Steven Universe Headcanon Corner: Sapphire what the FUuUCK
So a lot of fandom has settled on Sapphire being The One Who Has Her Shit Together Every Day All The Time with Ruby being considerably more erratic. Which is fine! I’ve read dozens of fancomics to that effect and found them to be pretty cute!
But canon has shown that Sapphire tends to get so absorbed in the future that she neglects the present, with the implication that this is somewhat of a regular behavior from her.
So just picture for a second: Sapphire getting so caught up in her visions that she’s constantly doing shit like leaving her purse in restaurants and Ruby’s the one always going “Sapphire wait!” and whenever they pack for the beach or something Ruby’s always bringing a million or so extra items in case Sapphire forgets something and she usually forgets something. Is there even the slightest chance that Sapphire will forget sunscreen? Ruby is going to pack all the sunscreen in the house because Sapphy’s gonna need sunscreen. Because let’s be real: Ruby’s baseline state is Worry and she doesn’t even need to be able to magically divine the seventeen different ways you can die a bloody death just by walking up the street to the doughnut shop to give herself an ulcer worrying about it, and when Ruby worries about something, she doesn’t just worry, she acts on it. by packing all the sunscreen in the house and then burying you in it when you tell her you need some sunscreen.
“Sapphire why are you only wearing one shoe.”
“I was beckoned inexorable hands of fate.”
“And then I forgot about the other one.”
“Sapphire how is it that you can plot the best possible time to get the premium cable package based on what a meteor shower’s doing three galaxies from here but you can’t think to but on BOTH shoes BEFORE you leave the house??”
“Can’t you see? This is clearly the will of the universe. I am fated to be a one-shoed deviant who embarrasses you in public for all of eternity. It is inevitable.”
hi , can you write something about Haizaki , Aomine , Kagami , Akashi and Kasamatsu reaction to their gf suddenly fainting when they were taking a shower (on their own) thank you !
Kasamatsu: A pink hue dusted his cheeks as he lay on his bed flipping through a basketball magazine, it had raining quite heavily this afternoon to the extent that umbrella proved to be quite pointless, drenched and on the brink of pneumonia you two arrived at his place. He kindly offered you some of his clothes as he suggested you take a nice hot shower before you got sick. A loud thump broke his though process, jumping off the bed he hurriedly approached the bathroom door, he was about to pull it open when he remembered that you were em well-blushing furiously he shouted ‘______! Are you alright! Did you fall?! Hey!”
“I’m, I’m alright!” You called out, hoping your boyfriend wouldn’t catch on that you were sobbing, he did. “O-oi hey are you crying?! D-did you break something!-Oi-” Panicking, he stood there frustrated, knowing he couldn’t do anything until you came out of the bathroom and when finally came out (2 minutes later), he lifted you up princess style and carried, barking at you for ‘walking’ on the bruised ankle. He proceeded to take care of you for the rest of the afternoon.
Aomine: He’s twirling his pencil absentmindedly as he stares at the math homework that’s due tomorrow. Man this sucks, he had better things to do, like make out with you. You guys had come back home after your sunday morning basketball session, he was done with his shower and was now waiting for you so he could just copy your answers. Math was a dumb subject anyway, and it had nothing to do with basketball so he didn’t give a damn; all he needed was a pass anyways so-”BLOODY HELL!” His eyes widened in alarm, “______! Oi What happened?!” He called out as he approached your bathroom door. When you called out from the other side that you were okay and you just slipped. He sighed in relief, “Baka! Were you dancing or something?”
Akashi: You had invited your boyfriend over to help you with your homework, your worst subject was certainly giving you the time of day and upon brink of the high possibility of getting another D for the upcoming test, you decided it was about time you surrender to your boyfriends constant nagging. After a gruelling 3 hour session, you decided to take a refreshing shower to reenergise yourself. Akashi waited patiently for you, as he marked your work a proud smile donned his face, you were doing very well, and if you continued like, which he was certain you would a B was well within your grasp. “OWW!” Akashi turned in alarm, briskly approaching your bathroom door, he called out your name. “________! Did you fall? What happened? Should I come in?” When you flusteredly told him that you were okay, just a little bruised he began to worry. When you finished your shower you opened the door to find Akashi had prepared the bed for a massage. “Here love,” you turned around to see Akashi offering some pain killers and a couple of ice packs.
Kagami: He was cooking a delicious dinner for you whilst you took a shower. Honestly it was the least you could do, you worked really hard to tutor him in several subjects, man he could be such a baka when it came to school work; and you were so nice to him, always encouraging. He chuckled as he remembered a time when he was struggling with a rather horrible math topic and you told him no, he wasn’t an idiot, it was just that Algebra had a nack of being like one of your nasty evil ex’s times. A loud thump, followed by a stream of hilarious insults, broke his thoughts. Panicking, he ran to the bathroom, “______! Oi ________! Are you okay? Hey what happened?!!” He shouted from the other side. “I fell, and no i’m not okay, why? oh, well, BECAUSE I FELL! ON. THE. BATHROOM. TILES!” Worried, he began to panic a little, ‘did you break-” “just bruising, but It still hurts! I’ll be okay though, just continue cooking.” After a good minute of coaxing he finally left to continue cooking and when you were done with a shower he triple checked to make sure you were okay; before handing you an ice pack, and throwing some blankets on you.
“Dinner will be ready in 15 minutes.”
Haizaki: He’s laying down on your bed scrolling through facebook with a grumpy pouty look on his face. When you two came home to your place after a strenuous exam filled day, the first thing you did was head off to the shower; and when he had kindly offered to help you out with that laborious task (he knew just how exhausted you had been) you rudely rejected his offer by clonking him on the head. Honestly the one time he’s nice, tsking he opens up youtube and midst hilarious prank video he hears a loud yelp. Alarmed he jumps off the bed ; barges into the bathroom and wrenches the shower door open. “OI! Sho!” Embarrassed you use your arms to cover up your, ahem lady parts. “What the hell happened?!” He asks, unfazed by your naked form he offers his hand, “Can you stand?” “Yeah, but could you please hand me my towel first,” Sighing, he hands your towel, “See you should’ve taken up my offer in the first place,” he says with his signature smirk.
Hilarity in the original eraser stamp making session:
Jun’s: “This Year’s Me” makes me happy with the purple and pink (which I’m blatantly interpreting as subtle RED okay?)
Sho’s: “I’m back” elicits screams of terror?laughter? intense reaction from the audience. Really, Sho?
Masaki’s: his two-pronged approach creates “Please take good care of me Nittere-san” Nandarou-kun (Jun clarifies that “It IS a bird right?”) and “Riddled-with-Injuries Masaki” stamps. Aiba-chan~ gambare~
Kazu’s:His initial confidence in presenting his own creation… only leads to his own embarrassed laugh?
Satoshi’s:His “Stylishly Suspicious Person” serves to tickle everyone, and especially Jun who asks if it’s actually Johnny-san. After trying to hide his creation, he fails to convince that it’s “just a suspicious character” when Kazu outs him for calling his own company president “a suspicious character”.