shitty-english

look man im a native english speaker and i’ve been mispronouncing a crap ton of words because i never looked up the pronunciation for any of them but if you make fun of how a foreigner pronounces an english word either because of their accent or having never heard that word before i will fucking fight you because english has shitty pronunciation rules and none of them make sense fuck off

  • Psychic: *reads my mind*
  • Me: In first GotG movie Rocket lost his only friend at that time, the one who knows how long was by his side ad he didn't even say a proper 'goodbye' to him. And acording to James' words Groot doesn't even have his memories back after regrowing and he's basically a completely new person and Rocket will never get his best friend back-- and in second movie Rocket losts Yondu who was the only person who fully undertood him, they didn't have much time to became close friends but Rocket still lost someone really important to him, who put him into so much suffering in the movies, I think about this everyday I dont understand I dont undestand I don
  • Psychic: ...same
Langst p1 (bc I plan on doing more of this)

Okay but, i hc Lance as a middle child in a big family (everyone does that but bear with me) so he is used to his feelings being overlooked.

But imagine he doesn’t have physical breakdowns around anyone, that he handles emotional stuff calmly. And he surpresses his emotions until he’s alone. I bet he likes to break things. Because you know it releases tension.

And he can do the scary parent stare. And sorry If my English is shitty.

Like: (i’m very sorry, but i’m trying to make it as bad as possible)

The mission went horrible. Completely and utterly horrible. And they were all angry and tired, some even more so.

“WHAT WERE THINKING PIDGE?? IT DOESN’T MATTER THAT YOUR LION CAN CAMOUFLATE! YOU DON’T JUST DO THAT!” Pidge was about to cry, they all saw that except Keith.

“Keith stop it! You can’t just scream at people like that!” Lance put himself between Keith and Pidge. Pidge shakily clenched her tiny fists in the back of his suit.

“WHAT DO YOU KNOW?YOU CAN’T DO ANYTHING RIGHT! ALL YOU ALL DAY IS FLIRT AND COMPLAIN! YOU’RE USELESS I DON’T EVEN IMAGINE WHY THE BLUE LION CHOSE YOU AS HER PALADIN?? THERE ARE TONS OF PEOPLE THAT ARE BETTER THAN YOU OUT THERE!” Keith shouted. His eyes were dark with anger and he was trembling. “CAN’T YOU STOP TALKING FOR FIVE MINUTES? DO YOU REALLY HAVE FLIRT WITH EVERYTHING IN YOUR PATH ? WILL YOU EVER STOP BEING SO ANNOYING?”

The team was speechless. They didn’t know how to react. Not even Shiro. They were all gaping at the scene in front of them.

Lance’s eyes watered and sparkled. For a second he seemed to crumble, ready to break down crying. But his demeanor changed instantly. His posture straightened and his eyes dulled.

“I know i’m annoying and useless. But that doesn’t mean you’re allowed to vent your fury on me, or anyone in the team for that matter. You’re obviously distressed right now.” Lance voice is monotonous. And he is starimg right at Keith. He opened his mouth to say something, but Lance glared. “You are not going to intrerrupt when i’m speaking.” He snapped his mouth shut.“ Now you’re going to take a shower and then come back and appologise to Pidge.”

Keith was about to protest. “You are going to do as I said and I do not want to hear a word from you until you make up with Pidge.” There were obvious tears in Keith’s eyes but he nodded and left.

Than Lance turned to Pidge and crouched to her level. His whole expression softened. He put a hand on her cheek

“Hey, Pidge, don’t cry. I know Keith is mean, and I know you didn’t want to put any of us in danger. None of us blames you, not even Keith, even if he doesn’t know that yet. Okay?” He reassured her.

She put a hand on top of his. “Do you really feel like that?”

“Hm? Of course I don’t blame you.”

“No, i mean… Do you really feel like you’re useless?” She clarified. Lance smiled sadly.

“Yes, Pidge, i do. But right now we are focusing on you. Understood?”

“But-…”

“If I promise i’ll talk to you about it tomorrow will you drop it now?” Offered Lance. Pidge didn’t seem convinced but nodded anyway. “Good, now…” He stood up still holding Pidge’s face. He smiled ar the team and fixed them with a look. “ Go wash yourselves. It was a taxing a mission and we all could use some relaxation. Plus, we stink.”

They all scrambled to do as Lance said. Pidge not before hugging the life out of Lance.

Ahhh! Sorry for the long post! And i know Keith would NEVER do that!! Sorry!

Gangsta AU

PLEASE DO NOT REPOST WITHOUT PERMISSION!


“It’s boring without the kitten arround, isn’t it Beks?” Jean exhales the smoke of his cigarette.

Otabek hums, thoughtful. Even with his noisy partner at his side, it was really too quiet without the cocky blond around. He never thought that the sound of silence that had never affected him before was so disturbing now. It revealed certain thoughts that he refused to bring up … he really missed Yuri.



I’m so damn sorry for this crap… and my english as well… 

This hasn’t turned out as I had expected… but then again, nothing in my life turned out as I expected, so… meh, JJBEK (?) from my Gangsta AU. (which starts as JJBEK and ended up being Otapliroy)

I was planned starting a comic about this, but I feel like I suck at drawing in general, not to mention backgrounds, scales and perspectives… facial expressions, the list is endless. So, for now I prefer bring this up. Maybe I’ll give to all of you a little of plot about this au.


- JJ and Otabek know each other since twelve years old.

- Jean Jaques Leroy was the bastard son of a very wealthy mafia man. Despite he lived in the manor with the family, he wasn’t part of them. In fact, his father hated him and made him know about it whenever he was under the effect of alcohol. Jean never knew why so much hate. With the aggressive behavior of his father against him, JJ started to gives zero fucks about life and began to get into trouble.

- When the nasty business of JJ’s father threatened the family security, he was forced to hire the best group of mercenaries to reinforce his bodyguards, and kip his family safe. JJ wasn’t an exception despite the circumstances.

- In the mercenaries group was a kid, an orphanage one, quiet and with a deadly gaze, who ended up being a good choice to JJ’s safety. Otabek.

- JJ, who had believed that his father at least cared enough for him to have assigned him a bodyguard, nearly fell on his ass when he saw the boy at least four inches less than him, carrying a nine-millimeter revolver. He was beyond pissed off.

- They did not get along at first. Otabek barely emitted sound and he used to answer JJ’s questions with monosyllables.

. JJ was a pain in the ass (How was a brat supposed to keep him safe?!) But in spite of his efforts to get rid of him, Otabek followed him like a shadow.

- They began to get along the night that Otabek discovered JJ crouched on the floor of the hallway to his bedroom, bleeding after the beating his father had given him. He had discovered him smoking. Beka had his own bruises too, a sign that the mercenary who had “adopted” him also used to retaliate with him. They became closer with time.

- JJ learned that the mercenaries used a special drug to stay active and efficient; unbeatable against pain and injuries. Otabek had been no less. They had made him addicted to it, with a fervent need almost like breathing. It was expensive as shit… and lethal.

A couple of months later, Otabek was seriously injured in an attack on the Leroy manor. JJ was the only one who had visited him in the hospital, earning more beatings from his father for worrying and spending money on the useless brat.

After the attack, the mercenaries left when the money of JJ’s father wasn’t enough to cover the expenses. Otabek, who had remained in bed, stumbled to the edge of the mansion where the group of men was walking away. He had called the man. “Dad, wait for me!” The mercenary had turned enough to look over his shoulder. “I do not need a brat who slow me down.” They had abandoned him. The only “family” he knew.

He lived with JJ in hiding, mostly in the bedroom where even the maid was not allowed to pass.

The situation in the manor had worsened, as had the aggression of Jean’s father.

The last beating to Jean was the drop that overflowed the glass for Otabek. After desperate calls for help from JJ, Otabek had come out of hiding with his trench knife. After JJ’s order, his father had no time to blink. Beka had cut off his throat from side to side.

They had escaped together. They lived in the streets for a while. They learned by force to survive.

At age fifteen, JJ discovered that his charm attracted wealthy women and men willing to invest in him for a share of fun. He did not hesitate for a moment. He needed money to live and also to buy the drug for Beka.

Otabek, wanted for homicide and kidnaping (the police believed that he had taken JJ by force), had to settle for the darkness of the alleys, doing small and medium works for the gangs, gaining the respect of the members. The dead-eyed boy was quiet, skillful, and deadly.

At the age of twenty, they both opened a special work agency. Although the work was abundant and the streets full of opportunities JJ continued with his work as prostitute. Money was good and fun assured. Besides, there was always something interesting to teach Beka. Long ago they sought in their bodies the tranquility of closeness and passion in their heat. They were bros… and they fuck… like a lot.

Both worked for gangs, mafia bosses, corrupt cops, brothel owners, drug cartels, but they always came out clean. They kept the balance between the good and the bad in the city. And God help those who tried to break that order.




Piuff! I wrote a lot. I will continue in the next fanart. It will be Yuri and how the met each other.

Karasuno in an International Tournament™

idk if this has been done before but CONSIDER THE FOLLOWING

• kageyama lowkey trying to figure out other countries hand signals & plays

• the absolute fuckery that is an american volleyball tournament

• tanaka and noya are definitely the most popular people there,, their loud personalities fit in perfectly with the north american players, who are essentially just screaming the whole time

• shitty english met with even shittier japanese

• practice matches with other countries two days before the actual tournament starts, & being put on “teams” with players from other countries

• “what the fuck is a toss, you’re a setter, you SET the ball” suga is personally offended by that statement

• girls and boys playing on courts right next to eachother?? booty for everyone

• where are the other countries managers?¿

• staying in a hotel would be an absolute mess

• ukai trying to prevent the team from over eating at the continental breakfast

• 2am runs to the 7/11 across the street with other teams

• yamaguchi meets his new love, cheeseballs

• tsukishima passively bragging to bokuto & kuroo about the tournament

• daichi giving up on keeping the team in check, and eventually joins in on their shenanigans

• taking a fat L against germany,,, why are they all so tall

• hinata getting teary eyed the last day of the tournament

~
(i really needed to share this, sorry about the format)

  • Ravenclaw: 'THOU' MEANS 'YOU' WHEN YOU'RE FUCKING DOING SOMETHING!
  • Ravenclaw: 'THEE' MEANS 'YOU' WHEN YOU'RE HAVING SOMETHING FUCKING DONE TO YOU!
  • Ravenclaw: 'THY' MEANS 'YOUR' AND 'YOURS' WHEN THE THING YOU OWN BEGINS WITH A FUCKING CONSONANT!
  • Ravenclaw: 'THINE' MEANS 'YOUR' AND 'YOURS' WHEN THE THING YOU OWN BEGINS WITH A FUCKING VOWEL!
  • Ravenclaw: IF YOU'RE GOING TO TALK IN SHITTY OLD ENGLISH, DO IT RIGHT!
  • Hufflepuff: Thine Octopus
ASOUE in Hogwarts
  • The sorting hat wasn’t sure if it should put Violet on Gryffindor or on Ravenclaw so it whispered in her ear; ‘’which one’’ and she said ‘’i can handle anything.’’ She seemed brave to the hat because of those words so it decided that she belongs to Gryffindor. It decided almost immediately that Klaus belongs to Ravenclaw and Sunny to Hufflepuff. The Quagmires wen  to Ravenclaw too. 
  • Quiditch players asked Klaus to join the team, he actually didn’t want to, he prefered to be all day in the library but he said yes because he didnt want the boys of the team to judge him. He told Isadora what happened and she went to the Quiditch team and volunteered to play in Klaus’ place, but they told her no because ‘’she is a girl, and she could ruin the whole game’’ so Isadora just said; ‘’girls can’t only handle a lipstick- we also can handle a broomstick’’ so she grabbed one broomstick and flied to the sky really quickly doing acrobatics in the air.  The team was actually amazed, and let her join them. Isadora became a keeper and Klaus was absolutely grateful. 
  • Quigley joined Quiditch team as a Chaser but (damn!) his crush from Gryffindor, Violet Baudelaire became a Chaser too. Violet was pretty good, for sure better than Quigley who just admired her from his broomstick, and because of him they lost the first game of the year because Quigley is such a dork and let her win to only see her smile. 
  • Duncan insisted for a Weekly Hogwarts Newspaper, and he visit Dumbledoore daily to convice him to let him do a Newspaper. So after visit number 48, Dumbledoore gave his approval and Duncan made a Hogwarts Newspaper called; Weekly Wizardly.
  • But what about Sunny? Sunny was actually the best student in the class of potions. Maybe because of her talent in cooking, her grades in this class were the best in the whole school. 
  • The Baudelaires are very curious about that stranger proffesor Lemony Snicket from Ravenclaw, who teaches Theory of Magic and seems to know them. 
  • Baudelaires’ and Quagmires’ favorite proffesor is Mrs. Kit Snicket from Gryffindor. She teaches the spells and she is always funny and kind with her students. 
  • Isadora and Violet, Quigley and Klaus are on the same rooms, which means sleepovers, talking until the dawn and reading all night.
  • ‘‘N-no Klaus! You can’t like a g-girl from… Slytherin!’‘ Duncan and Quigley told him when he conffesed that he likes Fiona from Slytherin. 
  • Quigley asked Violet to go to the Yule Ball with him, and Violet said something ‘’Yes of course! I would really like to go with you!’’ but Quigley was so nervous about it so he got ill so Isadora went to the Yule Ball with Violet because they are Gryffinclaw besties and don’t give a f about what people think
  • Sunny is actually really good friend with all of the ghosts and stays awake until the morning to talk with them.
  • Count Olaf is one powerful wizard, with dark powers, commited to the black magic. None wizard had heard anything for him, for years  but everyone knows that he’s still alive somewhere, making a new plan to get into the Hogwarts..
  • Esme Squalor was a Slytherin Proffesor, one of Death Eaters (supporters of Olaf? Probably?) before she got in Azkaban, she was teaching spells and she was always a bit rude with the students… ‘’Oh gosh, i swear this wand is SO out, that i could throw it out of the window. Kiddo where did you get this broomstick from? Trash? Your cloak is a fashion scandal...’’ She escaped from Azkaban…
  • Carmelita Spats is in Slytherin too, and is actually the bully of Hogwarts. She usually bullies Klaus for his ‘’STUPID CAKESNIFFING GLASSES!!’’ but always her best friend Fiona stops her and she smiles apologetic to Klaus while Carmelita shouts ‘’I SWEAR WHY OTHER STUDENTS ARE BREATHING IN THE SAME ROOM WITH ME FIONA? I SHOULD BE ALONE IN THIS HELL HOLE! IM THE ONLY ONE WHO DESERVES TO BE A WIZARD HERE… NOT IM NOT YELLING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE CORRIDOR YOU STUPID CAKESNIFFER’’
  • Violet becames a really popular girl, fixing something when it’s broken with spells she invited herself. Also making useful magic devices.
  • Klaus becames teachers’ favorite student, not teacher’s pet, but he always knows the answers and is the smart guy from Ravenclaw so all of the teachers like him.
  • Sunny likes to help the elves making the dinner, and they always teaching her new and interesting cooking recipes.
  • Violet, Duncan and Klaus have an owl, Isadora has a cat (she is a cat lady yup) and Sunny has a toad. 
  • And they are all really happy actually because they deserve to be happy in Hogwarts, thank you very much.