shizaya confession

Pairing: Shizuo/Izaya
Theme: modern!au: confession

“I think I’m in love with you.”

Izaya adjusted the black rimmed glasses perched on the bridge of his nose. “Oh?”

“I’m falling in love with you,” Shizuo said quietly, voice dry and skin prickling with warmth. “I… fucked up.”

“…That’s not nice to say.”

“It feels like I can’t breathe without you,” he said after swallowing thickly, averting his eyes. “…I can’t live without you. I don’t…”

He hesitated and brought a hand up to push his unruly bangs away from his eyes, teeth worrying his bottom lip for a minute. Izaya said nothing; he just watched him and tilted his head.

“You’re everything to me,” Shizuo said finally and looked up. “You’re a piece of shit. You’re rude, you’re childish, you’re selfish, you can be immature. But you’re loyal. And… even though there are things that we can never agree on… being with you makes me a better person. It makes me think about things from viewpoints I never would’ve considered. It makes me… braver. You make me brave.”

He looked up again, smiled.

“…Yeah. You make me brave. Ever since I was a kid, I just wanted to protect the people I cared about. But… I got angry so easily. And I got violent so quickly. I fell in with the wrong crowd and when we met in high school… that was probably my low point. I was skipping class despite knowing how it hurt my parents and Kasuka to see me like that. But you never gave up on me. You… kept bringing me lunches. And bandaged me up when I didn’t want to go to Shinra’s. You sat with me and helped me with the lessons I missed. …I graduated because of you. I went to college because of you. …You saved my life, Izaya.”

“You taught me how to be more patient… that being kind isn’t a weakness. You taught me that sometimes overcoming a fear can be worth it. You were the one person… who never gave up. Even when I yelled… and did stupid shit. You were always calm and, fuck, I don’t know how you did it… you’ve got to be some kind of superhero except you’re not. You’d be the antagonist. Yeah. Antagonist.”

“…But I’m in love with you.”

He relaxed and closed his eyes, leaned forward until his forehead bumped to Izaya’s.

“More than anything, I’m in love with you.”

It was quiet for a few moments. Izaya’s eyes were half lidded, smiling slightly as he looked at Shizuo. He could feel the warmth radiating from him and just sighed, patting Shizuo’s hand that held one of his own. “Shizu-chan, yes, I know all that. This is why we’re married. Go back to sleep, you’re still running a fever.”

He helped him lie back down, pulled the blankets up to his shoulders. Izaya leaned back so the curve of his spine met the headboard again as he continued reading. He felt the weight of Shizuo’s arm drape across his hips and smiled, decided he only needed one hand to hold his book and ran the fingers of his other one through Shizuo’s hair.

“You’re so cheesy, Shizu-chan…”

Requested by anonymous

Pairing: Shizuo/Izaya
Theme: au!confessions

“I like someone.”

In all the years they’d had been best friends–which was seven, Izaya had calculated–those words had never been said. He looked up from his lunch in surprise and it took a moment to settle the immediate rising jealousy, giving a smirk as he watched Shizuo uncap his milk and take a sip.

“Ah, I see… that’s rare for Shizu-chan. Congratulations must be in order, hm?”

Seventeen-year-old Shizuo, as far as to Izaya’s knowledge, had only ever had a crush on the milk lady. Since then, he seemed more preoccupied with milk and pastries than crushes and that was probably why Izaya’s immediate not-very-fitting-of-a-supportive-best-friend reaction.

He never had to face the idea of losing Shizuo, so he didn’t know what to do when it seemed to be happening.

Giving a small shrug, Shizuo shifted a bit awkwardly. “Not really… I don’t know if he feels the same way.”


“What kind of a person is he?” Izaya asked, taking out an apple and biting into it. “I’m curious as to know who caught Shizu-chan’s eye…”

“He’s…” Shizuo hesitated before rubbing his nose. “…Tactless. He’s annoying sometimes… like how he always gets the top grade in the class without even studying. He says that my taste preferences seem to have forgotten to grow up and still always takes a sip of my milk because–”

“Oh, God.”

Feeling his chest seize immediately, Shizuo looked up. Had Izaya figured it out?, he thought, heart racing; he knew that Izaya was smart and while part of him wanted him to know that he was the one Shizuo was in love with, the other part was terrified as to what it would do to his friendship.

When he looked over, Izaya looked appalled and disgusted and Shizuo felt his heart break.


“Izaya, I–”

“Is it Shinra? Shizu-chan’s in love with Shinra?”

“…What the fuck–”

Shizu-chan, trust me, Shinra is not the kind of guy you want to be after–”

“He’s not–!”

“He’s worse than I am, even if he says he isn’t. I’ve seen him set fire to ants and I know that Shizu-chan likes to protect ants–”

“Izaya, shut up, you’re the one I’m in love with!!”

Heiwajima Shizuo never thought he’d manage to catch Izaya speechless and gaping.


“Really,” Izaya says, leaning in so close to Shizuo that he catches the ends of blond hair at his lips. “Who really enjoys weddings?”

“Shut up,” Shizuo says without looking at him. When he swings his knee wide the impact bruises against Izaya’s thigh; Izaya would cringe, if he were the sort of person to cringe at just a bruise. “People who care about the bride and groom are supposed to be happy for them.”

“Sure,” Izaya drawls, tipping his weight in to push back at Shizuo’s knee against his leg. “If we could hide in the crowd and not be up on display with them.”

“Like that’s stopping you,” Shizuo says, reaching for his wineglass. Izaya watches his throat when he swallows, the motion of the action working just over the white of his collar and the dark of his tie. “You’re being exactly as irritating as you always are.”

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Requested by anonymous

Pairing: Shizuo/Izaya
Theme: confession

“I’m not quitting my job for you, Shizu-chan, and you certainly have no right to demand that of me.”

Picking up his mug and taking a sip, Izaya remained relatively calm despite being intensely annoyed. Days had passed of tense silence; he could sense Shizuo’s annoyance from even outside the apartment, before the lock clicked and handle turned. He’d glower and stare, passively be loud while putting things away in hopes of irritating Izaya.

He succeeded, but Izaya wouldn’t let that show.

This morning had been the culmination of everything; Izaya knew why. He knew, because it was his fault.

Shizuo had talked him into at least going on a date once a week. It didn’t have to be anything fancy; just dinner together, even ordering a pizza, was sufficient. This week they had agreed on Friday lunch. Shizuo had requested work off and was waiting at eleven, since eleven thirty was normally the time they’d eat.

Izaya kept working.

Twelve passed.

Izaya kept working.

One passed. Then two, then three. And then it was nine o’clock and Izaya wasn’t even sure if Shizuo had eaten all day. But he did know that Shizuo was pissed off and rightly so, but so was Izaya from his little acts of passive aggression.

“It’s dangerous as fuck and you could die! Look at you! You haven’t eaten all day because of it!”

“Shizu-chan hasn’t either and he’s not working. There could be other reasons. Shocking.”

“Why the fuck don’t you care about your own safety?!”

“Because I made a choice and it makes me happy,” Izaya murmured, eyes narrowing, the first sign of his annoyance as he looked up. “Why’s Shizu-chan getting so riled up? I missed one date and–”

“Because I’m in love with you and I don’t want you to die!”

Mouth still open, Izaya closed it after a moment and stared at Shizuo. Their relationship had always retained a certain delicacy because, after all, it was Izaya and Shizuo. That topic had never been discussed and, from Izaya’s end, had never even been thought about.

Holding his gaze for a bit longer, Izaya gave a cool sigh and closed his laptop, stood and brought his coffee with him.

“…Let’s go out for a late dinner, then.”