DAVID: I hope this won’t sound impolite Or come across as too forthright But even though you seem alright, I… Think I’m better than you!
Now please do keep this thought in mind That’s just my personal conviction You’re smart and fun, you’re sweet and kind I’d call our friendship an addiction
Your shoes are shined, your breath dulce But still I find I have to say, I… Think I might be better than you!
DANIEL: You seem impressed with what you’ve shown But I don’t find it that compelling You’ve sung my praise but not your own And well, I think that’s pretty telling
But while we’re on the subject of How I’m superb and leagues above, you Ought to know I’m number one
I know that might be hard to swallow This hurts you just as much as me But when this song is sung then you and I’ll know That you’re just a nobody
DAVID: Well friend I don’t know what to say
DANIEL: Try starting with your resignation
DAVID: Let’s end this in the finale
DANIEL: I’m dying from anticipation
DAVID (and DANIEL): You’re really great, but let me state (You’ve been outdone) You definitely seem to hate (Now I’ve really won) The fact I’ll break you, abdicate (But it was fun) Before I can asphyxiate, I… (Your end’s begun, and…)
Think I might be better than you! (Now I know I’m better than you!) Don’t hate me because it’s true! (And I’ll prove it to you, too!)
Just know, I’m better than….. (So watch as I identify The skill to show I qualify Like keeping up this camp charade And tricking kids to drink kool-aide To sacrifice them–