shitty-allies

9

just two guys….bonding… i can’t believe this is my first contribution to this amazing show…

dear anti-racist white allies, stop othering yourself from white people. stop pretending you aren’t “that” white person. you are that white person. most likely, the majority of your friends are white. most likely, you appropriate aave. most likely, you still accidentally drop the n-word when singing along to the latest radio hiphop hit. most likely, you will get just the slightest bit uncomfortable around men of color at night. most likely, you have said something in the past month that relies on a racial stereotype. most likely, your attraction to poc has shades of exotification. most likely, your interest in poc cultures can border on cultural appropriation.

i know because those are all things i occasionally find myself guilty of, and it’s not okay.

stop forgetting that a huge part of being an ally is identifying what you do wrong, checking your privilege, and trying your hardest to overcome it so as not to perpetuate those harmful behaviors. being an ally is not about getting social justice points. being an ally is not about a warm fuzzy feeling for helping those less privileged than you. being an an ally is not about being superior to people in your privilege group. being an ally is about helping destroy the privilege you live in and it is just as internal as it is external.

3

these are the nicest messages I’ve gotten from anons. I deleted and blocked the nasty ones. I purposefully divided accounts so people could avoid the explicit fic. This weekend I needed a break and I locked the other blog and it moved here so I closed my askbox. and today I got this comment notif in my email.

The timing could be entirely coincidental and it’s 3am and I’m cranky anyway I guess but I’m kinda. Mad. ? I don’t mind being asked to add a tag and I’m on mobile but I’ll add the tag when I login to ao3 again… idk. Something about the comment rubs me the wrong way. Maybe it’s all like puffed up defensive bluster on my part but. Idk. It’s really discouraging to get a barrage of this.

We’ve all ready fics we viscerally dislike. We all have that howling THATS OOC voice inside when we read. Sometimes we are like why is this fic popular I HATE IT.

I like writing and I’m lucky to have people who engage with me about it and are nice enough to read and review. I’ve made awesome friends and I think improved my writing a lot. I’ll keep working hard to improve. But it’s kinda discouraging, this barrage of the same thing. Maybe I’m being too sensitive and need to work on accepting criticism! But also maybe just….

But maybe just. Click away and find something else you enjoy reading more. I know I always say let me know what you liked and didn’t like but let’s just say enough on this. You don’t like my clexa. I get it. Just leave me alone.

Literally how shitty of an ally/how blinded by your fucking privilege do you have to be to have the damn audacity to claim that “both candidates are horrible!” Or that “this election is such a joke haha” like shut the hell up. Any Muslim, woman, gay person, Mexican, trans person, black person, poor person (basically any oppressed group) in your life will tell you: this election isn’t a fucking joke. It’s terrifying. Pull your head out of your straight white cis rich male ass and realize that this election isn’t something to take lightly. Hillary is infinitely better than trump for so many fucking people. Be a better ally to the marginalized groups in your life and wake the fuck up.

I truly will never understand why “allies” will come down on me for apparently being a big meanie pants to people who are purposely racist/bigoted/misogynistic. “Don’t fight hate with hate”? What the hell do you expect me to do?? D'you want me to fuckin’ flutter down from the sweet warm heavens, drop a flower into their hands, pat them on the head, and twinkle-toe away like some peaceful gay angel?

What???

Being okay with LGBTA people and supporting marriage doesn’t make you an ally, it makes you a decent person. Don’t you dare call yourself call yourself an ally around me unless you actually do something with the title. I’m not saying you have to go riot at your city hall. Write an angry article and publish it to your blog, volunteer at your local LGBT center, donate to a charity! Be an activist, and then you can call yourself an ally.

FRIENDLY REMINDER THAT ACE PEOPLE ARE IN THE LGBTQ COMMUNITY

FRIENDLY REMINDER THAT ARO PEOPLE ARE IN THE LGBTQ COMMUNITY

FRIENDLY REMINDER THAT CISGENDER ACES ARE IN THE LGBTQ COMMUNITY

FRIENDLY REMINDER THAT HETEROSEXUAL AROS ARE IN THE LGBTQ COMMUNITY

FRIENDLY REMINDER THAT YOU CAN BE CISGENDER AND HETEROSEXUAL AND STILL BE AROMANTIC

FRIENDLY REMINDER THAT YOU CAN BE CISGENDER AND HETERO-ROMANTIC AND BE ASEXUAL

FRIENDLY FUCKING REMINDER THAT THE A IN LGBTQIA COMMUNITY, SINCE WE ALL WANT TO BE POLITICALLY CORRECT, STANDS FOR ASEXUAL, AROMANTIC AND AGENDER

FRIENDLY REMINDER THAT ASEXUAL AND AROMANTIC ARE VALID, AND YOU’RE A SHITTY ALLY/LGBTQ MEMBER IF YOU DON’T ACCEPT THEM 

Allies, listen up...

Allies make mistakes. White allies make mistakes in discussions about racism. Men make mistakes in discussions about Feminism. Straight people inadvertently say terrible things in discussions about gay rights. So on and so on.
You know what? Thats okay. Thats expected. What separates the GOOD allies from the shitty allies is how you take criticism for the shitty things you accidentally say in discussions that arent about you. 


Shut up. Listen. Acknowledge your mistake if you wanna. And then KEEP listening.
DO NOT throw a big-ass tantrum and cry about how people are ganging up on you and how you’re “not allowed to have a different opinion”. Because you’re making a discussion thats not about you ALL about your feelings. Thats a shitty ally. Don’t be a shitty ally. Because most shitty allies arent allies at all.