shocked expression

Just saw that “sea lion drags a girl into the water” video, and I’m personally not going to share it.

But what I would like to share is this:

when the hell are we going to start remembering that wild animals are wild animals??? I mean, this is a wild sea lion. These things easily reach eight feet and 600 pounds. Males are extremely aggressive and territorial. And the people in the video are treating it like a goddamn puppy! Right until it reminds them all that it’s not, that is. Then suddenly it’s shocked expressions, “I can’t believe that happened, can you believe that happened, nobody could have seen this coming!”

Please, please respect wild animals.

2

The comissioner said she needed a more “shocked” and less “confused” expression. I figured while I had it open in SAI I’d try a different eye shiny style

Teen French expressions

For if you want to make hip young friends.

Disclaimer: French people complain a lot. A lot. Don’t be surprised if 90% of these expressions are complaining.

  • Non mais oh - say this if someone does something mildly annoying and you want to express your shock and distaste.
  • Tu me fais chier - (alt. tu me fais chier, là.) literally ‘you make me shit’. means you’re pissing me off.
  • Carrément - translates to ‘squarely’. Means ‘literally’. If someone tells you something surprising or annoying, you can answer simply “ah carrément.” see: tu me fais carrément chier.
  • J’hallucine / je rêve - are you annoyed by something? say these.
  • C’est pas possible - a classic. anything bad happens - c’est pas possible. There is no cheese left? It’s not possible. I’m hallucinating. This is a burden on me that solely I can bear I cannot believe this is happening.
  • Ça commence à me gaver - I’m starting to get real sick of this. see: Ça commence carrément a me gaver , putain.
  • T’es relou - verlan slang for ‘lourd’ meaning someone’s heavy, personality-wise. They’re tedious.
  • Ça me saoûle / ça me gonfle - similar to gaver, means something’s pissing you off, you’re sick of it.
  • Grave - totally.
  • C’est clair - totally/that’s clear. Like ‘claro’ in spanish. “Justine elle est trop relou” “C’est clair. Elle me fait chier.”
  • J’en ai marre - I’m sick of this.
  • J’en ai ras le bol - I’m sick of this.
  • J’en ai ras le cul - I’m sick of this (vulgar).
  • (J’en ai) Rien à battre - I don’t give a damn.
  • (J’en ai) Rien à foutre - I don’t give a fuck.
  • C’est bon, là. -  That’s enough.
  • Perso, euh, - “Personally,” generally used at the start of a complaining sentence, to express how personal the matter is to you. Perso, euh, c’est bon là. J’en ai ras le cul.
  • Rôh là - general expression of distaste. Le longer the rôh, the more annoyed you are. Rôôôôôôôôôôôôôôôôôôôôôôôôôôôôh, c’est quoi ce bordel.
  • C’est quoi ce bordel ? - translates to “what’s this brothel”, means “what’s this shit?!”
  • C’est de la merde - It’s shit.
  • C’est une blague ? - Is this a joke?
  • Idem - ditto
  • J’ai la dal - I’m hungry
  • Ça caille - It’s freezing
  • Ouf - two meanings 1. phew or 2. verlan for “fou”, meaning crazy (as a noun or adjective). “Kévin, c’est un ouf! Il fait du vélo sans casque!” “Ouais carrément, c’était un truc de ouf!”
  • Kévin - there’s a running joke that all the young delinquents seem to be called Kévin.
  • Crever - slang for “to die”. Va crever, connard!
  • Connard/Connasse - c*nt, but a lot less vulgar in french peoples eyes

And finally,

T’es con. No English translation can express the power behind the words “t’es con”. While it may sort of translate to “you’re a c*nt/idiot”, it expresses something much deeper. You really are a god damn fool.

anonymous asked:

Any chance you have anything with fake dating/boyfriend for hire turned lover fics? >w<

Thanks for these requests! This is a fun AU! As always, let me know if you have read another fic that you think should be on this list! 


Fake/Pretend Relationship


When Life Gives You Lemons, Add Sugar by shereadsthestars, Mature, 7.7k
What could possibly be worse than getting stuck with a roommate you weren’t expecting? Discovering that roommate is none other than Viktor f*cking Nikiforov. I LOVE THIS FIC SO SO MUCH! 

Impostor Syndrome by renaissance, Mature, 61k 
At some point, most people with a childhood crush will imagine meeting their idol, and might even pretend that they’re dating. This is the story of how Yuuri Katsuki meets his childhood crush, and how they pretend that they’re dating. LOVE!

A Katsudon for Two by koi_ling, Teen, 8.6k (WIP)
Yuuri wakes up with a headache and a new boyfriend. (an AU in which Yuuri and Victor pretend to be dating because Yuuri’s mom is too worried about her son staying solo for his whole life) This is SO good so far, hoping for more!

Looking for a rhythm like you by Cesare, Teen, 12k (WIP)
“I know we only really met yesterday, and this may be skipping ahead a lot,” says Victor, “but would it be all right if we told people we’re dating?” Thumbs up!

The Power of Love by kiaronna, Teen, 19k (WIP)
Yuuko and Yuuri dominate the singles skating competition as Japan’s power couple—except they aren’t a couple, and when their old skating idol stumbles into their personal life, everything rapidly goes downhill. SUCH a good fic!

The nostalgic feeling of the familiar by myoue, Gen, 11k
Yuuri’s the one who suggested being fake engaged in the first place, tugging Victor along on such a convoluted plan at the start of cherry blossom season. This is great!

It Doesn’t Have to be a Lie by Recesskup, Not Rated, 54k (WIP)
Yuuri is not outgoing. That’s why when Phichit supplies Viktor as his fake boyfriend he’s bringing home for Christmas he nearly dies on the spot. And in all Honesty, he’s not quite sure how he managed to convince Viktor Nikiforov to play the role of his pretend boyfriend. And he’s even more at a loss for words when he remembers he has to go along with this for two weeks. Highly recommend!

locker room talk by thehibiscusthief, Teen, 1.3k
“Yuuri, I… I really like you! Will you go out with me?” Kenjirou cried. Yuuri froze. The reporters surrounding them fell silent, cameras trained on Yuuri’s shocked expression.
“Um…” he began. “I can’t, because…” His eyes desperately darted around the room, searching for an acceptable answer. “Because I’m already in a relationship! With someone very special. Um.”
Kenjirou’s face fell. “Who is it?” he demanded. His bottom lip was quivering, tears pooling in his eyes.
“Viktor,” he blurted. “I’m dating Viktor.” Cute one-shot!

Hide the Mistletoe by cosmicthief, Teen, 10k (WIP)
Yuuri has a problem. Maybe more than one.1. He just got broken up with.
2. There are five days until Christmas.
3. His mom’s expecting a date at their celebration. Awesome fic, hoping that there will be more!

It Was Simple Until It Wasn’t by marihy, Teen, 7.3k (WIP)
It was simple really. Yuuri wanted revenge on his cheating ex, and Victor needed someone on his arm to appease his parents. The solution to both of their problems was a fake relationship. Nice and simple. But of course, these things rarely stay simple. Great fic!

Rent A Date! by Y3Melisa, Gen, 3.8k (WIP)
Yuuri ‘rents’ a fake boyfriend to bring home so that Minako-sensei will stop trying to hook him up with her ballet class students. Victor, the most popular bachelor on the site, gets chosen. I really like this fic so far!

you are the best thing that’s ever been mine by JMonCheri, Mature, 13k (WIP)
Wherein famous actors Yuuri Katsuki and Viktor Nikiforov are forced to fake a relationship for mere reasons such as fame, money, and for teenage girls to make thesis long rants about them on Tumblr. Rec’d by a follower!

never could be sweeter than with you by nihonlove, Teen, 13k (WIP)
Back in highschool, Yuuri Katsuki was basically every stereotype of an unpopular nerd rolled into one. Since then, he likes to think his life has improved in miles. But when an invitation to his highschool reunion arrives, it forces him to take a longer look at his life and his relationships. Particularly with one certain friend he’s been in love with for years and who now wants to help Yuuri through his reunion by pretending to be his boyfriend… Really good!

FUTURE HEARTS | PT.6 [M]

pt1 | pt2 | pt3 | pt4 | pt5 | pt6 | (6/?)

pairing: jimin x reader, jungkook x reader

genre: smut, angst / punk!jikook

word count: 17,335

note: inspired by the anime/manga “Nana” / music playlist

description: It was everything, from his tattoos, to his touches, to the way sweat rolled down his neck as he strummed into his guitar on stage; everything about him completely enthralled you. So why are you now, two and a half years later, on a train to Seoul, telling a complete stranger the recollection of how you became fated to forever have scars on all of your future hearts due to the happiness, but most of all the pain, that came along with falling in love with Jeon Jungkook.

cr.


The slight tremble in Jimin’s fingertips developed into a full-blown tremor as he closed the door to his studio, effectively leaving you behind — but it wasn’t that simple. It wasn’t that simple because he wasn’t just leaving you behind. He was leaving you behind with a guy that you were completely in love with… Which kind of blowed considering he was starting to fall for you himself.

The music from the party was reverberating inside of his chest and he knew that his ears should be ringing with anger, but instead he just felt numb. It was like he couldn’t hear anything; no music, no crowd, nothing. It was all one giant blur that didn’t seem to make sense to him, and all because his mind was screaming that nothing else mattered right now — nothing except for you.

Jimin knew very well what leaving you in that room with Jungkook meant. It meant every single feeling that the two of you had ever had for each other would inevitably rekindle, and compared to what Jimin had with you, even if he did consider it one of most amazing stints of time of his entire life, it didn’t hold a candle to what you and Jungkook had, and probably always would have.

Keep reading

→ nudes, not flowers (pt. 1)

Originally posted by bangtannoonas

☆ pairing → Hoseok x reader x Jungkook

☆ genre → fuckboi!au, smut 

warning  public sex, slight voyeurism/exhibitionism, dirty talk, dom!junghope, demeaning names during sex if you aren’t into that, jealousy

☆ word count   → 5.5k

summary   → you’re not supposed to fall for Jung Hoseok and his repertoire of awful pick-up lines – but you do. the problem is: he’s afraid of commitment, and bolts at the idea of settling down. you decide to stay far away from fuckboys, but his friend decides to test your new found resolutions

or : Jungkook wants to see how far he can push Hoseok until he snaps 

→  pt i | pt ii

a/n  → …. why tf did i do this to myself!!! (this is just smut that i had to split into two parts rip)
anyways tagging @kstopping @gxtsmxt @thotmi bc nothing says i love you like a junghope smut am i right



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Tantalizing

Originally posted by jikookfantasy

Tantalizing: 01 02
Ship: Jungkook | Reader
Description: Back in high school, you were nothing more than a nerd Jungkook wanted to deflower, to get a good fuck from. When he sees you at the club, though, things have changed drastically, and his dominance starts to teeter on the edge.
Warning: Cumplay, Degrading Names, Angst, Intercourse, Oral, Orgasm Denial, Thigh Riding
Word Count: 5,965

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BTS reactions to a foreigner speaking perfect Korean

A/N: I love when the boys are shook. so this was really fun to write! Thanks for requesting!!! -amelia

Seokjin:

He is on your level. He starts throwing out random english words trying to impress you after you impressed him with your fluency. “Pizza! P-I-Z-Z-A. I love pizza!” You also love pizza, and share your feelings for the food in korean. Jin and you are just having a fun time joking around and his english skills are actually impressing you quite a bit.

Originally posted by hohbi

Yoongi:

He’s a lil salty because he had mentally prepared to utter a few words to you in english and now he’s not prepared for a whole other conversation. He makes it through, a little exasperated at the end but he still enjoyed conversing with you. Annoyed but intrigued that you were so intelligent and he loved what you said about his music, making that annoyance wash away.

Originally posted by kim-taehyungieee

Hoseok:

You had him fooled. When you walk up he immediately goes ‘Oh hello~” but when you begin to say your reply in korean, his face completely alters into a ginormous smile. He hardly lets you get a word in as he praises your speaking ability, then he moves onto your hair and realizes since you can communicate with him… he should let you say a few more words but it was hard to remember the format of a fan meet since he was looking at a beautiful foreigner.

Originally posted by hoseokxx

Namjoon:

Namjoon always feels a close bond to international armies, as he could communicate the best with them. Even though you knew korean he wanted to continue talking to you in english, to impress not only his members but so the K-amrys could also be impressed. His talk with you was long and sweet. He praised your intellect and joked about the other members, who were side eyeing because they knew something was up with your laughs. 

Originally posted by jaayhope

Jimin:

He tossed you the softest smile as you approached him and he greeted you very politely in english. After he said hello he looked kind of lost, but you saved the conversation explaining you were fluent. He laughed out loud because he was relieved, he loves international armies but it’s easier for him to express himself in korean. He said you had a different style to you, and he liked talking to someone refreshing. 

Originally posted by parkjiminer

Taehyung:

Every army Taehyung meets is greeted with the same amount of AHHHH. He was super cute and bubbly with you until you started speaking korean and he was just stunned. He wasn’t expecting that. After he got over the initial shock, and you finished laughing at his shocked expression he went back to being AHHHHH, but this time, in korean.

Originally posted by suga-com

Jungkook:

CAUGHT OFF GUARD. His high school career of english lessons flashed before his eyes in a blur and all of the sudden he snaps back to reality and your speaking korean? He needs a minute. On this day, Jungkook was definitely Jungshook.

Originally posted by liveforeverneversaynever

Mock up the courage

Bucky x reader

Notes: fluff, just pure fluff. 

A/N: Bucky is tired and needy and just wants to cuddle. (who. fuckin’. wouldn’t?!)

Originally posted by sebastianobrien

If there was ever something more adorable than Bucky being tired or in any way not feeling well, you’d never seen it. Now, the serum made sure he was never not feeling well, but it didn’t help exhaustion after a week long mission with only 2 hours of sleep a day.

This is why he came stumbling into your floor, somehow overriding every security protocol with his left over spy-skills, calling out your name at two in the morning.

Actually, it was more like a drawn out whine.

Keep reading

Heartbreaker

“Here.”

Cas reads the label and turns the tape over in his hands. “I don’t have a cassette player,” he concludes as he holds the cassette back out to Dean.

Dean gets up from the kitchen table and pushes it back toward Cas until it’s right up against his chest. “I’ve been in that truck. There’s a cassette player.”

“Well, I don’t know how to–”

“Cas,” Dean says, leveling him with a glare. “Take the damn tape.”

Cas flips it over in his hands once again, looking down at it studiously. When he looks back up to thank Dean, he finds himself alone. He looks around the kitchen, but Dean is gone.

He tucks the cassette into the inner pocket of his coat and pats it once to feel the solid weight against his chest.

****************

“What’s that?” Sam asks jovially as he joins Cas in the library. 

Cas tucks the cassette away quickly and clears his throat. “Dean gave it to me. It’s a cassette.”

Sam looks up quickly from his computer, a shocked and amused expression on his face. “A cassette? He gave you a cassette?” 

Castiel squints at him. “Yes?”

Sam looks down at his keyboard, huffs a short laugh, straightens up a bit in his seat. “What’s on it?”

“It says his top 13 Led Zeppelin traxx, ‘tracks’ with two x’s,” Cas recites from memory.

“You haven’t listened to it yet?”

“I…no, I haven’t.”

Sam nods as he says, “Well, uh, you should. Dean doesn’t just–he doesn’t even let anybody touch his tapes, man. That’s…a really big deal that he gave you one.”

Cas presses his hand to his chest. “I’m not sure he meant for it to be a big deal.”

“Yeah, well.” Sam shrugs. “Listen to it, at least.”

****************

Cas is sitting in his truck, holding the tape in his hand, staring at the radio and wondering where to put the damn thing.

The passenger door creaks open and shuts. Castiel doesn’t look over.

“Oh fuck, I was wrong,” Dean says with a small laugh. “There’s no cassette player in here. C’mon.” He doesn’t wait before getting right back out and heading over to where the Impala is parked on the other end of the garage.

After a moment, Cas follows him. He hesitantly gets in on the passenger side and hands the tape over to Dean.

A couple of seconds of silence pass before the music quietly pours through the Impala’s speakers. Dean leans his head back against the seat and puts his arm up on the backrest of the bench. His fingertips brush lightly against Cas’ shoulder.

[listen]

Cas can’t quite hear all the lyrics, but he knows it’s something about being lonely and missing someone and he wants to ask Dean when he made this tape, who he had in mind when he made this tape, who this was really meant for, but the words get stuck in his throat.

As the music washes over him, he closes his eyes and leans his head back as well. After a minute, a hand brushes through his hair and Dean begins to hum.

Cas opens his eyes and looks over, and Dean’s head lolls to the side as he gives him a lazy grin. 

“You like it?” Dean asks, his hand still carding through Cas’ hair.

Cas prefers his own music, but maybe he could get used to this as well. “I like it,” he concedes.

“Good,” Dean replies, his head falling back against the seat once more. “I could sit here all day.”

Cas scoots a little bit closer to the driver’s side. “I could, too.”

Nobody deserves to be forgotten- Tree bros/ Connor X evan

Tagging: @sticki-notes


Somehow, despite all odds, Connor had survived. His dad was furious with him, yelling about how he threw away everything he was given, Zoe was completely silent, fury in her eyes, and his mother was … heartbroken. They sent him to rehab, and Connor knew that deep down they all wished he hadn’t woken up.

He sighed, twitching slightly as he tried to get used to being without drugs, they had given him nicotine patches to help ease him into it but it barely helped. They had also put him on mood stabilizers, to help him out with his anger issues and depression. Getting him to take them was a fight every morning.

It had been a week and nobody came to visit him, and frankly it was exactly what Connor expected. It wasn’t like anybody noticed him.  It wasn’t like anyone gave a damn.  He looked up at the sound of footsteps, sneering at the nurse.

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Open To Interpretation: Negan x Reader

Originally posted by jdm-negan-mcnaughty

A/N: Ya’ll. I’m so fuckin’ swamped in responsibility. I feel a lil guilty about coming back with something non-Rami but fuck it. Some other things I wanna say: Send me anything. Send me asks. I wanna answer you guys’ questions. Be nosy as hell. Also, I have something you might be interested in coming up after my birthday which is in like 2 weeks. Please feel free to request more Negan stuff, I’m branching out bitches.

Masterlist 

Warnings: Inappropriate teacher/student relationship (student is of legal age in the US and UK), smut, the usual. Also, I wrote the character a little more like myself bc I feel like I keep writing the same kind of reader and its getting tedious. Hit my inbox if this is you af. ALSO HIT MY INBOX IF YOU’VE EVER HAD ANY KIND OF TEACHER/STUDENT RELATIONSHIP? SPILL THE TEA I’M NOSY.

Word count: 4448  


“Preserving innocent life, orderly living in society, worshipping god, educating children, and reproducing.” His deep, gravelly voice fills the lecture hall. All his students are enraptured, a rare thing for many teachers. He pauses before continuing. “What are the issues with these precepts that Aquinas put forward?”

You bite your lip anxiously. Answering questions in class isn’t an issue for you, in fact your teachers often tell you to give the other students a chance, but your Philosophy and Ethics professor makes you somewhat nervous. Tall, late forties, gorgeous black beard with silver streaks and piercing hazel eyes. The recipe for a crippling medley of anxiety and attraction.

Despite this, impressing him and getting your grade is often the reason you manage to pluck up the courage to respond to his queries, his opinion of you is something you are very conscious of. You glance around the room to see no one has raised their hand. You decide to take one for the team, slowly lifting your arm from the desk.

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His || Jungkook || 0.16

Member: Jungkook x Reader

Type: Angst, Fluff, Smut.

Teaser | 0.1 | 0.2 | 0.3 | 0.4 | 0.5 | 0.6 | 0.7 | 0.8 | 0.9 | 0.10 | 0.11 | 0.12 | 0.13| 0.14 | 0.15 | 0.16 |

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