe did this not me

favorite quotes from “IT” 2017

-“what is it, Greta? am I a slut, or a little shit?”

-“look at this mother fucker! he’s leaking hamburger helper!”

-“he thrusts his fists against the posts and still insists he sees the ghosts”

-“is she hot?” “… no, Richie! she’s not hot!”

-“is this not real enough for you, Billy? am I not real enough for you?!”

-“ROCK WARRRRRR!!!!!!!”

-“it’s basically… piss and shit, so, I’m just telling you!”

-“‘please don’t go, girl!’”

-“I’m glad I got to meet you before you died”

-“no!! do not fucking toucH ME!”

-“hey why don’t you shut the fuck up Einstein”

-“walking into this house, for me, is easier than walking into my own”

-“oh gosh! oh geez!”

-“I heard the list was as long as my wang” “that’s not saying much”

-“where’s my shoe?”

-“did you want one from me, too, Mrs. Kaspbrak?”

-“they’re gazebos! they’re bullshit!”

-“eggboy”

-“hang tough, new kid on the block”

-“do you even know what a staph infection is?!” “I’ll show you a staph infection!”

-“do you think this will help me, Eds?”

-“hiya, Georgie!”

-“wHAT THE FUCK

-“…fear…”

i was just wondering why ben platt never wears shoes whenever you see him in pre-show photos and videos. like, does the man hate wearing shoes or something???? i mean, honestly:

and it just dawned on me that the reason he doesn’t wear shoes before the show is BECAUSE HE DOESN’T WEAR SHOES AT THE VERY BEGINNING OF THE SHOW!!!! HE PUTS THEM ON DURING ‘DOES ANYBODY HAVE A MAP’!!!!!!!!!! i was agonizing over why he doesn’t wear shoes. i was honestly so confused because literally everyone else is wearing them but he isn’t????? 

Day One Hundred and Four

-I witnessed a young girl in a tiara being pushed around the store, the soundtrack to Moana being blasted from an indeterminate location. She has figured it out. She is living the true Disney princess life.

-Two squabbling toddlers came through my lane. As expected, stickers soothed the savage youth instantaneously, turning them into pinnacles of behavior. I am convinced that I have been unwittingly brought into a Snickers commercial as the Supplier.

-A man zoomed past my lane, hustling and hobbling on his way towards the bathroom, his eyes darting all around, his hands clutching a hidden object beneath his shirt. I am grateful for the shoplifters who opt to take it easy on me. It is far too early for me to be at the top of my game, and I appreciate the handicap. 

-A boy chanted, “Circle paint. Circle paint. Circle paint.” He grasped a wooden circle and a bottle of paint. I suspect that he intends to coat the circle with the paint. Only time will tell.

-Moments after being berated and ridiculed by a pair of elderly women, I was visited by a pair of puckish toddlers. Somehow sensing how crestfallen I had become, they stepped up their antics, making the most absurd facial expressions and noises in a heartfelt attempt to cheer me up. I am pleased to say that their endeavors were a positive success.

-I passed by a mother sternly explaining to her two year-old son that, were he to smack my manager, he would be sent directly to jail. I am not sure what he could have done to warrant such a warning, but this child does not seem too likely to heed it.

-A woman asked if we carried shoes. I told her that we did. She asked me where they were. I gave her detailed directions. She continued with her purchase. I asked her if she would like to go back to look. She told me that she was not interested in shoes. I do not know what I was thinking to presume as much of her.

-While attending to urgent corporate business, I found a comic book pamphlet entitled, “TITANIC” sitting on the toilet paper dispenser. Upon further inspection, I have found that it is a Christian story of how the Titanic hit the iceberg due to one man saying that he hated Jesus. This is not the first piece of religious literature, or religerature, that I have found in this stall, and I cross my fingers that it will not be the last.

-A woman asked if the shirts that she had just purchased had pockets. After I confirmed that they did not, she explained that she was worried as my shirt did. The shirt that I was wearing was by no means the same style, type, or brand, and had come from a different store, but I am a firm believer that it is always better to be safe than sorry when it comes to pockets.

me: i like justin timb-

jeongguk: did someone say timbs??? with these shoes💯💯💯they call me justin seagull💸💸💸like my sunbaenim justin bieber sunbaenim🔥🔥🔥i love timbs, timbs are the best💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻they are what makes justin seagull the best of the best💦💦💦 the other members💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻don’t compare, because i got🔥🔥🔥timbs💦💦💦gods creation, like justin bieber sunbaenim💸🔥💦you don’t compare to me because i am jeon jeongguk💯💯💸meme god and president of the justin bieber sunbaenim fanclub with my timbs💸💦💥and member of the charlie puss fanclub with five golden stars like spongebob sunbaenim💥💯💯💯

This is more of a fun prank than ‘illegal’, but I like to think the boys would still try to destroy the local competition around Gravity Falls.

a lil something for the @stanchez-summer-sizzle

Pro tip: do not, I repeat, DO NOT, go shopping with Bandstand’s “You Deserve It” going through your head. You will impulse buy everything in sight and not feel the slightest bit ashamed until the charge is rang up at the register. Do not recommend.

The Jealousy’s Evening

for the anon who sent in this amazing prompt, thank you! 


Today wasn’t Castiel’s favorite day. The past few days hadn’t been his favorite day. A lot of things were currently not okay and all he could do was fake a smile and get on with school, with life.
It wasn’t that he was allowed to complain - in the end Dean had never been his in the first place. But seeing him kiss Lisa… it hurt. It hurt seeing them together, so close and happy. 

Of course, Castiel didn’t have any feelings for Dean, he was just upset that he was losing his best friend. They had been close for a long time, stayed over at each other’s houses a lot, slept in the same bed, shared clothes and did everything together. They were inseparable, until Dean started dating Lisa. 

For Castiel it had been out of nowhere when Dean had told him he and Lisa were a thing. At first, he’d just been slightly annoyed, but when days passed he began to realize how much it influenced him and his friendship with Dean. Way more than he wanted to admit. 

He just wanted the old Dean back, spend time with him doing nothing- hang out on the roof and talk about school or Dean’s father being a dick and Gabriel who’d stolen from the candy shop. That was ages ago and Cas was probably never getting that back.

Dean never wanted to hang out and ‘do nothing’, had not once suggested to take a ride with the Impala and watch the sunset while sipping beer as they sat on the hood of the car. The only thing that was the same, were them staying over at each other’s houses, doing homework together and their movie night on Friday. 

At least, Castiel thought.

Keep reading

Touch-and-go

 Pairing; Kim Namjoon x Reader

 Words; 8.6k

Genre; Angst, fluff, smut

Summary; You had fallen for Namjoon, the guy you’ve been sharing an apartment with a long time ago, but he wasn’t the type to settle down into a relationship. One night you both end up sleeping together, but what then would become of your relationship?

Keep reading

do you ever have class with that one person who keeps glancing in your direction? and you’re really confused? because you’re making eye contact with them every 10 minutes? and you’re not sure if they’re looking at everyone or just you in particular?? maybe someone right next to you??? what is happening

BTS Reaction to Their Bestfriend Accidently Confessing to Them; Jungkook Version

Originally posted by officialwookkibby

Word Count: 1,179

“Y/N! C'mon, hurry up! You move like an old lady!” Jungkook whined as you slowly got out of your car, checking and making sure that you had everything that you needed.

“Jungkook, the fair isn’t going anywhere.” you teased like a mother would to her child. Jungkook held open your door impatiently, hopping slightly from excitement. When your butt was finally out of the car, Jungkook slammed the door shut, grabbed your hand, and dragged you off to the entrance of the fair with a large smile on his face.

“I know, but I wanna go and spend as much time with you as possible!” he said, happily skipping into the fairgrounds with you trying to keep up from behind.

You chuckled and shook your head, gazing at his backside with a certain longing in your eyes. You and Jungkook had met that same year at university, in your intro to psychology class. You sat in the back of the lecture hall, since you arrived late and didn’t want to be scolded by your professor for tardiness on the first day. Jungkook sat four seats down to your left, obviously, he hadn’t woken up to his alarm either.

Your relationship went from shy smiles, to throwing notes over the empty seats, to him sitting next to you with your knees brushing and up to your best friend status that you proudly held today. However, you couldn’t deny the attraction you had for your adorable, yet cocky best friend and oh how you wish you could just tell him how you felt. For now, though, you were happy being one of his closest friends; supporting him through his studies and his dream of becoming a singer.

You took in the smells of the fair; powdered sugar, fry oil, and something buttery and fattening that made your mouth water. Jungkook’s eyes shined with excitement as he led you to a funnel cake booth, buying you both one to share as you wandered into the petting zoo area, sneaking the baby animals bits of your fried, sugary goodness.

“Hey look, I found your dapple gangers.” you teased when you ran over to the hordes of bunnies. Jungkook just stuck his tongue out at you, but cooed none the less when one of the rabbits crawled into his lap. As you were petting the bunnies, Jungkook gently grabbed your hand, locking your fingers together with his. You looked up at him and saw that he had a slight blush on his cheeks and another bunny perched on his shoulder, making you giggle at his cuteness.

“You alright Kookie? You’re looking flushed.” you asked, running your free hand over his forehead and pushing some of his hair back. Jungkook just smiled and squeezed your combined hands.

“Never better Y/N. Let’s go on some rides, yeah?” he suggested, gently placing down the balls of fluff and leading you out of the petting zoo; walking with you to the rides. He never let go of your hand, and you inwardly smiled to yourself. Sure, Jungkook was always close to you like this, but the small victories always counted.

He took you on some fast-paced rides first: the little fast kiddie coasters, spinning teacups, bumper cars (which you totally beat him in, even though Jungkook wouldn’t admit it aloud) and one of those drop-down rides that always made your stomach do flips. After begging him to allow you to sit and rest, he placed you on a bench by the game booths and you watched him play from afar.
He won game after game, and slowly the bench you sat at was covered with fluffy stuffed animals and a new fish friend that you both named Marius.

“Jungkook, there is one thing I’d like to do before we leave.” you told him as you shared a serving of blue cotton candy. Jungkook’s lips were tinted lightly with the dyed sugar, and you were sure that your lips mirrored his. In a large bag over his back held all the toys he won, and you insisted that you’d carry Marius safely in your hands.

“Yeah? Anything you want Y/N, we can do!” he said happily.

“Can we go on the Ferris wheel? The sun is setting, and I bet the view is amazing from up there.” you said dreamily. The corners of Jungkook’s lips pulled up in a smirk and he nodded.

“Of course, anything for my best friend.” he said, nudging your side playfully. You could feel your heart slow and the smile on your lips fall an inch.

“Yeah, best friend.” you mumbled quietly to yourself as you followed Jungkook to the Ferris wheel. You both secured your winnings in one of those large storage containers and hopped on the ride. Jungkook sat next to you and he poked your cheek when the ride started to move. You went around once, twice, and then the cart stopped at the top on the third spin.

“Wow, it’s beautiful.” Jungkook mumbled, staring at the pinkish orange hue of the dusk sky. You nodded.

‘It is, but it’s not as beautiful as you.’ you thought.

“You think I’m beautiful, Y/N?” Jungkook asked. You turned to look at him with confusion in your eyes. Did he just read your mind? The stupid smirk on his face made your cheeks feel hot with blush.

“Did I just say that out loud?” you asked sheepishly, looking down at your shoes.

“You did, you did. Is there something you’d like to tell me Y/N? Do you like me?” Jungkook teased.

“Not funny Kookie, don’t tease.” you said softly, taking a deep breath before looking up at him again. His lips were still blue, the mischievous glint in his eyes made him look younger, and you couldn’t help but fall even more in love with the cute, yet handsome man sitting next to you.

“I do…like you. And I hope that this won’t ruin our friendship. Because before anything you were my friend first and I hope that we-”

Jungkook cut you off with his lips gently pressing against yours. You could taste the remnants of sugar on his lips and you melted at the feel of how soft they were. You brought your hands up around his neck, pulling him in closer as his hands moved to cup your face, his thumbs stroking the soft apples of your cheeks. The kiss was slow, both of your lips just brushing together in between soft breaths, testing the boundaries and just feeling, tasting, and loving. Jungkook pulled away first, resting his forehead against your own as you both caught your breath, both your cheeks flushed in red.

“I’ve wanted to do that for a while now. Does that answer your question Y/N?” he asked softly, a small smiling tugging on the corners of his lips. You nodded and laughed airily.

“Kookie, you look so cute when you blush.” you admitted, and Jungkook grinned, leaning in to peck your lips gently as the Ferris wheel started to descend.

“And your blush is absolutely stunning…my jagiya.”

girls can get bees???

You and Jimin getting caught in the rain and then running like crazy to find cover, losing your flip flops on the way and falling into the mud…

But you’re still laughing like kids the entire time

Daddy A-Z: Johnny

Originally posted by withsuh

Disclaimer: I couldn’t find the original poster this came from, but I got this from philanddanxreader, I didn’t come up with this. 

Donate | Masterlist

A = Announcement.- How do you tell him and the world that you’re expecting?
I feel like Johnny and his s/o would be that annoyingly cute couple that does elaborate birth announcements that go viral. Telling Johnny would probably be along the lines of doing it on a holiday and giving him a present that’s like…baby shoes and he’s just looking at you like ‘why the fuck did you give me doll clothes’ until it smacks him in the face that 'these are….oh fuck’ and he’s immediately crying. Telling the world and the members would probably be lowkey troll-ish. Like just dropping hints here and there like, “me and mama are going shopping, but i dont think these clothes will fit either of us”, or walking around with an obvious ‘#1 dad!’ shirt and waiting for someone to ask wtf that’s about so he can just smuggly reply ‘lol yeah, imma be a dad.’

B = Books.- Did he read the books?
Johnny read a few. More likely he read the books you bought. With Johnny, I feel like he’s one of the guys that takes a mommyDaddy and Me class, babysitting, things like that to actually experience taking care of a baby, rather than reading about it. 


C = Cuddles.- Who cuddles the baby more? 
Giant tree dad Johnny is 100% glued to the kid. The majority of the first few months, Johnny doesn’t let the baby out of his sight, his tiny offspring is always in his arms, he’s going to be the parent you walk in the room and see him passed out in the rocking chair with his baby on his chest, sleeping.


D = Daddy.- His reaction to being called Daddy and it setting in. 

Being big dumb Johnny, I swear he’s going to constantly be wearing his ‘dad’ shirt, so the entire world knows he’s a dad. But the moment someone actually calls him Dad, he’s just going to end up a big, dumb, smiley mess and giggling like ‘yeah, im dad, woo’

E = Empty.- Who goes to the store when you guys run out of supplies?
You can bet your ass that Johnny’s going to have one of this kid pouch things that you strap your kid in to like a bulletproof vest. He’s done strapped himself and the bub in and heading off to the store before you can even tell him there’s no milk. He knows. He’s on it. 


F = Feeding time- Who does feeding time?

Johnny, he’s like a master on getting baby ‘whines a lot’ to eat. But then again, Johnny ends up making a bigger mess feeding the babe than the baby making a mess eating. Better get a rag.

G = Grumpy baby. - Who is better at dealing with a grumpy baby? 

Johnny is the king of getting a pouty baby to laugh, with his dumb faces and soothing voice. All Johnny really has to do is talk near the baby, and instantly, it’s like sunshines and rainbows touched the kid and the baby is as happy as can be again.

H = How?- how many kids does he want?
I feel like Johnny is more of a less is more, kind of guy. He’ll probably be the one to only want one, or two at the most, just to keep it a small, and warm family. Easier to keep track of when you’re at Disney Land every other weekend. No kids will be lost.


J = Jokes.- best dad joke? 

“What do you call someone with no body and no nose?
Nobody nose XD”

K = Kisses.- His favorite place to kiss the baby.
Johnny’s such a nose kiss kind of dad, and you know it. Whether it’s with his s/o or his bub, he’s giving those good ol’ eskimo kisses, it’s his thing.


L = Little.- How he feels when he holds the baby for the first time.

I bet you anything the first thought he has when the baby is put in his arms is ‘fuck….its little.’ And then probably cries, because it’s so little, and cute, and you and him made it, and fuck he’s a parent holy shit.

M = Mommy.- what does he call you? 

Johnny’s so Daddy and Mommy kind of dad. He’s definitely getting you matching shirts, mugs, stickers for your car, everything. 
Mommy and Daddy. 
<3

N = Nappies.- who deals with the really bad ones? 
This will probably be the only thing Johnny argues over in the relationship; who has to deal with the poops. 9/10 it ends with rock, paper, scissors, and 8/10 times he loses and has to deal with the stinky diaper.

O = Onesies- Who likes to dress the baby in ridiculous outfits? 
Johnny dresses pretty well, I think? I don’t think he’d be the one to make the baby look like a sideshow performer, that’ll probably be on your hands lol.


P = Pet names- names he calls the baby. 

Dammit I’m hurting myself, fuuuuuuck. Johnny’s a fcking giant, you know he’s going to call his kid his ‘little one’ you know it, I know it, the frog in my fish tank knows it. 

Q = Questions.- How many questions does he ask the nurse? 

I don’t think Johnny will ask too many questions, if any at all, after going through the classes and stuff. I think he’d be more inclined to ask questions about his s/o’s well being and how to help minimize the after birth stress and pain.

R = Rely- what is the biggest thing you rely on each other for? 

Most cases it’s emotional support. I feel like you’d rely on each other to just remind one another that this is the hardest part, and it’s going to get better. Johnny’s certainly the comedic relief in the relationship, so he’ll be cracking jokes when you’re ready to give up, and comfort you, and the same to him.

S = Sleep duty. - who gets up when it’s really late at night? 

Johnny’s such the perfect husband material that it hurts my soul. He’s definitely the one that gets up at night more often, it’s probably along the lines of 80:20 on who gets up more. He’s determined to give you as much sleep as possible, and after all, he is the master at calming his baby down.

T = Trepidation.- fears as a new parent. 
I feel like his biggest fear as that he’s not going to be taking his role seriously. It’s a stressful time, and jokes are his coping mechanism, so he’ll probably be terrified that he’s acting like a clown more than a father, and while he is doing the absolute most, he’s afraid he’s not pulling his weight while he’s joking instead.


U = Ultra sounds.- His reactions to the ultrasounds.
Lord knows the water works cut lose hard when he saw the blurry image of his baby wiggling around on the screen. He practically had his face pressed against the screen, and sobbing about how ‘that’s our baby! we made that! holy shit we’re having a baby’


V = Values.- what is the most important value he wants to teach your child.

Although he doesn’t show it, I’m sure he’s seen the hate towards him, and he either doesn’t let it get to him at all, or he’s just holding it together well. I feel like he’d be one to instill the ‘love yourself’ thing in his kid. Because honestly, if you’re confident in yourself, no one can knock you down.

W = Water.- Who gives the babe the baths? 
Because Johnny’s usually the one that made the mess, I feel like he gives the baby baths more, and it’s more like a joint bath. ‘fuck, kid puked on me. well, might as well kill two birds with one stone, lets go baby pukes a lot, bath time’


X = X-mas- what do you guys plan for the holidays? 

Holidays are so fun with Johnny and you know it. He’s probably got you all wearing cheesy family sweaters, and sent Christmas cards to everyone. Holidays with Johnny are those extremely cute family movies, it’s all warm and fuzzy and full of love.

Y = Yelling.- How many fights do the two of you get in? 

Again, I don’t think Johnny would fight with you over anything with the baby, besides the chocolate diapers. He’s relatively calm, and even when he’s mad, he’ll fume on his own, rather than blowing up at you.

Z = Zoo- How crazy is the house after the birth?
It’s literally that: a zoo. There’s applesauce on the ceiling, there’s toys clogging the toilet, is that Johnny’s puke on the rug or the baby’s, god only knows. I’m pretty sure you’ll need to hire a full time maid, or let Taeyong be your house mate to clean that mess up, good lord…