Imagine for me if you will, it’s a Haus party in Bitty’s junior year. Jack has come to visit so it’s pretty low-key. And by low-key I mean Rans&Holster didn’t invite people from every college in a 50 mile radius. So the hockey team is there, the whole bench though and their significant others and close friends so the Haus is still teeming with people right? And it was an unusually warm spring day so the theme for the night is beach party.
Girls in bikini tops and cut off jean shorts, Rans&Holster are in booty running shorts and crop tops. Jack is still in jeans and a t-shirt but the shades and backwards ball cap give him a laid back look as he chats with a shirtless Chowder who’s only wearing some board shorts. Nursey just wore skinny pants and a tank top and Dex is in some silky basketball shorts with a t-shirt.
The biggest spectacle after Rans&Hoster are Bitty and Shitty. In true Shitty fashion he’s showing more skin than anyone would wish but much to the relief of everyone, Lardo had taken one look at the speedo paired with his trusty jean vest, tugged him down into a chair and distracted him with kisses while sitting on his lap and covering some of that creamy white skin.
Bitty, well Bitty is embracing the efforts of the Better Bitty Booty Bureau in his short shorts and the tank top that’s been knotted in the back to show off those back and ab muscles that come so naturally to D1 college hockey players.
Dex and Nursey are against a wall, it’s Dex’s turn to drink so he’s already had a couple shots and is nursing (lol) a beer next to Nurse as they talk about class.
Then that tell-tale “Lemme hear you say ‘Hey, Ms. Carter,’” plays over the speakers and a small cheer goes up on the “dance floor” in the middle of the living room.
Dex watches the crowd part as Bitty drags Jack from the kitchen doorway to the middle of the crowd of writhing bodies dancing away to Beyoncé.
“Oh man, Bits is so fun to dance with on this playlist,” Nursey says, already pushing off the wall and taking the last swallow of beer in his glass like he’s going to leave Dex all by his lonesome along the wall.
Well. Fuck that.
“D, let Bits get it on with his boyfriend,” Dex slurs slightly as he reaches out and grabs a hold of a sweat slick bicep.
Nursey freezes and looks back over his shoulder at Dex, raising an eyebrow for good measure.
“But I wanna dance,” he pouts and Dex shrugs.
“So dance here, I wanna drink some more,” he offers and Nursey looks down, only when Dex follows his gaze does he realize he’s still holding Nursey’s arm, even though he stepped back to stand along the wall again.
“You want me to dance here?” Nursey asks speculatively, looking pointedly at the lack of space and the people milling around not dancing.
Dex goes to take another swallow of beer and finds his cup empty. After pouting for a moment he looks back up at Nursey and sighs.
“Fine you can go dance, but I’m coming with,” Dex declares and proceeds to drag Nursey into the crowd of people dancing away to the dirty, dirty words of Beyoncé.
Dex just dances for a while, lets the alcohol and the music work his muscles loose and pliant. He forgets to keep an eye on Nursey and by the time he remembers Nursey is on Dex patrol tonight instead of the other way around Nursey has weaved through the crowd and is standing right in front of him.
“Hi,” Dex says, smiling brightly. “You came back!”
“Never left, Poindexter,” Nursey grumbles but he doesn’t look all that irritated. So Dex leans in and throws his arms around Derek’s neck and goes back to moving his body with the beat.
After a too-long hesitation, Dex feels those big strong hands taking a hold of his sides and Dex smirks at Derek.
“Way to make yourself useful,” he says over the music, “now dance with me ya putz.”
Nursey shakes his head but Dex thinks he’s laughing so it’s okay.
“Never knew you could dance like this, Dex,” Nursey says a little while later when there’s a quiet lull in the music.
Dex just throws his head back and laughs because he’s not drunk (he is though) but he is having fun and since Nursey hasn’t caught on yet to the fact that Dex wants to date him, he might as well up his game even further.
“You ain’t seen nothing,” Dex purrs, dropping the words right in Derek’s ear.
He grins, wicked and sharp and pulls Nursey from the dance floor towards the kitchen. It’s even hotter in there somehow but Dex doesn’t care. All he cares about is turning his pulling into pushing Nursey down onto a kitchen chair that was left turned away from the table.
Nursey has never been so confused and so turned on at the same time in his life. William Poindexter has taken him to the semi-private kitchen for what Derek can only hope is a private dance show?? Maybe a-
His thoughts cut off when Dex plops down on his lap, long legs straddling Nursey, long pale arms loosely around his neck.
“You want me to stop, just say so D,” Dex whispers in his ear and Nursey has no hope of containing the shiver that goes through him.
Nursey is equal parts confused, awestruck and turned on. Because he had no idea that all that lithe muscle on the 6’2” frame could move like that. So sinuous and practiced and -
“Do you practice this?” he blurts out and Dex stops and gives him a look. One of those, if he had glasses he’d be looking over the rim to stare disapprovingly at him type looks.
“Not since I took that pole dancing class in high school,” Dex says flatly.
And Nursey’s brain kind of whites out at the image of Dex in shorts that just barely cover the goods, so tight they might as well be painted on dancing on a pole.
He literally loses focus on his surroundings the next thing he knows Dex is in front of him, hands on Derek’s shoulders and he’s still moving in one long sinuous line.
“P-Pole dancing, bro?”
Dex smirks and slides his chest up from where he’d been crouching in front of Nursey so close he catches the smell of his aftershave. And Derek always thought that move was overdone, I mean if Channing Tatum doing it didn’t rile him up, who would? But it is so much different when it’s a strong sweaty chest that’s attached to your best friends face and is perilously close to you when he does it. And Nursey finds himself reaching out to touch and Dex doesn’t stop him, miraculously he grabs Derek’s hand and puts it right on his chest, right in between those pale freckled pecs.
Then Dex is turning, curling in closer as he holds Nursey’s hand in place where he’d put it and then that perfect hockey ass is in his lap, swaying and circling and mesmerizing in those basketball shorts. Too soon probably Nursey has to end the private show. He can’t take it anymore and pulls Dex into his lap, wrapping his own strong arms around that beautiful chest pulling back until Dex’s weight is fully on him and his head is tilted back on Nursey’s shoulder. Nursey buries his nose there and starts mouthing at the sweaty skin.
“You’re killin me,” he grumbles and Dex laughs before it turns into a moan.
“We-” he gasps when Nursey uses just a hint of teeth. “We can’t afford the fines of desecrating Bitty’s kitchen.”
Nursey groans and buries his face where he’d been happily leaving a mark.
“So we have to move?”
Dex laughs again and pats his now limp hands that are no longer holding him in place.
“Come on, I’ll get right back in your lap once we’re in our room.”
And well, Nursey can’t turn down a promise like that.
I’VE BEEN SO VERY INTO DRAWING OCS LATELY AND ONE OF MY ALL TIME FAVES IS MONA, @punziella ‘s OC!! I was gonna draw her in something of my own design but then I decided against inflincting my quite shitty fashion sense on this muffin so I didn’t. I love Mona.
(ALSO!! Huge thanks to @kelpls (/@ipoophere) for sharing some of her brushes with us! I love them very much and you are an angel)
I decided to do a timeline of all of Taako’s costume changes pre-Stolen Century because i am absolutely addicted to this man’s style. They’re presented in the order I drew them in, starting off with Taako’s default look for each of the major arcs before drawing any major costume changes mid-arc, Interlude looks that I felt merited drawing, and filler episode/backstory looks.
More specific notes– Taako’s hair “dye” in each major arc corresponds to a different color of the rainbow except in Here There Be Gerblins where his red cloak makes up for the fact that his hair isn’t “dyed” red, of course Taako wouldn’t compromise his aesthetic in order to wear proper chefs attire who do you think he is, and yes his catwalk look is literally just Nicki Minaj’s Met Gala dress from last year.
In typical shitty landlord fashion, Kip and Nicole Macy bought an apartment building and immediately set about evicting their five tenants so they could jack up the rent. One of the tenants, a disabled man named Scott Morrow, went to court to fight the eviction. The law determined that he couldn’t be evicted for a full year. The Macys decided the law could go fuck itself.
The Macys were so pissed at Morrow for thwarting their (highly illegal) plan to clear out the building that they cut off his electricity, cut his phone line, and even cut through the floor joists supporting his apartment. Then, since he didn’t come crashing through, they went below his apartment and sawed a hole in his floor. Morrow was home and actually witnessed a freaking saw removing his floor while he was sitting on it. He and a friend attacked it and bent it, but the saw still managed to make a 2-foot-by-4-foot hole in his overpriced apartment with no electricity or structural support.
While the Macys were terrorizing Morrow, two of their new tenants figured out they were being overcharged under San Francisco’s rent-control law and started paying at the lawful rate. The Macys lost their minds, and their grasp on sanity was already at a saw-a-hole-in-a-handicapped-guy’s-floor level.
Pansy almost misses the application deadline for the show.
She spends four hours shading in the lines of the pencil sketches
in her portfolio and then wastes twenty-five minutes staring aghast at the
blinking black cursor on her laptop screen when she gets to the lone lonely
essay question at the end and it’s asking her ‘Who are you?’ like she has any idea how to answer and it’s frustrating.
Because she’s a crumpled white envelope overflowing with
half-smoked cigarettes and expensive hotel stationary and she’s been around the
world and back and has the scars and the postage stamps and the passport ink to
prove it and she’d been The Snitch in high school and The Burnout in college and
sometimes she’s blank but more often than not she’s empty and she’s been
secretly steamed open and left out to dry so that no one could see the marks
and she’s been taped shut and scribbled on and thrown away and she’s all of
these things and all of these moments and how can she condense that
into a 250-word personal statement?
She winds up writing about her idyllic childhood summers at
the Cape and how graduating from Parsons had changed her life and when she gets
her callback a few weeks later from the network she wears a black leather
jacket over a lace-collared white Chanel dress and sneers at the other applicants
in the sleek, chrome-accented waiting room and that isn’t the day she first
speaks to Ginny Weasley, no, but it is
the day that she first notices her.
honestly? fuck smooth skin. fuck hairless genitals. fuck thinness as a signal of sex appeal and good health. i want girls with stretch marks. i want girls with acne scars. i want girls with crooked smiles. i want extremely angry and extremely loud girls. i want girls with ‘bad’ hair. i want mentally ill girls. i want girls with a shitty fashion sense. i want the girls nobody else wants. because i too am one of them.