shitty rp starter


as requested by anon


  • ❝If you’re a mermaid then where’s your tail?❞
  • ❝You have to show me!❞
  • ❝So can you bend water?❞
  • ❝It’s almost like you can breathe underwater.❞
  • ❝I’m not a monster!❞
  • ❝You can’t tell anyone about this.❞
  • ❝I don’t need rescued – I’m not drowning.❞
  • ❝How did you turn in to one of these things?❞
  • ❝If you call me Ariel one more time…❞
  • ❝Always be yourself. Unless you can be a mermaid. Then be a mermaid.❞
  • ❝Can you get out of the water?❞
  • ❝Please don’t freak out.❞
  • ❝You’re not real.❞
  • ❝I love your tail. Can I touch it?❞
  • ❝Not all of us are mermaids. Some of us are mermen.❞ 

☭ Shit Katya Zamolodchikova Says Sentence Starters ☭

A sentence meme of the shit Yekaterina Petrovna Zamolodchikova (but your dad just calls her Katya) has said, tweeted or screamed at the moon whilst atop the highest peak of the tallest mountain. Sentences come from her time on Rupaul’s Drag Race, All Stars 2, her own web series (RuGRETS, Total RuCall and RuFLECTIONS on YouTube) or from UNHhhh. 

Change pronouns/tenses/whatever however you want!

  • “I relish the opportunity to be ooky-spooky.”
  • “I do not jump for joy, I frolic in doubt.”
  • “Reality is a bunch of bullshit.”
  • “My makeup tonight went from steamy romance novel to independent horror movie and has now settled at haunting 70’s true crime docu-drama.”
  • “I feel like straight people need to calm down sometimes and just quietly reflect on their choices.”
  • “Shoot for the moon; if you miss you will die in outer space, which is cool.”
  • “Climate change? Horseshit. Real clouds and weather are sturdy and reliable and controlled by God’s butler in Heaven whose name is Sexy Theo.”
  • “If you have a baby you can’t be the baby.”
  • “When you get lonely or sad try wearing a funky hat.”
  • “This Valentine’s Day I encourage all my fellow single ladies to reflect on the way our dead relatives keep us single by using dark magic.“
  • “You can’t rush true love. You have to wait patiently, in the woods, covered in deer piss and then shoot it and use its blood for rituals.”
  • “Perseverance, determination and tenacity are keys to achieving goals and success but don’t forget that simply giving up can be nice too.”
  • “I just screamed at a fly to leave me the fuck alone. I guess it’s time to take a shower.”
  • "I can move my body in a compelling way, it usually compels people to leave the room.”
  • “I’m not that young, I’m just ignorant.”
  • “Regret is a dish best served cold–wait no, that’s revenge”
  • “I want a man who is not afraid to welcome the spirit of pure evil into the bedroom.”
  • “What in the fucking hell is going on here?”
  • “You know what that means? I don’t either.”
  • “I looked like a sea witch…and that’s a good thing.”
  • “Hi, I’m human mistake [name].”
  • “I am my own worst enema.”
  • “Why try new things when I can try nothing?”
  • “I am not rushin’ to say whether or not I actually am Russian. Get it?”
  • “You’re an idiot and I love ya.”
  • “I always wanted to know what the female Gremlin would look like in 25 years.”
  • “Excited about life. Worried about the future.”
  • “The one thing I regret is not grabbing him by the neck, stealing his wallet, taking an Uber to his house, playing cards with his wife…Taking over his whole family with my new life as an old dad.”
  • “I’m probably 10% famous, I don’t know.”
  • “I’m the good person version of Freddy Krueger.”
  • “I like to think of it as the visual representation of untreated mental illness.”
  • “I am not…emotionally or psychologically equipped to deal with a lot of situations that happen in life.”
  • “I don’t take anything personally except most things.”
  • “Up until I was 25 years old my savings account was a…was a thermos.” 
  • “Thank you so much, I’m very intelligent.”
  • “I’ll block you, then I’ll block your whole family and then I’ll come into your house and I’ll steal your phone and I’ll block myself.”
  • “The boogeyman is not real, the real boogeyman is what? Poverty.”
  • “Nobody’s listening to you complain, Brenda, shut the fuck up.”
  • “My wheeze aged ten years.”
  • “Everyday’s Halloween if you believe it in your heart.”
  • “You know, they say space is the final frontier but really death is.”
  • “I don’t believe you for one second. Show me the PBS documentary receipts.”
  • “My mother was the best parent! She’d kick your mother’s ass.”
  • “I mean, stage moms, that’s parenting gone right…wrong. Wrong!”
  • “That’s a rash not a herpes sore.”
  • "In America talk is cheap…in Colombia talk is…Spanish.”
  • “'Who do I think I am? Galadriel, Grand Wizardess of the Tri City Rent Fair?”
  • “I don’t know anything about science other than it’s really good for you.”
  • “You didn’t just see red flags. You did a tour of the plant that makes the red flags and went to every level. And you stayed.”
Nostalgia hurts

Feywen was looking over the library, down to see Solas working on the gorgeous painting on the walls. A sigh escaped​ his lips, looking at the older elf always made him feels some kind of nostalgia. He missed his clan despite not really having good relationship with them. It was still a home with people like him. Here he was mostly near human that looked at him weird. And Sera wasn’t really.. nostalgia. Sera was more “human” then elf.

He could always go down and talk to Solas but.. he knew Solas didn’t really like his clan and he mostly didn’t wanted to interrupt him while he was working. It wasn’t like he could just go over and ask for a hug. He wasn’t a child anymore and he couldn’t be weak. He let out a low hiss when his hand started glowing. Maybe he should see him for that, Solas seemed to know a lot about that.

“Solas?” His voice was weaker then intended when he finally walked down to have a talk.

||One of the Regulars||

It was a mild, sunny sort of day, a day you wouldn’t typically associate with late winter, yet somehow that was the sort of day it was. Normally a day like this would prompt discussions of climate change and melting polar ice caps among the intellectual (or merely the climactically aware) community, but Tony was not a member of such a group. He was perfectly happy to just enjoy the weather without questioning his fortune at recieving it.

“Ahhhhh, such a nice day, don’t you think so Lacy?” He asked, stretching his arms above his head and taking in a deep breath. He glanced over at his wife, taking a moment to appreciate the way the sunshine bounced off her golden locks to form a halo arround her head. A beautiful sight only he could behold.

“Very nice indeed~. But what do you plan on doing with it?” She asked, floating overhead, not one thread of fabric or strand of hair seeming to be effected by the planet’s gravitational pull as she leant over him, perfectly in place despite being half upside down.

“Hmmm,” He meandered over to a bus-stop, flopping himself down on the bench inside and casting his eyes about for something to do. They landed on a sleeping stranger’s bag and the old familiar itch in his fingers gave him his answer. “I think, I’m gonna see if this guy’s got a little something we can use to entertain ourselves today…” He smiled, unzipping the bag and deftly slipping his hand inside.


Things My Brother And I Have Said To Each Other’ sentence starters

  • What are they gonna do? Take my sandwich? This isn’t high school. 
  • Nothin’ like a good opossum. 
  • Do you remember when you dug a hole in the garden, sat down in it, and fell asleep? 
  • What if I just took a bite out of it? 
  • Help me get this fire extinguisher off, I wanna play jazz for the soul. 
  • My girlfriend and I are like you and Luigi. 
  • Sometimes you spout off some really good meme material, you know that? 
  • Your cat only screams to ward off the skeletons. 
  • For Christmas, can you get me one of those shirts that say “I eat ass” in Japanese? 
  • Half man… half skeleton… Skeleton man!
  • That’s not my arm, that’s my tongue. 
  • *in a European accent* ❛ Get up outta bed! 
  • Put me in one of your stories. Make me the pizza dude. Gay robot porn or not, just lemme be in your story. 
  • Why pay ten bucks when you can just pirate the thing? 
  • I can hear him bump into things while he walks around in the dark. 
  • *while petting a cat* What a soft doggo. 
  • Let me play my shitty RPG in peace. 
Open RP

Taika stood alone on the rainy streets, the only thing shielding her from the rain being a coat. She glanced around the dark streets lit by the street lights, cautious to everything around her. It was quite late, and the town was more or less dangerous at this time.

wanted plots/connections: teacher/student, big age difference, abusive relationship, D/s. 

“i told you…” philip pressed his lips into a thin line. “don’t wear that damn tie with that shirt– actually, you should probably just burn the tie. it’s hideous. seriously.” he stared at it, a mild look of disgust written across his face. “you should probably just get a whole new collection of ties.”


They were friends and only friends. And Sarah  convinced
herself that that’s all they’d ever be. And she was fine with
that. Her parents were just over reacting.  She was  grown.
She  could make  her own  decisions and  decide who  her
friends  were.   And   of   course   a   simple   conversation
escalated  to a  heated argument  and when  she  couldn’t
take         it        anymore          she      went        to       him.
          “Hey Tezca. Hope you don’t mind me coming to visit you…

Caught like a Fly [Closed]

==> Effali: Be hopelessly lost.

> You had wandered into an unfamiliar area of woods yesterday before finding a place to sleep, and now you had to deal with that. This is what you get for trying to look for him again… Well, you were getting hungry, you should probably look for some sort of berries or other fruit. You would love to have something more filling like rabbit, but without him there for you, you really couldn’t. You could never bring yourself to kill anything-

> While you were lost in thought, the ground seemed to give way beneath you, and you fell with a scream. When the shock started to pass, you found yourself at the bottom of a deep hole. You started to panic, and tried to get to your feet, but a sharp pain shot up your right leg from your ankle and you fell back down, barely managing to cover your mouth in time to keep yourself from screaming again. This was bad. This was really bad…

Open Starter-The Gala

Oliver was holding his annual benefit at the MoMA (Museum of Modern Art) tonight and the whole team had the night off to schmooze and get drunk off of very expensive champagne. Before settling on a room, Thea made her rounds with a polite smile and a glass of dwindling champagne; like a good sister. This month the gala was benefiting the bio-stimulant that Palmer Tech is trying to patent and make available for more than just the ridiculously wealthy and lucky.

She was getting ridiculously bored by the time she ditched the glass. She was a little unsteady on her feet as she was a few glasses of bubbly down on an empty stomach Thea felt as though she was walking on uneven tile, and just as quickly as she was on her feet, she was falling. She fell into someone’s strong arms, they straight up had catlike reflexes. “Nice catch.” She commended, grateful they were there to catch her.

Rest in pieces

It was near midnight, and Tachyon was taking one of his late-walks. Well, one of his late-walks that was out of will, rather than because he had to walk somewhere to kill someone. The air was crisp, the fluorescent lights were gleaming, and there was little that could ruin his night.

But of course, one of the few things that could ruin his night just happened to show up. A small gang of dudes seemed to be shadowing him. There was about 5, so they weren’t overwhelming, but their presence was still…uncomfortable. In most cases, he was catcalled, or if they could tell he was a dude, very blatantly insulted. Either was, it was more than enough to stress him out.

He began to pick up his pace, but this seemed to alert the group that he knew they were there. They shouted a few things out to them to try and get his attention, but he ignored them the best he could. He knew that if he stopped, if he so much gave them a backwards glance, that he would end up doing something horrible.

He's a Menace, I Tell You! He'll Never Do This City Any Good! || Closed Spiderman!AU w/ saintofhunters

It was the day of the field trip to Kirschtein Corp, where they would be looking at the labs within. They would be looking through where they were experimenting on different types of spiders, and everyone was excited. The only downside was the fact everyone was required to do a stupid worksheet, but it wasn’t like they were going to do it anyways. 

During the time of the trip of the bus to the Corp, Jean Kirschtein, son of the CEO, wouldn’t stop boasting. He would tend to exaggerate a few things, which would be dis-proven by Armin Arlert, a good friend of him, who was sitting across the aisle from him with Eren Jaeger. Even if Jean didn’t appreciate it, the blonde didn’t care much, because he was really excited for the labs. He had actually applied for an internship there, so he was excited to be able to see the place he could work at beforehand.

Adjusting his glasses, he smiled to the brunette, fixing his hair for a second. “Running late again this morning? Are you sure you don’t want me to stop by before I head to school to make sure you’re up?” He chuckled softly, finishing fixing his hair before adjusting his bigger glasses on his face, but after cleaning them off for him.

Still not over... //almostrosetyler//

“What a woman like you does in this kind of place?” Harry asked as he looked to brown haired woman, well he wasn’t sure was she married or not. His plan had been good until he fobwatched himself, because he didn’t remember all of his earlier lifes but still something. He stood up from the chair he was sitting and looked at her. “ Do you like reading?” he asked as he walked besides her leaving a little space between. “Oh and a baby. What’s the name?” he asked and smiled friendly, taking the cicarette away from his lips.