13x09 “The Bad Place”

Can I just express real quick how well executed this shot was? The way the entirety of this moment in focus and sounds makes clear that just entirely too much is rushing through Dean’s head right now to properly process what Sam and him just saw. I love how Sam’s and Jack’s voices were falling away and got muffled and how these shots really showcased Dean being in some sort of shock and lost in his own head. How much do you want to bet that what Dean thought and felt in this moment was something along the lines of being disgusted by himself for not having believed she may still be alive, for “giving up on her”? How much do you think Dean hates himself right now and feels guilty and ashamed that he did not do more to find her? Yeah, and how much do you think he may also think back to that time that he escaped purgatory, but how he also felt like hell for leaving Cas behind and then later on losing Benny, because he didn’t want to return. I know it’s mostly my headcanon, but judging from Dean’s expressions here and how they shift from utter shock and disbelief to something looking more like determination and barely contained rage just reminds of so many of the scars Dean still carries around with him and that he still feels such guilt for. Ugh… Dean!!! ;___;